Ukiyoe Painting
by MystIc fAte
Summary: Set in Edo Period Japan,Cloud is an artist and Zack is a Samurai.They want nothing more than to be together,but is it possible when the Shogun has his sights set on Cloud? Or can their love still turn out to be a masterpiece in the end? AU Yaoi ZackXCloud
1. Closer

**Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters. This is written for my own entertainment!**

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_"Ready or not here I come!"_

_With that shouted the little boy picked up his running speed and continued to search for a place to hide. But every good hiding spot already had somebody else there, and when he would come upon it they would say in a hushed voice "get away!" or "get out of here before you get me caught!"_

_Frowning he kept up trying to find a spot for himself._

_"Come out wherever you are!" The voice shouted again, this time sounding closer than the last time._

_He felt his heartbeat speed up as he looked around frantically for a place to hide. There wasn't any good spots! How unfair. He didn't like this game anymore. He never won at any games, and that was no fun._

_Slowing his pace he felt tears sting his eyes in frustration. His little lungs were burning from the lack of air and he was just about to give up and let the person catch him before he heard a loud whisper._

_"Cloud! Over here!"_

_Looking around he saw a hand waving to him from under the steps of his house. His eyes widened slightly, he didn't even know that anyone could fit under there. What a great place to hide! _

_"Come on!" The whisper spoke again as the boy emerged from beneath the steps, carefully glancing around before running up and taking the other by the hand and dragging him back to beneath the steps._

_He didn't get a chance to say a word before the other held a finger up to his lips in a shushing motion._

_Nodding the blond was as quiet as can be as he pulled his legs closer to himself and leaned back as far as he could to remain out of sight from the onlooker._

_"Come on where is everybody!?" The voice shouted again before the sound of footsteps getting near sounded. _

_Holding his breath and hoping not to be seen he waited until the footsteps would go away. A pair of arms circled around him and pulled him tighter as they waited in silence. Finally the footsteps went away and Cloud let out his breath._

_"I think he's gone," the other whispered while carefully letting go of the smaller one and crawling out just a bit from the hiding place to look around._

_"Be careful," Cloud began quietly._

_"It's alright, he's gone. I see base, let's go!" The other exclaimed while reaching back and clasping the blonds small hand within his. In a second they were off, running as fast as their legs could carry them, whizzing past trees and hopping over small bushes as twigs cracked beneath their sandals._

_It took Cloud a little more effort to keep up with his friend, but as long as he was holding his hand he knew that he wouldn't let him fall behind. And within a minute they reached the huge rock that was deemed "base" and they were safe._

_"Yes! We did it, first ones here too!"_

_"Yeah!" Cloud beamed with a laugh while hopping up onto the big rock._

_"I found you!!" They heard the voice shout followed by a girl's scream before a few more kids rounded the corner._

_One after one they tagged the base and slumped against the rock tiredly before the last one approached with a frown on his face._

_"You guys cheated!"_

_"No we didn't!" Practically everyone said in unison._

_"I only found one person and I still couldn't tag her!" The red head shouted._

_"It's not our fault if you're slow Reno!" The gray eyed girl shot back._

_"Shut up Yuffie!" _

_"Hey you almost caught me," Aerith spoke while trying to catch her breath in between words._

_"Well I'm not being it again!" Reno shouted._

_"You have to be you didn't catch anyone!" Yuffie continued._

_"Because you guys went too far, we said no farther than the lake!" Reno argued._

_"I didn't go that far," Vincent spoke softly, not even seeming to be the least bit out of breath._

_"Fine!! I'll be it again!" The red head yelled in frustration._

_"You won't be able to find us, Zack and I have the best hiding place," Cloud explained while hopping off from the rock._

_"Whatever, I'm counting so go already!"_

_"Cloud!" A woman's voice called from off in the distance. All of the kids stopped and looked towards the sound before looking to the blonde._

_"I think that's your mom Cloud," Aerith spoke while fixing her ponytail._

_And sure enough walking over to the group of kids was the blonde's mother._

_"Time to come inside," she spoke with a wave of her arm._

_"Aww mom can I stay out for just a little bit longer?" Cloud pleaded while looking up to his mother with bright blue eyes._

_"It's starting to get dark out already, and you haven't even had dinner," she began with a shake of her head._

_"Can he just play one more game auntie? I'll walk back home with him afterward," Zack chimed in while walking up beside Cloud and giving his mom a wide smile._

_"Well…" she started while pondering it for a moment then gave a brief nod, "ok that's fine I guess. Just one game. And then I think you all better be heading home also."_

_They all replied yes before Cloud's mother retreated back into the house and then they were back to their game. Reno started to count again and everyone scattered to find hiding spots. Cloud was just about to turn to run back to their previous hiding spot before Zack grabbed his hand._

_"Come on, I know a better spot!" _

_Smiling Cloud followed. Zack never left him behind. Ever._

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Letting out a sigh Cloud continued to gaze out at the lake as he snapped out of his small flashback. It seemed to be that he was frequently thinking back to those times when he was just a little kid. Maybe because now things were so different. Even if it hadn't exactly been too long ago. He had only been eight then when they all used to play here, and now he was fifteen. But a lot could change in seven years. And between he and his friends, many things had changed. In each of their lives things were so different, and it sometimes prevented them from all seeing each other all the time like they used to.

Looking off to the side his eyes fell onto the small quaint house that he and his family used to stay in. The one where he and Zack hid countless times under the stone steps. He still wondered how they managed to squeeze into such a small space, and that thought alone brought a smile to his face. As he kept his eyes scanning over the area, the small town and the little houses, a memory would pop back into his head. He was currently looking at Zack's home, it was only a few doors down from the house he used to stay in. He remembered them staying out countless nights playing out in the streets or sitting in the current place that he was now looking out at the lake as they shared their dreams of the future with each other. It just seemed like it was yesterday.

Leaning back he laid out on the grass, staring up at the cloudless sky. It was such a nice day out, easy to get lost in ones thoughts while relaxing like this. He closed his eyes as the gentle wind blew threw his hair, making him even more comfortable with each second that passed. It was entirely to easy to feel relaxed here and he was sure that he could easily fall asleep if he wasn't careful.

Blinking open his eyes slowly he found himself staring into blue. However it wasn't the blue of the sky, but instead the dark blue of someone's eyes.

"Boo!"

Letting out a scream that he would deny ever happened if questioned the blonde quickly sat up as the other fell back in hysterical laughter.

"Zack!!"

"Oh that was great!" Zack began in between laughs while wrapping his arms around his stomach.

Narrowing his eyes the blond moved over to the other before socking him hard in the arm, "shut up!"

"Ow!" Zack cried while clutching at his arm, though he was still laughing in the process.

"You're an idiot," Cloud replied with a shake of his head, however he couldn't help the small smile that began to spread across his face.

"Sorry, I didn't think you'd get _that _scared," Zack explained once he got his laughter under control.

"Well I was spacing out," Cloud responded while turning back to the lake briefly.

"Apparently," Zack added while still rubbing at his arm, "what are you doing out here anyways?"

"I was going to sketch but," he began while looking beside him to his sketching materials that were placed next to him, "changed my mind," he finished while looking back to Zack and briefly rubbing at his injured arm that he had hit. "I didn't really hit you that hard did I?" He asked feeling a bit guilty

Grinning while reaching out to ruffle blond spikes Zack shook his head. "No don't worry," he replied before picking up the sketch book beside the other and rifling through it, "there's some new ones in here."

"A few yeah," Cloud nodded while looking at the sketches as well.

"Each one you do is better and better," Zack explained as his grin widened, his eyes not leaving the images before him.

"Think so?" Cloud asked while glancing up to the other.

"Are you kidding me, they're great!" Zack continued while lowering the sketch book to look towards the blond.

"Thanks," Cloud replied with a smile while shifting to a more comfortable position beside Zack, "I really want to paint now."

"Why don't you?" Zack asked while closing the book and setting it down in front of him.

"Just haven't taken the time out to start," Cloud began with a sigh, "and my dad would-"

"Who cares what he thinks," Zack quickly cut in, "you're an artist. And if he can't see that it's his problem."

Pausing briefly Cloud gave a small nod. He knew Zack was right, but still it was something that annoyed him. His father thought he was wasting his time on his passion for art. And it wasn't something that his dad was proud of. He wanted him to do something else instead of doing "silly drawings" as he would say. If he could have it his way, Cloud would be preparing to become a great samurai. Like Zack now was.

But it was completely different. Cloud knew that Zack really wanted to be a Samurai when he got older. When they were kids, it was all Zack ever talked about. And it just fit him. Ever since Cloud could remember Zack was always the "protector." It was in his blood, something that was just Zack. And while Cloud never would consider himself weak exactly, he didn't think he was a warrior either. Never would be. And art was what he loved, always had. Since he was little he had always admired paintings and was waiting for the day when he could create his own. Something that he was absolutely proud of.

However now that his father had become the Chamberlain to the Shogun he often thought that his dad just wanted Cloud to do something else so that he could brag about it. As Chamberlain he supposed his father had some image to uphold, and while he understood that it wasn't as if he was doing anything to disgrace the family. In a way he sort of wished his dad wasn't Chamberlain and that they hadn't moved into Edo Castle. He didn't need all that, and he would be fine with still living in his tiny home in the village. Though he'd never admit it out loud for fear he would be looked at as ungrateful.

"Hey, did you eat already?" Zack asked while nudging Cloud with his elbow.

Blinking briefly Cloud shook his head, "no not yet."

"Let's go then! I'm starving!" Zack exclaimed while hopping up off the ground and extending his hand to help the other up. Pulling Cloud to his feet they began making their way away from the lake and further into the town. It wasn't very crowded on the streets anymore seeing as how the sun was beginning to set, and most people were in their homes for dinner already.

It didn't take them long before they reached the small restaurant, the best one in town, owned by none other than the Kisiragi family.

It was actually pretty crowded inside. The sound of men's laughter filled the place. No doubt they were drunk off sake already.

"Welcome! Just a sec!" A voice called once the two had stepped inside.

"Let's sit there," Zack spoke up while pointing to a table off to the side of the room. Cloud nodded and followed as they took seats at the small table. He sat down next to Zack instead of across from him, something that he had always done since they were kids.

"Here you are!" The voice came again as a girl emerged from the kitchen with a tray of food and took it over to a nearby table, "Enjoy!" After setting down the tray she turned her focus over to the two before making her way over.

"Hey!" Zack beamed while leaning a bit onto the table.

"Busy enough in here for you?" Cloud asked with a look of sympathy.

"Save me," Yuffie whined while kneeling down beside the table and covering her face with her hands. "These drunks are making a mess, that _I'll_ have to clean up no less."

"Yuffie!" A woman's shrill voice called from the kitchen.

"Coming!" Yuffie shouted back before looking back to the two, "no time for breaks I guess. Be right back with some tea," she finished before scurrying off to the back. And she was right, she didn't have time to take a break at all from that moment on. She was constantly running around the restaurant, fetching drinks and food for the loud men in the restaurant. Zack and Cloud ignored the others for the most part and were caught up in their own meal and conversation. But Zack did keep a close eye on Yuffie after he heard a few guys make some inappropriate comments towards her. It seemed like Yuffie hadn't heard them though seeing as how she was so busy. But Zack did, and he clearly made his presence known as he cleared his throat loudly and shot a look their way that seemed to say "cool it." And after that they stayed in line. Once they were aware there was a Samurai among them they didn't want to cause any trouble. And it wasn't that Zack was trying to intimidate them with his position so much as it was that he didn't want them disrespecting the girl. She was barely fourteen! The youngest amongst their group of friends, and these guys were easily ten years older than her if not more.

But as the evening went on the men left little by little and finally the restaurant was empty. They didn't stay much longer after that, just enough to talk with Yuffie briefly and then they had left out allowing the restaurant to close up for the night. They walked back throughout the town, not saying where they were heading but they didn't need to. Their legs just carried them to their usual spot.

"I guess I better be getting back, my mom's going to worry I've been out all day," Cloud explained with a sigh.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Zack replied while glancing up at the stars, "it's just so nice out I don't want to be inside."

"Neither do I really," Cloud responded while looking up at the sky with Zack.

"Then stay out here with me for a bit longer," Zack began while lowering his head to look back to the blond, "I'll walk back with you afterwards."

A part of Cloud wanted to tell Zack it was fine, he didn't need to walk him back. But it was just something that had kind of stuck since they were kids. No matter where Cloud was going in their little town, Zack was always his escort. Even when he was just walking home from the other's house, when they used to live like three doors down from each other…Zack still walked that short distance with him. In a way it was sort of flattering though, and Cloud secretly always felt special in some way that Zack did that for him. After all he only did that with him. Even though it was no secret that they were best friends, everyone knew. Ever since they were little it was always "Zack and Cloud, Cloud and Zack." It had a nice ring to it he thought.

"Okay," Cloud replied with a nod before lying back against the grass and gazing up at the sky.

Smirking Zack followed suit and laid down beside Cloud with a content sigh. They stayed that way in comfortable silence for a while, both of them admiring the night sky and simply enjoying the others presence. Here by the lake it was their time. No matter how hectic life got at times, when they were here they could relax and just be them. It had still remained the same after all those years.

Without a word Zack extended his hand to grasp the blonds smaller one within his before squeezing it gently.

Turning his head to look at the other Cloud squeezed back before letting a small smile appear on his face.

Just that small touch from Zack was enough to make Cloud's heart race. That warmth that he felt was so comforting, and something that he dearly cherished.

Looking beside him to Cloud, whose eyes were already fixed upon him Zack returned the smile.

"Come here," he spoke softly with a certain glint in his eye before tugging at the boys hand a bit.

Moving over closer Cloud propped himself up with his free hand so that he was now staring down at Zack. Into those deep blue eyes that he easily found himself lost in.

An arm gently wrapped around his waist before he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss against Zack's lips. Pulling back his smile widened as he looked at the disapproving look on Zack's face. It could only be described as that of a sad puppy and he couldn't help but to let out a chuckle before leaning back down and giving the other a proper kiss.

And like always it warmed him from head to toe, brought a blush to his cheeks and made his heart want to burst from his chest.

The feelings that would arise when he was with Zack…like this, was indescribable. And these moments were cherished more than anything else, what they both looked forward to at all times. Because it didn't happen all the time, and it was at times difficult for just the two of them to be together.

And main reason for that was because their relationship was a secret. Not that they really wanted it to be, but they really had no choice. For anyone to know about it would only spell disaster and cause problems for them and even possibly their families.

But their feelings for each other were too strong to be ignored. And despite what others may think that didn't stop them from being together. This had been going on for the last four months now. It had been a long time coming though. They both had feelings for each other for a lot longer, but it was their fear and uncertainty that kept them from speaking up about it. In the end it had been Zack to take the first step and tell Cloud how he felt, no matter how clumsy his words were or how nervous he had been…he never regretted it for a minute. They had been here in their usual spot on a night just like this one when he had poured his heart out to the blonde. And for a moment there he thought it may have been the wrong decision in doing so when he saw tears well up in the others eyes. Disgust, hatred, appalled? That was what he first thought Cloud may have been feeling and his heart sunk. But when Cloud wrapped his arms around him he felt a little hopeful. And when the blonde spoke up next, it was all he needed to hear.

_"It's always been you Zack. Ever since we were kids…"_

And since that day, those confessions, their bond had become even more tight than it already had been. Even if things weren't like when they were kids, even if they couldn't see each other every day and had to keep their relationship secret, it didn't hurt them…if anything it made their bond stronger.

"Much better," Zack said with a grin once they broke their lengthy kiss.

Shaking his head Cloud laughed softly before lying beside Zack again, this time closer to him so that he could rest his head on his chest. He felt the others fingers running gently through his hair and he closed his eyes at the soothing feeling.

"You know I really do need to get back," Cloud spoke again, his eyes still remaining closed as he draped an arm across Zack's waist.

"Yeah," Zack began with a sigh. Their time together never seemed to be nearly as long as he wanted it to be. But with Cloud staying in the castle it was nearly impossible for him to stay out for very long. There was too many eyes and ears around and speculating would begin if he stayed out late hours. "Let's go then," he finished while patting the other on the back.

Pulling himself up from his comfortable position Cloud got to his feet as Zack did the same. Heading back home was always the part Cloud dreaded most. His life back at the castle was so different, and he often wished he still lived here in the village like Zack did. If they were still just houses apart he wouldn't have to always cut their time short like he usually ended up having to do. That always made him feel guilty and he hated it.

Being true to his word like he always was Zack walked Cloud back to the castle. It really wasn't too far off from the village, but still far enough in Zack's opinion and he would never let Cloud walk it alone at night, and he never had.

"What's going on with you tomorrow?" Cloud asked as they approached the gates.

"I don't know yet. I'm going to meet with Angeal in the morning for something, but not sure what it's about," Zack replied as they came to a stop at the entrance.

"I have to meet with my tutor tomorrow," Cloud explained, not at all sounding happy about it. When he was doing his studies with his tutor it usually took up a good portion of his day.

"Well," Zack began with a nod, "when you're done there you should work on your painting. You have to make time for it."

"Yeah, I'll try," Cloud replied with a smile. Zack was always pushing for him to continue with his art, he was almost as passionate about it as Cloud was himself.

Casting a look over to the guards by the front gates Zack decided they should cut their conversation short. Even though everyone knew the two of them were best friends, he never wanted to give them any reason to question it or to make accusations. People loved to talk and gossip, it wasn't exactly hard to see how a rumor could easily start up.

"Okay, well get some rest. I know you have to wake up early," Zack started just as Cloud glanced behind him to the guards. They didn't seem to be paying attention at all but still Cloud understood why Zack was wrapping up their conversation.

"Yeah, you too," he answered while looking back to the other.

For a moment there_, just _for a moment it seemed as if Zack were going to lean in as if to kiss Cloud goodnight. And even though the move was subtle Cloud could still tell, he even felt himself lean forward in response to meet him halfway but he quickly caught himself.

"Goodnight Cloud," Zack spoke, giving the other one last smile for the evening.

"Goodnight Zack," Cloud replied, returning the smile gently before turning around and heading towards the entrance. He made sure not to linger after saying his goodbye, he always did so. Zack had told him not to. Cloud was the Chamberlain's son and Zack was a samurai. And in that sense Cloud was above him, if you got technical about it. Even though Cloud could care less about his position it was still important to everyone else around him. So to keep up the charade he had to act a certain way in front of onlookers. It was rather annoying but it was what he had to do.

Once he made it to the gates the guards acknowledged him with a greeting before opening the gates to let him enter inside. He didn't look back as he continued further into the castle, not until he heard the front gates close loudly. But it was just for a moment.

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"Hurry up, you're going to be late!"

"Coming," Cloud replied quickly before stuffing a couple more bites of his breakfast into his mouth.

"You wouldn't have to rush like this if you didn't wander around so late at night and were at home at a decent hour," his father spoke sternly before shooting his son a disapproving look.

"It's not that, it's just he's not a morning person," his mother added while giving Cloud a warm smile. Always trying to come to his aid when she thought his father was being to rough.

"And for that reason he keeps his tutor waiting," his father continued.

Standing up from the table Cloud let out a quiet sigh before turning to his dad, "sorry."

His father didn't say anything but simply headed for the door, sliding it open as he stepped out with Cloud right behind him.

"Have a good day you two!" His mother called from behind them.

Cloud said goodbye to her before catching up to his dad who had already begun making his way out of their quarters.

"No slacking off today understand?" His dad started. However it wasn't anything unusual, he said the same thing to him every day he went for lessons. And Cloud didn't know why he said it so much, it wasn't as if he was bad when it came to his studies.

"Yes," Cloud replied before stopping in his tracks. "Oh I forgot my notebook!"

Pausing briefly his father cast a look back at him before sighing, "fine go and get it. I have to go before you make me late for my meeting," he finished before continuing on.

Not hesitating for a minute Cloud quickly turned around and made his way back to retrieve his notebook. As soon as he had slid open the door his mother was waiting there with her arm outstretched, notebook in hand.

"Thanks," he spoke while taking the item from her hand.

"Wait, take this too!" His mother began while picking up a folder that was set on the table, "you're father needs this for his meeting I'm sure. Go take it to him."

He really was going to be late to meet with his tutor now, but he supposed it didn't matter at this point. Taking the folder he turned and quickly made his way out of the quarters and into the main halls of the castle. There was already a lot of people bustling around, most of them he knew. He smiled and said a quick hello whenever someone would acknowledge him. But for the most part he was just focused on getting to the meeting hall where he knew his father would be. Even if he was bringing something for him he was sure his dad would still be upset that he was further delaying himself from lessons.

Finally making it to the room he lifted his hand to knock and then thought otherwise. If their meeting had already started he didn't want to disrupt it. Maybe he could just slide the folder under the door? No, that probably wasn't the best option. Grasping the handle he slowly pulled open the door, cringing when it made a loud creak. But when he peered inside he saw that the table where people should've been sitting was empty. They must've been in the back. Perfect. Walking into the room quietly he made his way over to the large conference table before setting the folder down upon it.

The sound of the door creaking again made him jump slightly and he turned his gaze towards it when he heard voices and footsteps.

"Oh, who might this be?" A woman's voice asked. Cloud turned his focus towards her. He didn't recognize her, but the two men beside her he knew. One was Angeal, he was Zack's mentor along with being the lead over the Samurai in Edo. And the other, the man with dark sleek hair pulled back into a low ponytail, was none other than Hojo. The shogun. Even though he resided in the castle now he still didn't see him often, so to run into him was sort of a big deal. But of course he knew who he was.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been in here," Cloud quickly explained while bowing before the Shogun. "I'm Cloud Strife, the Chamberlains son."

"Chamberlain Saito's son?" Hojo spoke in a questioning tone while adjusting his glasses that were resting on the bridge of his nose as he carefully raked his eyes over the other.

"You've met him briefly before I believe," Angeal added.

"Yes, it was a while ago," Cloud confirmed. They had only really met once when his father had just became Chamberlain. "I was just dropping something off to my father," he continued before standing back up straight.

"That's fine," Hojo spoke, "our meeting hasn't begun yet, you're not disturbing anything," he explained with a smile.

What a relief, Cloud thought. The last thing he wanted was to get in trouble for this and have his dad lecture him about it later.

However the look that the shogun was giving the blond made him still feel a bit worried. Even if he was smiling. Hopefully he wouldn't mention anything to his father.

"Cloud, you should be leaving now though right? Don't you have lessons today?" Angeal spoke while turning his gaze from Hojo to the boy.

"Oh yeah," Cloud began with a blink, he had almost forgot. For a moment he wondered how Angeal knew about that but then figured Zack must've mentioned it to him. "Sorry again, excuse me," he spoke quickly while giving one last bow to the Shogun who simply just gave Cloud a small nod.

Slipping past the three Cloud made his way out of the room, not catching the glance that the Shogun shot over his shoulder at him before the door fell shut.

* * *

**Authors Notes: And there is Chap 1, not very long but most of my intro chapters never are! I've been wanting to write this for a while but I kept getting distracted, but now that I've started I'm excited about it. I love Japan during the Edo period and I thought it would be cool to write a fic based around that time. I've gotten a lot of messages about people saying they would like to see a lot more FF7 characters in my future fics. So I'm throwing in a lot in this one since it was requested! I'll fill out more character development later. Please read and review! Thanks, will post chap 2 soon!**


	2. Rough Draft

Turning the page in the book that he was reading Cloud let out a sigh while shifting in his bed. Either this book was going to have to get a bit more interesting soon or he was sure he was going to fall asleep. And it was a good possibility that that would happen. He was bored. Bored out of his mind. He didn't like to be cooped up indoors all the time. If he had it his way he would be out right now. But his father had told him he wanted him to stay inside for the day. And that he should focus on _studying_.

He couldn't help but frown at that. It was just his dad's stupid reason to keep him from leaving the castle. He honestly didn't understand why he wanted him confined. What kind of trouble was he expecting him to get into?

Cloud had half the mind to just go out anyway. After all his parent's weren't there at the moment, and he knew they would be gone for a while. But then again it was already dark out now.

A knock at the door shook him out of his thoughts and he placed the book down on the bed. He didn't bother to mark the page he was on, wasn't like he was really paying attention to it anyways.

He made his way down the hardwood floors of the hallway in sock clad feet before reaching the door. Sliding it open he blinked briefly in surprise before raising an eyebrow.

"What are you doing here?" He asked softly while peering outside past the other.

"Came to see you of course!" Was the chipper reply he got.

"I thought you'd be at the dinner," Cloud replied while stepping aside to let the Samurai in.

"I was for a little while," Zack explained while removing his shoes at the door before walking in, "but Angeal let me leave early since I had been working all day. He figured I needed rest."

"And you came here?" Cloud asked while sliding the door close.

"Well I was already here in the castle," Zack began with a smile, "I thought it would be nice to see you."

Turning around to face the other Cloud gave a small smile. It wasn't unlike Zack to come drop by and see him whenever he was in the castle. Even if he had had a long, tiring day.

A soft meow drew both of their attention towards the floor, as the small orange and white cat rubbed it's face against Zack's leg.

"Tama!" He began while crouching down to pet the cat.

"I think she's missed you," Cloud began while moving towards the kitchen.

"Yeah, it's been a while," Zack replied, still showering the cat with attention.

The cat was really attached to Zack. He had gotten her when she was just a kitten actually when he found out that Cloud and his family were moving into Edo castle. He knew that Cloud wasn't too happy about moving there, and so he wanted to try to help in some way. So he had decided on the kitten. She could help provide some sort of comfort to the blonde. And Cloud was more than happy when he received her. And ever since then whenever Zack would visit she would always want to cuddle up to him.

"Did you eat already? My mom made dinner before they left," Cloud explained from the kitchen.

"I'm fine," Zack responded while giving Tama one last pet before moving towards the kitchen as well. "Your mom and dad are at the dinner?"

"Yeah, you didn't see them?" Cloud asked while turning his focus towards the other.

"No, but I mean there was a lot of people there," Zack explained.

"Naturally," Cloud replied softly. There was always events like this at the Castle. Dinners and ceremonies that all of the occupants within the Castle attended. However Cloud never liked to attend them. There was way too many people for his liking and he didn't like to schmooze with everyone. Occasionally, if it was a more important event he would have to go. But one's that weren't as important he didn't, in fact his father preferred he didn't. So he guessed in some way it worked out to his advantage.

Grabbing a quick snack Cloud led them back to his room where they stretched out on the bed, chatting about everything that came to mind. He was glad that Zack had came by this evening. His whole day had been pretty dull but just being able to see his boyfriend for a while made it better. Even if he could clearly see now that Zack was tired. He was still talking and smiling, but Cloud noticed the tiredness in his eyes. He wasn't sure how long they had been lounging around but it had been a while, that much he was sure of.

"You should probably get going, I know you're tired," Cloud began while poking Zack in his side.

"Hmm? You're trying to get rid of me already?" Zack asked jokingly with a frown.

"Not that I want to," Cloud replied with a brief laugh, "I'm going to be bored again once you leave. But…"

"Then I won't leave now," Zack answered quickly while letting his gaze pierce the others.

"But you're going to be so tired tomo-" Cloud started before his sentence was lost against Zack's lips that were now pressed against his. His eyes fell shut after only a second of feeling the others mouth work against his. His tongue gently entering his mouth, allowing a soft, satisfied moan to escape from the blond.

Breaking the kiss Zack pulled away just enough so that he could stare down into blue eyes that had just opened slightly.

"Still want me to go?" Zack asked quietly, a small smile still etched in his features.

"Not so much," Cloud answered just before Zack was leaning in for another kiss. They weren't rushed or forceful. But instead slow and deep, and yet somehow remaining soft and gentle. It practically took Cloud's breath away. He loved it when Zack kissed him this way, it made his whole body tingle with a sensation that he couldn't describe…but he knew he loved it.

He slowly ran his hands up muscled arms before bringing them to rest upon broad shoulders as he felt Zack's hand run down his side before stopping at his hip. A pleasant shiver ran through him as he tangled his hands in raven hair. There was something about Zack's touch that made him weak and stirred up something within him. Even if the contact wasn't skin on skin but through his yukata. He often wondered how it _would_ be if it were though. To feel Zack touch him on every part of his body. Just the thought alone however brought an instant blush to his face.

Though they were in a relationship now, they still hadn't gone…_all_ the way. Not yet. Cloud often wondered if his hesitance was a bad thing, but Zack respected it. He never pushed Cloud, and he knew his boundaries. But they seemed to be alright with where they were at now, and so that was fine. But bit by bit Cloud felt like he wanted more…needed more. It was just a matter of time really, there was no question about that. Zack was definitely the one.

Cloud let out a small laugh when he felt Zack's lips brush lightly against his neck. He was pretty ticklish, and he knew that sometimes Zack did those things on purpose just to see the blonde's reaction.

Continuing to trail light kisses down his boyfriends neck Zack stopped right above his collar bone, giving it a soft nip. Cloud took in a sharp breath of air at that before Zack was gently kissing the area, licking and sucking at the junction between the others shoulder and neck. He made sure not to be rough, the last thing they needed was for Cloud to have a mark there. That would only cause problems.

"Zack," Cloud murmured quietly while squirming under the other's weight. He was beginning to feel light headed…but in a good way, and his stomach felt like there was tons of butterflies flapping around in there.

"Mm," was Zack's response as he made his way back up the others neck before biting his earlobe playfully.

"Don't!" Cloud began with a laugh at the feel of the tickling sensation.

"Huh?" Zack asked while pulling back to give the other a confused look.

Cloud knew he was only pretending to act clueless and he shook his head. "You know what," he explained while narrowing his eyes.

"Oh," Zack started with a certain gleam in his eyes, "you meant this?" He finished while leaning back down to nibble on the others ear.

"Zack! Stop it!" Cloud laughed again while trying to push the other away.

"Does that tickle?" Zack asked innocently as he continued on, now bringing his fingers into it as they attacked the smaller one's sides.

There wasn't much that Cloud could do to get away from it. He was laughing too hard by now. All he could do was squirm around and try to push Zack away, but his laughing was taking up all of his energy.

Zack couldn't help but to laugh right along with the other. Cloud's laugh was contagious, especially when he was laughing like _this_. It was very very rare, but when it did happen Zack couldn't help but to join in. He had to admit that he loved messing with Cloud this way. He had ever since they were kids. But there was something so sweet and pure about the sound that he loved. And Cloud would only ever completely drop his guard when he was with Zack alone. The side of him that nobody else got to see, or knew. And that in some way made it all the more fulfilling.

However the Samurai figured he should stop once he saw the redness in Cloud's face, no doubt from lack of air. So backing off he sat back on his heels and grinned down at the other who was breathing heavily.

"I guess it does," Zack stated as Cloud glared at him. But it only lasted a moment before he was smiling at the other.

"I'll get you…back…just wait," Cloud explained in between breaths.

Moving beside the other Zack reached out to wrap his arm around the blond's waist. "Fair enough."

Closing his eyes Cloud tried to calm his racing heart and steady his breathing. He heard Zack let out a small chuckle before another arm wrapped around him, pulling him tighter against the other. He was so exhausted he didn't want to move, and there in Zack's arms he felt more than comfortable. He just wanted to stay this way…for a little while at least.

The sound of a door closing and a woman's laughter caught Cloud's attention. He heard muffled voices coming from beyond his room and then he heard the laugh again. And that's when it hit him. It was his parents. When did they get back?

Shifting in the bed he opened his eyes when he felt a warmth behind him. Looking over his shoulder his eyes widened as he took in the sight. Zack was still here? He stared at the other who seemed to be sound asleep and currently had his arm still wrapped around the blond.

'We must've both fallen asleep,' Cloud thought to himself while carefully sitting up and removing Zack's arm from around him. He knew Zack was tired, he didn't want to wake him up. Not now, not at this late hour. And he seemed to be sleeping so peacefully. Cloud didn't have the heart to wake him. So slipping out of his bed he made his way out of his room and down the hall where his parents were.

"Cloud?" His mother asked as he came further into the room, "what are you still doing up?"

"I just heard you come in," Cloud spoke quietly, "how was it?"

"It was very nice," his mother replied with a smile, "next time you'll come to okay?"

Cloud gave a nod before his father spoke up.

"I hope you were able to get some work done. And I'm not talking about those drawings."

"Saito, leave him alone," his mother began with a bit of a sigh, "it's late, he's tired."

"I did get some studying done," Cloud replied anyways. He didn't know why, he probably really shouldn't care. But he hated not being able to please his dad. In some way he still wanted him to be proud of him. So he still tried to do most of the things his dad expected him to do.

"Good," his dad answered before walking across the room to get ready to go down the hall.

"Also," Cloud quickly started before his father had left the room, "Zack came here earlier. But he, or _we_ ended up falling asleep so he's still here."

"Oh!" Cloud's mom began while covering her mouth briefly, "is he still sleeping? And here I am talking so loudly."

"What was he doing here and not at the dinner?" Saito asked firmly.

"Angeal let him leave early. He just stopped by here to say hi but he was really tired. And I didn't want to wake him now," Cloud explained.

"Well of course not!" Natsumi began in a loud whisper. "I'm sure he's exhausted, we're not going to wake him up now. Let him rest! You too Cloud, it's late, you have lessons tomorrow. Go to bed."

Cloud could barely get in a word after he had spoken that. Not that he expected anything else really. His mom had known Zack ever since he was little. And since her son and Zack had grown up together and were so close, she considered him just like another son. She was just as protective over him. But in a way, Cloud loved that. That the person that meant so much to him also meant a lot to his family. And his dad…well, while he may never be so open about it he knew that he had a great deal of respect for Zack. After all, he had wanted Cloud to become a Samurai like him.

His mom was saying something else before ushering him out of the room and down the hall before placing a kiss on his cheek and telling him goodnight. He slipped back into his room, sliding the door shut behind him before letting his gaze travel across the room to his bed. Zack was now sitting up and rubbing his eyes tiredly with his hand.

"Is everything okay?" He asked sleepily while peering back at the other.

"Yeah," Cloud replied softly while making his way back over to the bed, "I was just letting them know you were here."

"Oh," Zack began with a brief nod, "it's fine right?"

Lying back on the bed Cloud reached up to pull the other down beside him. "It's fine. Get some sleep," he finished before leaning in to place a kiss on the others lips. He pulled the covers up over them afterwards before moving over to the other side of the bed. While he would love to be able to sleep in Zack's arms, it was too risky. He had lessons the next day which meant that his mother would be coming in his room to wake him up. And what a compromising position that would be. So, as usual they played the role that they had been for so long. Best friends. And nothing more.

* * *

"I'm surprised we finished up early today!" The girl beamed while stretching her arms above her head and smiling.

"Yeah, don't get used to it," Cloud joked as his friend let out a laugh.

"I won't, but that's why we have to enjoy this!" She continued with a bright smile. But no matter what the situation was, she was usually always this way. Bright and cheerful, and ever the optimist. That was Aerith. For as long as Cloud could remember she was always bubbly and cheerful.

He was grateful that at least one of his friends resided in Edo Castle. Aerith was the Magistrates daughter. In fact her family had always lived in the Castle ever since she was born so she was used to it. But she would usually go into town because she had other family that stayed there. And when they were kids she would often play with the rest of them while she was there. So unlike Cloud she was used to this way of living and was able to "show him the ropes" so to speak. At least now they didn't have to endure the long hours of their private tutoring by themselves. As the children of High Officials they were expected to be above and beyond in their studies as opposed to other kids. It was sort of a hassle really.

"Hello," Aerith spoke as she bowed to a few people that they passed in the halls. Cloud only did a few times, he wasn't as focused on passerby's as she was.

They made their way through the Castle before heading out into one of the gardens. It was one that they came to often. Nobody really came out there and since they weren't always able to leave the Castle this was second best.

"Oh look my flowers are starting to bloom!" Aerith exclaimed while running over to a bed of small flowers that had just started to sprout pink petals. She had planted them here a while ago and made sure she came to water them daily.

Taking a seat on the ground beside the small fountain Cloud pulled out his sketch book before rifling through a few pages and landing on the one he wanted. He gazed over the garden briefly before looking back down to the paper. He had started to sketch this garden recently. Making sure to capture every little detail that he could. Every tree and stone and the many fountains around the area. To try to create on the paper just as clearly what he saw with his eyes.

"Don't forget to add these," Aerith began while casting a glance back to her friend who had already begun to sketch lightly in his book. Sometimes when Cloud would start to sketch he didn't like to be distracted, he was completely focused on what he was doing. And the look in his eyes, it was almost as if he were trying to mentally capture the picture before him _perfectly_ before he would even begin to draw anything.

Kneeling down to another part of the flower bed she pulled the bottom of her kimono closer to her so that it wouldn't drag in the dirt. Leaning forward she better inspected the flowers before smiling, they were coming along just fine.

"I missed you at the dinner last night," Aerith continued as she fiddled around with the delicate flowers.

"Oh…sorry my dad wanted me to study," Cloud explained while glancing over to the flower bed and beginning to draw the new plants there.

"Typical," Aerith replied with a giggle. "Though it would've been nice if you came. Then the three of us could've all been together for a bit."

"Three? Who else was there?" Cloud asked.

"Zack. For a while anyways, but then he left. But I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to him," Aerith explained while looking up in thought, "he seemed to want to leave though."

"He was just tired," Cloud replied instantly while stopping for a moment to look at his work so far.

"Did you see him last night?" Aerith asked curiously while looking back to the other.

With a nod Cloud continued with his work. "He dropped by after he left the dinner."

"I see," Aerith replied quietly.

Pausing Cloud glanced up at Aerith. She was partially turned away from him playing with the flowers. But he could still see a hint of a smile on her face. Though it was sort of more like a sad smile.

Letting out a sigh he glanced away. He hadn't said anything, and she hadn't either…but lately he was beginning to get the feeling that she had feelings for Zack. She would bring him up frequently and was always asking Cloud things about him. At first he didn't really think much of it, they were all friends, but…there was something different.

"I'm sure he tells you everything…right?" Aerith suddenly asked while turning quickly, her long brown hair whipping over her shoulder.

"As in?" Cloud asked quietly. He couldn't help but to feel a bit nervous about what she was getting at.

Giving a small chuckle she shook her head. "I don't know," she spoke before flashing a smile. "Let's see!"

Before Cloud could react she was knocking into his side playfully before peering down at his sketch.

"Wow, it's coming along great Cloud!" She started in awe.

"It's…there's still a long ways to go," he replied softly. She was saying something else now but he was only partially listening. What was it she wanted to really say earlier? It was going to annoy him. Was he just being paranoid? He often was when it came to he and Zack. It scared him more than anything to think of anything coming between them, but at times he just couldn't help the thoughts that would creep into his mind.

"I agree with her. I think it's very nice."

Aerith gave a small gasp of surprise as she and Cloud both turned around to see who the voice belong to.

"Oh!" Aerith began while scrambling to her feet and quickly bowing, "your Excellency so nice to see you."

The man simply smiled at her before turning back to Cloud who was now standing up as well.

"Hello again," Cloud spoke with a bow.

"Chamberlain Saito's son correct?" The Shogun asked with a tilt of his head.

"Yes," was the blonde's quick reply.

"Hmm," Hojo began, "I believe I saw your parents briefly last night but I don't recall seeing you there."

Cloud was silent for a moment. It wasn't unusual for the Shogun to go to the events, even if it wasn't for long. But he didn't expect for him to really notice his presence there or not. And he wasn't sure if not attending was in someway insulting to the man.

"Well no…I was studying," he finally spoke. _Yeah right._

"I see," the man began, "well I do hope you'll make time to attend the next event. In any case Chamberlain Saito never told me that his son was an artist," he finished while letting his eyes drift back to the picture.

"Oh no your Excellency, it's just a hobby," Cloud replied while bending down to retrieve the sketchbook from off the ground.

To his surprise the Shogun reached out and took the book from his hands. But not before catching his hand in his briefly. "A hobby?" He started, "hands like these belong to an artist." Letting his hand go Hojo skimmed through the book briefly before allowing a smile to appear on his face. "You're very good at what you do."

A compliment? From the Shogun? Cloud couldn't believe it. Only his friends and family had ever seen his art, but to have the Shogun see it and like it meant a lot. Maybe now his dad wouldn't think he was wasting his time with it.

"T, thank you," he began. He was suddenly at a loss of words and could only look back at the other.

"Excuse me," a soft voice broke in before the same woman that Cloud had seen earlier in the meeting room came up to them, "I know you wanted some down time but there's a matter that's come up that needs urgent attention."

Cloud glanced over to the blonde woman who had her head bowed at the moment. He knew she was some sort of official but he hadn't seen her around.

"Very well, " Hojo replied with a nod before the woman lifted her head and shot Cloud a look. He gave her a small bow in acknowledgement but that was it before the Shogun spoke up again. "It seems I have work to do. However Cloud I look forward to seeing more of your work. Perhaps sometime soon that can be arranged."

"Uh…yes. If that's what you want," the blonde replied still in shock as the man gave him a smile. He handed the sketchbook back to Cloud and then he and the other woman made their way out of the garden and into the castle.

There was a thick silence for a moment before laughter filled the air.

Glancing beside him he saw Aerith standing there with a huge smile.

"See Cloud! You can be as modest as you want but there is still no hiding your talent!" She explained while clapping her hands excitedly.

Cloud couldn't help but to let a smile slip out. After all, it was a pretty nice feeling to be acknowledged for what he loved to do.

* * *

It was pretty quiet in the Castle now. Everyone had returned to their chambers so there wasn't a lot of people roaming about like during the day. But it was actually nice to come out during the evening when it was quiet. Cloud didn't like when it was so crowded and preferred it this way actually.

He was just leaving out of the library now. He ended up staying there a bit longer than he intended and decided now that he should be getting back. His parents wouldn't really mind him being out now since they knew he was in the Castle, but still his mom worried easily no matter what. But then he guessed that was just how all moms were.

Making his way down the quiet halls he stopped briefly when he heard some laughter that sounded a bit far away. Curious he looked around before walking up to a window on the side of the hallway. He glanced down towards the courtyard to see a few figures. There was lanterns around the area so he could see them pretty clearly, and if not anything else he knew who it was by their voices.

The one who was laughing loudly was Kunsel. One of Zack's good friends that he had met since becoming a Samurai. And the other who was sitting down on the bench with the fiery red hair was Reno. Cloud could spot him a mile away, not just from his hair but from his laugh.

Frowning a bit Cloud looked around at the others. He knew them but wasn't acquainted with them like he was with Reno and Kunsel. And then the frown vanished from his face when he spotted Zack. He had just walked over beside Reno and taken a seat next to him.

What were they all doing just hanging out in the courtyard? And they were sort of loud, but Cloud figured nobody would say anything since a few Samurai were present. Pulling away from the window he thought for a minute. He really should've been getting back but he sort of wanted to go down there at least for a little. Just to say Goodnight to Zack if not anything else. He hadn't seen him since earlier in the day when he left from his house from sleeping over. And with that thought he turned and went down the opposite direction, making his out of the castle and into the courtyard. He opened the gate which made a loud creak and all of the chatter quickly died down. Walking further into the courtyard he finally came into everyone's view once he stepped into the illuminated parts of the area.

"Hi," he spoke softly, sort of feeling put on the spot.

"Well look who it is!" Reno exclaimed with a grin

"Hey!" Kunsel spoke up just as Zack stood up from off the bench. The others around simply went back to their previous conversations. They didn't know Cloud, but they did know he was a friend of the other three.

"What are you doing out here so late?" Zack asked while walking over towards the other.

"I heard you guys," Cloud replied with a raised eyebrow, "you're a little loud."

Zack gave a laugh before apologizing and then Reno quickly cut in.

"Or maybe," the redhead began while standing up a bit wobbly, "you just have sensitive ears blondie."

Kunsel reached out and helped him to sit back down before letting out a laugh of his own.

"Are you drunk?" Cloud asked.

"Yes," Reno replied perfectly normal, "yes."

Shaking his head Cloud looked back to Zack who simply shrugged.

"He's had a difficult day so we took him out for a drink or…few," Zack explained while walking away from the others and motioning for Cloud to follow.

Cloud just nodded at that response as he followed Zack. Reno often had "difficult days" and the blonde knew that was because of his occupation. Though it was never flat out told to Cloud what it was Reno did. Not even Zack would tell him. But he knew it was something important, and at the same time dangerous. If Cloud had to guess he would put it along the lines of a spy for the Shogun ate. Or even an assassin. But he had to keep it quiet. Nobody could know, not even Reno's family. However Cloud knew Zack was aware since he was a Samurai, but not even he would tell Cloud. He understood why though.

"I was going to stop by but I figured it was too late," Zack continued while looking beside him to the smaller one.

"Oh I wasn't even home, I was just heading back from the library now before I came out here," Cloud explained.

"Library? Can you take a break from studying for just _one_ day?" Zack asked while smiling at the other.

"I would but my-"

"Dad would get upset," Zack finished with a sigh. "Yeah I know. I wish he would ease up on you a little. You should really let me say something to him."

"Yeah that would be great, " Cloud replied sarcastically. No matter how annoyed Zack would get at Cloud's father at times, the blonde would never allow him to say anything. It would just make things too awkward and complicated.

"It would be," Zack shot back before giving a bit of a laugh. But he decided to turn the conversation so as not to upset Cloud. "How was your day aside from that?"

"Fine. Got out of tutoring early today. Aerith and I went out for a little, I worked on one my sketches," he explained while partially letting his mind drift back to the conversation that he and Aerith had. He was slightly wondering if he should mention it to Zack.

"Oh show me," Zack lit up while stopping in mid step to look at the other.

"What?" Cloud began while stopping also, shaking the thoughts from his mind. "Oh I don't have my book with me, I set it down at home already."

"Well don't forget it next time," Zack replied while reaching out and ruffling the others hair.

"It's not finished," Cloud started before he remembered his run in with the Shogun earlier. "That reminds me though. The Shogun said he liked my work."

"Huh?" Zack asked a bit confused while letting his hand run gently down the side of the others face.

"When Aerith and I were in the garden in the North Corridor, I was working on my sketch," Cloud explained, "and then the Shogun happened to come by there. It's weird, Aerith and I go there all the time and usually only a few people pass by. It's one of the quieter areas. But he was there and he came up and talked with us for a few and he saw my book and took a look through it. He said…I was good. It was…nice. Maybe I should tell my dad that right? I guess they're not that silly after all if the Shogun took a notice of it."

Zack was silent for a moment before furrowing his brows, "that is strange. You've never run into him like that before."

"I know," Cloud began with a laugh, "Actually I did last week too but just for a second. He didn't seem to remember I was the Chamberlain's son."

Last week, and now again? Zack didn't like the sound of this "chance" run in. Not in the slightest. Not when he knew…

"He said he wanted to see more of my work later. He got called away so I didn't have time to…but maybe at the next event or-"

"No!" Zack suddenly spoke. He wasn't looking at Cloud anymore but instead off in the other direction. Something that he tended to do when he was thinking hard about something.

"What?" Cloud asked, suddenly confused as to what his boyfriend was talking about.

Turning his focus back to Cloud Zack shook his head. "No. If he asks for you or tries to arrange some meeting, don't go. Stay away from him."

"Zack," Cloud started at a loss for words. Why was he saying this? "It's a good thing. If I can get him to recognize it then maybe-"

"I said stay away from him," Zack cut in, his voice stern and serious.

Cloud wanted to argue back but the look in Zack's eye made him not. "Why?"

Letting out a sigh Zack scuffed a hand through his hair before glancing around. "Because of his reputation."

"Reputation?" Cloud asked with a shake of his head, "I don't…understand, what's that supposed to mean?"

It wasn't something that was really a secret. A lot of people were aware of the Shogun's "reputation." But Zack wasn't surprised that Cloud was unaware of it. He didn't really get tangled up in the matters of the Officials and the things that went on in the Castle.

"He has an…infatuation, I guess you could say," Zack started while looking into blue eyes. The pureness that was held within them was noticeable to anyone, and Zack knew that a man like Hojo would surely fall for it.

Cloud remained silent as Zack stopped speaking and looked into his eyes. He blinked briefly waiting for Zack to continue.

"Or what I mean to say is," Zack continued after a moment, "it's not a secret that he likes your type."

"My type?" Cloud asked as his eyes widened slightly.

Zack nodded, "you're young, attractive…"

"Zack that's not funny!" Cloud snapped, becoming a bit irritated.

"It wasn't supposed to be," Zack replied seriously, "you think I would joke about this?"

"He's married!" Cloud continued.

"Because he has to be," Zack explained, "sooner or later he'll need an heir, so of course he needs a wife. But his interests are elsewhere. That's just to save face."

The Shogun? Really?

Cloud suddenly felt nauseous. Who knew that the Shogun had an attraction towards younger boys. He was mostly shocked, but more than that he was sort of freaked out if the man really was interested in him.

"So," Cloud began quietly, "what would he…" he couldn't finish his sentence, let alone even form a thought.

"He won't do anything to you," Zack quickly spoke up while wrapping his strong arms around the other. "Don't worry about that. I didn't mean to scare you, I just wanted to make sure you kept your distance from him. He seems overly interested, I don't want him to get the wrong idea."

Wrapping his arms around Zack he shook his head, "but he's the Shogun, so what could I-"

"You're the Chamberlain's son. He can't do anything forcefully since your family is of that status." Zack explained softly while squeezing Cloud tighter, "just avoid him and he'll get the hint. Okay? It's fine."

Now that Zack had enlightened him about this, he supposed he could see the signs. The way that Hojo was smiling at him the first time they met, he got a weird vibe from it but just dismissed it. Then the way he held his hand briefly when he took his sketch book from him. And also the week before when he was in the meeting room…the way Angeal broke in…

_Cloud, you should be leaving now though right? Don't you have lessons today?_

Did Angeal know? Did he perhaps get the feeling that Hojo was eyeing him in some way and was trying to get Cloud to quickly exit? He wouldn't doubt it. If a lot of people knew about the Shogun then he supposed it would be easy to pick up on.

A shiver went through him as he thought about how the man was probably thinking of him. He didn't want him to look at him anymore, or smile at him now that he knew he probably had some ulterior motive. Was he just hoping to lure him in? And just how many boys had he brought to his bed? He definitely wasn't going to be one of them!

"You're shaking," Zack spoke gently, "are you cold?"

"A little," Cloud lied. He wasn't cold at all, but he didn't want Zack to know that he was so freaked out about the information. It probably wasn't a big deal, the Shogun would eye him for a while and then move on once he realized Cloud wasn't interested.

Zack knew that Cloud was lying about being cold. After all it was spring and it was pretty warm out. But he wouldn't say anything, he didn't want to embarrass him.

Leaning down he placed a kiss on the boys cheek before speaking into his ear.

"It's really alright. You know I would never let anything happen," Zack whispered before following up with another kiss.

And that comment helped Cloud calm down a lot. Because ever since they were kids Zack had always looked out for him, been his protector. And it was that feeling of security that made him happy.

Zack was the only one whose arms he wanted to be in. Nobody else's. No matter what.

* * *

**A/N: And here is chapter 2! Slowly brining in different people who will start to tie into the story later. Wanted to focus this chap on ZackxCloud and their closeness, and the Shogun's budding interest in Cloud! And yea it's Hojo, lol I had to pick a character that would make people squirm at the thought of being with Cloud. If it was Sephiroth or something, I wouldn't get the same reaction! Lol. Anyways, thanks for the reviews everyone, they mean alot! Will post chap 3 soon! **


	3. The Unveiling

**Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters.**

**Note!: I've been getting some PM's about people asking about certain terms in this fic and what is or what it means. So any terms that will be used in here from now on that people probably aren't familiar with will be listed at the beginning. Hope that helps!  
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**Ogata Korin -Japanese Artist during the Edo Period (1658-1716)**

**Sake- Japanese alcoholic beverage made from rice.**

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"Cloud! Are you still asleep?"

A groan was the reply to that question as the blond slid down further under the covers. He was trying to shield his face from the blinding sunlight that had just spilled into his room from his mother pulling open the curtains.

"Would you get up," Natsumi began while pushing open the window also and taking a peek outside it to the gardens below. "It's a nice day out, you should go somewhere."

"Mom," Cloud growled in annoyance. He just wanted to sleep, who _cared_ what time it was. But his mom was chatting away and making herself welcome in his room when he didn't remember inviting her in at all.

"Don't mom me," she shot back while turning around and glaring at her son who was still tangled up in the covers. "I don't get you. You've been out of classes for the past few days since your tutor's been sick and all you've been doing is sleeping. You always say how you wish you had some free time and now that you do this is what you do with it?"

Not answering Cloud shifted in bed, his back facing his mom. She was right, he had just been in his room the past few days. But he didn't really want to go out now. Zack wasn't there. He had been sent out to Kyoto on some assignment and had already been gone for a week, and Cloud didn't know when exactly he would be back. Even though Zack said it wouldn't be long he knew he just said that so as not to worry him. But truth was not even the Samurai knew. And that's what Cloud hated about when Zack got sent away somewhere. If it were things nearby, that he didn't mind, but when they required travel that's what Cloud didn't like.

Opening his eyes when he heard a bit of rustling he turned back around to face his mom. She had just pulled the tarp off of his canvas that was leaning against the side of his wall and was now inspecting it.

"Mom," Cloud started again while sitting up a bit annoyed. He figured he may as well get up if his mom insisted on staying in there.

"It's blank," she stated while looking back over to him with a questioning look.

"Yeah, I haven't started it," he replied while sliding out of bed.

"Well why is it covered?" She asked.

Making his way over to the canvas he didn't say anything until he had covered it again with the tarp. "Because it's taunting me."

His mother was silent for a moment before she let out a laugh, "well now that you have some time why don't you start it? You've been talking about trying a painting, what's stopping you now?" She asked while placing a kiss on his cheek. She didn't wait for an answer before she began to make her way out of the room. "You missed breakfast but I'll make you something to eat," she finished while exiting the room.

Sighing he rubbed at his eyes tiredly for a moment before looking back to the covered canvas.

_'What's stopping you now?'_

His mom made it sound so easy. Even if…well maybe it was. But he just couldn't figure out _what_ exactly he wanted to paint. Unlike his sketches he wanted to do something different, something unique for his first real painting. Maybe he was being too picky but he just didn't want to sully the canvas with some crappy image. But then again it wasn't unlike him to put so much thought into his art. It may just be a "painting" to others, but to him it meant more.

"I'll get around to it," he mumbled before walking out of his room.

Once he got washed up and his mom made him eat something he decided that he should get out for at least a little bit. His dad was doing some work and wasn't there so he figured he could do what he wanted without worrying about him getting on his case.

His mom seemed pleased that he was finally getting some fresh air and she shot him a big smile before he left out. Unlike his father his mom didn't like him to be cooped up inside. It was sort of strange really how they differed so much in those aspects.

"Cloud!" A voice called out to him pretty much right after he had exited out of his quarters.

Turning he caught sight of the cheery brunette walking over towards him with a few bags in hand.

"Hey," he replied once the girl got closer to him.

"Where are you headed?" Aerith asked, but once she caught sight of his sketchbook she gave a nod, "to the garden?"

"For a while I guess, just wanted to get out," he answered while taking one of the bags off of her hands when he saw her struggling with them.

"Thanks, I went into town with my mom earlier and she got all this stuff," she explained with a smile, "let's go take them back to my place and then I can come with you!"

Cloud agreed and then they were off to Aerith's. She chatted away happily telling him all about her day so far and how she was enjoying the time off from lessons. Cloud didn't really say much of anything the whole way over to her place, just nodded in agreement for the most part or smiled. But it was always this way with Aerith, she was very talkative. Once they had set down the bags at her place they made their way back through the castle and out to their usual garden. In an instant Aerith ran over to the flowerbed to check up on her new flowers. And like always she gave a smile when she saw that they were still doing well.

Pulling out his sketchbook the blond flipped through a few pages before landing on the one he wanted. He took a glance at it and then around at the area. It seemed as if he was almost done, just a few more touches here and there. He wasn't sure how long exactly he had been working on this one but it was always nice to see something come to completion. Moving further into the garden he made his way over to the little bridge that spread over the small pond in the center. Glancing down into the clear water he looked at the fish that swam through it and the grayish and blue rocks that lined the bottom. Looking back to his sketch he furrowed his eyebrows in thought, he didn't really see any way to incorporate those things into the drawing.

"I saw Yuffie when I was in town today," Aerith's voice broke in as she made her way over to the bridge, tossing a pebble into the pond below them.

"Oh how is she? I haven't seen her in a while," Cloud explained while leaning on the rail of the bridge.

"Yeah she said the same. Last time she saw you was when you and Zack went to eat at the restaurant. She says hi though," Aerith continued while moving beside him and leaning against the railing also, peering down into the pond at the small gold fish. "I guess I'll have to relay that message to Zack later though. I wonder how long he'll be gone. Did he tell you?"

'_And here we go with asking about Zack again,'_ Cloud couldn't help but to think to himself, a bit annoyed.

"Well, he said it shouldn't be long but you know…there's no real way of ever knowing," Cloud explained softly. More to himself than to her but she nodded anyways before letting out a sigh.

"Well I hope it's not for long," she replied with a smile.

"Why?" Cloud quickly asked while shooting a look her way. The question just came out like a reflex really. Before he had a chance to even think he had blurted it out.

Aerith gave a shrug while placing her chin in the palm of her hand as she rested her elbow on the railing. "Oh, just cause," was all she answered with before she went back to watching the fish below them.

_Just cause?_ What the hell did that mean? Cloud wasn't satisfied with that response, but at the same time he didn't really want to question it further…and yet a part of him just had to know.

Letting out a small, forced laugh Cloud kept his eyes on the water. "Maybe it's just me but it seems like you've been talking about Zack a lot lately.

"What?" Aerith questioned while turning to look at the blond, "what's that mean?" She asked with a giggle.

_Why don't you tell me?_ However he just shrugged and kept his gaze downwards.

"Well," she started while looking back to the water, "I don't know I just.." trailing off for a moment she gave a smile before fiddling with the end of her hair in that "oh so girly way." And a pink hue began to tint her cheeks. "I guess maybe…" she continued with a sigh.

Cloud's eyes widened slightly and he felt his stomach drop. Just from the way she was acting he could clearly tell what her true feelings were, and he didn't have to actually hear the words from her lips to confirm it.

"Cloud!" Aerith exclaimed, seeming to snap out of her thoughts briefly as she pointed down into the pond, "your book!"

Blinking briefly the blond snapped his gaze back to the water and saw his sketch book floating above the surface. He must've let it slip from his hands when he was listening to Aerith!

"Shit," he cursed to himself while running off of the small bridge with Aerith right behind him.

Kneeling on the side of the pond Aerith tried to reach out to the already sinking book. "Aah it's too far away!"

Without a second thought Cloud made his way into the pond. Once he had gotten a few steps in and the water hit his waist he reached down and grabbed the book. Pulling it out it felt a lot heavier with the weight of the water dripping from it, and already he felt some of the fiber of the pages rubbing off.

Stepping out of the pond and beside Aerith he opened the book to inspect the damage. And already, in just that short amount of time, mostly all of the pages had been soaked through.

"Oh no," Aerith spoke quietly as she glanced at the soggy sketches.

That was great. _Just _great. Practically all of his work that he had done was in there, and now it was ruined! In just a minute like that it was all gone. Things he had been working on for so long!

"Maybe you can dry them out somehow," Aerith suggested softly when she noticed the angry expression across his face.

"That's not going to work! Everything would be wrinkled and faded even if they did dry," Cloud explained with a sigh before plopping down on the ground, not paying attention to his soaked kimono.

"I'm sorry Cloud," Aerith replied while taking a seat beside him.

Damn it! It was all her fault! If she hadn't been ready to confess her feelings about Zack he wouldn't have gotten so worked up. And that alone was worse than his ruined sketchbook. Aerith _did_ like Zack. He wasn't being paranoid after all! He knew something was up. Call it a sixth sense or something but he knew.

A gentle hand squeezed his shoulder and he glanced beside him to see Aerith giving him a sweet smile. He really had no right to be mad at her…he knew that. It wasn't her fault about the book…and her feelings for Zack. After all, she didn't know that she had fallen for Cloud's boyfriend. So how could he hold it against her? And honestly, Cloud was aware that she wasn't the first one to develop a crush on Zack. But all the other times those were just…"other" girls. It was easier to avoid them, but Aerith, she was their _friend_. It complicated things.

They remained there for a little longer before Cloud suggested they head back. For one he was getting a bit cold sitting there in his now wet kimono, and honestly, he just wasn't in that good of a mood anymore. But Aerith seemed to understand and shortly after they headed back into the castle. Aerith went off down the way to her quarters while Cloud headed back to his. He avoided everyone's gaze, he didn't feel like saying hi to anyone but he didn't want to be rude and make eye contact with them just to ignore them. So he just kept hold onto his ruined sketchbook and made his way throughout the place. However he must've been too caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even realize that there was someone right in front of him until he walked straight into them.

"Hey! Watch where you're going," the woman snapped before Cloud looked up at her.

"Oh I'm sorry," Cloud apologized with a bow. It was that blond lady again. He hadn't seen her since the last time he ran into the Shogun…

"Why are you wet?" The woman asked while scrunching her face a bit.

"Uh," Cloud began while glancing down at himself and his still partially dripping sketchbook.

"Elena," a man's voice broke in and Cloud turned slightly to see the Shogun approaching. "That is Chamberlain Saito's son remember? His name is Cloud."

"Ah," the woman apparently named Elena replied, "that's right."

"Your Excellency," Cloud spoke up with a bow once the Shogun had gotten closer.

"It's nice to see you again Cloud. Is everything okay?" The man asked while taking in the view of the other.

"Oh yes," Cloud replied with a nod, "excuse this. I sort of had to…fish something out of the pond earlier."

"Oh?" Hojo asked with a bit of a frown, "And what was that?"

"Just my sketchbook," Cloud replied while glancing down to the item in his hands. "I was careless."

Now that the others focus was turned to the book he could clearly see that it was ruined.

"I'm sorry. I know that was a prized possession of yours," the Shogun spoke while lifting his gaze to meet blue.

Glancing away quickly at nothing in particular Cloud nodded. He found it a little difficult to meet the other's gaze. He hadn't seen the Shogun since Zack had told him what he did about him. And he honestly wasn't sure how to act around him. He was the Shogun though so he still had to be respectful but he also didn't want to give him the wrong impression either.

"We should be going sir the Magistrate is waiting," Elena spoke up.

"Right," Hojo replied while adjusting his glasses, keeping his gaze fixed on the boy. "I suppose you should get going also Cloud, you don't want to catch a cold in those wet clothes."

"Yes," Cloud answered.

"I hope to see you at the dinner tonight," the Shogun said while turning to leave off with Elena.

_Dinner? Tonight?_

"Uh," Cloud started quietly before speaking up, "Your Excellency, I didn't realize there was a dinner this evening."

Giving the other a smile the man nodded. "Oh but there is. I hope you make it," he replied before turning back and continuing down the hall. Elena paused briefly and gave Cloud a look before catching back up to the Shogun.

* * *

"Tama!" Cloud called out looking around for his orange and white cat. He heard the sound of the bell jingling on her collar and looked up to see the cat running over towards him. Setting down her small food dish he scratched her behind her ears as she happily started to munch on the food. Moving back towards the kitchen he poured himself a glass of water. Even though he was really hungry and wanted to eat. But he had to wait to go to the dinner, and his parents weren't back yet…from wherever they were. He figured his dad was still finishing up with some work, but he wasn't sure where his mom had gone off too. She was gone once he got back earlier. But he didn't pay it much thought as his number one concern when he came home was too change out of his wet clothes. He had put his ruined sketchbook in an empty box and placed it inside of his closet. Even though it was ruined he couldn't bring himself to just toss it out. And there was a few sketches in there that he managed to salvage…just a few, but still it was better than nothing he supposed.

After a few more moments of waiting around a thought suddenly hit him. Maybe his parents had already left to the dinner. It wasn't as if they knew he wanted to go, and since he usually didn't attend unless he needed to they probably thought this time was no different. And had the Shogun not said anything about it he knew he wouldn't have gone. In fact he didn't even know that there was a dinner tonight, he hadn't heard his parents talking about anything. But it looked as if this was one of the ones he had to go to since the Shogun had directly told him he hoped to see him there.

A small part of him was still a little wary, but then again maybe he didn't have anything to worry about. Perhaps he was just showing interest in Cloud because he was the Chamberlains son. Maybe he had jumped to conclusions…or Zack had. He wasn't sure. But it was just a dinner and he had to go. The last thing he needed was for his dad to find out that the Shogun wanted him to attend and he hadn't.

With that thought in mind Cloud decided to just head down to the dinner hall. At this time he was sure his parent's had to be there already and he didn't want to arrive too late. Stepping out of his place he closed the door before making his way out of his quarters. It was pretty quiet by now, how it usually was by this time. But he knew the closer he got to the dinner hall that it would become more lively.

Another sound of footsteps caught his attention and he looked over to see that blond woman Elena approaching him.

"Good evening Cloud."

"Good evening," Cloud replied while giving her a bit of a questioning look. What was she doing here and not at the dinner?

"I'm glad I caught you. Where do you think you're going?" She asked while narrowing her eyes a bit.

"To the dinner," Cloud answered before giving her a bit of a look of his own. Where did she get off talking to him like that? He knew by know that she was part of the Shogun's council but he didn't know what her title was exactly. But whatever she was he still didn't like the fact that she seemed to be a bit rude.

"I'm here to take you there. Let's go," She explained while turning and walking off in the opposite direction.

_What the hell? _"It's fine, I don't need an escort."

Stopping in her tracks she turned around with a small smirk on her face. "I think you would get lost."

Not replying Cloud just gave her a confused look. Was she trying to be sarcastic or was she talking about something else entirely?

"It's not the dinner hall that you're heading too. The Shogun wanted a more private dinner," she explained while taking a few steps closer to him, "so that you two could become better acquainted."

Sucking in a breath as soon as the woman uttered those words Cloud felt a shiver run through him.

Elena's smirk seemed to widen slightly as she noticed the tension that seemed to appear suddenly in the boy before her. "Are you alright?"

Shaking his head a bit Cloud spoke up. "Why…what reason would he have…for that?"

"I suppose he's interested in your art. It seems to have caught his attention, he thinks you're very talented," Elena explained before waving her hand for him to follow. "Come on let's not keep him waiting."

No. No, there was no way. He couldn't go meet the Shogun now…by himself! Definitely not now. Not after what he knew. This couldn't all be some coincidence right? He was starting to feel nauseous as each minute passed by and he couldn't help but hear Zack's words from a couple weeks ago play in his mind.

'_If he asks for you or tries to arrange some meeting, don't go. Stay away from him.'_

"I uh," Cloud began while trying to think up some excuse quickly. "I don't think I can. My parent's don't know and they would worry when they saw I wasn't at home."

"Chamberlain Saito is in a meeting. Along with a few other council members. I presume it'll be a while. And I can send a message back to your mom," Elena explained, not at all missing a beat.

What was he going to do? What _could_ he do? Was he even _able_ to turn down an invitation from the Shogun? Wouldn't he get in some kind of trouble? And if his father found out he did, wouldn't he be angry? Zack said that he just had to avoid him, but what was he supposed to do when Hojo actively sought him out?

Even with all of those things running through his mind, somehow his feet began to move on their own and he was following Elena. He felt like…he really had no choice. If he flat out turned down the invitation, would the Shogun hold some grudge against him and his family? Would his father's position as Chamberlain on the council somehow be in jeopardy? He didn't know. He didn't know what to do and he felt confused as hell. Even though he wanted nothing more than to turn right back around and go home and lock himself in…he just…couldn't. There was too many shades of gray in what he thought was just black and white.

_Calm down. Maybe it's nothing. _

He wasn't sure how long they had been walking, or to what part of the castle they were in now, but shortly after Elena had come to a stop and he did also. Looking around he realized that they had indeed ventured off into another area of the castle, a part that he wasn't really familiar with. They had entered to what seemed to be like some type of quarters, and were now standing in front of two dark red doors that had some design painted in black on them. It was actually pretty interesting, and if Cloud hadn't been so nervous he might've taken the time to really look at it.

There were two Samurai on each side of the door, they gave a nod in acknowledgment to Elena, but aside from that they were still. Cloud looked at them closely, but he didn't know either of them.

Pulling open one of the doors Elena gestured for Cloud to go in. He hesitated briefly at the door but then went in after a moment longer.

There was a long hallway before them. Lined with a strip of red carpet down the middle and two long mirrors on each side that had solid gold framing. On one side of the hall there was a tall vase, that looked like it was made of ivory and had the image of a tiger carved into it. There was a few small plants along each side, along with small tables with even more vases placed on top of them, all of the finest quality.

Elena walked ahead of him and he followed still glancing around the hall and taking in the different objects and pieces of art.

"Sorry I'm late," Elena spoke once she reached the end of the hallway, stepping further into the other room.

Pausing briefly when he heard the Shogun's voice he let out a breath that he hadn't even realized he'd been holding.

Turning around to look behind her Elena waved Cloud to come closer.

"I have to be checking back in on the meeting. I'll return later," she spoke to the Shogun just before turning around and giving the blond one last look before he finally stepped further into the room.

There was a large sized table in the middle and at one end the Shogun was sitting, a smile on his face once he caught sight of Cloud.

"Cloud, I'm glad you came. Come, have a seat," he explained while gesturing to the spot next to him.

Walking over to the table Cloud slowly took a seat on the soft cushion that was placed on the ground.

The sound of a few items tinkering in the background caught his attention and he looked over to see a small woman walking over to the table with a tray in hand. She set down some tea in front of them and gave Cloud a warm smile.

Just knowing that someone else was in the room calmed him down a little and the lady appeared to be nice. He returned the smile before giving her a small bow.

"Dinner will be ready in just a few," she explained before disappearing out of the room, leaving just Cloud and Hojo alone.

"I thought it would be nice to finally get to talk more without being pressed for time," Hojo explained while fixing his attention back on the blond.

"Oh," Cloud replied softly while turning his gaze towards his cup of tea. "I uh," he began while trying to think of the right words to say. "In all due respect your Excellency, I don't understand why you would want to go out of your way to talk with me."

An amused laugh came from the man and Cloud slowly lifted his gaze towards him.

"Why wouldn't I want to talk to you? I'll admit your art caught my attention and I was curious to know more about an artist like you. It's rare to come across someone as talented as you, right here in the castle that is," Hojo explained.

The lady appeared again right after that carrying out a few dishes and setting them on the table before them.

"Thank you," Cloud spoke, trying purposely to avoid responding to what Hojo had just said to him before.

The lady smiled at him before turning to the other. "Is there anything else I can get for you your Excellency?"

"No thank you Keiko," Hojo replied while reaching for his chopsticks. "You may take off the rest of the evening."

"Thank you," she spoke with a bow before she turned and excused herself from the room.

Cloud felt his heart sink as soon as he heard the sound of the door close.

"Are you nervous being here Cloud?" The Shogun asked after placing a bite of food into his mouth.

Was he supposed to answer that honestly?"

"Please don't be. Enjoy your dinner, Keiko is a great cook," Hojo explained before reaching out for a small bottle that was on the table. "Would you like sake?"

"Please," Cloud quickly replied. If anything, maybe that would help take the edge off. But he wouldn't drink too much…he needed to be _very_ aware of what was going on. After the drink was poured Cloud picked it up and took a sip. Damn it was strong, a lot stronger than some of the others he had before. There was no doubt in his mind that this had to be a very expensive brand. But then again sake was strong for him in general. He didn't know how Zack and Reno could throw back so much of it without being affected quickly.

"It's a shame your sketchbook was ruined, there was more I would've liked to see," Hojo explained while taking a drink of the alcohol as well.

"Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't get to show you more than just the one," Cloud replied.

"Well, I'm sure there will be others," Hojo answered back just as quickly.

"Possibly," Cloud began with a nod while letting his eyes take in the place, "can I ask where exactly we are?"

"Ah, that would be in my quarters. One part of it anyways, this however is more of a guest setting," the man explained.

"It's nice," Cloud decided to say as he kept his eyes roaming the area. There were a lot of paintings in this room, and different pieces of art sculptures. He couldn't help but to admire the setting.

"I knew someone like you could appreciate it," Hojo replied while taking another bite of his meal.

Cloud didn't answer to that but shortly after Hojo had begun talking about something else. At first Cloud was pretty short in his responses, but after a while as they continued with their dinner he became a little more relaxed. And surprisingly he was able to talk to the Shogun quite normally. He began to feel his paranoia fade and he started to feel silly that he thought something bad would happen. It seemed like the Shogun was being honest when he said he just wanted to get to know him better. They had finished their dinner by now and were still sitting at the table talking.

"May I?" The blond asked once his eyes fell onto a painting on the other side of the room.

"Of course," Hojo replied with a nod.

Rising up from his seat Cloud crossed the room to closely inspect the picture. It was only about three different colors, orange, brown and red. But with just those three colors it was able to create a whole other range of shades. An auburn that was used for a tree, and the red for the leaves. And the orange provided for a nice background, almost like a fading sunset when mixed with the brown. It was probably the most simple picture to many people, but to him it was great.

"Do you like it?" Hojo asked.

Cloud glanced back when he realized that the other's voice came from right behind him and he realized that the Shogun had come over to look at the picture as well.

"Yeah," Cloud replied while looking back to the artwork, "Ogata Korin does nice work."

Hojo smiled, "I see you know your art."

"I guess yeah," Cloud answered just as he felt a hand placed on his shoulder which caused him to tense up instantly.

"What made you become interested in it?" The Shogun asked, however his voice took on a bit of a lower tone this time.

"I," Cloud began uncomfortably. He kept his eyes forward, in some way he was afraid to look back, but he really wanted to shrug the hand away. "I don't really know…I just always have been…since I was a kid."

"I see," Hojo replied while letting his hand leave from the others shoulder to run down the length of his arm gently before grasping his wrist loosely. His thumb gently moving back and forth in a caress.

It became way too close for comfort now in Cloud's opinion and he felt that sense or paranoia creep back on him. His mind was racing insanely now with trying to figure out something to say to get him out of there, and at the same time it felt as if his throat had closed up on him. But he quickly shook off the shock and nervousness and spoke up.

"Anyways," he began shakily, clearing his throat immediately once he noticed it, "It's getting late so I really should be heading back now."

"Hmm" Hojo mused while leaning down a bit lower so that now his breath was right against the blonde's ear, "Is it late? I still think it's rather early."

Cloud quickly pulled away before turning around to look at the other. The look in the man's eyes could only be described as lust and longing and that made a sense of urgency arise in the blond to get out of there as quick as possible.

"No I uh, I think I really need to be going," Cloud explained, all the while already moving away from the other.

Giving a smile the Shogun straightened while giving a brief nod of his head. "Very well then," he finally conceded, "I suppose it has been a long day for you."

"Y, yes, it has," Cloud replied once he was at what he deemed a safe distance.

"Well then I'll see you back to your quarters," Hojo began while taking a step forward.

"No!" Cloud blurted before shaking his head quickly, "I mean no your Excellency, there's no need to. You've done enough this evening for me so thank you. But I'll be fine getting back. Thank you for the dinner"

"It was my pleasure," Hojo replied with a smile.

"Have a nice evening," Cloud spoke quickly with a bow. And just as fast he had turned and made his way out of the room, not leaving any time for the Shogun to reply or second guess his decision. And he wasn't about to stop and look back for anything.

* * *

Sitting there in his room he continued to stare at the gift that he had received. It had arrived early this morning, before he had even awoke. But once he had stepped foot out of his room and walked out into the living area his mom had pointed to the package. She said a "blond haired" woman had came to drop it off personally for him and asked Cloud who could've sent it to him. He didn't even really remember what it was he told his mom in response to her question, but he quickly picked up the package and took it back to his room. Before he opened it he pulled the small red envelope that was stuck on the top of it off and pulled out the note from the inside.

'_I enjoyed your company last night and look forward to our next meeting. I hope you enjoy the gift.'_

It wasn't signed, but it didn't need to be. Cloud knew right away who it was from, and in a way he was a slight hesitant to even open the item. But after a few moments he finally unwrapped it and pulled out the present. It was a brand new sketchbook. Far better than his last. The pages were sturdier, it was a hard cover unlike his old flimsy one, and it had way more pages than in his last. Not to mention he had even included different pencils and inks for him also.

He had gotten it earlier in the day, and yet here he was still just looking at it. What the hell was going on? He couldn't accept it, a gift like this…well Cloud knew it was expensive, it was like the kinds _real_ artists used. It would've taken him forever to save up to get a sketchbook this nice. And while he liked it, and wanted to use it…he couldn't. Not now when it was perfectly clear that the Shogun was really interested in him. He couldn't accept his gifts or his kind gestures any more. He knew there was an ulterior motive behind it.

A tapping on his door caught his attention and he quickly grabbed the sketchbook and began putting it back in the packaging.

"Mom I'm not hungry, I'll eat later," Cloud called through the door, figuring his mom was trying to get him to have some lunch since he missed breakfast again.

"Well in that case would you like a visitor?" A voice he knew all too well asked from the other side of the screen.

"Zack?" Cloud asked while instantly perking up and running over to the door and sliding it open.

And sure enough there was Zack, giving the blond his best smile. "Hey!"

"When did you get back? How did you get in?" Cloud asked a bit in surprise.

"Late last night, and your mom let me in just before she stepped out. She said she was going into town for a while," Zack explained, "I thought I would surprise y-"

But before the other could finish his sentence Cloud had thrown his arms around his neck and held him tight.

Zack gave a bit of a chuckle before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's waist and pulling him close against him. "Yeah I missed you too."

"I'm so glad you're back," Cloud spoke quietly before pulling back briefly to place a soft kiss against the others lips.

"Me too," Zack replied with a grin before leaning in again and sealing the blonde's lips in another kiss. Cloud instantly melted into it, it felt like it had been forever, and well to him it really was forever. But it seemed like that kiss was all he needed to make him feel better. All of his worry, stress and anxiety seemed to began to fade away. The crazy day he had before slipping farther into the back of his mind. There was no Aerith or Hojo, just he and Zack. The way it was _supposed_ to be, just them.

"You had a safe trip?" Cloud asked once they broke their kiss, his eyes staring up into Zack's.

"Yeah, everything went well," Zack replied while still keeping his arms around the others waist.

"You sure? No injuries?" Cloud asked, and already his hands were running over the other as if to check for himself. He had seen Zack come back with injuries before, and it was one of the things that always made him worry, whether or not the Samurai would be hurt in some way. And he never felt completely at ease until he had Zack right there in front of him, so that he could physically touch and see that he was okay.

"Of course not!" Zack beamed while lifting Cloud up off the floor playfully, "stop worrying about me! Tell me how your week has been?"

Placing his hands on the sides of Zack's arms Cloud looked away. "Fine…nothing important to tell."

Zack kept his gaze on the other, his smile fading a bit as he studied the smaller one. He could usually tell when something was bothering Cloud, for one he could never look him in the eye if he was lying or he was uneasy about something. And he could practically feel him tense up in his arms just now, something he would never do otherwise.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Zack asked, his voice becoming serious as he placed the other back down on the ground.

"Nothing," Cloud replied while turning his gaze back to Zack.

"You sure?" Zack pressed on as he felt Cloud pull away from his embrace.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Cloud replied while walking over to the package that was on the ground and picking it up before placing it into his closet, "you want to get out of here for a while?"

Glancing down to the floor Zack's eyes landed on a small envelope that fell from the package when Cloud picked it up. There was a piece of paper sticking out of it and it seemed like it had something written on it.

"Oh you dropped something," Zack began while picking up the envelope.

"What?" Cloud asked while turning around after he slid his closet door closed. Once he saw that Zack was now holding the envelope in his hands he felt his stomach drop. He hadn't planned on letting Zack see that, or even telling him about any of what happened…not now anyways. "Give that to me," he said quickly while crossing back over towards the Samurai. But it was already too late, Zack had read the short note and now was just staring at the paper, probably trying to make sense of it.

"I enjoyed your company," Zack began while reading the note out loud before lifting his gaze to meet the blonde's. He held a confused expression on his face but his tone was nothing but demanding. "What the hell is this?"

* * *

**A/N: And here is chapter 3! Unfortunately Zack had to be gone for most of this one cause I needed those two crucial moments with Aerith and Hojo and well, he couldn't be around. But now that that's knocked out of the way the story will start to pick up from here! Now that the foundation is pretty much laid down. And the Hojo stuff has just began so...I hope you guys don't squirm too much! Anyways, thanks for the reviews everyone please keep them coming, they are my motivation! Will have chapter 4 up soon!**


	4. Desire

Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters.

**Some words to know!**

Hiyoko Manju- Chick Buns, cake like confection (shaped like baby chicks) with a sweet center.

Shoji Screen- Room Dividers, common in Japan and China.

Obi- Top most sash worn with various styles of Japanese clothing.

* * *

It felt like they had been standing there just staring at each other forever when in fact it had probably only been about a minute. Cloud didn't know _what_ to say and he knew there was no way to change the topic now. No, definitely not. Not with the look Zack was giving him, there was no avoiding the situation. Of course he could just tell the truth, but he didn't want Zack to get angry. After all he had specifically told him to stay away from Hojo, and here he went going off with him…alone! That just wasn't good for a few reasons.

"It's nothing," Cloud finally said while reaching out and taking the note away from Zack. It was the only thing he could think of to say, and in all honesty he just wanted to act like it never happened. Even though he knew that was impossible.

"_Nothing_?" Zack echoed while narrowing his eyes a bit. His tone clearly said that he wasn't buying it at all and he wasn't about to let up.

"Yeah…it's just, I mean it's nothing serious to worry about," Cloud further explained while turning away from Zack and crumpling up the note before tossing it on his end table carelessly.

"Cloud," Zack began quietly while taking a step closer to the other. Turning back around the blond slowly lifted his gaze back to meet his boyfriends, but he couldn't look for long and he quickly averted his eyes again.

"Can we just forget about it?" Cloud asked pleadingly, still not looking directly at the other.

Zack was taken aback by that. Usually it would never be this difficult to get Cloud to talk to him, and if he ever did lie it was about something minor and he would always instantly tell Zack the truth later. It had been that way since they were kids, they never kept things from each other. But now…what was this?

"Sure," Zack started as he the felt frustration begin to rise inside of him, "it's no big deal. I just read a note to you from someone who apparently had a nice time with you some evening while I was gone, and hope's to see you again soon. But that's fine, why would I want to know about that? There's nothing strange at all about it," he finished ranting before turning around preparing to exit out of the room.

"Zack wait!" Cloud instantly called after the Samurai while finally snapping his eyes towards the man's retreating back. He crossed the small distance to the other before reaching out and grasping a hold of his arm tightly. "Don't say it like that." It was almost as if Zack thought that he was out with someone else…well yeah he had been. But not like that! And it wasn't even as if he wanted to go! But he wasn't sneaking around behind his back. Was that what his boyfriend was thinking? Just that thought alone tore his heart in two. He would never betray Zack that way…he knew that didn't he?

Turning back around Zack glanced down into wide, almost sad blue eyes. And at the moment he felt a little bad for getting upset. He hated seeing that look in Cloud's eyes. But he only bit out that remark because he just wanted to know what was going on. He didn't like being left in the dark.

Letting out a sigh Cloud just decided to give in. At the rate this was going Zack was going to completely take it the wrong way, and he wasn't about to have him thinking something else entirely.

"It's…it's from the Shogun. I got a gift from him this morning because," pausing briefly he searched for the words he wanted to say before just saying it plainly, "I met with him for dinner…last night."

It seemed to take Zack a minute to process the information but once it sunk in his eyes widened in surprise. "You what?"

Cloud just remained silent while looking back at the other nervously, too afraid to say anything from fear of what Zack's reaction would be.

"Cloud I told you to stay away from him," Zack started before Cloud quickly jumped in.

"I know!" He began, "but I had to go! It's not that easy to just…blow off the Shogun!"

"Yeah it is!" Zack instantly shot back, "You just…stay away from him. How hard is it to just not be around him?"

"Very hard!" Cloud shot back just as quickly, "Zack you don't understand, you say it like it's easy but it's not! I live here you don't! So while you may be able to easily avoid him, I can't! Because at the end of the day I'm still here while you get to go back home…away from this place!"

Scuffing a hand through his hair Zack mumbled something under his breath that Cloud didn't quite catch but he knew it was something not so pleasant directed towards the Shogun.

"That may be true," Zack started, more calmly this time, "but still it's a huge place."

"Well I don't know," Cloud replied with a shake of his head and crossing his arms over his chest, "I just happen to run into him sometimes. It's not like I'm trying to go out of my way to see him."

"Yeah," Zack responded quietly with a brief nod, "but _he_ may."

Turning his focus back to Cloud his eyes softened before he spoke up quietly, "Did anything happen?"

"No," Cloud quickly answered with another shake of his head, "No. Nothing like that. I just stayed long enough for dinner and then I left. And I really wasn't even going to go but I just…I was thinking about my dad you know? I didn't want his position on the council to be in jeopardy because of me. And if I declined his offer…well I just wasn't sure, I felt like I had to. Not to mention I didn't know it was a private invitation until the last minute."

Zack let out a sigh of relief. So that old pervert hadn't tried anything…_yet_. And while Zack was glad that the man didn't do anything previously, he still didn't trust him at all as far as his intentions with Cloud. And he knew that if he kept trying to lure Cloud in that he would eventually try to make his move, and Zack would be damned if he would let that happen. He knew that the Shogun was relying on Cloud's naiveté and loyalty to his father to keep stringing him along this way.

"I'm sorry," Cloud said quietly, "I didn't really want you to know because I didn't want you to worry or get angry. I know you told me to avoid him…but really it's difficult to do that."

"Cloud," Zack started before reaching out and pulling the smaller one into his arms. "I know. And you don't have to apologize, it's not your fault. But look…don't hide things from me okay? You can tell me anything you know that."

Nodding against Zack's chest Cloud wrapped his arms tighter around him. He knew Zack was right, he had always been able to talk to him about anything. But he had just gotten back and Cloud really didn't want to upset him with this but, well, he guessed it was inevitable. And call him selfish but a part of him did want Zack to know, because at least that way he knew Zack would be watching out for him. And that made him feel safe, because he had to admit he was more than a little creeped out by the Shogun now. It wasn't flattering or endearing at all.

"I shouldn't have gone I know," Cloud spoke up softly, "but I just thought maybe I was being too paranoid. That maybe he wasn't interested but…I guess I was wrong. I don't know I just got a weird feeling being there with him."

"It's okay," Zack said soothingly while gently running his fingers through golden hair. He could hear the regret and fear in Cloud's voice and he was cursing himself for not being there. He shouldn't have went away so soon after he had found out that the Shogun had been eyeing Cloud. "Don't worry I'm here now. I'll make sure he keeps his distance."

"Okay," Cloud replied while closing his eyes and just enjoying the feeling of being in the others arms. There really wasn't anything else that could calm him down this way, and it worked every time.

"What was this…_gift_ anyways?" Zack asked curiously while glancing over to the closet that Cloud had hurriedly put the package in earlier.

"Oh," Cloud began while pulling back slightly to look up at the Samurai, "it's a sketchbook."

"Another?" Zack asked while raising his eyebrow questioningly.

"Well, actually, my other one got ruined," Cloud explained while pulling away from Zack and making his way back to the closet. "That's kind of how the whole thing got started in fact."

"What happened?" Zack continued to question as he watched Cloud rummage through some of his belongings in the closet.

"I was in the garden with Aerith," Cloud spoke up while pulling out a box and setting it on the ground, "and I somehow dropped it in the pond. And by the time I got it out it was already soaked through."

"You dropped it?" Zack asked while moving over towards the box and kneeling on the ground to open the lid. And sure enough inside there was Cloud's sketchbook, wrinkled and cracked. He pulled it out and opened it up and began to flip through the now flimsy and faded pages. "That doesn't sound like something you would do, you're always careful with this."

"I know," Cloud answered with a sigh, "but I was…a little distracted," he finished while pulling out the package and sliding the new sketchbook out from it's confines. "It was a little bit after I left the garden that I ran into the Shogun. And so he saw my old sketchbook when it was all wet. Anyways, that's when he told me about the dinner. But I thought it was an all resident dinner at the time. He said he wanted me to make it. So, long story short I went and then this morning I got this."

Setting the old sketchbook down in the box Zack carefully took the new one from out of Cloud's hands. It was definitely nice and easily to tell that it was expensive. It made the older one look like a scrapbook really.

"Wow," Zack said while flipping through the blank pages.

"Yeah," Cloud replied while sitting down beside Zack, "so I was going to…I don't know. Give it back? Just tell him thanks but I can't accept a gift so extravagant."

"He'd just send it back. Besides, don't do that. It'll just mean that you'd have to see him again," Zack explained while putting the sketchbook back in the packaging.

"So," Cloud began while furrowing his eyebrows, "you want me to keep it?"

"Well don't use it," Zack replied while giving the other a look. Once he saw the confused look on Cloud's face he broke into a grin. "Don't worry, trust me," he said with a wink before standing to his feet and offering his hand to Cloud. "Didn't you say you wanted to get out of here for a while?"

"Uh…yeah?" Cloud answered, still a bit confused about what was going through Zack's mind.

"Let's go then! We'll worry about this later!"

* * *

"Hey don't eat them all!" Zack exclaimed while batting Cloud's hand away from the box of sweets.

"Me? You're eating another one too," Cloud explained while reaching back into the small box.

"Fine just don't take all of them," Zack added while Cloud laughed a little before rolling his eyes slightly. He wasn't surprised though, he and Zack both had a sweet tooth so whenever there was sweets around they would always go for it.

"There's one more. Split?" Cloud asked while looking back to his boyfriend who was licking a bit of the crumbs off of his fingers.

"Okay," Zack replied as Cloud picked up the last of the Hiyoko Manju and split it in half. Or well not really in half so much, but he was starting to get sort of full so he didn't mind giving Zack the larger piece.

Zack beamed before shoving his half into his mouth while Cloud ate his a little less barbarically, instead opting to take a small bite of it. Zack may not have been very graceful when he was pigging out but Cloud still thought it was cute none the less.

They had picked up the box Of Hiyoko Manju when they left and went into town earlier. Zack wanted to go out to eat so they dropped by Yuffie's family restaurant. It wasn't too busy in there this time and so they were able to visit with their friend for a while. She told them that she had talked to Aerith not long ago and how she told her to tell them she said hi. Cloud remembered Aerith telling him about that but he had forgotten to tell Zack. But once Yuffie mentioned Aerith it just reminded Cloud of the whole thing about her _liking_ Zack. At first he wasn't going to say anything, but it was bothering him and so as soon as they left from the restaurant he decided to just tell Zack everything. After all Zack had said that he didn't want him to hide things from him, and Cloud didn't intend to.

Zack listened carefully to everything, at first not really sure about if it was true. But once Cloud told him about how Aerith was acting that day they were in the garden he seemed to believe it a little more. But he assured Cloud that everything was fine, that it was just some sort of puppy crush and that Aerith would get over it. And Cloud hoped Zack was right, he really did. But he wasn't sure.

Before they had left out of town though Zack had insisted that they go into a few stores. So after going into about four places Zack found what he was looking for, and while Cloud was busy looking at other things he purchased the item. It wasn't until they left out of the store that Zack handed the bag to Cloud with a wide grin on his face. And when Cloud opened the bag he couldn't help but to let a smile spread across his face.

A sketchbook.

"I know it's not as fancy as the other you got but…it's still nice right? Can you use that one instead?" Zack asked while keeping his blue eyes fixed on the other.

Cloud thought it was too sweet. He could care less how much it cost, the fact that Zack got it for him made it priceless in his opinion. And if they hadn't been out in public in front of so many people he would've thrown his arms around his neck and kissed him. But instead he just smiled and said of course and thank you. And that seemed to brighten Zack's spirits.

They had just gotten back to the castle not too long ago and were now just lounging around in Cloud's room, talking and depleting the box of sweets. The sun was just now starting to set, casting an orange hue across the sky and filling the room in an orange glow. A cool breeze wafted through the room from the open window, making the atmosphere all that more comfortable.

"I knew we should've gotten two boxes," Zack whined while looking down to the now empty box of Hiyoko Manju.

"You can't be serious" Cloud said while looking over to Zack. But from the look on his face he could tell that he was serious. "One box is enough for now, I'm full."

"I guess" Zack replied with a sigh while leaning back on the bed.

"I'm surprised we didn't run into Aerith," Cloud commented while leaning back on the bed as well, staring up at the ceiling.

"Yeah, I usually see her when I come to the castle," Zack answered.

"That's because she secretly stalks you," Cloud mumbled.

"Hey," Zack started while turning his head to look at the other, "don't be mean," he finished with a laugh.

Cloud smiled, "Sorry," he replied while turning his head, "it's just…weird I guess."

Reaching out Zack let his fingers trace the side of Cloud's face gently. "Yeah," he began softly, "but you have nothing to worry about. So why stress over it?"

_Nothing to worry about?_

Cloud wanted to believe that…but more times than not he couldn't help but find himself thinking about negative things when it came to he and Zack. When he thought about it, they seemed to have so much stacked against them and it only seemed to get more difficult as time went on. Like now, they had the added factors of the Shogun and Aerith. It just seemed like…something was pulling them apart, or _trying_. It wasn't easy like when they were little, they could be together without a care in the world. Now, they had to sneak around, their time was always limited and Cloud didn't like that, he hated it. But then he guessed he didn't expect anything more. After all there wasn't much that could be done to change anything.

Zack could practically see the gears turning in Cloud's head. He knew without a doubt that Cloud was worrying about things. He tended to do that a lot. Ever since he moved into the castle he was always a bit concerned when it came to the two of them. Even though Zack always assured him that everything was fine, that there was no way that anything could cause a rift between them. But he guessed it was just something that Cloud would have to realize on his own.

Sitting up suddenly with a bit of a stretch Zack hopped up before crossing over leisurely towards the window. He leaned his elbows on the windowsill and gazed out at the surroundings below them. The different gardens and a few different corridors of the castle.

Shifting in bed Cloud turned so that he was now completely facing in Zack's direction. A small smile crept onto his face as he watched Zack gaze out the window in content. It wasn't unusual for Zack to get a bit restless, but Cloud knew that he was enjoying just looking out at the view and enjoying the fresh air.

The blond really didn't need to do much, he was happy just being there with Zack nearby. That's all he ever really needed. Just the small simple things were what made him happy. And moment's like this were what he longed for, what he held closest to his heart. As small and as trivial as they may be to others, it was everything to him.

"Did I tell you about Kyoto?" Zack asked, still keeping his gaze on the outside.

"No not really," Cloud replied while pushing himself up to a sitting position. He leaned over to the side of his bed and picked up the bag with his new sketchbook, the one that Zack had gotten for him earlier in the day. He listened to Zack as he started to talk about how Kyoto was while flipping open to a blank page in the book. Reaching over he grabbed a pencil that was on his end table beside the bed. He didn't even really think about what he was doing, he just sort of went with it. His eyes flicking back up to Zack every so often to take in his posture and the angle of his body before dropping them back to the paper.

Zack had pretty much come to the end of his story about Kyoto and he realized that Cloud had remained silent throughout most of it. Turning his head he was half expecting to see that the blond had fallen asleep. But instead he saw him sketching in his book, his eyes trailing over the paper as he made small adjustments here and there.

"Were you even listening to me?" Zack asked with a smirk.

"Every word," Cloud replied, still keeping his focus on the page.

Zack nodded. He knew that Cloud was telling him the truth. He had this way of tuning things out around him when he started to draw, but if it was something he really wanted to hear he would still pay attention. However he just didn't really talk back.

Glancing up Cloud blinked. "Hey don't move."

"Hmm?" Zack asked a bit perplexed.

"Don't move, go back to how you were," Cloud explained.

"Oh," Zack began while turning back around and looking down into the garden where a few kids were playing. "You're drawing me?"

"So it seems," Cloud replied softly while going back to his work.

The kids in the garden were playing hide n seek and Zack couldn't help but to smile as he watched them play. Had it really been that long ago when he and his friends used to play that? He could still remember it all even if at times it really did seem like a distant memory, if not a different life altogether. How long they had been playing he wasn't sure, but after some time he heard a woman's voice calling for them to come inside, and the kids reluctantly went inside with a few whines of their own. Glancing up he did realize that the sky had darkened more and the moon was starting to make its appearance.

"Okay, you can move now," Cloud's voice filtered through the air.

"Done?" Zack asked while turning around to now see that Cloud was on the opposite side of the room lighting one of the oil lamps.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Cloud replied with a sheepish smile. His face becoming illuminated by the faint glow of the lamp light.

"I didn't mind," Zack spoke while making his way towards the sketchbook that was set on the bed. Picking it up his eyes scanned the page in awe. It really hadn't been _that_ long that he was looking out the window. But in that amount of time Cloud had been able to capture a lot in great detail. Not just Zack himself, but the window and also the Shoji Screen in the background.

"Wow," Zack began at a loss for words.

"What do you think?" Cloud asked while nearing the other as he lit the lamp closest to his bed.

"Cloud it's…_really_ good," Zack finally said as a smile spread across his face.

"Really?" Cloud asked a bit shyly.

"Are you kidding?" Zack began while turning his gaze towards the other, "It's amazing."

Letting a sheepish smile appear on his face Cloud shrugged, "I just drew what was in front of me," he explained while glancing down to the picture in Zack's hands, "but I think the model is much better."

Looking beside him to the blond who still had his gaze on the sketchbook momentarily, he let his smile morph into a sly grin.

"Oh?" Zack asked while closing the book and placing it on the end table.

Looking up into equally blue eyes Cloud nodded, a slight blush on his cheeks that didn't go unnoticed by the other.

"Well," Zack began while sliding his arms around Cloud's waist, "the model has still got nothing on the artist," he purred before leaning forward and capturing the blonds lips in a tantalizing kiss.

Running his hands up muscled arms Cloud wound his arms around the others neck, standing on tip toes to pull himself closer. Zack's hold around his waist tightened and Cloud let out a pleased moan at the feel of their bodies pushed closely against each other.

Their tongues twined and got caught in an intimate caress as they continued their passionate kiss. There wasn't a battle for dominance in this, it was just a shared kiss, not to be rushed or messy. It was an extension to words that could never exist. Feelings that they couldn't describe even if they tried. And with this, they didn't have to. This spoke way more volumes and told each of them what that they needed without uttering so much as a single word.

Cloud was starting to swoon as the minutes passed by and he found himself clutching onto Zack tighter.

It wasn't much longer after that that Zack gently lowered them down to the bed, placing Cloud beneath him as he hovered above him all the while still keeping the kiss in tact.

Trailing his hands down the others back he shifted a bit causing them to break their kiss. Cloud was breathing heavily now and he let his eyes flutter open as he brought his hands around to now rest against Zack's chest.

Glancing towards the end table that was by the bed Zack leaned over and blew out the light from the small lantern. It darkened the room considerably, and the only light that was left was the faint glow of the small oil lantern on the other side of the room. That and the soft moonlight that was spilling in through the window, and Zack thought the moonlight only enhanced Cloud's beauty.

Blue eyes looked back into his, almost seeming to sparkle as they caught the light. And though it was darker now Zack could still clearly see the pink blush that had stained Cloud's face and he couldn't help but to smile before leaning down and pressing another kiss to his lips. He kept it short before making his way downwards, pressing kisses to his neck with an occasional nip here and there.

A soft sigh escaped from Cloud as he let his eyes fall shut again, his hands roaming across Zack's chest of their own accord before snaking their way into raven hair. Every kiss that Zack placed on him ignited him and made his heart race. Every touch and every caress. It was almost too much and yet not enough.

"Zack," Cloud breathed softly when he felt a hand ghost across his abdomen. Moving back up Zack kissed his cheek and then his forehead before making his way to his other cheek. It was then that he noticed Cloud blindly seeking his lips for another kiss and he quickly obliged, meeting Cloud halfway and pressing his lips back to his. He was rewarded with another one of those soft moans that always made his heart beat increase. Just that sound alone threw him through a loop, but that combined with the sensation of Cloud's lips against his only drove him further. But now Cloud was pulling him closer, his arms winding around him tightly as he arched his body up into the one above him.

Zack gasped into the kiss, breaking the contact only briefly before crushing his lips back against the blonde's. He felt slender fingers moving across his back, caressing and clutching at him as they continued their heated kiss and Cloud arched up into him again.

_That_ was something new, sure Cloud squirmed around when they would fool around, but not anything like this. Not that Zack disliked it at all, but it made keeping control of himself a lot more difficult.

He reached down placing his hand on Cloud's slightly bent leg. Running his hand down going over the curve of his knee and trailing down the rest of it before stopping just above his ankle. Then he reversed his motion, going up this time and sliding his hand under the Yukata and feeling each and every inch of warm, smooth skin. He had just passed over the other's knee, pushing the garment up further before resting his hand on the outside of his thigh. He was just about to move his hand to the inside of his thigh before he stopped himself.

What was he doing? This was definitely crossing some line wasn't it? No, he was sure that it was. After all they had never really even gone…well this far. And the fact that Cloud had allowed him to touch him like that…

Zack didn't know. But he figured that maybe Cloud was just getting caught in the moment. And the one thing he didn't want was for that to happen when Cloud wasn't really ready for it. That was the last thing he wanted.

Pausing briefly he untangled himself from their kiss before placing his face in the crook of the others neck and placing a soft kiss there.

He could still hear Cloud's heavy breathing and he could feel the fast race of his heart beneath him.

"Zack?" Cloud asked once he realized that Zack was just pretty much resting against him. "What's wrong?"

Pulling himself up slightly Zack looked down into questioning blue eyes that seemed to be somewhat glossed over. A look that Zack had never seen in Cloud's eyes before. He moved his hand away that was resting on the blonde's thigh and scuffed it through his hair.

"Nothing nothing," Zack replied with a smile, "I just thought…well, I think we needed a break."

Cloud was silent for a moment as he kept his eyes fixed on the one above him and then he was looking off to the side at nothing in particular.

Zack's smile fell as he studied the blond. Usually Cloud would be the one to stop them when things got to heated, so really, it wasn't anything unusual. But they would just kind of stop, they wouldn't really say it so much. But Zack wasn't sure what was running through Cloud's mind now, it seemed like it was something though. Did he say something wrong?

"Hey," Zack started while leaning down a bit so that he was just inches away from the other's face.

Cloud instantly turned his head looking back up into Zack's questioning face. He gently placed his hands on his shoulders, not once breaking their eye contact.

"You didn't have to stop," he finally admitted quietly.

"What?" Zack asked, seeming a bit confused.

"You didn't have to stop," Cloud repeated, his blush starting to come back in full force. "I mean…I didn't mind."

Looking back down at the other Zack was silent for a moment. He didn't want to misinterpret the other's words, but…it seemed like he was saying what he _thought_ he was saying. But still. "Oh," he finally spoke up, "I just…I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"No, it's okay," Cloud replied while sliding his hands back into the silky strands of dark hair.

Blinking briefly Zack continued to press on. "So do you…you mean…" he trailed off while Cloud pulled him down further so that his forehead was resting against his own.

"Yes," Cloud answered softly.

"Oh," Zack said again as it finally all clicked for him. "Are you sure?"

Cloud didn't answer. Instead he just leaned up the short distance to place his lips over his boyfriends. He figured that actions spoke way louder than words, and at the moment he wanted nothing else then to feel Zack kissing him again, to feel his touch again. Only this time without interruption.

A part of Zack was wondering how long Cloud had been thinking about this. Because he knew it wasn't something that he just decided right here and then. Definitely not. But he wasn't about to ask now and further kill the mood. He was just glad that he finally would be able to share this experience with the blond, because he couldn't deny that he had thought about it a lot.

It didn't take them long before they had lost themselves in the kiss as their hands began to roam again. Reaching down Zack slid his fingers under the obi that was secured around the blond's waist. He had just begun to undo the sash when he suddenly stopped at the same time that Cloud froze.

"Did you…hear something?" Zack asked while pulling back briefly.

"Was that the door?" Cloud asked while trying to regain his breathing.

Zack was just about to reply before the sound of a woman's voice broke through the air. He could faintly make out what she was saying and it sounded as if she was calling for Tama.

Groaning Cloud placed his hands over his eyes. His mom was back. _Now_. He couldn't help but to curse his luck. Usually she would be out at some event during the evening if his father was out late at work. But tonight of all nights, she _had_ to come back early.

* * *

Walking through the halls Cloud made his way down towards his father's office. His mom had sent him out to take his father something to eat since he had left out in a rush and had missed breakfast. She wasn't too happy about him working so much lately. Cloud had noticed it too but he guessed that there wasn't much that his dad could do about it. And as of recently he had been working all through the day and coming home late in the evening. And even then he was sometimes bringing work back with him. At times Cloud wondered why his dad would even want to be Chamberlain, even if it was an honor he had to wonder if it was worth it. But he guessed that's where he and his father differed.

Although he was thinking about far more things than that. As he continued to make his way into the castle he couldn't help but to find his thoughts drifting back to the night before. He and Zack…everything was going so _perfect_ until they were interrupted. Once his mom had got back they really had no choice but to stop. And that was what he meant, that was what he hated. Even when he and Zack were alone…they really weren't. There was always someone around somewhere, somehow. And as time went on that grated on him. The only place that he could think of where they wouldn't be interrupted was the lake. For the most part none of their friends went there anymore, and throughout all the chaos over the years that spot had remained exclusively there's. But still.

Letting out a sigh he cursed his luck. Having to stop so abruptly the night before was killing him. And he knew it annoyed Zack too. However he just tried to comfort the other, letting him know it was okay, there was no rush. That there would be another time. And even if that was true, it was still frustrating as hell. But Cloud knew Zack was right, there was always next time.

"Cloud," a voice spoke up snapping the other out of his thoughts quickly.

Looking up the blond saw Zack approaching, a smile on his face once he locked his eyes with his.

"Hey," Cloud replied while smiling a bit shyly. He felt a bit weird because of the thoughts that were just running through his head.

"Where are you off to?" Zack asked once he had stopped in front of the other.

""My dad's office. My mom wanted me to bring him something to eat," Cloud explained while gesturing to the small bag he was holding, "what are you doing here now?"

"Angeal wanted to see me, he said it was important," Zack answered.

"Oh," Cloud began with a nod, "well, I don't want to keep you then."

"I don't mind sparing a minute for you," Zack said before grinning at the other.

Smiling even wider Cloud shook his head as he felt his face heat up.

"What are you doing later?" Zack continued with a tilt of his head.

"Nothing," Cloud answered with a shake of his head, "I still have time off from lessons."

"Good," Zack started. He was just about to say more before the sound of footsteps echoing in the hallway caught the two's attention accompanied by a woman's voice.

"Ah Zack there you are," Elena began while approaching the two.

"You needed me?" Zack asked a bit confused.

"No, Angeal was looking for you and Kunsel I believe," Elena explained.

"Oh right, I got the message. I was heading there now," Zack replied with a nod.

"Alright," she responded before turning his gaze towards the blond, "Cloud how are you?"

"I'm fine thanks," Cloud answered with a brief bow.

"You received the gift alright I hope. I dropped it off to your mother," Elena explained while narrowing her eyes slightly.

"Oh, yes I got it…thank you," Cloud added a bit uneasily.

"Good. I'm sure the Shogun will be glad to hear that," Elena began with a smile, "I'll make sure to tell him. I'm actually meeting him now in the Chamberlains office."

"What?" Both Cloud and Zack asked in unison. Cloud shifted his gaze to look at Zack who still had his gaze focused on Elena.

"Yes, it's been a very busy morning," Elena began with a sigh, "anyways, I need to go. And Zack you'd better go and see Angeal, it sounded important." And with that spoken she continued down the hall.

"Zack," Cloud began a bit unsure.

"It's fine, your dad will be there," Zack assured the blond while turning his gaze back towards him. "Just get in and get out okay? Don't linger."

"Okay," Cloud replied with a nod, still a bit nervous.

"Alright. It'll be fine," Zack continued while glancing down both ways of the hall and noticing it was empty. He quickly leaned in a pressed a kiss to the others lips before pulling back and looking into his eyes. "I need to go, but I'll see you tonight okay?"

"Yeah," Cloud answered with a small smile. They said quick goodbye's before they parted and Cloud was wishing that Zack could've went along with him. But he was right, his dad was going to be there along with Elena. And even the Shogun wouldn't be so bold as to attempt something with others present.

Finally stopping in front of the office door he knocked softly before the door was quickly pulled open.

"You again," Elena stated with a blink.

"Yeah," Cloud began while narrowing his eyes a bit, "I won't be long I'm just dropping something off for my dad."

"Oh," Elena replied while stepping aside to let him enter.

"Cloud?" Saito asked from the desk he was sitting at across the room.

Looking up he saw the back of the Shogun sitting on the opposite side of the desk. However he turned around when he heard the blonde's name spoken.

Walking over towards the desk he paused briefly before bowing and saying a greeting to the man. Then he set the bag down on the desk in front of his father.

"Mom wanted me to bring this for you. She doesn't think you've been eating right," Cloud explained.

His father gave a bit of a chuckle before nodding, "I see. Thank you."

He was just about to excuse himself before the Shogun spoke to him.

"It's nice to see you again Cloud," Hojo began while adjusting his glasses. All the while keeping a smile on his face.

"As well as you your Excellency," Cloud replied, keeping his gaze averted from the man.

"I know it's rare to see my son," Saito began, "you'll have to excuse him, he doesn't really like to attend the social events."

"Well that's quite alright," Hojo said with a laugh, "those kinds of things aren't for everyone."

"I suppose not," Saito replied while shifting his gaze to his son, "I don't really mind so long as he's staying focused on his priorities. Right Cloud?"

"Yes," Cloud instantly replied. He hated that the topic of conversation was about him and he wanted nothing more than to switch it to something else.

"Priorities?" the Shogun asked while leaning forward a bit in his chair, "and by that I assume you mean his art."

"Hmm?" Saito began while turning his focus back to the man, "his art?"

"Don't be modest Saito, your son is a great artist. That's where his priorities should lay," Hojo explained calmly.

"Oh," Saito began while giving his son a questioning look, "I wasn't aware that you knew of his…hobby."

"Yes, I had the pleasure of looking at some of his work. He's very talented," Hojo continued while shifting his gaze back to the blond who was now looking at the ground.

Saito seemed a bit surprised from the comment of the Shogun if not anything else. Turning his head he looked back to Cloud before clearing his throat. "Cloud?" He spoke up catching the boys attention. Once he looked in his direction his father nodded his head towards the Shogun and it was then that the blond understood what he was saying.

"Oh, thank you for the compliment your Excellency. It's an honor," Cloud said while his father smiled.

"You're quite welcome Cloud," was Hojo's smooth response.

"Excuse me," Elena spoke up from the corner of the room where she was standing with a clipboard in hand, "Chamberlain Saito I'm missing some things here. Did you get a chance to talk to the Magistrate yesterday? I should have a signed document from him here."

"That's right, he was busy all day yesterday with cases. I never got around to it. I'll go see him now," Saito explained while rising from his chair.

"I'll go with you. I need to make sure this is done right," Elena explained.

"I guess I'll be going now, I'll let you get back to work," Cloud said to his dad.

"Cloud, please stay while they are away. I could use some company," the Shogun explained while gesturing to the seat beside him.

"Ah yes Cloud stay here. You don't have lessons today so you have time," Saito added while patting his son on the shoulder and crossing the room.

"Um dad I-"

"It won't take me long your Excellency," Saito said to the Shogun before giving Cloud a look that seemed to say drop it.

"Oh no please take your time, I'm in no rush," Hojo responded right before Saito and Elena exited the room.

Cloud remained unmoving and quiet after the door had closed. He still kept his gaze downwards but he could practically feel the Shogun's eyes burning into him.

"Have a seat Cloud," Hojo finally spoke up while shifting a bit in his chair.

Looking up Cloud glanced at the seat beside the other. It took him a minute before he finally walked over and took a seat next to the man. There was at least enough distance between them, but still he wished it was more.

"It seems as if your father doesn't realize how important your art is," Hojo began while looking up in thought.

"Oh well…he just doesn't want it to dominate over my studies," Cloud explained while staring ahead at the desk.

"Hmm," Hojo mused while turning his focus onto the blond, "well in any case I hope you don't let that deter you. And if there's anything else that you need just let me know."

_What? _There was no way he was serious. Turning his gaze towards the other and noticing the look in his eyes Cloud could tell he _wasn't_ joking.

"Oh well that's really nice of you but…it's fine. I mean you've already done enough," Cloud started quietly.

"Ah you mean the gift. I hope it's of use to you." Hojo said with a smile.

"It's really nice your Excellency, but it's too much. You didn't have to do that," Cloud explained with a shake of his head.

"Of course I didn't have to," Hojo replied with a chuckle. "But I _wanted_ to. You deserve it."

Hesitating briefly the blond glanced away before speaking softly. "You're too kind your Excellency."

"I suppose with you I am," the man replied with a smirk while edging closer to the other.

Noticing the subtle movement Cloud quickly rose from his seat. "Forgive me, but I think I really should be going."

"Why the rush? Your father said you weren't bound to a schedule today," the Shogun began while rising from his seat as well and stepping in front of the other.

"Well yes but my mom was expecting me back by now. I was helping her with some things today," Cloud explained, conjuring up a lie as fast as he could.

"What a good kid you are," Hojo replied while reaching out and brushing a few of the blonde's spikes away from his face, "however I think she would understand given the circumstances."

Taking a step back Cloud bowed, "Even so, I really shouldn't be here bothering my dad at work. And you all seemed to be in some sort of meeting. So if you'll excuse me."

"Cloud," Hojo continued while taking another step forward to close the gap that Cloud had just created between them. Finally Cloud looked back up seeing the Shogun looking down at him. He seemed to have a bit of an amused look on his face and that didn't help calm the blond at all. He was looking for an opportunity here to make his quick exit, but every attempt he made the man seemed to not be accepting it this time. Not like he did when they had met for dinner the night before. "I don't want you to leave quite yet."

Cloud seemed to be taking a step back without even thinking but he stopped when he hit the corner of the desk. He looked back for just a moment before he was turning his focus back onto the other. What could he say? What could he do? The Shogun had made it very clear that he didn't want him to go, and if he were to walk out now the man definitely wouldn't be happy.

"I…ok I…" Cloud was at a loss for words but it didn't seem to phase Hojo at all. He had already stepped up closer to the smaller one and was now peering down at him as Cloud kept his gaze on him carefully.

"Perhaps I should just be forward," Hojo began before placing his finger under the blonde's chin and tilting his head up slightly, "You should know that I've taken an interest in you. In more ways than one."

"What?" Cloud couldn't help but to ask as his eyes widened. Even though it had been brought to his attention earlier on that the Shogun was probably interested in him, he didn't think that he would flat out say it to him, if at all. And definitely not so soon! He didn't know how to react to that.

"Yes," the man replied as a small smile spread across his features, "I would have to be a fool not to have." He brought his other hand up and gently stroked the side of the blonde's face with his fingers.

He quickly turned his head, keeping his gaze downward as he felt the others hand continue to caress. "Your Excellency I-"

"What?" Hojo asked while turning his face back towards him and leaning in a bit.

Cloud tried to pull away but the man caught his wrist in a tight grasp and pulled him closer to him.

"Don't be scared, I won't hurt you," the Shogun explained quietly before leaning in again once more. All Cloud could do was close his eyes tightly and hope and pray that this was some sort of a dream…or nightmare. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest and a cold chill went down his spine. He felt so _utterly _and completely helpless. And as much as he wanted to fight back more, he knew that wasn't an option.

"What's wrong? You won't accept this?" Hojo asked while stopping just inches away from the younger one's lips.

Shaking his head violently Cloud refused to open his eyes. He could the man's breath against his face so he knew he was right in front of him. "I can't," he spoke up quietly with a bit of a waver in his voice.

"Is that so?" Hojo asked with a smug look on his face, "well don't worry…you will," he finished softly right before closing the distance between the two.

* * *

**A/N: And there is chapter 4! I wanted to make it a well rounded chapter without cramming too much stuff in at once. So some things that I was going to put in this one I'm going to hold off until the next chapter...it just works better for me that way! Anyways, so it was a lot of Zack and Cloud stuff at the begining but of course Hojo is going to pop back up! It's never that easy, haha. There's still a few more characters that will be in here that haven't been introduced yet, but they will be soon! Well I hope to have the next chapter up soon**! **Thanks for the reviews and feedback so far everyone, I enjoy hearing you guys take on this. Until next time!**


	5. Taken

**Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters. This is written for entertainment only…yeah.**

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'This isn't happening, this isn't happening.' At least that's what his mind kept chanting, but…it _was_ happening. And each second he felt himself become more and more repulsed, wanting nothing more than to break away from the man that now had pulled him tightly into his arms.

Cloud squirmed, pushing at Hojo, trying to break away as a whimper escaped from him. This was so wrong, this wasn't supposed to happen. He should've been back home by now, not trapped here in his father's office with…him!

Breaking the kiss briefly Hojo leaned closer towards the boy's ear, speaking in just a whisper.

"What good is it to fight Cloud?" He asked while lightly biting at his ear, "It'll be easier if you just submit."

Shaking his head Cloud still kept his eyes closed. He couldn't bring himself to open his eyes, to see what was actually really going on before him. It felt like a nightmare and he was just praying to wake up. Waiting for the relief of seeing that it wasn't in fact a reality.

"Please stop," Cloud spoke up, his voice shaky and weak as he felt the man now licking at his neck. He couldn't help but to cringe, and he heard the Shogun let out a bit of a chuckle. Was he enjoying this? Enjoying Cloud's misery? His discomfort?

"Now why would I want to do something like that?" Hojo asked while capturing the blonde's lips in another kiss. He didn't hesitate to swipe his tongue against the younger one's lips, looking for entry in which Cloud did not want to allow. But the man just continued on, forcing his way in and allowing his tongue to run along the inside of his mouth.

A tear leaked out of the corner of Cloud's eye as he seemed to lose all hope. What in the hell could he do? Nothing. That was it. Because nobody in their right mind would defy the Shogun. Especially not just some kid. As much as he was screaming on the inside…he couldn't do anything but just accept his fate…right? It seemed like it….

He wasn't sure how long it had been, although it seemed like it had been an eternity. But finally Hojo broke the kiss, although keeping his close proximity. Cloud didn't dare to look up to try to meet his gaze; he had barely even opened his eyes. He just wanted it to be done, wanted the Shogun to leave him alone.

"If I send for you tonight, will you join me?" Hojo asked while grasping the blonde's chin and tipping his head up slightly.

Cloud's eyes widened and he froze momentarily. Did he really just ask him that? What would happen if he said no? But he definitely couldn't say yes either, he _wouldn't_ say yes.

Shaking his head he lowered his gaze not seeming to be able to keep his eyes on the man for long. The Shogun had asked him but was it really a choice? Or was it a demand?

"You shouldn't worry Cloud," Hojo spoke again while letting his hand trail up the boys arm, "I won't harm you in any way, that's not my intention."

"Your Excellency," Cloud began quietly. He didn't really know what to say. There was so much running through his mind that he was having a difficult time trying to think up a sentence. And the fact that he was actually being confronted with this was still a bit too much for him.

A sound at the door caused Hojo to quickly let go of the blonde as he cast a glance over to the doorway. He stepped away putting a little distance between them before looking back to Cloud and flashing him a smile.

Suddenly the door pulled open and Elena and Saito stepped inside caught up in conversation of their own before directing their focus towards the others.

"Forgive me if I took too long," Saito said to the Shogun as he made his way back towards his desk.

"Oh it wasn't long at all, don't worry," Hojo replied before turning his gaze back towards Cloud, "and besides Cloud is good company."

The blonde had kept his head down when the two had come in. Wiping away at his eyes for any stray tears that may have remained on his face. He didn't glance up when Hojo had spoken but instead turned towards his father.

"I really should be getting back home now," Cloud spoke up, his voice sounding even a little different to him. It was strained with nervousness he was sure, along with a whole mess of other things. He only hoped that his father didn't pick up on it.

"Yes," Saito replied with a nod as he took a seat at his desk, "you should before your mom worries." Looking up at his son he raised an eyebrow at him. Cloud's face seemed to have reddened and he continuously kept his focus down on the ground. "What's the matter?"

Snapping his head upwards Cloud quickly shook his head, "nothing," he answered quickly. "I just…really need to get home."

Saito kept his gaze on him firmly for a moment before giving a brief nod. He supposed he wasn't really surprised by Cloud's behavior. He was often shy around others and Saito guessed that leaving him alone with the Shogun had gotten him nervous.

"I'll try not to be home too late tonight," Saito continued, "tell your mom thank you for lunch."

"I will," Cloud replied before bowing briefly. And then, with much hesitance he turned to the Shogun. Even though he would've liked to just bolt out of there without a single acknowledgement to him, he knew that wasn't possible. Especially with his father present, he would not tolerate such disgrace.

"Your Excellency," he spoke softly before giving a bow.

"It was nice to see you again Cloud," Hojo replied with a smile, "I do hope I will be seeing you _very_ soon."

The comment was subtle and probably went unnoticed by Elena and Saito but Cloud _clearly_ understood the underlying meaning. Turning he made his way towards the door where Elena was still standing by. She gave him a bit of a smirk before looking back towards the clipboard in her hand. Cloud didn't know what it was about her, but she rubbed him the wrong way. But he could care less about her at the moment, he didn't give her much of an acknowledgement as he pulled open the heavy door and exited the room.

He didn't dare look back; he just continued to make his way down the hall heading back towards his home. His heart felt like it was beating a million times a second and he wanted nothing more than to be back at home where he could lock himself up in his room alone and try to block out the whole afternoon. Even though he knew…that couldn't happen.

* * *

"Aww come on Zack! Just a few drinks!"

Zack laughed as he declined the offer for the fifth time. "Sorry not tonight, you two go and have fun!"

"But it's not the same without you," Kunsel added with a grin.

"And besides, it was your turn to buy!" Reno chimed in.

"Oh I get it now," Zack replied as Kunsel let out a laugh.

"Well that doesn't matter, I'll pick up the tab tonight! Just come on," Kunsel continued as they walked closer towards the entrance of the castle.

"I'm going to pass," Zack continued as Reno let out a whine.

"Why what are you going to do?" Reno asked curiously.

"Well I already had plans to meet up with Cloud," Zack explained. And that was all that he really had to say. Both Kunsel and Reno nodded. It wasn't unusual; Cloud always took precedence over anything else when it came to Zack. Reno was used to it, ever since they had been kids it was always Zack and Cloud. And even though all of them were friends, Zack and Cloud had their own friendship that none of the others did. That best friend thing that seemed to be unbreakable.

"Is that so? I feel like I barely get to see you at all anymore," a feminine voice broke in causing the three to turn towards the sound.

"Aerith," Zack began with a grin as the girl approached them.

"I heard you were back," Aerith replied with a smile before wrapping her arms around him once she was close enough, "how was Kyoto?"

"It was fine, I just got back a couple days ago," Zack explained while returning the embrace.

"I'm glad to hear that," Aerith started while pulling away and turning her focus towards Reno and Kunsel, "going out for drinks again?"

"Of course!" Reno beamed, "and now that Zack's officially blown us off I don't see any reason why we need to hang around here any longer," he explained while heading towards the entrance.

"I didn't blow you off," Zack shot back with a laugh.

"Whatever, just remember next time the bill is on you, don't try to weasel your way out of that!" Reno shouted back, not bothering to stop his stride.

Kunsel shook his head before waving goodbye to Zack and Aerith and then he was catching up to Reno as they exited out of the castle.

"Those two," Aerith spoke up with a giggle.

"Yeah I know, never fails right?" Zack asked jokingly while Aerith nodded.

"So then," Aerith began while tilting her head slightly, "what did you and Cloud have planned?"

"Well nothing in particular," Zack began with a shrug, "I just told him I'd drop by later tonight. I've been here basically all day so I thought I'd visit before I left."

"Oh," Aerith replied with a nod, "mind if I tag along? My parent's are out for the evening and I'm pretty bored."

Zack paused briefly. He wasn't really sure how Cloud felt about Aerith right now. With him being so adamant that Aerith liked Zack, Zack wasn't sure if he would be upset with Aerith being around. But at the same time they were all still friends. And surely Cloud would get past whatever worries he was thinking. It shouldn't be a problem…

"Yeah, sure," Zack replied with a grin. Aerith smiled back at him and within a moment they began to make there way through the castle and towards their friends quarters. They conversed casually along the way, Aerith updating Zack on what had been going on with her while he had been away. He told her a little bit about Kyoto and she seemed to be really interested in it, questioning him about each and every little thing. He couldn't help but to smile at her enthusiasm. Aerith was just the same as always, bubbly and happy. Zack wasn't sure that he noticed anything different in her that would tell him that she was interested in him. Maybe Cloud was just being paranoid. He knew his boyfriend worried easily after all.

Finally they arrived at Cloud's place and Zack knocked on the door and within a few minutes Natsumi had slid the door open.

"Hi Auntie!" Zack began with a grin as Natsumi's face lit up.

"Hi sweetie," Natsumi spoke while pulling the other down to place a kiss on his cheek. She smiled at Aerith before gesturing for them to come inside. They had just stepped in and removed their shoes before Tama ran up to Zack's side, her little bell tinkling along the way. He reached down to pick her up as Natsumi began to chatter away.

"Have you two had dinner?" She asked while stepping into the small kitchen.

"Oh yes I'm fine," Aerith replied while following Natsumi into the kitchen.

"Me too," Zack answered as he placed Tama back down on the floor.

"Are you sure Zack?" Natsumi asked while peeking her head from out of the kitchen. "Cloud and I already had dinner but there is still a lot left. I made sure to make a lot since Saito still needs to eat also once he gets back from work."

"Yes I'm sure. Thank you." Zack replied while smiling at the woman. Natsumi was just as bad as his own mother, constantly making sure that he was fed properly. Not that he was in any way complaining about it though.

"I'll help you with the dishes," Aerith offered as she moved about the kitchen.

"Oh thank you," Natsumi replied with a smile before turning back around to look at Zack. "Cloud is in his room sweetie. Maybe you can get him to come out or something."

"Oh?" Zack began while raising an eyebrow, "why is something wrong?"

"Well no," Natsumi began with a shake of her head, "it's just he's been in there all day. He came out for dinner but only because I made him. He wasn't very talkative though. I think he may be working on a drawing."

Nodding Zack glanced down the hallway. Maybe he _was_ working on a sketch, sometimes he didn't like to be bothered when he was really in the zone. He looked back over to the two women in the kitchen and saw that they were already talking and laughing as they did the dishes. He made his way down the hall before stopping in front of Cloud's door before knocking on it lightly. There wasn't a response after a few moments and so Zack knocked again, this time a bit more loudly.

"Cloud?" He asked through the door. It remained quiet for a minute longer but then he heard some shuffling on the other side of the door before it slid open slowly.

"Hey," Zack began while looking down to the blonde and noting his disheveled hair and tired eyes. "Were you asleep?"

Cloud ran a hand over his face before shaking his head, "no, I was just laying down," he explained softly before ducking his head out of the room a bit when he heard voices down the hall. "Whose here?"

"Oh," Zack began while looking down the hall, "Aerith came with me."

"Aerith?" Cloud asked while turning somewhat hazy eyes onto the Samurai.

"Yeah, well I ran into her on the way here and she wanted to come," Zack explained. "That's okay right?"

Cloud was silent for a moment before letting out a sigh. "I don't care," he mumbled while turning and heading back into his room. He flopped back down onto his bed, leaving Zack standing at the doorway.

Zack slid the door open further before stepping inside and sliding it closed behind him. The room was completely dark except for the little bit of moonlight that spilled into the room. He wondered why Cloud didn't have any of the lanterns lit as he stepped further into the room making his way over towards the bed.

"Cloud?" He asked while taking a seat on the edge of it. Reaching out his hand he gently ran his fingers through soft blond spikes. "I'm sorry if you're upset about Aerith being here."

"I told you I don't care," Cloud snapped.

That was more than enough to let Zack know that Cloud was obviously upset. He couldn't help but to mentally kick himself for his decision. He should've thought it through more clearly. Even if he didn't personally think that Aerith was interested in him, it apparently bothered his boyfriend and that was all that mattered.

Sitting up on the bed Cloud looked towards Zack with a slightly guilty look on his face. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, "I didn't mean to-"

"No," Zack cut in, "_I'm_ sorry. I should've just made up something. I shouldn't have brought her here without talking to you first."

"It's not that Zack," Cloud replied while looking into the others eyes, "I'm not upset about that. It's not that at all."

He leaned forward resting against Zack as he buried his face in his chest seeking the comfort that he so desperately needed.

Zack immediately placed his arms around the other holding him close to him. "Then what's the matter?" He asked softly.

Cloud let out a shaky breath as he wound his arms around the Samurai. There was so much going through his mind, so much that he was worried about. So much that he _wanted_ to tell Zack but…in a way, he was sort of scared to. For a few different reasons. One he didn't know how Zack would react once he found out about the Shogun, and two he was sort of embarrassed about the whole thing.

"Everything," he finally mumbled while clutching at the other tighter, "Zack I don't know what to do."

Pulling back a little Zack looked down at Cloud before tilting his head up so that he could look into his eyes.

"About what?" Zack asked. His voice filled with concern as he searched the blue eyes before him.

Cloud could feel his eyes began to sting with tears and he quickly turned his head as he wiped them away.

Zack's heart sunk at that. He hated to see Cloud cry, it was what hurt him most of all. And that in itself was enough to let him know that whatever was bothering Cloud was serious. He couldn't help but to let his mind race as he began to think of what it could've been that was upsetting the other.

"Cloud," he began softly before pulling the boy back into his arms. "It's okay," he began soothingly. He wasn't sure what it was that was bothering him but he wanted to try to comfort him some way.

"But it's not," Cloud continued while shaking his head.

"What are you talking about?" Zack asked while threading his fingers into the boy's hair.

"Hojo," Cloud began quietly, "he's not going to just go away. He's not."

_Hojo? _What did he have to do with this? Just the mention of the man's name let Zack know that something was definitely wrong.

"What happened?" Zack asked while pulling back from the other once more.

Hesitating Cloud took a breath before looking back to Zack. He could already see the concern in the others features, but he had to tell him what happened. After all he had already said enough and there was no way that he could try to change the subject. He knew Zack wouldn't let him anyways.

"Earlier today after I saw you and I went to my dad's office," Cloud started quietly as he let his eyes drop towards the bed, "the Shogun was there. And I tried not to stay too long but…my dad and Elena had to leave for some reason. And then the Shogun asked me to stay while they were away, and then my dad insisted that I stay until he got back and…"

He trailed off after that not seeming to want to finish his words. Or trying to think up a way to say it in a better way but… that was just it. There _was_ no better way. No matter how it was worded it would still be bad, and no words could change that at all.

"And what?" Zack continued to press. He was certain that from the way this conversation was going that it wasn't good. But he had to know, he needed to know.

A soft knock at the door caught their attention accompanied by Aerith's voice. Zack turned towards the door before letting out a sigh. Now really wasn't the best time for her to be here.

Cloud pulled away from Zack completely before shaking his head.

"I don't want to see her right now," he explained softly. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her because it was "Aerith", it was just that he didn't feel up to talking to anybody right now. Aside from Zack that is. He needed to talk to Zack, but alone. He wouldn't tell him anything else about what happened with anyone else around, that was for sure.

Zack nodded in understanding before standing up, "I'll be right back," he said softly before making his way over towards the door. He slid it open only partially revealing a smiling Aerith on the opposite side.

"Hey! I finished helping with the dishes," she explained while peering over his shoulder and noting the dark room, "is everything okay?"

"Uh," Zack began while glancing back over his shoulder briefly, "actually Cloud isn't feeling too well."

"Oh," Aerith replied with a frown.

"Yeah, I think he just needs to rest," Zack continued while stepping out of the room and sliding the door closed behind him.

""Well that's too bad," Aerith started while crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yeah," Zack nodded before offering her a smile, "he'll be fine though."

"I guess we should go then," Aerith explained before moving towards the door, "I'll just tell him I hope he feels better soon."

Zack quickly blocked her way as he shook his head. "Don't worry about that. He's asleep so you shouldn't wake him."

"Oh," Aerith began, although she was giving Zack a bit of a strange look. But she just dismissed it and shook her head.

"I'll walk you back," Zack quickly said before beginning to make his way down the hall, but not before gesturing for Aerith to go first. She just smiled and nodded not questioning Zack any further about things. Which he was glad for, because honestly he wasn't too good of a liar himself so he partially wondered if she suspected something. But his main focus was just getting Aerith back home so that he could come back and talk with Cloud. He needed to know what was going on with the Shogun.

* * *

He didn't know why he was drawing, or even _what _he was drawing. All he knew was that he had picked up his sketchbook during some point and had begun to sketch away. Maybe it was his way of trying to forget, or trying to relax. Although he was failing miserably with that. Letting out a sigh he glanced towards his closed door. What the hell was taking Zack so long? He should've been back by now. Or maybe not…maybe Cloud was just being impatient.

Scribbling across the page he frowned as he looked down to the messy picture. It was awful; he didn't know what he was trying to do. He finally set the book down on the bedside table before lying back against his bed. His mind was reeling and he didn't know what to do to stop it. He felt like he was living out some sort of nightmare and there was nothing he could do about it. No one that could help him. He was just completely alone in all of this. No. No, that wasn't right. He had Zack. That was right. And as long as Zack was there he knew everything would be fine.

A small smile appeared on his face at that thought as he curled up on his side. He just wanted him to be back already so that he could talk to him. Even as much as he didn't want to re hash the events of earlier in the day he had to. And he knew that Zack would be able to calm him down, to let him know everything would be alright. It had to be…it just had to.

He heard a knock coming from the front door and he instantly perked up. Zack must've been back. Pulling himself up on the bed he listened as his mom answered the door and greeted the person. However he didn't hear Zack's cheerful greeting or his mom's squeal of delight from seeing the samurai. No…it was another voice. One that he couldn't exactly place at the moment but he knew he had heard before. He heard his mother speaking now but he couldn't make out the words she was saying.

Letting his curiosity get the better of him he climbed out of bed and made his way towards his door, pressing his ear lightly up against it.

"It won't be long I assure you."

"Well, I'll see how he is. Please come in."

"Thank you."

Frowning the blond pulled away from the door. Who was that? He knew for sure that he recognized the other person's voice. It was a woman but…

"Elena," he spoke quietly to himself as the realization finally hit him. But what was she doing here?

He heard footsteps coming down the hall before stopping in front of his door and then a soft knock followed.

"Cloud?" His mother's voice drifted through the thin door, "honey are you awake?"

Backing away from the door slowly Cloud held his breath. Should he not answer? Should he act like he was asleep? After all if he answered then Elena would want to talk to him more than likely for whatever reason and that was…

No. Wait. His eyes widened as he thought back to earlier in the day in his father's office. Hojo's words. Didn't he say something about…

_"If I send for you tonight, will you join me?"_

Cloud felt a chill run down his spine as he recalled that question. Is that why Elena was here? Was she going to take him to the Shogun? He remembered when Hojo had asked him to have dinner with him and Elena had come that time to get him. So was she doing the same thing now? What other reason could it be?

He remained as quiet as possible as his mom knocked again.

"I think he's asleep," Natsumi said to Elena from the other side of the door, "he wasn't feeling too good apparently."

"What a shame," Elena began as her voice seemed to get closer, "he seemed perfectly alright when I saw him in the Chamberlain's office earlier today."

"Oh you saw him there?" Natsumi asked.

"Yes," Elena replied, "Saito was actually the one who thought it would be a good idea for him to come tonight."

"Oh," Natsumi began, "I'm sure it would've been. Perhaps you can tell the Shogun another time if he'll allow it. I hope he understands."

"I'm sure that won't be a problem," Elena answered as the footsteps moved away from his door.

Cloud had been listening to the whole conversation in silence; barely breathing for fear that they would hear him. But what were they talking about? The Shogun? And allow what!? He felt his heart beating faster and he suddenly felt very confused. What had his dad told the Shogun? And why was he making plans and decisions for him? He had no idea what he was going to get his son into!

He heard the voices grow fainter as the door opened once more and he could hear his mom saying goodbye to Elena before he heard another voice break in.

Leaning towards the door again he pressed his ear against it, straining to hear the voices. He heard the sound of laughter which he knew was his mom's and then the other voice broke in again. This voice belonged to a man, and it wasn't the deep voice of his father…

"Zack," Cloud began with a sigh of relief. Thank god! He wanted to pull open the door so fast but he wasn't sure if Elena had left even though he thought he heard his mom say bye to her.

"I won't bother him for too long auntie I promise," Zack explained as he got closer towards the blonde's door.

Cloud pulled back away from the door as Zack slid it open, not even bothering to knock at all. He dropped his gaze downwards where he saw Cloud kneeling on the ground looking up at him with wide blue eyes.

"What are you doing?" Zack asked softly while stepping inside and sliding the door shut behind him.

"Elena was here," Cloud quickly replied, disregarding the other's question.

Zack kneeled down beside him before cupping his face in his hands. "I know, I ran into her right before I got here. Cloud what's going on?"

By this point Cloud was pretty scared, and so he didn't really hesitate on telling Zack about everything. Not like he was before. He wasn't going to leave any gaps in the story or keep his boyfriend wondering anymore.

"Like I was telling you earlier when I was at my dad's office," he began while letting out a sigh, "some…things happened there when my dad and Elena left."

Zack was silent for a moment as he took in Cloud's words. Even though a part of him was already beginning to suspect something, to actually hear it validated was another. And even though Cloud hadn't said exactly what had happened just yet, the reference was enough to bother Zack.

"What did he do?" Zack asked his voice low and serious as he kept his gaze firmly on Cloud.

However it was that intense gaze that made Cloud look away. It was hard to tell this to Zack. Especially when Cloud was aware of how protective Zack was of him.

"He…kissed me," Cloud finally blurted out while slowly letting his eyes travel back towards Zack. For a second he wondered if the other had heard him or not, because he just kind of sat there and stared back at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

There it was. Zack's worst fears coming to light by Cloud's words. He had a feeling…as much as he was trying to deny it he had a feeling that the Shogun had did _something _to Cloud. He was hoping that Cloud was upset about something else entirely but…that just wasn't the case. Why did he let him go by himself? Whether or not Saito was supposed to be there, he still should've gone. He was supposed to protect Cloud.

The unreadable expression that was on his face quickly morphed into anger. It wasn't directed at Cloud of course not, not at all, but at the sick pervert who was responsible for it.

"Zack?" Cloud asked a bit unsurely. His boyfriend hadn't said anything and the look on his face was beginning to worry him.

Snapping his eyes back towards Cloud he shook his head briefly as if he were trying to clear his head. "Sorry," he mumbled before moving his hands to rest on the others shoulders. His eyes softened as he looked into equally blue eyes. "He didn't…I mean, nothing else happened right?"

"No!" Cloud quickly confirmed while shaking his head, "no…nothing like that. My dad and Elena came back a while later. Not soon enough but still."

Glancing away Zack frowned, "so is that why Elena was here?"

"I don't know," Cloud began quietly while shaking his head, "I didn't talk to her. I acted like I was asleep so I wouldn't have to go out there. But I mean…I think so. Hojo mentioned something about wanting to see me tonight so…maybe."

"What?" Zack asked while turning his gaze back onto the blond.

Cloud just nodded, not really wanting to think about that for too long. Because they both knew what Hojo's intentions would be when he asked for Cloud's "company."

"He's got some nerve," Zack mumbled while standing to his feet. He walked across the room towards the slightly open window. His heart seemed like it was beating a million times per minute and he _swore_ he was seeing red. Hojo was…he would have to pay. Shogun or not Zack could care less at the moment.

Leaning against the window sill he let out a sigh while trying to calm his racing heart. He needed to keep it together right now, he couldn't let his anger get to him. Because Cloud needed him, and he wouldn't be very helpful in this state.

"Maybe," Zack began quietly while pushing away from the window and turning back to look at Cloud. "Maybe we should tell your parents."

Cloud's eyes widened as he stood to his feet. "I don't know," he began with a shake of his head before looking at the ground. "My mom already worries about me too much and if she knew about the Shogun she would just be constantly worried and stressed. And my dad…I don't know. I can't gauge his reaction but I don't want anything to mess up his position on the council. I couldn't forgive myself if I was the reason behind that."

Zack sighed inwardly. At part of him was expecting for Cloud to say that. He knew most of all Cloud wouldn't want to jeopardize the Chamberlain in any way. And Zack really couldn't blame him; he would probably do the same. It was just a bad situation in general. If it was anybody else of course it wouldn't be, but since it was the Shogun their hands were tied in many ways. It was an absolute abuse of power, but of course to Hojo that meant nothing at all.

"Then I'll handle it," Zack replied while walking across the room, heading towards the door.

What? That was the only word that ran through Cloud's mind and he instantly latched onto Zack before he could make it any further to the door.

"What does that mean?" Cloud asked, the worry in his voice clearly evident.

"Cloud, he's not going to just back off like you said," Zack started while looking down at the blond, "and the whole avoiding him thing isn't working. If he's going to be this aggressive then I'll have to change my approach too."

Change my approach? No, Cloud didn't like the sound of that at all. He knew Zack was angry, and with that in mind he knew that maybe he wasn't thinking clearly. Or was he? No, he couldn't be. And Cloud wasn't about to have him doing anything foolish, especially on his behalf. Stepping up to the Shogun in any way was just a bad idea. A very bad idea.

"Zack no," Cloud began while grasping the others arm tighter as he turned him so that he was facing him completely. "You can't get involved in this. I mean, for one I don't think he wants me to tell anyone. And if you confront him somehow then that'll just be bad for both of us."

"I can't get involved in this?" Zack asked, while narrowing his eyes at the other. He was slightly confused by that comment.

Cloud was silent briefly before nodding, "I just don't want anything…bad to happen Zack."

The samurai let out a sigh before pulling his boyfriend towards him. Now he understood why Cloud didn't want him involved. He was, just as always, worried about Zack. Not even seeming to be worried about himself. In fact he was thinking of everyone else but him it seemed.

"Cloud," Zack began gently, "I'm not going to just stand by and let this happen."

"I know I just," Cloud began while burying his face in the others chest. He didn't know what it was that he was trying to say. He just didn't want things to get messy. He was trying to avoid that at all cost, but, in a situation like this maybe that was impossible. It wasn't as if he had ever experienced this before so he really didn't know.

"Don't worry about me," Zack started while squeezing the other tighter, "that's the last thing you need to worry about. There's not much he could do anyways, and whatever he does try its fine. I'm not worried about it."

"Don't say that," Cloud mumbled. Even if Zack wasn't worried, Cloud still was. And he didn't like hearing about it. He wasn't sure what exactly Zack had planned, but whatever it was he didn't want it to affect him.

"Sorry," Zack spoke softly while pressing a kiss on top of the others head. "And I'm sorry I wasn't there earlier. I should've been."

"It's not your fault, how could you have known," Cloud replied while looking up at the other.

"Still I knew he was going to be there," Zack explained.

"Zack don't. It's impossible for you to be around me every second of the day and I don't expect you to," Cloud started while reaching up and placing his hand on Zack's cheek, "you have a lot of things that you need to do. And I know that. I don't blame you at all…for anything."

The last thing Cloud wanted was for Zack to feel guilty. He had no reason to. It wasn't his fault that the Shogun was after him. Zack gave a brief nod as he pulled the other closer once again. All he wanted to do was to hold him, as if he could somehow shield him from whatever other problems that may arise. To assure Cloud that he was there, and that he wasn't going anywhere. And Hojo would _never_ touch him again. Zack would make sure of it. Just the thought that he had…no, he didn't want to think about it. He could practically feel his blood boil just from the thought.

"I love you," Zack spoke into the quietness of the room as he kept his tight hold on the other. He needed to say that more so now than ever. To let Cloud know how deeply he cared about him. Even though it wasn't the first time he said it. But he needed Cloud to understand that no matter what, he was there. And whatever Hojo may try to do, it wouldn't matter in the end. Not as long as they had what they did between them. Nothing could ever come between that.

Cloud couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his face at those words. He looked up into blue eyes that only held sincerity and warmth and his smile widened. "I love you too."

Leaning down Zack placed a firm kiss against the blonde's forehead before moving to place one against his lips. He pulled back after however, somewhat hesitating in his actions. He wanted to kiss Cloud, but then again he didn't know if that was the smartest thing to do right now. Just because Cloud may still be feeling a bit weird about how the days events had played out. And he didn't want to make him uncomfortable in any way.

Seeming to sense Zack's hesitation Cloud leaned forward, closing the gap between them. If anything at all he wanted to feel Zack's kiss. He _needed_ to. He needed that to erase the feel of the Shogun's lips against his. That he wanted to forget, to push into the very back of his mind. The only thing he wanted to feel was Zack. To remember his touch and the feel of being in his arms. That was all he ever wanted, to be Zack's completely and wholly, and nobody else's.

They both seemed to get in lost in the kiss as it became more passionate as the time went by. The only thing either of them was focused on was each other and that was the only important thing. It wasn't until a soft knock on the door came that they both snapped back into reality, reluctantly pulling away from one another.

"Cloud?" Natsumi asked through the door, "Is everything okay now? Are you feeling better?"

"Yes mom I'm fine," Cloud replied while glancing towards the door.

"Okay," Natsumi began, "well it's pretty late now. Zack why don't you just stay over huh? I don't want you heading back into town so late."

Zack smiled as Cloud looked back over to him. Even though he was a Samurai it hardly mattered to Natsumi. She still saw him as the little boy he was years ago in so many ways.

"Okay Auntie. Thank you," Zack answered back before Natsumi said your welcome, and then she was off heading towards her room.

"You don't mind?" Cloud asked.

"Of course not," Zack replied while leaning in once more to place a kiss on the others cheek.

Cloud smiled. In all honesty he was glad that Zack was staying over. It just made him feel safe knowing that he would be right there beside him.

"Tired?" Zack asked, noticing the weary look in the others eyes. Although he wasn't sure if it was from tiredness so much or just from the stress of the day.

"A little," Cloud replied.

"Yeah, it's been a long day," Zack began while tugging at his boyfriend's arm, "let's go to bed."

Cloud didn't argue at all. If anything lying in a warm bed with Zack next to his side was probably just exactly what he needed to put him at ease and calm his nerves. He had just lay back in bed when he felt Zack curl up beside him, draping an arm around his waist. Usually they wouldn't be so close this way when Cloud's parents were home but…it didn't seem to matter to either of them at that moment. Not at all.

* * *

**Authors Notes:****And here is chapter 5! I'm sorry it took a little long for this chapter to get written but I've had a lot of homework lately and not a lot of free time at all. However, this chapter is sort of just a filler…so yeah. Sorry about that. But anyways! So yeah Hojo is making more advances on Cloud! No! And yea Cloud turned him down, so is that it? Haha, he is the Shogun. Be prepared for the worst you guys! And what exactly does Zack intend to do about this? Oh yeah Aerith will start to be coming around more also. And Angeal will be in the next chapter. And there should be two more characters who will be introduced soon. So yeah, until next chapter! Thanks for the reviews everyone!**


	6. Broken Promises

"_But we're going to have an uneven amount of people!" Reno whined._

_"Sorry," Zack replied with a grin while stretching out on the cool grass that was partially shaded by the Cherry Blossom tree overhead._

_"You should play Zack," Cloud spoke up from beside him while plucking some strands of grass from the ground._

_"And leave you here to watch?" Zack asked while turning his head in Cloud's direction. "That hardly seems fair."_

_It was an excruciatingly hot day out, and most of the town kids were down at the lake swimming in the cold water. They now wanted to start up a game of some kind and Reno was trying to assemble his team. And while swimming in a nice huge lake of cold water really did sound appealing to Zack, he wasn't about to just let his best friend sit alone by himself under the tree while he watched all of the other kids have fun._

_"Why aren't you playing Cloud?" Reno asked while focusing his attention on the small blonde._

_Glancing towards the ground Cloud continued to pluck the blades of grass. "I can't swim," he admitted quietly._

_Reno gave a groan before looking back to the lake when a few of their friends called out to him to hurry it up._

_"Give me a minute!" Reno shouted back before looking back to his friend. "Come on, just one game okay? I can't loose to those idiots over there," Reno explained while jabbing his thumb in the direction of some other boys in their town._

_"Go ahead Zack. Just play one game, it'll be fun," Cloud began with a smile._

_Pulling himself up to a sitting position Zack glanced over at the other kids. He did really want to play, and he was never one to turn down a challenge. He liked a good competition just like his red headed friend. But still…_

_"Are you sure?" Zack asked Cloud while giving him a bit of an unsure look._

_"Yeah, I'll be okay," Cloud replied with a nod, all the while keeping a smile on his face._

_"Okay," Zack finally gave in, "just one game," he finished while turning to Reno who was practically dancing in delight. Before he knew it he was being dragged down by the lake and only had time to cast one look back at Cloud. He looked so small and lonely sitting under the tree by himself. The lake was filled with laughter and splashing kids, and he wasn't a part of it at all. _

_Letting out a sigh Cloud dropped the blades of grass from his hands as he watched all of his friends and the other children in town at the lake. It looked like so much fun. He wished he knew how to swim; it was just one more thing that made him different than the other kids._

_Even though he was sitting under the tree in the shade it was still really hot. He knew the lake would be really cold, it would be nice if he could go in there. He wasn't sure how long he sat there under the tree watching as his friends swam throughout the water having a good time of their own, but it felt like a while._

_Standing up he made his way closer to the water and away from the tree. He stopped once he got right to the edge of the lake before he took a seat on the ground. He stared down at the clear water looking at his reflection before stretching out a small hand to touch the water. He wondered just how cold it was, and just as he suspected it was really cold, which was sort of strange even though the sun was blaring down on it._

_"Red team four points! And Blue team three points!" Reno announced to the teams, "all we need is one more and we win!"_

_"That shouldn't be too hard," Zack replied with a grin. He just wanted to finish the game. Partly because the boys on the other team annoyed him and he wanted to rub it in their faces. And also because the game was going longer than he intended and he wanted to go back over to Cloud. He knew that the other was probably bored out of his mind. _

_He looked back over towards the tree just to see what the blond was doing and realized that Cloud had made his way down to the lake's edge. Zack saw him with his hand outstretched in the water, maybe he had dropped something? Whatever it was he didn't have long to think about it because next thing he knew Cloud had fallen forward creating a little splash in the water beneath him._

_"Cloud!!" Zack shouted as his eyes widened. In a second he was swimming as fast as he possibly could back to the shore of the lake. They had ventured out pretty far to the middle of the lake during their game, and now the edge seemed like it was so far away._

_He saw Cloud poke his head out of the water once followed by a flurry of arms as he splashed about. And then he went under the water again. Zack's stomach dropped at that sight and he pushed himself even harder to get to his friend quicker. The swim felt like it took an eternity but finally Zack reached the other, going under the water momentarily to hoist him back up. The good thing was when they came up out of the water Cloud was sputtering and coughing…but he was still conscious. And that was the main thing._

_"Cloud," Zack began in a slight panic as he placed the smaller one on the grass, "are you alright?"_

_Cloud continued to cough and take in deep breaths of air before Zack wrapped his arms around him._

_"It's okay," Zack started soothingly, "you're fine now. Everything's okay."_

_He had barely even noticed that through this whole ordeal Reno was right behind him. He had also seen Cloud fall into the water and was right on Zack's heels as they swam towards the shore. And now he was sitting beside his two friends, watching everything with wide green eyes._

_"Zack," Cloud finally managed to choke out followed by a few coughs. He had wound his arms tightly around the older boy and had now begun to cry. "I was scared," he continued on between cries. It was a pretty traumatic thing for a little kid to go through after all. _

_Reno reached out and patted Cloud's soaked wet spikes a few times. "I'm going to go get his mom," he spoke up softly before standing up and running back into town._

_"It's okay," Zack continued to assure his friend as he kept a tight hold on him. He didn't know what the other kids were doing or if they had seen what happened but he could care less about them. His main priority was Cloud. He felt so guilty for leaving him like that. He never should've gone to play that stupid game! _

_"I'll never let anything bad happen to you again okay? I won't let anything hurt you," Zack explained to Cloud. He felt Cloud nod his head against him before replying with a soft "okay."_

_"I promise," Zack whispered just as he heard Cloud's mom calling to him in a worried voice. But he still didn't let Cloud go even then, and Cloud only held onto him tighter._

_

* * *

  
_

A soft whimper escaped from the blond as he shifted in his sleep, unconsciously moving closer to the warmth beside him.

Zack smiled down at him as he ran his fingers through the soft spiky hair. Cloud was absolutely adorable in Zack's opinion when he was asleep. He looked so peaceful and he always made the cutest sounds…although Zack would never tell him that. And he was really cuddly; however that was what Zack loved best. It was safe to say that they both liked to cuddle.

He didn't know how long he had been awake now just watching Cloud as he slept. It gave him some sort of peace and quieted his thoughts. However he didn't know why he had just been thinking about that time when they were kids at the lake. Truth was it was one memory he didn't like to dwell on. If he had looked over a second later and didn't see Cloud fall in…what would've happened? No, he hated to think about that. The important thing was that he _did_ see him fall and he was able to get to him in still…it was the one thing that Zack never forgave himself for. If he had to look hard at any good that came of that was Cloud's persistence afterwards of learning how to swim. Zack had wanted to teach him before but Cloud was so afraid to get in the water that Zack didn't push it.

But it had been Cloud that later asked for Zack to teach him to swim. And after many _many _lessons, he finally got his friend to swim. So at least that was one thing that Zack didn't have to worry about the following summer.

He had always been protective of Cloud for as long as he could remember. But it was after that incident that he had become deathly protective of him. Cloud was only eight at the time. And while growing up Cloud was the smaller one, the quiet and shy one. There were a lot of things that could've been a threat to him and Zack just had to keep him safe. It was a feeling instilled in him ever since he had met Cloud basically and that hadn't changed. Not at all. He couldn't explain it but he just had to keep him safe at all cost. He would give his life without a second thought if it meant Cloud would be safe. It was how he felt then and it was definitely how he felt now.

"Zack," Cloud's sleepy voice spoke up.

Glancing down to the blond pressed to his side he realized that the other's eyes were still closed.

"Yeah?" Zack asked quietly. He wasn't sure if Cloud was really awake or if he was just talking in his sleep.

"It's cold," Cloud replied while scrunching his nose a bit and moving even closer to Zack.

It did seem like the room had grown pretty cold actually but Zack had had too much on his mind to really pay it much thought at all. His eyes landed on the window across the room and he saw that it was still open. So sliding out of the bed which caused Cloud to make a noise of protest, he walked across the room and closed it. It was early morning now and so there was that crisp chill in the air. The birds had already begun to start chirping away as well.

The night seemed to have flown by rather quickly, and now that Zack thought about it he had barely gotten any sleep at all. He had too much on his mind. But the important thing was that Cloud had slept, he knew he needed it after the day he had before.

Slipping back into the bed he pulled the covers up higher over Cloud as he pulled him closer towards him.

"Better?" Zack asked softly.

"Much," Cloud replied with a yawn before letting his eyes finally flutter open. He noticed the early light shining into the room and he let out a groan. He didn't want to get up at all today. He just wanted to stay in bed like this with Zack, where he didn't have any concerns or worries. Where he could just feel safe and loved.

The sound of a door sliding closed caught his attention along with Tama's high pitched meow. It meant that his mom was now up preparing to start breakfast.

Turning in the bed once more he looked up into Zack's face. He seemed wide awake and was currently looking up at the ceiling. What was on his mind Cloud wasn't sure, although he had a few ideas.

"Hey," Cloud began while poking him in the arm to gain his attention. In a second blue eyes were staring back into his own waiting for him to continue. "You look like you're spacing out."

Smiling a bit Zack let out a small laugh, "well I'm bound to start doing that eventually I guess. It's what I get for hanging around an artist; I'm picking up on your odd habits."

A sharp jab in his side was his response and he couldn't help but to laugh as he looked at the pouting blond. This was what he wanted, for them to be able to go back to their silly playfulness. He didn't want to tell Cloud what was going on in his head, he didn't want to worry or stress him out further than he already was. He needed to take his mind off of things, even if it just for a bit.

"Shut up," Cloud continued while turning on his side fully, "that's a stereotype, artist aren't all weird or have weird habits. The only weird thing about me is that I'm going out with you."

Letting out a mock shocked gasp Zack sat up while looking down at Cloud who had a smirk on his face.

"That one hurt," Zack began while tapping his chest, "right here. Really."

"You started it," Cloud replied with a laugh. And this only concluded in Zack giving Cloud his best sad look. Complete with puppy eyes and the whole nine.

"Don't give me that look!" Cloud began with a laugh while pulling the blanket over his head.

"What look?" Zack asked while pulling the covers off from over Cloud's head.

"That one," Cloud grumbled while looking into Zack's sad face.

"Well you hurt my feelings," Zack began while leaning down and nuzzling his face in Cloud's neck.

Letting out a sigh Cloud wrapped his arms around Zack as he rolled his eyes slightly, however the smile on his face remained in tact. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

A quick kiss was placed against his neck before Zack pulled back grinning down at the blond beneath him. "Apology accepted!"

Cloud ran a hand down over his face. It was too early in the morning for Zack's energy…but then again, he wouldn't have it any other way. Removing his hand away from his face he looked up into Zack's eyes. True he had seemed wide awake since Cloud had awoken. But even so, he still looked tired. His eyes were bright as ever but there seemed to be something else there that also made them look tired.

Reaching up he let his hand rest against the side of the Samurai's face as he studied him a bit more carefully.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" He asked with concern. The light mood seeming to come crashing down as he let his worry get to him.

"Off and on," Zack replied with a shrug, "I'm good though."

Cloud couldn't help but to think that Zack was just brushing it off as so not to worry him. But Cloud knew that Zack was upset about what he had found out the night before…he had every right to be. Hell, Cloud was upset too. But now that Zack knew he just couldn't stop himself from worrying, and he hated that Zack was stressed over everything too. The last thing he wanted to do was to put more burdens on him.

"Are you sure?" Cloud asked while searching the eyes above him.

Zack gave him a reassuring smile before nodding briefly. "Yeah," he spoke softly while removing Cloud's hand away from his face before taking it into his own. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss against his boyfriend's lips before pinning his hand down against the bed.

"Stop worrying," Zack continued quietly after they broke their kiss, "it's written all over your face."

Cloud didn't doubt that it was. He wasn't good at masking his feelings and emotions, not from Zack anyways. He could read him like an open book.

"I can't help it," Cloud replied just as quietly as he lowered his gaze away from Zack's eyes. He felt lips back over his own after that and his eyes instantly fell shut. No matter what worries or concerns were going through his head they always quickly faded away when Zack would kiss him. Even if it was momentarily only it still was nice to put his mind at ease for even just a short amount of time.

He opened his mouth as soon as he felt Zack's tongue against his lips, eager to deepen the kiss. Zack let go of his hand that he had pinned against the bed allowing Cloud to slide his fingers into silky raven hair.

A soft knock came at the door causing the two of them to pull away quickly. Cloud was waiting for his mom to walk in but instead she spoke through the door.

"Are you two awake?" Natsumi asked.

"Yes mom," Cloud replied while pulling himself up to a sitting position.

"Okay well come get some breakfast. And Cloud don't forget your lessons resume again today so you need to get ready," his mom explained.

"Oh that's right," Cloud mumbled to himself while scuffing a hand through his hair.

"Cloud? Did you hear me?" Natsumi asked through the door again.

"Yes mom," Cloud answered before Natsumi told him to hurry up.

They didn't have much time after that to lounge around any longer. Cloud had to hurry and get ready, if he was late today after being out from lessons for so long his dad would not be happy. So while he got ready Zack had already left the room to go and have breakfast. Once he finished he joined the rest of them at the table, his dad already giving him a look.

"You going to be late again today?" Saito asked while setting down his cup of tea.

"No," Cloud replied while his mom set down his plate before him.

"Hmm," Saito began before returning back to his meal. "You take to long to get ready in the morning. You're always the last one at the table."

"Saito," Natsumi began while shooting her husband a look, "he's fine. He has more than enough time."

"Sorry dad I'll get up earlier tomorrow," Cloud replied while taking a bite of food.

Zack was sitting beside him eating as well as he kept his eyes going back and forth between the two. He honestly didn't understand why Saito criticized every little thing Cloud did sometimes. He knew he was strict; the man always was for as long as he could remember. But still.

"What was wrong with you last night?" Saito continued on.

"What do you mean?" Cloud asked while looking towards his father.

"Your mother told me you were ill," Saito replied.

"Oh," Cloud started with a shake of his head, "yeah I just…had a bad headache."

"I think he just needed rest," Natsumi broke in, "you are constantly doing something Cloud. A little down time can be good too huh? Or else you'll wear yourself down."

"Yes mom," Cloud replied while looking towards his mom who gave him a sweet smile.

"Down time?" Saito asked with a scoff, "Nonsense. Look at Zack, a Samurai. I'm sure he get's tired too but he doesn't let it get to him. Nor would he complain about it. Isn't that right Zack?"

This wasn't an uncommon thing. For whatever reason Saito always would compare Zack and Cloud. Try to place Zack on this pedestal of some sort. Zack didn't really understand it and could only connect the reasoning to Saito wanting to show Cloud how he should've become a Samurai. It was like…something that he would never let go. But Zack hated when he did that, and more times than not he wanted to say something to Saito about it. But Cloud never wanted him to say anything to his dad for fear of him thinking of it as disrespectful. And he didn't want to chance his dad becoming angry at Zack.

"Uh well…I wouldn't say that," Zack started with a shrug, "I'm sure I complain a lot."

"Even so, you have more than a creditable reason to," Saito continued before turning his gaze back to Cloud, "you missed an opportunity last night because of that."

A silence fell over the table after that. Zack seeming to tense up at the mention of it and he glanced at Cloud from the corner of his eye to catch his reaction. But his hair was covering his face so he couldn't exactly see. However he was pretty sure he knew what was running through his mind.

"How so?" Cloud finally asked.

"After you left my office yesterday the Shogun mentioned more about those…drawings, of yours. He expressed an interest to see more. I told him if he wished to do so that something could be arranged," Saito explained while taking another bite of food. "He came up with an idea for you to join him last night for some type of art exhibit. I thought it would be a good idea, so that you can meet more of the residents and the council."

"Oh," Natsumi began while looking back to Cloud, "that would've been nice. You've wanted to go to an art exhibit for a while now, that would've been your chance."

"Its fine I don't mind," Cloud simply replied.

"You sound awfully casual about it," Saito began while giving his son a disapproving look, "don't you realize what an honor it is for the Shogun to extend a personal invitation to you like that? Especially when you take into account that you rarely come to any functions in the castle. People don't even realize that I have a son."

"Saito," Natsumi snapped while narrowing her eyes at the man.

"Well," Saito began while taking a drink of tea, "it's the truth."

"Sorry dad," Cloud started, "I didn't realize."

With a wave of his hand Saito arose from the table, "Well what's done is done. Go on, you'll be late for lessons."

With a nod Cloud quickly stuffed a few more bites into his mouth before washing it down with some tea. His mom scolded Saito for making Cloud scarf down food as she began to clear the table.

"I hope you enjoyed your breakfast Zack," Natsumi said with a smile.

"Yes, it was great! Thank you auntie!" Zack beamed causing Natsumi's face to light up. She lived off of the compliments that Zack gave.

"Cloud!" Saito called from the living room just as he and Zack were at the door.

"Yes dad?" Cloud asked while stopping just as he slid open the door.

"Come back straight after lessons, no going out and staying out all night," Saito explained.

"Okay," Cloud replied before Natsumi gave both he and Zack both cheerful goodbyes. As soon as they stepped out of the house and closed the door behind them Zack frowned. Cloud seemed to just be going through the morning routine in a robot like matter. He wondered if he seriously got angry with his father sometimes. The way Saito spoke to him…he didn't like it.

"I can tell this is going to be a long day," Cloud spoke up with a sigh as they began to make their way out of the corridor.

"Cloud," Zack started hesitantly, "I know it's been a little while since I've been around you and your dad but…"

"Zack don't," Cloud began with a sigh, "you know how my dad is. You say something about it every time."

"I know but-"

"And he was probably a little more harsh today because he was mad about last night," Cloud continued to explain while giving Zack a look, "I mean if I had met with the Shogun it's like…points for my dad ya know? He's just upset that I didn't meet with him. He thinks I'm too anti social with the people here in the castle and that reflects bad on his image I guess."

When it was put that way Zack guessed it made sense. But still it made him a bit upset to know that Saito just wanted Cloud to meet with Hojo because he would somehow look better in the Shogun's eyes. On the council status meant everything and he understood that…really he did. But at the same time he thought that some line had to be drawn. True Saito didn't know that Hojo was interested in Cloud in a completely different way other than "artistic abilities" so he supposed he couldn't hold that against him. But…how could he not? A lot of people knew about Hojo's reputation, it wasn't exactly a secret. So how did Saito not know? Zack hadn't really thought about that too much, but now that the idea passed through his mind…he couldn't help but be a little curious.

Especially with Saito being on the council surely he heard some rumors or something. But maybe he just dismissed them as gossip.

"Zack?" Cloud asked while peering over at the other.

Looking beside him Zack saw Cloud giving him a questioning look. He quickly shook his head, clearing his mind of their current thoughts. There was a lot more important things that he needed to be worrying about now rather than Cloud's strict father. And more importantly he needed to give Cloud his full attention, he needed him right now.

"Sorry. I guess I am a little spacey today," Zack replied with a laugh.

Cloud smiled back after a moment, although it was a bit of a mask. He really wished he could just read Zack's mind because he knew there was tons of things running through it. And he couldn't help but to be a bit nosy about it.

"I'll walk you to your class first before I go," Zack continued while bumping into Cloud playfully.

"Okay," Cloud replied. He wanted to ask Zack a billion questions at that moment but thought better of it. He had told him so many times already not to worry so…he guessed he at least had to try.

* * *

"Ah I can't write anymore," Aerith whined while massaging her wrist, "tell me we're almost done."

"Yeah, almost," Cloud replied while letting out a sigh and leaning back in his chair. He could definitely understand where his friend was coming from. They had been here in the library for hours working on this assignment for their next lesson. It was way too much in Cloud's opinion. He really hated being privately tutored.

"I haven't even seen sunlight in days since I've been working on this thing," Aerith explained while stretching a bit in her seat.

"Me either," Cloud answered while flipping through his notebook. Although his reason for not going out was completely different, for the most part his dad wanted him at home. He never really did like him going out of the castle much, especially when he "stayed out all night" but as of recently it seemed like he didn't want him going out much at all. He didn't know if he was being punished for some reason or if it was simply his dad being…well his dad.

But on the other hand he guessed he didn't really mind. A part of him wanted to have a reason to be locked inside the house. At least that way he didn't have to worry about any chance encounters with the Shogun. He supposed he wasn't exactly safe at home either, after all someone could just come for him there. But he thought he had a better chance there indoors. Maybe if Hojo didn't actually see him he wouldn't be so enticed to actually get him.

All he knew was that things seemed to be going okay now and that's the way he wanted it to remain. Zack came by often seeing as how he knew that Cloud wasn't allowed to go out lately. Cloud had asked him if he had said something to Hojo, or done something in any way to keep him away and Zack didn't really answer. Not straight forward anyways. And in all honesty it annoyed the hell out of Cloud. He didn't understand why Zack wouldn't just tell him. But when talking about the Shogun now Zack seemed to be very short in his responses, and his voice seemed to take on a whole other tone.

Maybe Zack was trying to forget about it. Act as if everything was alright and that Hojo had never tried to make a move on Cloud. Maybe the thought of it all just made him angry…it made sense. But still Cloud didn't like the way he was blocking it out. However he guessed it made him feel good in a way that when Zack came by he tried to avoid the subject. It was nice to be able to just be together without having to talk about the Shogun at all…like how things were before he came into the picture.

"I think I messed up," Aerith spoke up while reading over the paper.

Glancing across the table at her Cloud let out a sigh. He knew she was getting tired of this assignment. Hell he was too, but at least he was a little more focused than she was. They really didn't have much more to do though.

"Aerith I can finish this it's almost done anyways. Why don't you head back, I know you need a break," Cloud explained.

"Huh?" Aerith asked with a bit of a confused expression, "Cloud I'm not going to just dump the rest of this on you."

"No really it's fine," Cloud continued, "the last part of this I was supposed to do anyways. And really it won't take me long at all."

"Are you sure?" Aerith asked, still a bit hesitant to let him finish on his own.

"Yeah it's no big deal," Cloud replied with a small smile, "go ahead. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks Cloud," Aerith started with a sigh. She really was tired and she was probably doing more harm then well with trying to work on this thing. Grabbing her items from off the table she patted Cloud on the shoulder before wishing him a good night and then she had exited the library.

Cloud silently rejoiced to himself. It wasn't that he hated working with her but he honestly really did work better by himself. He hated having to compare notes and split up work, he preferred to do it his way at his own pace. That and he still felt a bit weird being around Aerith. Though he was sure that wasn't going to disappear anytime soon, after all it was strange to hang around the person that you knew was crushing on your boyfriend. And that hadn't changed at all; she still talked about Zack all the time. However she seemed to be becoming a bit irritated at the fact that he was always so busy and she barely got to spend time with him.

Cloud couldn't help but to smile at that. Because when Zack was "so busy" he usually was with Cloud. Any free time his boyfriend had he spent with him, no matter how tired he may be he always made time for him. It was one of the things Cloud loved so much about Zack.

It wasn't much longer until Cloud finished he and Aerith's assignment and he quickly began to organize his belongings. He wanted nothing more than to go home and have dinner and then relax in his room. And maybe if he felt up to it later he could continue working on the last sketch he had started, and if he was lucky maybe Zack would drop by if he was free.

Gathering up his things he made his way towards the library entrance, pulling open one of the heavy doors. It creaked loudly and seemed to practically echo in the now empty hallways. He tried to close it a bit more quietly but no such luck. At least there were no sleeping quarters in this corridor so it wasn't likely to disturb anyone.

Continuing down the halls he let out a yawn while glancing out a window on the side. He wondered just how late it really was, hopefully his mom wasn't worried. Even though he did tell her he would be in the library studying.

"It's awfully late for you to be roaming about," a voice spoke into the quiet hallway.

Cloud wasn't sure how he didn't notice the sound of footsteps behind him beforehand. Perhaps he was too caught up in his thoughts or something. He stopped in mid step before turning to cast a look over his shoulder.

"Good evening," Cloud said with a bow once he had turned around to face the other properly.

"Where were you at just now?" The man asked while giving the blond a pointed look.

"Um, the library," Cloud explained a bit nervously. He didn't know why he was nervous though. Maybe because there was just something about the man that intimidated him a little, and well, he had every right to feel that way. After all this was Angeal Hewley, the head of the Samurai in Edo. Who wouldn't be a bit intimidated?

"And you're heading?" Angeal asked with a bit of a raised brow.

"Home," Cloud added, "I was just finishing up an assignment…but I'm done."

"I see," Angeal replied with a brief nod. "Well let's go," he finished before walking ahead of Cloud.

What? Cloud stared at the man completely confused and not moving at all as he watched the other walk away.

"Excuse me?" Cloud finally asked, catching Angeal's attention.

He stopped walking and turned around to look at Cloud.

"I assume your quarters are this way?" Angeal asked while pointing off in a direction of the hall.

"Well yes," Cloud replied while taking a few steps over to the other.

"Good," Angeal began, "you can lead the way then."

"Okay," Cloud spoke up a bit unsure. He didn't know why Angeal was taking him home. Maybe he needed to speak with his father or something, but he didn't question him about it.

"You shouldn't walk alone here Cloud. Especially at night," Angeal began, "Even if you are in the castle it doesn't mean that you're safe."

Looking at Angeal Cloud opened his mouth if as if to speak but nothing came out. What did the man mean by that exactly? That was what he really wanted to ask anyways, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words.

"Did," Cloud began hesitantly while looking at the man out of the corner of his eye, "did Zack tell you…something?"

"Zack?" Angeal asked while giving Cloud a questioning look. "What does Zack have to do with anything?"

Snapping his eyes forward Cloud cleared his throat. It looked like Zack _hadn't_ told Angeal anything. He needed to correct this; he didn't need anyone else knowing about the Shogun.

"Uh nothing…sorry," he quickly explained. He decided not to say anything more than that for fear it would come out wrong.

"Well," Angeal continued, "speaking of Zack, he's not going to be here for a while. I know you two are good friends so you probably would like to know."

What? Looking back to Angeal Cloud's eyes widened slightly.

"What do you mean?" Cloud asked, not being able to hide the concern in his voice.

"This is you?" Angeal asked while coming to a stop.

Glancing ahead Cloud noticed that they were right in front of his quarters. He hadn't even realized that they were nearby.

"Oh. Yes," Cloud replied quietly, "thank you."

Angeal simply gave him a nod before turning around preparing to head back. "Have a nice evening."

"Wait! Angeal?" Cloud blurted out without taking a moment to think about it. The other stopped and turned to look back at him, waiting patiently for him to continue.

"You said Zack wouldn't be here for a while. Why? Where did he go?" He couldn't help but to let his curiosity get the best of him. He probably shouldn't be so forward as to ask Angeal a question like that. After all he was just a kid and sticking his nose into the business of a Samurai was probably a stupid thing to do. But he didn't care about that at the moment, he was just wondering where his boyfriend was.

"It's no concern of yours," Angeal replied while narrowing his eyes slightly.

For some reason that felt like a slap to Cloud's face. No concern of his? Of course it was! But there was no way he could say that to Angeal, it was all a part of the façade that he had been so good at keeping up. He couldn't let that all crumble now.

"Remember what I told you," Angeal continued before turning around and heading back down the hall. Cloud simply stood in his spot and watched as the man walked away. He stayed there until he couldn't see him anymore and then reluctantly he stepped inside his house, closing the door quietly behind him.

"Welcome back sweetie!" Natsumi chimed from the kitchen, "dinner is ready."

"I'll eat a little later," Cloud replied while removing his shoes at the door before heading back to his room.

"Later?" Natsumi asked while ducking her head out from the kitchen, "it's already late enough. Come on."

Stepping into his room Cloud slid his door closed before dropping his class work on his bed. He didn't mean to be rude to his mom but he just stepped in the door! And now he was feeling rather uneasy with what just occurred on the way back home. He felt like he was being kept in the dark about something. And what was Angeal going on about? The castle wasn't safe? Did he know about Hojo? Or was he talking about something all together?

Letting out a sigh he fell onto his bed while staring up at the ceiling. He felt a headache coming on. He didn't know what was going on, and the only thing that would probably settle him right now was to talk to Zack. But…Zack was gone somewhere apparently. And that in itself was weird. If ever Zack was going away somewhere he always told Cloud beforehand. He never just disappeared. And why couldn't Angeal tell him? Why did it have to be so secretive?

"Cloud?" Natsumi asked while knocking on his door lightly, "sweetie are you alright?"

No! That was the first thing that screamed out in Cloud's mind. He wasn't alright. So much was wrong, and more than ever he felt completely confused. Why was everything so complicated lately? He was trying his hardest not to worry…but really, that seemed impossible.

* * *

**A/N: And here is chapter 6! Sorry for the delay but I had massive amounts of homework and projects that seemed to come at me all at one time! Grr! But anyways! I know the chapter maybe started off a bit slow, but I wanted to emphasize on Zack's feelings right now and his protectiveness of Cloud, as it's pretty important for future chaps! For people that have read any of my other fics, you know I love foreshadowing! Hmm, I wonder if you guys picked up on any of it this chapter! I put a few different things in this chapter that'll start to clear up later! Thanks for reading and reviewing people! I've already begun the next chap so it shouldn't take as long as this one to post now that I got a bit more free time! So until next time! **


	7. Vanilla Sky

Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters.

Note: This chapter was re uploaded cause the first time it posted weird. So sorry if you read that one!

* * *

Stepping out of his class Cloud looked around before spotting the man he was so accustomed to seeing now. With a small smile he made his way over towards him as the other pushed himself from off the wall he was leaning against.

"How was your lesson today?" The older man asked casually.

"Fine, thanks," Cloud replied with a nod.

This had become so routine over the many weeks. After he would get out of class, when he would leave his home or if he got a chance to leave the castle. Wherever he seemed to go Angeal was not far. At first he was a bit shocked by it and even asked Angeal if there was a reason he was around so often. But the man just told him that he happened to be out and around. An obvious lie of course, but Cloud figured that Angeal had his reasons for it. But being escorted around everywhere by a Samurai made him feel a bit embarrassed, and not just a Samurai….Angeal Hewley.

He was used to it by now and didn't question the man's actions any further but he still felt a little weird. It was something he wanted to ask Zack about, maybe he knew something about it. But Zack was still gone. It was too long in Cloud's opinion and every day that his boyfriend wasn't there only made Cloud's worry grow. And Angeal wasn't offering to tell him anymore about Zack than he had told him that one evening when they ran into each other. So Cloud was simply just going through the days still feeling just as confused as ever.

"Are you planning on going anywhere later today?" Angeal asked while turning his gaze down to the boy beside him.

Cloud gave a shake of his head, "No I don't think so."

"Alright," Angeal replied as they continued down their path. Everyone that passed by them quickly regarded Angeal with a curt bow, and the ladies always seemed to smile widely as a blush stained their cheeks. Angeal seemed perfectly used to it but even now Cloud was still somewhat in awe of the man.

* * *

Sighing Cloud pushed some of his food around on his plate with his chopsticks. He wasn't really hungry at all, and honestly he just wanted to leave. But since he rarely went to any of the dinner functions he knew that he couldn't complain about attending this one, especially since his father had insisted that he come. The evening had consisted of his father introducing Cloud to various council members, and Cloud had to politely acknowledge and answer any questions that they asked him. His dad seemed more than pleased about this, but after speaking to about five different people Cloud was tired of it already.

"I'm so glad you came this time Cloud," Aerith spoke up from beside him while she picked up her cup of tea, "it's nice to have company. And since Zack isn't here I really would've been lonely."

Pausing in his movements Cloud hesitantly nodded. True Zack usually did have to attend these functions for at least a little while and he knew that Aerith and he would surely be around each other. But he just hated to be reminded of it, as childish as he probably was in that reasoning. That and just hearing Zack's name right now made him a little sad.

"I really do hope he comes back soon," Aerith continued on softly before letting out a sigh.

"Me too," Cloud replied just as quiet before letting his eyes wander around the room. He saw his mother and father talking and laughing with some other people, mingling happily as they always tended to do at these events. He was such the opposite of them in that way.

"Aerith," the Magistrate began while approaching their table, "there's someone I would like you to meet."

"Oh," Aerith began while looking up to her father before setting down her cup. "Okay," she continued before getting up from her seat. "Be right back!" She said to her friend before she was following after her dad into the crowd of people.

The room seemed to be closing in on him. It was too loud for him suddenly and all of the laughing was beginning to annoy him. Probably from him being in such a bad mood he was sure, but still it wasn't helping. His parent's were so occupied that they probably wouldn't even realize if he just left. Then again he wasn't sure he should take the chance of getting in trouble from his father.

"Here you are," a woman's kind voice said before setting down a tray of dessert of green tea ice cream and placing a small dish before him.

"Thank you," Cloud replied to the waitress with a forced smile.

She returned the smile before taking away some empty dishes. "Let me refill your drink," she spoke before pouring some more hot tea into his small cup. After clearing the table adequately she gave a small bow before scampering off to another section.

It didn't take Cloud long to polish off the dessert, after all Green Tea ice cream was one of his favorites. He sipped on his drink as he continued to let his eyes wander around the room. He spotted Aerith with her father talking to who he thought was the Magistrate's assistant, but he wasn't really sure. There were too many people on the council and such that he couldn't keep them all in order. Something that he wouldn't dare let his father know. After watching his surroundings for a while more he got up from his seat and left the dinner hall, opening a door that led out to one of the balconies. The room was beginning to grow way too hot and stuffy for him and he desperately needed the fresh air.

Once on the balcony he leaned against the edge while looking up at the sky. It was such a nice night out, too nice of an evening to be kept cooped up in the crowded dinner hall. It would be a perfect night to be out at the lake he couldn't help but think to himself. Yes, a perfect night that he and his boyfriend should be able to share together.

"Zack," he spoke quietly into the night. Where the hell was he? A part of him felt himself becoming angry at the other. Why did he just leave without saying anything to him? Surely Zack knew that he would worry if he just up and left without so much as a goodbye. Especially if he knew he was going to be gone for so long. But then another part of him just wanted to see him again…to know that he was alright to be able to touch and hold him.

Maybe he was just being difficult. After all Zack was a Samurai, things like this happened. But Cloud had always been this way when it came to Zack, and he couldn't help it.

Letting his gaze drop from the sky he looked downwards to the courtyard below. He began to feel a bit dizzy from that however and pushed himself back a little from the railing.

"Why would you be out here all by yourself when there is so much company inside?" A voice asked followed by the sound of a door shutting softly.

Cloud's eyes widened briefly in surprise before he turned around to see the owner of the voice, "Your Excellency," he began softly while letting his eyes travel back downwards to the ground.

"I saw your parents but was sure you wouldn't be around," Hojo explained while taking a few steps forward,

"Well my father insisted that I come tonight," Cloud spoke cautiously while letting his eyes look up slowly. He had only seen the Shogun at the very beginning of the dinner and then he had left out with some others, so he was pretty sure that he had dismissed himself from the dinner early. He hadn't counted on having him come back at all.

"I see," the Shogun replied with a nod. "Well I am glad for that however. It's been a long time since I've seen you."

Cloud could only nod. It had been a long time since he had seen the Shogun, or rather spoken to him. He had seen him around but there was always something going on that prevented them from actually speaking to one another. Either Cloud was on his way to class with Angeal by his side and the Shogun surrounded by his assistants and such. He may catch the boy's eye but Cloud would quickly look away. And he hadn't gone back to his father's office at all since that time before hand so if the Shogun was ever there Cloud was unaware. All in all, he had been doing a pretty good job at avoiding the man. And he had actually begun to think that perhaps the man just didn't really care to pursue him anymore.

"How have you been?" Hojo asked with a bit of a smile.

"Fine, thank you," Cloud replied quickly before reaching back and placing his hand on the edge of the balcony as the same dizzy sensation from earlier came over him.

"I'm happy to hear that," Hojo began while walking up closer to the blond, "I've got to say I was beginning to wonder if you were avoiding me."

Lifting his gaze again Cloud shook his head. Of course he was avoiding him! But he couldn't say that to the man's face, he would only disgrace his family if his father ever got word of it.

"No?" Hojo asked with a tilt of his head.

"I'm sorry you're Excellency I've just been busy," he quickly replied.

"Is that so?" Hojo asked, "even though your friend hasn't been around?"

"What?" Cloud asked while letting his eyes snap forward to look into the man's.

"Yes," Hojo began while pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose, "Zack right?"

Cloud was silent as he continued to stare at the man. Why would he mention Zack? Although Cloud supposed it wasn't a big deal that he knew about Zack being gone, he was the Shogun after all. But still…something about the way he said it.

"Yes, he's away on assignment," Cloud began while pushing himself away from the balcony's side and putting a hand to his head. Things suddenly seemed like they were spinning.

"Right," Hojo continued while reaching out and placing a hand on Cloud's arm, "are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Cloud quickly lied, "I think I just need to go inside and sit down for a bit. If you'll excuse me," he finished before moving to walk away only to stumble briefly before Hojo caught him.

"I don't think you'll be able to make it there," Hojo replied while pushing away some strands of golden hair away from the others face.

Cloud wanted to argue back. To say that he was fine and that he could manage to go back into the dinner hall. But he suddenly felt really tired, and his eyes were all out of focus making his reality spin into a hazy confusion. There wasn't much he could do but listen to whatever Hojo was saying to him at the moment as he supported him against his body. And then everything just seemed to go dark.

* * *

Blinking open his eyes tiredly he lifted a weak hand to his head. His head was throbbing and his whole body seemed to feel like it just wanted to sleep. Shifting a bit on the soft bed his eyes trailed over the room. It was concealed in darkness for the most part, only being illuminated by the soft moonlight that spilled into the room through the thin curtains. But he could still tell that it was extremely spacious, much bigger than his room at home…

Where was he?

He suddenly felt really uneasy and he tried to pull himself up only to fall back against the bed. His head was spinning and his limbs just didn't seem to want to cooperate with him. What was wrong with him?

A soft click of a door shutting caught his attention and blue eyes turned in the general direction of the sound. After a few seconds a figure came into view, and although his focus was a bit off it didn't take him long to make out who it was. His eyes widened slightly and he felt his breath catch in his throat.

"Ah, you're awake," Hojo began while making his way towards the bed and taking a seat on the edge.

"What," Cloud began while his eyes frighteningly looked around at his surroundings.

"You passed out at the dinner, don't you remember?" The man asked while letting his hand gently caress the boys face.

"Where am I?" Cloud asked the nervousness in his voice clearly evident.

"My quarters, it's very late," Hojo explained while letting his fingers trace the outline of Cloud's jaw.

"W, why?" Cloud quickly asked as a feeling of dread quickly over took him.

"Shh," Hojo began softly while letting his hand move into soft blond hair, "don't worry. I told you I won't hurt you Cloud."

His heart was beating insanely fast by this point and he could literally hear it in his ears. He wanted nothing more than to bolt upright and run out of the place and never look back. But the most he was able to do was to lift his arms up and weakly push against the other. It was barely even enough force to feel and he felt tears come to his eyes at this realization.

Hojo caught hold of his wrist before pinning it beside them on the bed. He leaned down the small distance between them and placed a firm kiss against the boy's lips. Cloud let out a whimper as the tears in his eyes began to leak out. He tried to turn his head only to have the Shogun grasp his chin and turn his head back forwards to meet his, this time slipping his tongue in his mouth.

_No no no!!_ Those were the only words running through his head as he screwed his eyes shut tight. This couldn't be happening!

Hojo didn't break their kiss as he repositioned himself above Cloud letting his hand trail down his chest before coming to rest on his stomach. When his fingers slid under his obi Cloud tried with all of his energy to push the man away, but his arms felt like wet noodles.

"Don't!" Cloud cried while blue eyes flew open in terror, "Please don't!"

Hojo didn't give a second thought to Cloud's pleas and cries and just continued to undo the sash. Cloud had managed to roll over onto his side and stretched his arms out, not really knowing why but just in a panic. He grabbed onto the side of the bed with one hand while the other blindly grabbed onto the edge of the nightstand.

He was holding on for all of his worth but it still didn't seem like enough. Hojo slipped an arm around his waist and tugged him slightly trying to get him to release the grip on the objects.

"Stop!" Cloud pleaded as he felt his grip loosening on the nightstand, "Please! Please," Cloud continued to cry. It was the only thing he could really say; even though he knew those words meant nothing to the man. He just continued to struggle with what little energy he had and cry and scream, hoping that maybe…just _maybe_ the man would let him go.

"Cloud," Hojo spoke quietly while reaching over and finally grabbing his hand that was clenched on the bed so that he could turn him back around. He looked down into the fearful, tear streaked face of the boy and allowed a small smirk to appear on his features before leaning down and pressing his full weight on the boy so he wouldn't continue to keep struggling.

"You can't," Cloud started to babble while shaking his head back and forth. He felt the others mouth on his neck and he let out another cry.

"I can't?" Hojo asked quietly while nipping at the boy's neck. "Funny, because I think I am."

It couldn't be like this, it just couldn't! Cloud literally thought he was going to pass out from it all, he couldn't breathe right and his heart was racing. He didn't want things to happen like this. They couldn't! He wasn't supposed to be scared out of his mind and feeling sick at the thought of it. It was supposed to be something special that he shared with the person he loved, not some creepy guy who had some perverted fantasy of him. No, it was supposed to be different, it was supposed to be _Zack_!

That thought alone was enough to send a whole new set of tears to his eyes as the man above him continued to touch and kiss him. Then there was a loud pounding knock on the door and Cloud jumped a bit, wondering just what in the hell could happen to make this evening any worse than it was. Hojo seemed to pause momentarily, almost as if he were debating to continue on or to see who it was that dared come to his quarters un announced at such an hour.

Slowly he pulled himself up before casting the blond a look and then he got up from the bed.

"Stay quiet," was the only thing he said before disappearing out of the room.

Quiet? Cloud strained to listen for any voices that he may recognize. If he made some noise or screamed or something…would whoever it was help him? What if it was just an assistant like Elena, she wouldn't care or help. And if he made the Shogun mad who was to say he wouldn't come back into the room and do something even more terrible to him. He didn't want that, and he wasn't sure if he could chance it.

He didn't seem to have much time to think on it however seeing as how the door opened again and in walked the Shogun. Cloud froze completely as he looked at the man and then the other was pulling him up. Cloud cringed and shut his eyes, not knowing what exactly he was preparing to do. But then he felt him readjusting his obi that had partly come undone before wrapping his arms around his waist and hoisting him up.

Cloud immediately placed his hands on the mans shoulders for balance, still unsure as to what in the world was going on. Then he was set down on his feet, with very wobbly legs but Hojo kept a secure hold on him.

"You need to go," Hojo began in a voice that didn't seem at all happy.

Cloud was beyond confused but he wasn't about to question it and he simply just gave a nod as Hojo led him towards the bedroom door. He paused briefly before they stepped out to wipe the tears away from Cloud's face, although it was pretty pointless because his face was still red and his eyes were swollen.

He was ushered outside the room into the main setting where his eyes fell onto the back of someone familiar. The man turned around once he heard the door open and his eyes narrowed a bit at the sight of the blond.

"He's much better now. I think all he needed was a little rest, right Cloud?" Hojo asked while looking down beside him.

Cloud only nodded before trying to step away only to stumble slightly.

The Samurai was at his side in an instant curling an arm around him to help steady him. "Be careful," Angeal said softly before looking up to the Shogun. "I'll see to it that he gets home okay."

"Please do," Hojo replied as he watched them exit out of his quarters. Once they had stepped out and the door was shut behind them Angeal looked at the two guards who were standing at the entrance with a look of disgust. Surely when the Shogun brought Cloud back here they knew what was going to happen, and Angeal was sure they did nothing at all about it but simply turn their heads.

"I told you," Angeal began once they had gotten further from the Shoguns quarters, "even in the castle you aren't safe. Why are you just going off alone?"

"I wasn't," Cloud started quietly, "I was at the dinner but I just stepped out for a-"

"Exactly," Angeal cut in quickly. "You stepped out, by yourself. And at a dinner function no less. A place where the Shogun is bound to be."

Wait. So Angeal knew after all? Is that why he had been constantly around him all this time?

"Angeal you…" Cloud began while stopping briefly to look at the other.

"I came as soon as I realized you weren't there anymore and the Shogun wasn't around," Angeal explained while looking down to the other. "Nothing too bad happened right?"

Enough had happened! But Cloud was thankful that Angeal had come when he did. If it had been any later…

Nodding Cloud rubbed at his eyes as he felt the tears begin to come back. Angeal let out a sigh before glancing around the empty hallways. He pulled the boy into a comforting embrace before telling him it was alright. Cloud was just a kid after all and Angeal had to remind himself of that. This was all too much for him to be going through.

"Come on," Angeal began while pulling the blond away and glancing down into his weary face. "It's late. I can't take you home now in this condition. The drug is still in your system and you don't look too good. I'll bring you home in the morning; you'll stay at my place tonight."

_Drug?_ Cloud didn't really wrap his head around that at the moment, perhaps because there was just too much going on in his head. He instead just nodded and let Angeal help guide him to wherever they were going.

* * *

"First thing on the list, food!!" Kunsel exclaimed as the continued to make their way through town. "How about we hit the Kisaragi tea house?"

"That does sound good," Zack replied while patting his stomach in thought, "maybe later?"

"What!? Later? I'm hungry now!" Kunsel whined.

Zack gave a brief laugh while looking down to the paper he was holding in his hands. "Well then go for it. But I need to do something first."

"Hmm?" Kunsel asked while glancing over at his friend, "what? Is that a love letter from your girlfriend!?" He asked while reaching over and snatching the paper out of Zack's grasp.

"Hey!" Zack shouted while reaching back for it, "don't rip it!"

"It's just a picture," Kunsel replied in a confused tone.

"I know but it's important," Zack said with a sigh while glancing back down to the paper…

* * *

_"For the whole summer?" The little blond asked while looking up at his friend with wide eyes._

_"Yeah, the whole summer," Zack replied with a bit of a sad smile._

_"Oh," Cloud replied quietly while dropping his gaze to the ground, "that's a really long time."_

_It was a strange thing for both of them; they had always spent every summer together outdoors playing with their friends, spending the night at each others houses and being nearly inseparably. But this summer was going to be different since Zack and his family would be going to Osaka to visit his grandparents._

_"But it'll go by fast!" Zack chimed in, trying to lift his friend's spirits. "Besides, you have all of our friends here! I'm going to be the one by myself!" _

_"I guess," Cloud replied with a nod, "but…still, it won't be the same without you here."_

_"Well…I'm here now!" Zack exclaimed while bumping into Cloud's side playfully. Although it didn't seem to change Cloud's mood at all and he just continued to sit there staring out ahead at the lake._

_"Come on," Zack continued softly, "don't look so sad."_

_"Sorry," Cloud replied while glancing over at the other. Zack just gave him a smile before laying back on the grass and looking up into the night sky at the stars. A moment later there was a soft rustle of clothing as Cloud laid down beside him looking up at the sky also._

_"If we're lucky maybe we can see a shooting star so we can make a wish," Zack explained while letting his eyes scan the sky._

_Cloud instantly did the same, hoping that he would see one so that he could wish for the summer to go by as fast as possible._

_Unfortunately they didn't see any shooting stars that night, but it still didn't keep them from making their wishes anyways. They stayed out together that evening for as long as possible before reluctantly heading back towards their homes. _

_The next day when Zack and his family were getting ready to leave he kept looking next door to see if Cloud was going to come out and say goodbye to him. But then he started to think that maybe his friend was mad that he was leaving and just couldn't bring himself to see him again. After all they had kind of said their goodbyes the night before, but still Zack was sort of just hoping. _

_"Zack, do you have everything?" His mother asked while placing some items in her small bag._

_"Yeah…I'm ready," he replied with a weak smile while walking over towards the rest of his family._

_"Zack!! Wait!"_

_The sound of a door sliding open harshly followed by Natsumi's voice yelling after Cloud to not slam doors caught the other's attention. He turned around to see his smaller friend running down the steps of his front porch before he was practically flying towards Zack._

_"I had to…finish it," Cloud panted out once he was in front of the other._

_"What?" Zack asked with a laugh while placing a hand on the blonds shoulder._

_Seeming to get his breathing under control Cloud looked up into Zack's eyes. "I was up all last night working on it," he explained before pulling out a piece of paper and holding it out towards Zack somewhat shyly. "I drew it for you."_

_Taking the picture from the others hands Zack looked down at it. It showed a dark blue shimmering lake cascaded by trees and a bright starlit sky. It looked just like…_

_"Is this…" Zack started while looking up at his friend._

_Cloud nodded, "Yeah. I thought…it's just last night you said I would be here with all of our friends, and you would be alone. So I thought maybe if you had this and looked at it whenever you felt lonely…that it would remind you of me, since it's our place."_

_Looking back down to the picture Zack couldn't help the huge smile that spread across his face. And he also didn't let the shooting star in the picture go unnoticed either._

_When he looked back at his friend he saw the tears in his eyes before Cloud instantly latched onto him, squeezing him with all of his might._

_"I'm going to miss you," Cloud spoke with a sniffle._

_Zack returned the hug with just as much emotion, "I'm going to miss you too. Thank you." _

_"Zack," his mothers voice called softly in a tone that was very understanding but also silently letting him know that they needed to leave._

_Pulling away from his friend Zack wiped the tears away from those bright blue eyes. "Hey, don't cry," he began while keeping a smile on his face, "this summer is going to go by so fast, I'll be back before you know it! Okay?"_

_Cloud gave a nod before returning the smile, "okay."_

_The hardest thing for Zack was having to walk away from Cloud at that moment as he and his family departed from their home. He cast a look back to Cloud and waved to him and Cloud returned it enthusiastically. And even when they had gotten pretty far away from their home Zack couldn't help but to look back one last time, and he couldn't be sure, but he was certain he saw a spiky little blond head there still watching him. _

_

* * *

  
_

Folding up the small picture Zack tucked it away in a pocket. Cloud was ten years old when he had given him that picture the summer before he went away. And still Zack had it and kept it with him whenever he went away somewhere. On every assignment that required him to be gone for a while he always had it with him. And that hadn't changed this last time around either. He had practically looked at the picture every night since he had been away. Every time he looked at it he wondered how Cloud was, if he was alright, if he was _safe_.

It had been too long since he had left Edo, weeks, longer? He honestly had lost track of time but the whole time he was away he thought about Cloud. He just hoped that Angeal had been keeping a close eye on him like he told Zack that he would. He trusted Angeal more than anyone else so he was sure that he would honor his word, but still he couldn't help but to worry.

"So if you don't want to grab something to eat mind if I bail?" Kunsel asked while pointing off in the direction of the restaurant.

"No go ahead!" Zack replied with a grin. He understood his friend's hunger, hell he was starving too but he just had to see Cloud. There was no way he was going to be able to do anything else without knowing that he was okay.

Once he and his friend parted their separate ways Zack continued on to the castle. He was tired and hungry, but that hardly mattered to him at the moment. Once he had stepped into the castle he quickly made his way through the place, trying to avoid small talk with people who were happy to see him back. He was in such a rush that he barely realized that he almost walked right past Angeal who reached out and grabbed hold of his arm.

Turning to look at who had grabbed hold of him Zack's eyes widened in surprise.

"You seem to be in a rush," Angeal half joked while giving his pupil a smile.

"Angeal!" Zack beamed while embracing his mentor. It seemed like it had been forever since he had seen the man.

Patting Zack on the back a few times Angeal let out a sigh. Zack was the only one who he would allow to do such a thing, but he had come to expect it whenever they were apart for periods of time.

"You don't look too banged up," Angeal commented while pulling away and looking over the other.

"Of course not!" Zack exclaimed.

"Come on, I have something you need to see," Angeal began while turning to walk off in a different direction from where Zack was headed.

"Um," Zack began while looking forward once more in the direction of Cloud's home. "Actually I was…"

"Come on," Angeal simply said again. Zack let out a sigh. Whatever it was shouldn't take long at all and then he would be on his way back to Cloud's. He caught up with Angeal and followed him throughout the castle before they came to the man's quarters. Angeal opened the door and allowed Zack to step inside before he followed after him.

"So what is it?" Zack asked while walking further into his mentor's home. It wasn't the first time he had been there however, in fact he knew the place really well and made himself feel at home whenever he came by. He had just stepped inside the common area before stopping altogether as his gaze landed on the blond before him.

There sitting on the ground was Cloud with his sketchbook in hand. He glanced up at the sound of the voices, letting blue eyes fall onto the Samurai before him. He blinked a few times, almost as if he were trying to make sure he was seeing correctly. Then he gently closed his sketchbook and set it on the ground beside him.

"Zack," he said in just a whisper.

"I have some things I need to take care of," Angeal broke in before patting Zack on the shoulder and then exiting his home.

"Cloud," Zack began while walking towards his boyfriend. Cloud got up to his feet and just before Zack went to pull him into an embrace the blond took a step back.

Zack's face held complete confusion as he stared back into blue eyes that seemed to be full of anger and sadness. He wasn't sure why but a look like that had never been directed at him before and he felt his stomach drop from the sight of it.

Turning away Cloud crossed his arms over his chest while walking towards the window and peering outside. His mind was so conflicted at the moment. He was happy as could be to see Zack was alright, that he was there with him again. But he just couldn't help the anger that he felt also. Was he being unfair? He didn't know really, but it was how he felt.

"Cloud?" Zack questioned hesitantly while taking a few steps closer so that he was standing right behind the other. He wanted to reach out and touch him, to pull him into his arms and kiss and let him know how much he missed him. But seeing as how his boyfriend didn't seem very thrilled with him at the time he decided to refrain.

"When did you get back?" Cloud asked softly while keeping his gaze on the scenery outside the window.

"Now," Zack answered quickly, "I just got back into Edo…I haven't even been home yet. I just came straight here to see you."

Closing his eyes at those words Cloud let out a sigh. It definitely sounded like something Zack would do. Putting aside everything just to come and see him. But Cloud was still angry, and he wasn't about to just cave in like that.

"Do you know how long it's been?" Cloud asked while opening his eyes slightly. "You've never been gone so long. Especially without me knowing anything."

How long _had _it been? Zack really didn't know the answer, although he knew it was definitely a lot longer than he usually would be away, so Cloud was right about that. But he didn't plan on it, it wasn't as if he wanted to be gone for so long. Cloud understood that didn't he? If it was up to Zack he would've remained right here by his side.

"I'm sorry," Zack began with a shake of his head, "everything happened so suddenly that I didn't get a chance to tell you. I told Angeal to let you know."

"Of course," Cloud replied, not seeming to be at all pleased with that response.

Zack didn't like the way this conversation was going. He didn't blame Cloud for being angry with him he supposed. After all he had left him in Edo while things were pretty sticky to go off on an assignment of his own. Cloud probably felt abandoned somehow at Zack's departure. He understood that, really he did. But he wanted to make up for all of that now. He was there now…with him.

Wrapping his arms around the smaller one Zack held onto him tightly while resting his chin on his shoulder. He felt Cloud let out a shaky breath, and although he didn't exactly do much to reciprocate it, he didn't pull away…and Zack was thankful for that.

"Why did you just leave like that?" Cloud asked, the tone in his voice sounding a bit betrayed. "You've never just left me…_ever_."

"I'm sorry," Zack spoke again, feeling the guilt really begin to sink in.

"I worried about you," Cloud began while leaning on the windowsill and Zack just held him all the more tighter so Cloud didn't move further away from him. "Everyday," he added.

"I'll never do something like that again, I promise," Zack spoke quietly before placing a soft kiss on his boyfriend's cheek. He slowly felt the tension within Cloud begin to dissipate and after a few moments he turned in his arms to face him. Zack looked into those blue eyes, seeming to search desperately for forgiveness that he hoped Cloud would grant him.

"I'm glad you made it back safely," Cloud said while sliding his hands up the Samurai's arms before hooking his arms around his neck and holding onto him tightly. Zack returned the embrace, seeming to melt into it as he let out a sigh of relief. Cloud was angry yeah, but he was happier to be back with Zack and that outweighed his anger.

"I missed you so much," Zack breathed before leaning in to capture Cloud's lips in a much awaited kiss. It started out as a soft touch initially before they pulled apart only to place more small kisses against each others lips. Then Zack caught the other's bottom lip between his causing Cloud to let out a small moan as he twined his fingers into silky raven hair. The kiss only grew more passionate after that and Cloud moved his hands down Zack's chest before moving to encircle his waist. It was this small movement that caused Zack to flinch and Cloud immediately pulled away from him.

"What's wrong?" Cloud asked with concern.

"Ah it's nothing," Zack replied with a smile before placing his hand on his side briefly, "just a little bruise."

"You're hurt?" Cloud asked while dropping his gaze to Zack's torso before lightly running his hand over the material of clothing.

"No no, it's nothing really," Zack continued while catching his boyfriends hand in his.

Cloud shot Zack a look that clearly said he wasn't buying it before pulling away his hand from the others. He gently ran his hand over Zack's side once more before applying a bit of pressure. This time Zack let out a slight hiss and Cloud looked back into his eyes before quickly apologizing.

"What happened?" Cloud asked while automatically working the front of Zack's kimono open partially. He pulled the right side down a bit, letting it slip a little off the other's shoulder so that he could better see his side. He noticed definite bruising on the man's side, but also what appeared to be a cut. How deep it went he wasn't sure but he still didn't like the look of it.

"Zack!" Cloud began while letting his eyes fly back up to look into the others face, "you need to fix this, it could get infected!"

Glancing down to his side Zack gave a bit of a frown. "I cleaned it up a bit. It's just a graze anyways, it'll heal."

Letting out a frustrated sigh Cloud pulled his boyfriend over to a seat before making him sit down. And then without another word he had disappeared down a hall in Angeal's home. Zack lifted an eyebrow as he heard the sound of what sounded like cabinets opening and closing. He wondered what Cloud was doing and if he even knew where anything was. But it seemed like he did from the way he went straight down the hall. Just how long had the blond been at Angeal's anyways? In fact, why was he here to being with? Zack hadn't really given it much thought upon his arrival back since he had been so glad to see Cloud again, but now he was wondering. Maybe Angeal just thought it was easier this way to keep an eye on him.

A second later Cloud had reemerged with a small rag tossed over his shoulder and a basin of water. He seemed to have something secured under his arm as well but Zack couldn't exactly make it out. Without a word Cloud sat beside him while placing the items on the floor and then he was dipping the rag in the water and ringing it out a bit before tentatively placing it on Zack's wound.

"Does that hurt?" Cloud asked softly while keeping his eyes focused on the task at hand.

"No," Zack replied while watching Cloud closely. He noticed the way his golden eyebrows furrowed slightly and he bit his lip. It was something that Zack realized Cloud did when he was angry, or frustrated about something. He was about to ask what was wrong before Cloud spoke up again.

"If you're going to go away on dangerous assignments you need to make sure to take care of yourself," Cloud somewhat scolded before dipping the rag back into the basin. "I don't," he continued while gently applying the rag back to the wound, "like to see you hurt."

A warm smile touched Zack's lips and he leaned down to press a kiss on top of blonde spikes. He would let Cloud scold him, he knew it was out of love, and it was that caring that made Zack's heart swell with love. Just as he was protective of Cloud, in his own way Cloud was protective of Zack too.

Dropping the rag in the basin after he had finished cleaning the area Cloud let his eyes travel back to the injury.

"You should probably put something else on it. To make sure it doesn't get infected," he explained while letting his fingers lightly run over the darkened bruise. He let his fingers idle momentarily before running his hand up a bit higher to trail across Zack's chest and rest on his shoulder briefly. He let his fingers run across the smooth skin before tearing his gaze away quickly as he felt his face heat up. "But I don't know where Angeal keeps anything like that so, I'll just have to bandage it for now," he finished quickly before picking up the cloth bandages.

Zack noticed the blush that had graced his boyfriends cheeks and he wanted nothing more than to take him into his arms at that moment. He had missed him so much, and from just that small touch of Cloud's small hand against his skin, it practically sent his mind into overdrive.

Cloud had already begin to apply the bandage, making sure to secure it as he wrapped it around the Samurai's torso a few times. "I think that should be good," Cloud spoke quietly. "It doesn't hurt right?" He asked again while looking back into Zack's eyes.

"No," Zack replied while holding the blonds' gaze. Their eyes seemed to lock, neither of them seeming to even blink as they held their intense gaze. But Cloud was the one to finally look away as he slid the material back over Zack's exposed shoulder.

"Good," he said softly before collecting the items on the floor and heading back down the hall to put them away.

Zack let out a sigh as he readjusted his kimono. It was probably a good thing that Cloud walked away when he did, after all they were at Angeal's so they couldn't get too carried away with anything.

Stepping back into the room Cloud took up his place beside Zack once more and was given that wide grin that Zack always saved for him.

"You seem to be pretty comfortable here," Zack began while leaning back on his hands.

"Well, I've been coming here for a bit," Cloud explained while averting his gaze briefly. "It was you right? That made Angeal stick by me while you were gone?"

Zack simply nodded in response. "I told him I couldn't take the assignment without making sure you were looked after. And since he wasn't going he didn't have a problem with keeping an eye on you."

Cloud nodded. He had figured as much, although it was hard to get Angeal to tell him much of anything he came to his own conclusions.

"So then did you tell him…everything?" Cloud asked while peering back over at his boyfriend.

Pausing briefly Zack tilted his head. "I told him that the Shogun had been trying to get close to you. But Angeal already had suspected the same so he wasn't really surprised."

"Does he know…about us?" Cloud continued to ask. So far as he knew nobody knew that he and Zack were together. But at the same time Cloud knew just how much Zack admired and respected Angeal. So he wouldn't be really surprised if Zack had told his mentor about them. He didn't know Angeal well enough to know what the man would think, but he knew Zack would only tell him if he knew he could absolutely trust him.

"I don't know," Zack replied while leaning forward, "maybe. I mean I didn't tell him, but he may have some idea considering everything. Or, just like everyone else thinks he may just think we're best friends. But…Angeal's always sort of been able to read me."

Cloud didn't reply as he soaked in that information and Zack continued on.

"Would it bother you if he did know?"

Not hesitating for a second Cloud shook his head, "I trust Angeal…because you trust him. And I know you have good judgment. Besides, he's been really good to me while you were away."

"So everything has been okay?" Zack asked with a hint of worry.

Aside from the night of the dinner everything was fine. Even though that evening was a nightmare that he was trying desperately to forget. But it was in the past, and Cloud didn't see a reason to let Zack know about it.

"Yeah, everything's been fine," Cloud replied with a small smile.

Zack returned the smile as relief washed through him, he was waiting for that response ever since he had gotten back. To make sure that Cloud was indeed safe while he was away. He had been so worried while he was away, thinking of all the things that the Shogun may try to do to the younger one. But now that it was officially confirmed that things were fine Zack let himself relax completely.

"You don't know how glad I am to hear that," Zack began while pulling the smaller one into his arms. Cloud folded himself into the Samurai's arms closing his eyes and reveling in his warmth. Zack was back now and that was all that mattered, he didn't want to ruin their reunion about telling him about what had transpired…or what had _almost_ happened. Truthfully, he didn't think he could even if he wanted.

* * *

**Authors Note:** *Crawls out of the dark abyss and looks around* Ah! Please forgive me for the late update of this chapter! I had some serious computer issues and I had to get my tower fixed, not to mention that I've been having health issues as of lately, so I really do have reasons! But I apologize none the less! I know there was a lot going on in this chapter, but that will stat to be sorted out in the next chapter and so on. As for Cloud's state when he woke up in the Shogun's quarters...think back to the dinner. Hmm. And why did Hojo know about Zack's absence? And is it really a good idea for Cloud to be so secretive from Zack? The story is going to get more in depth from this point on, many twists and turns. And like I said...hope you guys dont squirm to easy! I will post the next chapter much more sooner than I did this one, lol I promise. Thanks so much guys for your patience! Until next chapter! Ja ne!


	8. Color Of Love

Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters and don't make any money from writing this story! Seriously.

* * *

It was an extremely hot day out, the sun beaming down brightly with not even so much as a little breeze. Cloud was glad that he had decided on wearing one of his lighter yukata rather than a heavy kimono. He pushed up his sleeves briefly on the blue fabric as he made his way throughout the town.

There were many people sitting on the sides of the roads in partially shaded areas as kids ran through the streets no doubt heading to the lake. He felt like he had been walking forever when in fact it was probably just minutes. His mom and he had come into town earlier, his mother wanting to do some shopping and Cloud deciding to tag along. However after going with his mom to a few places he started to become irritated from the heat. They went to the Kisaragi restaurant for lunch and after that Cloud had separated from his mom telling her he would see her back at home. She however had much more shopping she wanted to do and simply waved him off.

However now that he was on his own he found himself heading towards the dojo that he was sure Zack was at now at this time. He knew that he usually went there to train but right about now he should've been finishing up.

Finally making his way to his destination he glanced up at the building before climbing up the few steps before coming to the door. He carefully slid it open before peering inside, the sound of swords clanging together catching his attention. There in front of him he saw Zack and Angeal with swords crossed, Zack seeming to be putting forth an effort to try to push Angeal back before his mentor gave a sudden push and sent the young Samurai stumbling backwards.

It was at that moment when Zack slightly turned his head in the direction of the doorway, noticing the streak of sunlight that was entering the room.

"Cloud?" He asked while straightening from his stance a bit. But no sooner than that had Angeal knocked him flat on his back with his sword pointed at his throat.

Cloud couldn't help but to wince. Even though it was practice he still didn't like the view of a blade pointed at his boyfriend's throat.

"What was the first the thing I taught you?" Angeal asked slightly out of breath while staring down at Zack.

"Ah, never let your guard down," Zack replied with a sheepish smile.

"That's right," Angeal began while extending his hand to the other, "never. No matter what."

Having pulled Zack to his feet the Samurai scratched the back of his head. "Sorry," Zack replied before letting his gaze trail back over to Cloud.

Finally stepping inside completely Cloud gave a bow when Angeal looked over to him as well.

"Forgive me for interrupting," he apologized while biting his bottom lip a bit nervously.

Angeal waved a hand before securing his sword back in its sheath. "Don't worry about it, we were just about finished for the day anyways."

Cloud nodded as Angeal walked over and clapped a hand on Zack's shoulder.

"I'll see you at the conference tonight," Angeal explained as Zack nodded, still trying to catch his breath.

"I'll be there," Zack replied as Angeal walked further into the dojo and disappeared into another room before closing the door behind him.

Letting out a sigh Zack placed his hands on his hips before giving Cloud a wide grin.

"I'm sorry," Cloud quickly apologized while walking over closer to Zack, "I distracted you."

"A good distraction," Zack replied while leaning forward and placing a chaste kiss on Cloud's lips. "What are you doing in town now anyway?"

"I came out with my mom, she wanted to shop," Cloud explained as he watched Zack move to the other side of the room. He had just been wearing his hakama to train in, exposing his bare chest that was glistening with sweat. His chest was still rising and falling faster than usual as he tried to regain his breathing from his practice session. Cloud couldn't help but to let his eyes linger on the muscular chest and arms of his boyfriend. It was rare that he saw him like this and got to drink in his beauty, but whenever he did his heart beat sped up a little and he felt a flush come to his face. Hopefully Zack would just think it was from the heat outside though.

"So you have free time today?" Zack asked while shrugging on the upper part of his clothing, not bothering with fastening it at all and instead just leaving it open as he secured his sword back in its sheath.

"Yeah," Cloud began while blinking rapidly, tearing his gaze away from Zack's chest to look back into his eyes that were nearing closer.

"Good," Zack started while throwing an arm around the blonds' shoulders, "so can I be a bit stingy with you today? I kind of want to keep you to myself."

Cloud smiled as he nodded his head, "that's fine with me."

Leaning down to kiss Cloud properly this time Zack cupped his chin with his hand before pulling back gently with a smile. "Well then let's get out of here," he explained while ushering Cloud out of the dojo.

He made an agonizing sound as they stepped out into the bright sun and Cloud only laughed a bit.

"Too hot for you?" Cloud asked as they walked down the steps.

"This is insane," Zack replied while lifting a hand to shield the sunlight from his eyes.

"I'm sure it doesn't help that you've been practicing for a while too," Cloud added as they began to walk through the streets.

"I know," Zack began while looking down at himself, "I'm all sweaty. I think I need to get cleaned up first."

Looking over at Zack Cloud nodded in understanding.

"You want to take a bath?" He asked the other questioningly.

"I definitely need to," Zack replied while scrunching his nose a bit, "you don't want to hang around a smelly guy right?"

Cloud only laughed as Zack bumped into his side playfully. They continued on with their casual chatter as they made their way back to Zack's home. Once inside they removed their shoes before stepping further into the house and noting that it was rather quiet.

"Where are your parents?" Cloud asked while looking towards Zack.

"My dad is working, and my mom went out with my aunt earlier today," Zack replied, seeming to be used to coming home to an empty house at this time of the day.

It had been a while since Cloud had been to Zack's home really. Ever since he had been in the castle it just had changed somehow. He made his way into Zack's room but the Samurai disappeared into the washroom. He sat down on his bed before letting a small smile touch his lips as he looked at his surroundings. Everything still looked the same from the last time he was there and that somehow made him happy. Reaching over to a shelf he let his fingers trail over the spines of a few books. He wondered if Zack had actually read any of these. Chuckling at the thought he simply fell back onto the bed. It wasn't exactly cool in the home either but it felt a whole lot better than the blistering heat outside. He let his eyes fall closed as he shifted on the cool linens of the bed. It was comfortable enough for him to put him at ease and he felt himself becoming really lazy. His eyes remained closed for a while as he simply relaxed on the bed, he wasn't sure how long he stayed that way though but he finally opened them when he felt cool drops of water land on his face.

Blinking his eyes open he found himself staring back into deep blue. Zack gave him a smile before leaning up slightly.

"I thought you fell asleep on me," he explained while reaching out and pushing damp blond spikes away from the boys face.

"No, I was just relaxing," Cloud replied while lifting his hands to run through Zack's wet hair, "did you even dry this at all?"

"Not much, it feels better this way with the heat," he replied with a shake of his head.

"Move!" Cloud began with a laugh and pushing at the others chest, "you're getting water all on me."

"Sorry, sorry," Zack laughed before collapsing on the bed beside Cloud.

Propping himself up on his elbow Cloud looked at his boyfriend who looked completely refreshed now that he had taken a bath and changed into a casual black yukata. It was nice to see him in just casual clothes once in a while since more times than not he was in his Samurai attire. While Cloud did like it, he also liked to see him relaxed and just comfortable.

Scooting closer to his boyfriend he lowered his head once again and let it rest against Zack's chest. He felt the others arm wrap around his waist securely and he let out a content sigh. Days like these were meant to be lazy and called for just lounging around in each others arms. It was the simplest thing probably but to them it meant more than anything else.

"Hey are you hungry?" Zack asked while turning his head a bit to glance at Cloud.

"Mm no," he replied with a shake of his head, "I ate with my mom at the Kisiragi's earlier."

"Oh that sounds good," Zack started with a pat of his stomach.

"You must be though," Cloud continued while lifting his head up to look at the other, "after all that practicing"

"A little," Zack answered before letting out a long dramatic sigh, "but I'm too comfortable to get up now."

Laughing a little Cloud sat up on the bed fully. "I'll make you something," he offered while getting ready to slide off the bed.

"No!" Zack began while catching his arm, "it's okay babe. I got it."

"I don't mind," Cloud assured him but Zack was having none of it.

"Just relax," Zack started while getting out of the bed, "I'll be right back. I'm just going to get a snack."

Cloud honestly didn't mind. He liked to do things for Zack, but as usual Zack was just…being Zack. He couldn't help but to shake his head at that and he stretched out on the bed again, his eyes falling onto the shelf beside the others bed once more. He noticed a piece of paper sticking out from between two of the books on the stand. He didn't notice it before and wondered what it was. Not being able to stop his curiosity he leaned forward and slipped the piece of paper from out of its confines and unfolded it gently.

He furrowed his eyebrows briefly before his face took on a look of disbelief. This was…Cloud had given this drawing to Zack years ago. This badly drawn _amatureish_ picture he gave him the summer before he left to visit family. But…he kept it all the time?

"And my mom saves the day!" Zack announced upon entering the room holding a small dish in his hands, "she always sets something aside just for me."

Glancing up from the picture to Zack he noticed the other giving him a questioning look.

"What's that?" Zack asked while taking a seat back on the bed and looking at the paper in the boy's hands. He finally realized what it was and a small smile broke across his face. "Oh," he said in realization before taking a bit out of one of the sushi rolls.

"I can't believe you kept this," Cloud began with a laugh.

"Of course I kept it," Zack replied, "you gave it to me."

Cloud blushed at those words as he shook his head.

"Yeah but it's…not good," Cloud continued while looking at the picture. He couldn't believe he used to draw this way, not that he was conceited but it was amazing how much he had progressed over the years.

"What are you talking about? It's great," Zack shot back while stuffing another bite into his mouth. "Besides, do you remember what you told me when you gave me that? There was so much emotion behind it and you spent a lot of time drawing it for me."

Looking back down to the paper Cloud did remember staying up the whole night that evening to finish the drawing for Zack. He had just desperately wanted Zack to have something to be able to think of him by. He didn't want Zack to feel lonely and he had thought that this picture would help him. He could've laughed at that now, but at the time he really thought it would help.

Reaching over Zack pulled it out of his hands before giving Cloud a joking glare. "You gave it to me. It's mine, so don't think about tearing it up or anything."

"It's really that important to you?" Cloud couldn't help but to ask.

"Well yeah," Zack began while rubbing at the back of his neck briefly, "when I was in Osaka that summer I looked at this picture every night. It was nice having something familiar along with me….I still take it with me even when I go away now. I don't know, it's just something that stuck with me I guess."

Cloud fell silent at that. He had no idea that Zack really held the silly picture so close to his heart. But…it made him feel good that it did. And it just reinforced Zack's love for him. The fact that he still carried this around with him whenever he went away, it made Cloud's heart swell to know that Zack wanted to have something that reminded him of the other at all times.

Zack was just preparing to stuff another piece of sushi into his mouth before his eyes fell onto Cloud and he noticed him wiping away a tear.

"Cloud?" He asked while placing the food back on the plate, "what's wrong?"

Shaking his head quickly he wiped away another tear. "Nothing, I just…"

He didn't know what he really wanted to say, he had a ton of emotions running through him at the moment. But maybe it was just all waiting to spill from him. After everything that had happened recently, him missing Zack while he was away, the events with the Shogun, Aerith and her crush, Zack returning and the desire he had been feeling for him for so long considerably building up. All of that…and somehow this _picture_ just was the icing on the cake.

It didn't seem like he could find any words really to even begin to explain it all. But at the moment he was…happy. Happy because he was with Zack, that he _had _Zack. And for some reason he seemed to realize just how lucky he was to have him. Zack could be with anyone…he could be with Aerith, and yet…he was with him.

Without another thought he threw himself at the other, sobbing against his chest and clenching his fist in the fabric at his chest.

Zack was confused more than anything, looking down to the blond who was now clutching at him tightly and crying. After getting over his initial shock he quickly pushed away his plate before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and running a hand up and down his back soothingly.

"It's okay," he began softly, "what's wrong?"

Shaking his head Cloud moved his arms upward before encircling them around Zack's neck. Nothing was wrong…he was just overwhelmed for lack of a better word.

"Cloud," Zack started while tightening his hold on the other. He couldn't help but begin to worry. Did something happen? Cloud seemed fine a moment ago…did he say something wrong?

"I love you," Cloud suddenly spoke while clinging tightly onto the Samurai, "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Zack said softly without a moment's hesitation, "what brought this on so suddenly?"

"I just," Cloud began while pulling away slightly and wiping at his eyes again. "Why did you show me that stupid picture!?"

"What?" Zack asked with a raised brow. And then it all sort of hit him. Cloud had gotten emotional over Zack keeping the drawing all this time. He couldn't help but to let a grin spread across his face, and he was relieved to know it was that and that something else wasn't the matter. "Hey you were the one snooping around and found it, I didn't show you."

Cloud looked a bit guilty at that and Zack only laughed before pulling him back into his arms again. They stayed like that for a while in each others arms while Zack placed kisses every so often on top of the blonds head.

"Are you okay now?" Zack asked while rubbing Cloud's back.

"Yeah," Cloud began before letting out a sigh, "are you going to tease me about this now?"

Zack gave a bit of a chuckle before shaking his head. While he did like to tease and joke around with Cloud a lot, this wasn't something that he thought would be funny to tease him about. Besides, he knew Cloud was sensitive, so it didn't really surprise him that he reacted that way. In fact, he thought it was cute.

Looking up at Zack Cloud placed a hand on the side of his face gently. "I don't know what I would do without you," Cloud softly admitted before lowering his gaze briefly, "I guess I just was thinking…how lucky I am to have you."

Zack kept his gaze on Cloud, even when the other lowered eyes not seeming to be able to look the Samurai in the face when he said that. Taking Cloud's hand that was resting against his face he gently pressed a kissed into his palm causing Cloud to look back up at him.

"_I'm_ the lucky one Cloud," he replied sincerely as he locked their gazes.

Cloud's eyes began to water again slightly at that and he raised his other hand up to gently brush through raven hair.

"Zack," he began quietly as a few tears ran down his face. A soft kiss was pressed against his lips a moment later and his eyes fell closed. Their lips stayed together for a moment before separating briefly only to reunite again a second later. It wasn't deepened or anything like that, just the touching of their lips. It was sweet and loving, and it was enough to make Cloud's stomach flap around with butterflies.

When they pulled apart their eyes connected once more and Zack was wiping away the tears from Cloud's face. The blond gave a small smile before hooking his arms around Zack's neck then Zack was leaning in to kiss him once more. This time capturing his bottom lip and swiping his tongue at the seam of his lips. Cloud eagerly parted his lips, allowing Zack's tongue to invade his mouth in the most delicious way. He pulled him closer as he felt Zack's arms slip around his waist and hold him tight as his tongue continued to caress his own. Cloud moaned into the others mouth softly just as Zack leaned his body weight against his so that Cloud lay back on the bed with the Samurai above him.

They stayed kissing passionately that way for a while, not seeming to be able to get enough of each other. It had only been a little over a week since Zack had gotten back, so they both were still trying to soak up as much of the other as possible.

"Zack," Cloud whimpered when he felt him begin to place kisses on his neck. It was one of his weak spots and Zack was well aware of it. He let out a shaky breath while inclining his head, giving Zack better access to his neck as he clutched at his back.

It felt so good, being here together with Zack. The closeness that the both of them were sharing, this intimate moment. Cloud wanted nothing more than for it to last forever. He wanted to savor every little thing about it. But more than that…he wanted more from this moment. It was something he wanted for a while now, and while Zack had been away he only longed for him more. Ever since that time before when they had been interrupted, there hadn't been an adequate moment. And it didn't seem like Zack ever wanted to bring it up. Cloud only could think that it was because Zack thought that maybe Cloud really wasn't ready, that he had been rushing ahead that last time. And Zack…gentleman that he was, would never push Cloud. But…Cloud wanted to go further more than anything. He needed Zack. But he knew that the only way that would happen was if he told Zack that for himself, to let him know without a doubt what he wanted. Otherwise he knew Zack would respect the boundaries and not attempt to go further.

"Zack," he started, however the name spilled from his lips in a moan. Shaking his head briefly to clear it of its lust momentarily he ran a hand through dark hair, tugging slightly to gain the others attention. Zack pulled away, his eyes falling onto Cloud as he gazed at him with a somewhat heated look. It was a look that Cloud had never seen in his boyfriends eyes and he felt himself blush even more so.

"Sorry," Zack softly spoke; automatically thinking that he had done something to make Cloud feel uncomfortable.

"Why?" Cloud asked in confusion while reaching out and cupping Zack's face in his hands. "Zack…you don't have to hold yourself back. I don't want you to."

Zack stared back into blue eyes, trying to read them in their sincerity. They looked away briefly from his in what was probably embarrassment before shifting back to meet his again.

"I," Cloud continued, "I need you Zack. I don't want to wait anymore," he finally admitted. His cheeks were permanently stained with a blush, but he didn't care, he needed Zack to know. He wrapped his arms loosely around his neck again, letting out another shaky breath as he closed his eyes briefly. He opened them once more, although now they were half lidded and blazing with a fierce desire. "Make love to me Zack…please."

"Cloud," Zack breathed while scooping the other up into his arms and clutching him to him tightly. He thought his heart was going to burst from his chest. He had wanted so much for Cloud to want this too, to want _him_. He wanted nothing more than to love him like he had been longing to do for so long, and lately it was becoming more difficult to try to ignore. But Zack wanted to make sure that Cloud was ready…but he had no doubt at all in his mind now that he was. And he could tell from the look in the blond's eyes that he meant every single word he spoke.

Cloud could only grip Zack tighter as he felt the tension melt away from the warrior's body, he hadn't even realized it was there before but he definitely could feel the difference. It almost pained him to know that Zack was feeling the same way but was trying to refrain from fear of making Cloud uneasy. Zack…always putting his feelings before his own.

They got caught in a searing kiss as Zack lowered them back onto the bed. His heart was racing, but he wasn't going to rush this. Not at all, he was going to make love to Cloud like he deserved. He was going to pour all of his love and desire for the artist in every kiss, touch and caress.

"You didn't need to say please," Zack began softly while gently nipping at his boyfriend's ear, "I'll more than gladly comply."

A shiver ran through Cloud's body, whether it was from the sensation of Zack nipping at his ear or the words he had just uttered Cloud wasn't sure. But he didn't have too long to think about it before he felt himself becoming lost in Zack's touches. His hands seemed to be everywhere, touching him in the perfect ways to make his body shudder with want and crave him more. He continued to clutch and pull at the other, wanting to feel more, trying to keep them as close as possible.

Zack gently slipped the yukata from off of Cloud's shoulder, sliding it down just enough to stop at the blond's elbow. He pressed his lips softly against the smooth, warm skin as Cloud squirmed a bit beneath him letting out a soft sigh. Trailing his hand up the other side he carefully mimicked his actions, sliding the material off the other shoulder before running his fingers over the heated skin. Just seeing this much of Cloud exposed was enough to excite Zack and he lowered his hands to the obi around the smaller ones waist and began to unfasten it.

Cloud felt his breath catch in his throat as he watched Zack's slender fingers work away the sash. In a moment he was pulling it away completely and dropping it beside them on the floor, only seeming to hesitate briefly before sliding his hand under the garment and running his fingers up the other's flat stomach and up to his chest.

Cloud closed his eyes at the feeling, it was a mixture between pleasure and nervousness and he had to remind himself to breathe. He felt a small shift on the bed as Zack's hand trailed back down his side to rest on his bare hip, his thumb gently caressing the skin before he was bringing up his other hand to completely open and pull away the garment.

There was a moment of complete stillness after that. Zack's hands seeming to stop their touches and ministrations, and the only thing that Cloud was aware of was his heartbeat, Zack's breathing, and the fact that he was now completely naked. He wanted to open his eyes, to look into Zack's face and see what it was he was thinking. And at the same time he didn't want to.

Zack couldn't help but to admire the body before him. Cloud was absolutely breathtaking. From his lithe form to his smooth skin and taut stomach, Zack couldn't have imagined him to be any more beautiful than he was. His eyes traveled up to the blond's face noticing the heavy blush that still remained on his cheeks and that had begun to make its way downwards, tingeing his neck and chest lightly with pink. It only seemed to add more to his appeal and Zack couldn't resist any longer. He leaned down and captured those bruised kissed lips, eliciting a small moan from Cloud.

"You're perfect," Zack breathed once they had pulled away.

Cloud partially opened his eyes as he stared back at Zack. Perfect? His boyfriend was crazy. He was far from it. He was a runt! But…if Zack thought so then…well that was all that mattered to him. He just wanted to be more than enough for him and him only.

"Don't embarrass me," Cloud spoke quietly while turning his head to the side.

"It's true though," Zack replied while running his hands up the sides of the others thighs. He started to trail kisses back down his neck, scattering them across his chest before flicking his tongue out briefly over a pink nipple. Cloud tensed for a moment, but when Zack took it completely into his mouth he let out a whimper while arching up slightly against the Samurai.

"Does that feel good?" Zack asked while turning lustful blue eyes upwards.

Cloud could only nod as Zack did it again before making his way over to the other side. When Cloud arched up against him again Zack rolled his hips slightly against him causing Cloud's mouth to fall open in a silent cry. That had felt too good, and he rocked his hips upwards dying to feel more of that friction again. Zack met his movements each time, pressing them harder together.

"Zack," Cloud gasped while reaching out to pull the other closer to him. Then he was pulling at his clothing. It only seemed to be getting in the way now and he was having none of that.

Catching on to what Cloud was doing Zack pulled away before working at his clothing. It didn't take long for him at all before he was shrugging off the garment, pushing it aside without a second thought before leaning back over Cloud and settling between his legs.

Small, shy hands ran up the Samurai's chest, feeling the strong muscles beneath his fingertips before circling around and running up and down his back, feeling the muscles ripple beneath his touch. He took in every inch of Zack, every scar that covered his statuesque body. Even with them they didn't take away from his radiance. He looked back up into blue eyes that almost seemed to glow before he was pulling him down closer to him. Their bodies pressed firmly together, sending a pleasant sensation through the both of them at the skin to skin contact. Cloud wrapped his arms around Zack tightly before burying his face in the crook of his neck. It felt nice to hold him this way, so close and so intimate. It just felt…so right.

It seemed as if Zack understood this as well as he let Cloud hold him close to him and he in turn melted into his embrace, pressing soft kisses against his shoulder. He lifted his eyes letting them scan over the room in hopes of finding something that he could use on his small lover as they continued on. But from looking about he didn't see anything that would be substantial at all.

He felt Cloud rock up against him again drawing a hiss from him as the other moaned softly. Snapping his attention back to the one beneath him he forgot about what he was looking for as he pressed back, moving his hips against Cloud's and reveling in the feeling. It was too much and yet it wasn't enough. They continued on as Zack grabbed hold of Cloud's leg that had somehow wrapped around his waist in the process. It went from almost tortuously slow to a quicker pace and Cloud was quickly losing his edge. Gasping and moaning and calling out his lovers name. It was indescribable and he wanted nothing more than to keep going but Zack had placed his hands on his hips to still him before he himself also stopped.

"Zack?" He asked his breathing heavy as he looked back up at the other with a confused, needy expression.

He received a questioning look in return and it was then that he realized just what it was that his boyfriend was asking permission to do. He gave a short nod of his head before he watched Zack look around the room while a slight frown appeared on his features.

"What's the matter?" Cloud asked hesitantly, a little surprised to see that expression on his boyfriends face considering the situation.

"I," Zack began while looking back down at Cloud, "we need something…but I don't see anything we could use"

"Need something?" Cloud asked feeling a bit clueless before he quickly realized what Zack was talking about. "Oh," he continued, "well…it's okay. We don't need it"

"Cloud," Zack started with a shake of his head. No matter how badly he wanted to do this, he didn't want to hurt Cloud.

"It'll be fine," Cloud replied softly.

"I don't want to…hurt you," Zack explained with a small sigh, still not seeming too convinced if they should continue.

"Zack," Cloud started while gripping the Samurai's chin so that he was looking straight at him. "It's okay. Alright?"

No, it wasn't. Zack knew that Cloud wasn't thinking too clearly and that he probably didn't really understand just how difficult things would be without proper preparation. Then a thought hit him and he quickly lit up before moving from off of Cloud and making his way over to his closet.

Blinking at the sudden loss of Zack in his arms Cloud looked over to where he was looking around in the closet.

"Zack," he started a bit helplessly before Zack was making his way back over and settling above him once more. A smile was back on his face and a bottle of some sort in his hand. He uncapped it and poured the clear liquid onto his fingers. A metallic like aroma filled the air and Cloud scrunched his nose slightly. "What is that?"

Looking at the bottle before setting it aside he turned his focus back to Cloud. "It's polish."

Cloud didn't know what kind of polish it was but he decided not to worry about it, that hardly mattered. If it would make things better then he was fine with it. A kiss was pressed against his lips briefly before Zack was pulling back and lowering his oil slicked fingers to the blond's entrance. Cloud sucked in a breath automatically as his fingers clutched at Zack's shoulders.

"It's okay," Zack began soothingly, "just relax."

Trying to relax a bit more Cloud sunk further into the bed and loosened his grip on Zack. He kept his eyes on the ceiling rather than on Zack and what he was doing at the moment as he tried to calm his racing heart.

Keeping his eyes locked on Cloud's face Zack gently inserted a finger into him. He saw Cloud squeeze his eyes closed and he stopped moving instantly.

"Did that hurt?" Zack asked with concern.

Opening his eyes slowly Cloud shook his head. No, it didn't hurt but it just felt…strange. Taking that as a good sign Zack continued on, moving his finger inside the other carefully and cautiously. Once it seemed like Cloud was used to that enough he added a second finger before shortly after inserting a third. It was this that caused Cloud to whimper and close his eyes once more. There was a distinct discomfort and pain and he bit his lip as he tried to will it away. But after a few more strokes Zack's fingers brushed against something inside him that made him completely forget all about the pain. He let out a cry as his eyes opened slightly and he moved his hips, trying to feel that sensation within him again.

From that reaction Zack tried to move his fingers in the same way again, trying to mimic what he had just done beforehand that had made Cloud cry out in pleasure like that. And after a few more moments he found that spot again, making Cloud tremble and moan beneath him. It was such a beautiful sound to his ears and he kept up his motions, wringing as many sounds from his lover as possible.

Cloud let out a gasp as he felt Zack's fingers retreat from him. He wanted to protest but when his eyes met Zack's again he felt his heart skip a beat as he looked at the desire lying within them. He knew what those eyes were silently asking and he gave a short nod of his head as Zack positioned himself, pressing against his entrance just barely before Cloud gasped and spoke up.

"Wait," he began while letting out a breath that he hadn't even been aware he was holding.

Zack complied instantly, stopping and looking back up into Cloud's wide eyes.

"I just," Cloud started before turning his head to the side and letting his eyes fall shut. "Never mind."

Zack could practically feel Cloud shaking now and he leaned down pressing a kiss against his cheek briefly. "Nervous?"

Turning his head to look back into Zack's face Cloud nodded slightly.

Zack gave him a warm smile before pressing a kiss to his lips. "It's okay," Zack began comfortingly while placing soft kisses all over his boyfriends face. "Tell me to stop and I will alright? We don't have to keep going."

Cloud was glad that even now with how far they had come, that Zack was still more than willing to back off. Even if Cloud didn't want him to at all. It still warmed his heart to know that Zack was thinking about his feelings. Lips were placed over his own again and he quickly melted into it, welcoming the warm tongue that had invaded his mouth. He was so caught up in it that he was only vaguely aware of a pressure down below, but when it became more forceful he felt himself tensing again.

"Relax, its okay," Zack spoke softly against his lips while taking hold of the others smaller hand in his. Cloud squeezed it tightly as he felt Zack push deeper and deeper inside. He finally cried out right before Zack was all the way in and felt the hot tears begin to roll down his face. Zack was quickly wiping them away and pressing gentle kisses on his cheeks, his eyes, forehead and lips, softly whispering words of endearment and comfort to him. They remained that way for a while, Zack giving Cloud time to adjust and trying to comfort him as best as he could. Then Cloud was reciprocating the kisses and moving a bit underneath Zack, experimentally rocking his hips forward.

That was all it took for Zack to pull out and carefully push back in causing a soft moan to escape from the blond. He continued the small motions, all the while watching Cloud's face. Watching how his mouth would open silently and his eyes would close briefly before fluttering back open. How he would bite his bottom lip or furrow his eyebrows as he tried to get used to all of the different feelings. Each small expression that would cross over his face seemed to keep Zack in a trance. All of Cloud's feelings were on his face, in his expression and in his eyes. Looks that Zack had never seen before and for that reason he just couldn't look away.

"Zack," Cloud moaned while letting his eyes drift upwards to meet intense blue. There was a certain passion in Zack's gaze, a lust and a deep love. They kept their eyes locked on each other as they continued to move sensuously against each other. Moans and heavy breathing filtered into the air, as they gasped each others names, caressing and kissing passionately. They picked up their speed as they both began to near the edge, Cloud mumbling incoherencies and repeating Zack's name like a mantra. He was close, so very close.

It only took a few more strong thrust before Cloud was arching up against Zack and tossing his head back and letting a strangled moan escape from him. And it was in that moment of seeing Cloud completely vulnerable that spurred on Zack's climax and he was following right after the other before collapsing on top of him, feeling totally and completely spent but satisfied beyond belief.

After a moment Zack pushed himself up to pull out of Cloud before resting beside him and instantly pulling him into his arms while Cloud cuddled up to his side.

They were more than content this way, not speaking any words but just soaking up the aftermath and enjoying being near each other. Zack glanced down to his side as he ran a hand through sweaty golden hair. Cloud's eyes were closed and from his breathing Zack could tell that he was very close to probably falling asleep. Letting a small smile appear on his face he tightened his hold on his lover before kissing him on the top of his head.

"I love you," he mumbled while letting his eyes fall close as well.

Cloud smiled gently at those words before softly replying with, "I love you too."

* * *

Blinking open his eyes he ran a hand over his face before turning his gaze to the window. The room was now tinted with a dark orangey glow as the sun began to set. It had started to cool off now considerably now that the sun was disappearing. A body stirring beside him caught his attention and he looked down to see a head of blond spikes resting on the pillow next to him. Smiling gently he ran a finger down Cloud's cheek. He looked so cute when he was asleep. Reaching down he drew the blanket up over them before lying back and resting beside his boyfriend once more.

"Zack?" Cloud asked with a small voice.

Opening his eyes again Zack looked to Cloud who now had his sleepy blue eyes directed at him.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Zack asked.

"No," Cloud began with a shake of his head before stretching a bit. His eyes drifted to the window and he let out a sigh. "It's going to be night soon."

"Yeah," Zack replied while reaching out pushing some stray spikes away from Cloud's face.

"I should probably go soon then," Cloud continued softly.

Zack didn't like the sound of that. He didn't want Cloud to leave; he just wanted to keep him all night there with him.

"Stay," Zack simply said before leaning in and kissing him softly.

Curling his fingers into dark hair Cloud closed his eyes as Zack buried his face into the crook of his neck.

"You know I want to. But I'll get in trouble if I stay out all night," Cloud explained. "Come home with me."

"Hmm?" Zack asked while pulling away a little to look into Cloud's eyes.

"Yeah, just come stay at the castle tonight. You can spend the night; you know my mom won't mind. Besides I don't have classes tomorrow," Cloud continued while combing his fingers through silky dark hair.

"I can do that," Zack replied with a grin.

Cloud was returning it before they got caught in another kiss and then Zack was pulling away with a frown.

"Wait…I have to go to that dinner conference tonight. I told Angeal I'd go," Zack explained.

Cloud vaguely remembered something about a conference being mentioned when they were at the dojo earlier in the day, but he had forgotten all about it up until now.

"Oh," he started, "well, maybe afterwards then?"

"I don't know how long it'll be, I don't want to come by too late and disturb your parents," Zack began but Cloud was already shaking his head.

"It's fine. I'll be up. I'll wait for you," he quickly explained while giving Zack a smile.

"Okay," Zack replied before raising an eyebrow, "what's that?"

"What's what?" Cloud asked a bit confused.

"On your face," Zack continued while raising his hand and wiping at Cloud's cheek.

"What is it?" Cloud asked while lifting his hand to try wiping whatever it was on his face away.

"Oh," Zack began in mock realization as a grin spread across his face, "it's just you blushing."

For a moment Cloud stared back without saying anything causing Zack to laugh and then in a second Cloud was smacking his boyfriend on the arm.

"Shut up!" He shouted at him, all the while a smile spreading across his face. He blushed easily, he always had. And after the events of today he was pretty sure he was going to have a permanent blush for a while.

"It's cute," Zack started while wrapping his arms around him, "_you're_ cute."

"Zack," Cloud began shyly while Zack nipped at his ear, "we need to get ready to go. Your conference right?"

"Mm," Zack replied, "I'd much rather stay here with you."

A pleasant shiver ran through Cloud's body and he felt himself melting into Zack's touches and kisses all over again. Even though they had just made love only hours ago, he felt his body responding already and he knew that he would gladly give himself to Zack again if they weren't pressed for time.

"Zack," he tried again while rolling away playfully as Zack tried to reach out and grab him. But Cloud just sat upright on the bed, his hair a complete mess before sliding away further. "We need to get ready."

"Fine," Zack sighed in defeat as Cloud smiled. They began to get ready, cleaning up and redressing and grooming their disheveled hair. Although even just that routine took a little longer than usual as their hands began to wander. Zack insisting on helping Cloud get dressed, fastening his obi and fixing his hair. And Cloud straightening Zack's outfit, making sure he looked perfect presentable before stepping out of the house. They made their way back to the castle shortly there after walking down the quiet halls and caught up in conversation. Although they couldn't be affectionate or anything out in public, they did seem to be standing much more closer than they ever usually would while out in the castle, but either of them didn't seem to care at the moment.

They stopped when they were nearing Cloud's quarters seeing as how Zack had to go down a different direction to get to the conference hall.

"So I'll see you later tonight?" Zack asked while letting his eyes pierce into blue.

Cloud nodded while smiling what felt like the umpteenth that day. "Yeah, I'll be waiting."

"Okay," Zack replied while looking around the hall and noting that it was empty before leaning in and placing a brief kiss against his boyfriend's lips. "I'll see you later then."

"Bye," Cloud said softly as he watched Zack walk away. He wanted to follow after him like a puppy but he knew he was just being silly. But even so, it brought a smile to his face. He made his way into his house sliding the door closed behind him while removing his shoes.

"Cloud?" His mother's voice called from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'm home," Cloud replied just as Tama trotted over to him.

"Oh good. Dinner is almost ready. Where have you been all day?" Natsumi asked while stepping out of the kitchen and drying her hands on a dish cloth.

"I was with Zack," was all that Cloud offered as he bent down to pet his cat. But that seemed to be enough for Natsumi and she nodded her head.

"Well your father had to go to a conference so he won't be here for dinner tonight," Natsumi explained, "I'll let you know when it's ready."

"Okay," Cloud began with a nod while picking up Tama, preparing to go into his room until dinner was finished.

"Oh yeah," his mother started while walking into the living room and picking up a letter of some sort from the table. "This came for you. Elena delivered it."

_Elena?_

Reaching out Cloud took the envelope from his mother and stared at it. The only thing on the envelope was his name and that was all.

"She said to make sure you got it. Were you expecting something?" Natsumi asked with a tilt of her head.

"No," Cloud said with a shake of his head.

"Hmm," his mother began before turning to head back into the kitchen, "well dinner should be done in about ten minutes."

"Alright," Cloud spoke quietly before walking back to his room and stepping inside. He slid the door closed behind him before placing Tama on the ground. His eyes remained fixated on the envelope and he was sort of a bit hesitant to open it. Anything from Elena meant that the Shogun was involved. She was his assistant, and he had no other reason to speak with her than because of Hojo. But he hadn't seen or spoken to the man since that evening at the dinner, not since Angeal had come to get him.

Turning the envelope around he slipped his finger under the flap and tore it open before pulling out a folded piece of paper. Unfolding it he held his breath, wondering just what it was that he would see.

_I need to see you._

That was it. No more no less. It wasn't signed but Cloud already knew who it was from anyways. But why? Why now? His day had been going perfect…more than perfect. And then he came back to this?

Sitting down on the edge of his bed he continued to stare at the note. Was the Shogun mad? More than likely he was since Angeal had practically ruined things for the man. So what was he going to do? No, Cloud didn't even want to think about that. He wouldn't put anything past the Shogun at this point. After learning from Angeal that his dessert had been drugged at the dinner, he really didn't know what to expect from this point on.

He thought he could ignore it, that maybe in time maybe Hojo would just give up but…that wasn't happening. And after their last encounter…

He suddenly felt sick to his stomach and he quickly placed the note back in the envelope before walking over to his closet. He opened it and put the letter in with the package that the sketchbook had come in before closing the door. Somehow with it there he thought it would be out of sight, out of mind. Even though he knew that wouldn't really get rid of his problems.

"Zack," he said quietly to himself. He had half the mind to go to the conference himself to drag his boyfriend away and tell him everything that had happened. Because at the moment he didn't know how to handle this by himself. He probably should've told Zack from the beginning but…he didn't want to worry him. He still didn't want to but…he just didn't know.

* * *

**Authors Notes: Here is Chapter 8! It heavily focused on Zack and Cloud and their love! I just thought it would be nice for them to finally have their moment considering all of the drama that's been going on around them, they needed some sexual healing! (Oh yeah, and as for the polish, that's the polish for swords and stuff…I just forgot the exact name. Got to use what's around yeah?) Lol. But alas, in the end, Hojo still rears his ugly head. Is Cloud going to try to handle this all on his own and keep Zack out of it? Hmm. Well, until next chapter! **


	9. Shades Of Gray

Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters. So please don't sue.

* * *

Sneezing again Cloud let out a groan before pulling the blanket up higher and nuzzling against his pillow. His throat was scratchy and he kept going from hot to cold and his nose didn't seem like it would ever stop running. He hated being sick, especially when there was so much he had to do. He had been out of lessons for a few days and even though he was trying to keep up with his work he hadn't done too much of it at all, and he knew his dad wouldn't be too thrilled about that.

"Sweetie," Natsumi began while sliding open his bedroom door and carrying a small tray containing miso soup and hot tea. "You need to eat something."

Turning in his bed he looked over to his mom as she set the tray down on his bedside table. "How are you feeling?" She continued with a concerned look while placing her hand on his forehead.

"The same," Cloud mumbled while pulling himself up to a sitting position, "can you pass me my notebook? I need to finish up my assignment."

"Don't worry about that," Natsumi scolded with a shake of her head and holding out the cup of tea towards him, "the only thing you need to worry about right now is getting better. So finish this up here and rest okay?"

Taking the cup of tea Cloud gave a small nod as he took a sip. Natsumi gave a sweet smile before ruffling his hair slightly and looking across the room to his book case.

"Do you want your sketchbook?" She asked while moving from his side and already making her way to the opposite side of the room.

"Sure," Cloud answered while setting down his cup. He figured if his mom was telling him not to worry about his lesson work then he could work on some of his sketches at least.

After retrieving the book Natsumi made her way back towards the other and gently set the book on the bed beside him. "Only use this once you're done eating," she began while giving him a stern look, "I know your throat is sore but you have to eat at least this okay?"

"I will," Cloud replied quickly, "thanks mom."

"I'll check on you in a few," Natsumi began before leaning down to place a kiss on top of blond spikes and then she was exiting the room.

Letting out a sigh Cloud reached over and picked up the small bowl of soup before carefully placing a spoonful of it into his mouth. Even though it was a little uncomfortable to eat, it was actually pretty soothing since it was hot. It didn't take him too long to finish the soup and he had just picked up his sketchbook and flipped it open to a blank page before a knock came at his door.

"Come in," Cloud spoke softly, hoping that whoever it was on the other side had heard him with his scratchy, low voice. But it seemed as if they did since the door slid open shortly after.

"Hey," Zack's voice announced as he poked his head in giving the other a smile.

"Zack," Cloud began before coughing slightly a few times.

The Samurai gave his boyfriend a sympathetic look before entering the room and sliding the door closed behind him.

"How you feeling?" He asked while crossing the room to take a seat on the bed next to Cloud.

"I could be better," Cloud replied with a weak smile.

"I know," Zack began softly while pulling the blond into his arms and gently rubbing his back comfortingly, "is there anything I can do?"

Relaxing against the other Cloud placed his head on Zack's shoulder. Since he had gotten sick a few days ago Zack had come over every night after he was free of his duties to check on Cloud. Even though Cloud insisted that he should stay away because he didn't want to get him sick, but Zack quickly dismissed that and continued to come. Not only that, but he continued to hold and kiss him. Although it wasn't exactly surprising to Cloud, even when they were kids Zack would come around when Cloud was sick. And when Natsumi would try to shoo Zack away when he was little Zack would only put on his best puppy look and tell her that he wanted to stay with Cloud. So after that Natsumi had sort of just given in and allowed Zack to hang around. And it didn't look like that had changed even now.

"Just stay here with me?" Cloud asked while shifting beside the other.

"I can do that," Zack replied while placing a kiss on Cloud's cheek.

Pulling away slightly Cloud reached for his cup of tea before looking back towards Zack.

"How was your day?" He asked while trying to clear his throat of its raspy tone.

Leaning back on his hands Zack tilted his head, "Long," he started while letting his gaze drift away briefly.

"Yeah?" Cloud asked while sipping his drink, urging his boyfriend to elaborate.

"Mm," Zack began while letting his gaze shift back towards Cloud. Hesitating briefly he took in a breath before continuing on. "Cloud?"

Lifting an eyebrow Cloud kept his eyes on Zack as the other leaned forward once more.

"Everything's been okay right?" Zack asked while searching blue eyes, "I mean…with the Shogun?"

Cloud eyes widened briefly and he turned to set his cup of tea back on the nightstand. He hadn't been expecting that question. They hadn't talked about the Shogun since Zack had returned from his last assignment, and even then it was just for a moment. And the note that Elena had delivered from the Shogun a few weeks ago, well…Cloud hadn't mentioned it to Zack. True when he first read it he had been so shook up about it and wanted to tell Zack, but when his boyfriend came back that night from the conference in such good spirits because of the days events…well, he just didn't want to ruin that. That had been _their_ day. And it wouldn't be right or fair to mess that up. He just wanted to keep up the good atmosphere. He told himself he would tell Zack later, but day after day went by and he had decided to just forget it.

"Yeah, everything's been fine," Cloud replied quietly while turning to look back at Zack.

Zack didn't say anything as he stared into Cloud's eyes, trying to read them in their honesty and sincerity. However Cloud broke their gaze as he glanced down towards the covers.

"Why do you ask?" Cloud continued.

"Just curious," Zack replied while reaching out and caressing the boy's cheek, "sorry to bring it up."

Cloud just shook his head before moving forward while Zack instantly pulled him back into his arms. Cloud shifted a little so that his back was resting against Zack's chest and he reached out across the bed to pick up his sketchbook.

"Want to see the new ones?" He asked with a sniffle.

"Of course," Zack answered while resting his chin on top of blond spikes. He watched as Cloud flipped through the pages in his sketchbook all the while his mind wandering. He knew Cloud was lying to him, he could always tell when he was. And the fact that he couldn't hold his gaze when he had questioned him a moment ago was his proof of that. Of what he was hiding Zack wasn't sure, but he knew it was something. And he hated the idea that Cloud was keeping secrets from him. A part of him wanted to push the issue, try to get Cloud to spill whatever it was. But he thought since his boyfriend wasn't feeling well that he shouldn't aggravate him, but he was going to find out somehow what it was even if Cloud didn't tell him himself.

"I haven't seen this one," Zack spoke up while reaching out to stop Cloud from turning the page.

"What are you talking about I did that one a long time ago," Cloud replied with a cough.

"Well you didn't show me," Zack answered, playfully sounding a bit hurt.

"I'm sure I did," Cloud replied, "you just forgot."

"I would never forget," Zack started before nipping at the blonds' ear causing him to laugh and trying to pull away a bit, but Zack only tightened his arms around him.

"Yeah yeah," Cloud continued with a small smile. He was trying to act normal even though he was a little worried now. Why did Zack ask him about the Shogun? Did he know something? He knew he wasn't going to be able to let that go now that it had come up, and he was sure Zack knew he was keeping something from him. Zack had always been able to read him. But since Zack wasn't pushing it Cloud would let it go for the time being.

* * *

"I'm so glad you came back today! I was getting lonely without you in lessons," Aerith beamed as they walked through the cool halls of the castle.

"Yeah, I sort of had to come back," Cloud replied while clearing his throat slightly. True he was feeling tons better than he had been a couple days ago, but he still felt a little sick. However his dad had insisted that he resume his lessons before he fell too far behind. But he guessed he couldn't really blame him, he didn't want to be tied down with too much work from missing so much, so he knew he had to go back as well.

"Sorry," Aerith began with a comforting smile and patting her friend on the shoulder. "If you want later we can go to the Kisiragi Tea House! The soup there is the perfect cure ya know!"

Nodding briefly Cloud thought it over. He actually wouldn't mind getting out of this place for awhile, since he had been sick he had been confined to his room, some fresh air would do him some good.

"That sounds good," he answered and Aerith lit up.

"Great!" She began, "well let's just drop our things off and head out. We can make it for a late lunch."

They decided to split up at that point to go to their homes and discard their items and then they were to meet up at the entrance gate. Cloud had made it to the entrance relatively quickly but Aerith wasn't there yet. He looked around at his surroundings as he waited, watching as people stepped out of the castle making their way into town or venturing around to head towards the courtyard. A few people he recognized and within making eye contact with them he gave a brief bow. Most of them he knew from the dinners that his father dragged him to, but names….he couldn't remember for the life of him.

"Well look who it is," a voice spoke up from behind him causing him to spin around. He was met with a smirk and firey red hair before the other ruffled his hair. "I heard you were sick, feeling better?"

"Still a little sick, but much better," Cloud replied while batting away Reno's hand.

"Good to know," Reno began while placing his hands on his hips and looking around, "where's Zack, he's not with you?"

"No," Cloud spoke with a short cough, "he's working I'm sure." The question didn't surprise him at all, whenever he saw Reno his friend always asked where Zack was. It was almost as if he always expected Zack to be near if Cloud was present. It was sort of something that had stuck since they were all kids.

"Yeah," Reno started absentmindedly before shifting green eyes back to the small blond, "well what are you doing just hanging around here then?"

"Waiting for Aerith, we're going to the Kisiragi teahouse," Cloud explained, "do you want to come?"

"That does sound good," Reno spoke with a sigh, "but I've got work to do."

Cloud nodded in understanding before sneezing and turning his head away.

"Geez kid you sure you should be going out?" Reno asked while placing his hand on Cloud's forehead.

"I'm fine," Cloud replied as he met Reno's concerned gaze.

"Well…you don't really feel hot so I guess it's okay," he continued while pulling his hand away.

Cloud gave a small smile as he listened to Reno. His friend had sort of become the older brother that he never had. He was always looking out for him, teasing him and playing tricks on him…but nevertheless concerned about him.

"Sorry I took so long!" Aerith's voice broke in as she approached the two, "my mom gave me a list of things she wanted me to pick up while in town."

"It's alright I haven't been here long," Cloud explained before Aerith gave a wide smile and turned her focus to Reno.

"Are you coming with us?" She asked.

"No unfortunately," he replied while shifting his eyes back towards the entrance, "In fact I have a conference that I should've been in already so I better go."

"See you," Cloud began before Reno bopped him on the head once more.

"Stay out of trouble kids," he spoke once more before heading inside the castle entrance.

Aerith let out a giggle before shaking her head and beginning to walk away with Cloud at her side.

"Just like Reno to be late," Aerith said in amusement while running a hand through her hair. "Oh! I meant to ask him if he was going to the dinner coming up."

"Reno never goes to the dinners," Cloud replied while glancing at Aerith, she knew that.

"Oh I know, but this isn't like a usual dinner. It's not an all resident; it's like just for some of the officials and their families I guess. You're parents didn't mention it?"

Cloud simply shook his head and Aerith continued.

"Well I don't know if it's for all the officials but something like that," she said with a laugh. "My dad was telling me about it. I just wondered if there would be anyone there I would know."

"If it's something more important he may have to go then," Cloud suggested with a shrug.

"Possibly, I was just curious," Aerith began before looking towards the ground at her sandals. "I was thinking of asking Zack though. To come with me. Do you think he would?"

Quickly ceasing his walk Cloud stared at the girl. What did she just say? She wanted to ask Zack to this official's dinner….like a…date?

Stopping Aerith turned to look at her friend giving him a bit of an odd look. "Cloud?"

"Um," Cloud began while dropping his gaze briefly, "you want to ask Zack?"

Aerith started to blush and she began to twirl her hair around her finger, something she seemed to do when she was flustered.

"Well yeah," she started, "I mean he always goes to the resident dinners you know? And he seems to enjoy himself there. So, he's already to use to going to these types of things. And it would be nice to have him there…I have fun at those things when he's around."

Cloud didn't like what he was hearing. He had already figured out long ago that Aerith had some crush on Zack, but now that she…was actually trying to do something about said crush, he didn't know what to do. What to say. No, what could he do? What could he say? Aerith didn't know about him and Zack so he couldn't just quite say "well that's my boyfriend so I don't think you two going on a date would be a good idea." There wasn't anything he could say to defend his place at Zack's side without letting out their secret, but…

"I don't…know," Cloud began uneasily, "I mean he may be busy with something."

Aerith nodded before continuing on, "I thought about that too but Angeal is going. And usually if Angeal is available so is Zack, they seem to work together a lot."

"Maybe," Cloud replied softly.

"I should just…ask him later tonight right?" Aerith asked with a laugh, "I mean, it shouldn't be a big deal."

Cloud felt his stomach drop. No, no, no. He didn't like this. But, was he just being paranoid? Was Aerith just wanting to go as friends? No, no of course not! The way she was acting, the way she would blush whenever Zack's name was mentioned, Cloud wasn't stupid. But he had to hear it from her personally…

"Aerith," he started carefully, "do you…" he trailed off briefly before turning blue eyes back to green. "Do you like…Zack?"

"What!?" Aerith asked as her green eyes widened, "Cloud why would you ask that. Zack is my friend; we've known each other for years! He's my friend…" letting out a sigh she continued, "but…okay." She paused for a long time before nodding her head, "Yeah…I really do. It's just because we're friends it's hard to tell him you know?"

Cloud didn't say anything, he couldn't say anything. So he simply stared as his heart beat quickly within his chest.

"Please don't say anything to him? You're my friend so I can tell you but…I want to tell him myself…eventually," she finished with a laugh. "So please? I know he's your best friend and you two tell each other everything but…just keep this one thing from him."

And there it was. The words that Cloud had already known to be true, but hearing them said aloud seemed to somehow cut deeper, now that he had to accept that it really was a reality. He didn't say anything for a moment as he tried to regain his composure.

"Okay," he spoke quietly. His voice sounding different even to him, but he hoped that Aerith would just figure it was because he was sick. And it seemed she did because she gave him a wide smile before saying thanks and then she was pulling him along back on their walk into town. She started to ramble on about other things, but Cloud didn't hear any of it at all.

* * *

He should've known that at the first signs of feeling better that his father would drag him out to some resident event. Even if he was feeling better he really didn't feel like being around a whole bunch of people. Not to mention his mood was sort of off considering the days events. He couldn't help but to keep replaying his conversation with Aerith earlier in the day. After that when they had gone into town it all seemed to be a blur, the only thing he remembered was that confession.

'Why Zack?' He asked himself. There was so many other different people who Aerith could've developed a crush on, and yet still somehow someway she had to fall for Zack. It made his stomach upset just to think about.

"Cloud eat your rice," Natsumi began while pushing his bowl closer towards him, "you're still recovering you need your energy."

"Mom I'm just not that hungry, I had a big lunch today," Cloud explained while giving his mom a pleading look.

"Fine fine," she replied with a wave of her hand before looking past Cloud from their table and giving a wide smile. "Hi sweetie!"

Cloud didn't even need to turn around to know who it was that was there. There was only one person who his mom called sweetie besides him.

"Hi Auntie!" Zack beamed while taking a seat beside Cloud, "mind if I sit here? I'm starving!"

"I bet you are," Natsumi replied while already preparing a plate for the Samurai.

Looking beside him Cloud was met with Zack's wide grin and he couldn't help but to smile back even if he had been in a down mood before.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here," Cloud spoke just as Natsumi set Zack's dish before him.

"Well I wasn't but Angeal thought we should at least make an appearance. I was actually going to head to your place," Zack explained while picking up his chopsticks, "good thing I didn't though."

"Oh, I better go over there with your father," Natsumi began while looking over to Saito who was currently talking to some people. "Zack maybe you can get Cloud to eat something huh? He won't listen to me," she finished before tapping Cloud on the head and then making her way across the room.

"You're not hungry?" Zack asked while stuffing a bite of Sashimi into his mouth.

"No, I ate a lot earlier today. I went out with Aerith to the Kisraragi teahouse," Cloud explained with a sigh.

"What? And I wasn't invited?" Zack asked jokingly while setting down his chopsticks.

Letting out a small laugh Cloud shifted just a bit closer to the other before gently laying his head on his shoulder. That was safe to do, everyone knew he wasn't feeling too well and wouldn't think much of this small gesture. And even if they did cast a second look, at that moment Cloud didn't really care.

It didn't seem as if Zack was worried about it at all and he lifted a hand to run through Cloud's hair briefly.

"How you feeling?" He asked softly.

"Okay I guess," Cloud replied just as softly. True he was feeling much better when it came to his cold, but…not with this latest matter.

"You guess?" Zack asked while turning his head slightly to look at wild blonde spikes that were resting on his shoulder. "Do you want to go back home? I can take you back if you still don't feel too good."

Sighing Cloud lifted his head and looked towards his boyfriend, "I can't. Since I was out all day my dad insisted that if I was feeling so well to go out then that I would be well enough to attend this."

"Even so," Zack started with a frown but Cloud just shook his head, letting him know it was alright. But apparently Zack was having none of it and within a second he was standing up from the table and gesturing for Cloud to do the same. "Let's go."

"Zack it's o-"

"Okay?" Zack finished while raising an eyebrow, "Cloud if you're not feeling well you shouldn't be here. Your dad will just have to understand that. Come on."

When Zack had his mind set on something Cloud had found out that arguing about it didn't really get him anywhere. And besides, he really _didn't_ feel like being at this dinner anyways. So pulling himself up to his feet he followed Zack as they made their way out of the dinner hall, but not before telling Natsumi that they were leaving. She didn't mind that Cloud was leaving and told him that she would make up some excuse to tell Saito seeing as how he wasn't around at the moment. But before they could get fully out of the dinner hall they ran into Aerith as she was on her way in.

"Oh hey!" She beamed at the two, a wide smile on her face.

"Hey Aerith," Zack replied, returning the smile as Cloud simply gave a nod of acknowledgement.

"I'm glad you're both here," she began before shifting her gaze to Cloud, "especially you Cloud, I thought for sure you wouldn't be feeling up to coming out tonight."

"Well I didn't really have a choice," Cloud spoke softly before glancing back into the dinner hall at his father who was still engaged in conversation.

"Oh yeah I should've figured," she spoke with a laugh before clasping her hands together and directing her focus back towards Zack. "Good thing you're here I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Oh," Zack began with a blink of his yes, "actually we weren't staying, we were on our way out just now."

"What?" Aerith asked as her face fell a little, "Why?"

"Well I really wasn't planning to stay too long, just needed to make an appearance," Zack started before glancing towards Cloud, "and he's still not feeling too well."

"Oh I see," Aerith replied with a nod. She kept a smile on her face but it wasn't nearly as bright as before and Cloud could sense her disappointment.

"What did you need to talk to me about?" Zack asked.

"Oh," Aerith started before waving her hands, "I can talk to you about that later. I better go inside before my parents start to wonder where I'm at anyways. I'll see you two later!"

She barely waited for them to say their goodbyes to her before she had disappeared further into the dinner hall, making her way over to her family's table. Cloud kept his gaze on her a moment longer before he started to follow after Zack back towards his quarters. He was only partially aware of the conversation between he and Zack on the way back. He responded to the Samurai's comments but he kept them short and to the point. It was hard to really focus on anything else when he knew what Aerith wanted to talk to Zack about? Was he making too big of a deal of it? But then again, how was he supposed to react after finding out that his friend had a crush on his boyfriend, and potentially wanted him to go out with her on some type of date?

He didn't really realize that they had already made it back to his home until he was stepping into the place and sliding the door closed behind him. He listened to the bell on Tama's neck tinkle as she ran up and greeted him and Zack at the door. Zack had already stooped down to shower the cat with attention as Cloud moved into the kitchen to start some tea. Once he was done he entered into the living room where Zack now was and took a seat at the small table, setting the teapot down and two cups. He poured some for both he and Zack and placed it back down on the table.

"Thank you," Zack spoke up while reaching for his cup after gently moving Tama from off of his lap.

Cloud gave a nod as he carefully sipped the hot liquid, relishing how good it felt coating his still slightly sore throat.

"Do you think you'll see Aerith tomorrow?" He asked while setting down the cup, however still keeping his eyes fixated on it.

"Hmm?" Zack asked while peering over his teacup at the other.

"Aerith," Cloud started, "she said she wanted to talk with you."

"I don't know. I may not be here tomorrow until evening so more than likely I won't see her," Zack explained while giving Cloud a curious look.

Aerith may have asked Cloud not to say anything to Zack…but really? There was no way he could keep this from Zack, not when it was eating at him so badly like this.

"I know what she wants to talk to you about," Cloud quickly blurted before finally raising his gaze to meet Zack's.

Reaching forward to set down his cup Zack raised his eyebrows, "and that is?"

Scratching at his head briefly Cloud let out a sigh, "apparently there is some conference dinner or something with only the officials…or some of the officials and their families or something like that. But she wants to ask you if you'll go with her."

"Me?" Zack asked while sitting back slightly, "why, I wouldn't be able to attend anyways if it's just for the officials."

"Not if you go with her," Cloud responded instantly before a frown settled on his face. "Besides that's not the point…would you go with her?"

Pausing briefly Zack studied the look on his boyfriends face. He suddenly didn't look too happy and Zack realized just why that was.

"Not if you don't want me to," he answered carefully, "but I think she would just want me to go so she wouldn't be the only person around her age there."

"No Zack!" Cloud cried, startling Tama who had come to lie beside him recently. "She likes you! I told you that already, it's a date!"

"Cloud I don't think it's a date. I mean a conference?" Zack explained calmly, trying to calm down the blond.

Balling his hands into fist Cloud looked away. Why did Zack always have to try to rationalize things? When it came to their friends he supposed it was only natural, and then again Zack was just too nice for his own good sometimes. But Cloud was serious about this! And the fact that Zack was so calm about it while he was getting upset only made it worse.

"It is!" Cloud shot back, "she likes you! She told me so herself today, and she told me not to tell you because she wanted to tell you when she was ready."

There was a brief moment of silence before Cloud shook his head, preparing to get up from his seat.

"It's fine, go with her if you want," he mumbled before Zack reached out to grab hold of his wrist.

"Cloud I won't go, I told you that already," Zack said while looking into blue eyes.

"I don't want you not to because _I_ said so," Cloud replied before running a hand over his face. "It's fine…just forget it," he began while pulling his arm away from Zack. "It's been a long day and I still don't feel too well, I think I'm just going to go to bed."

He didn't wait for Zack to reply and instead just got up to his feet and walked down the hallway into his bedroom. He slid the door closed behind without hesitation before moving over to his bed and pulling back the covers.

"Cloud?" Zack's voice called through the door before it quietly slid open.

"You can go, I'll see you later," Cloud replied just as he had sat down on the bed.

Closing the door behind him Zack stepped into the room and walked over towards the bed.

"Why are you getting so upset up with me?" Zack asked quietly while taking a seat on the bed cautiously, "I won't go with Aerith, it's not even a question. And I won't because _I_ don't want to give her the wrong idea. Not just because you don't want me to."

Letting out a sigh Cloud shook his head. "I'm not upset with you Zack…just the situation," he explained as best as he could. "It's just…she told me she liked you and there wasn't_ anything _I could say to that you know? I couldn't tell her that you're taken."

A look of understanding crossed over Zack's features and he automatically reached out to place his arms around the other. Cloud quickly melted into the embrace and held on tightly to his boyfriend.

"It's just so…frustrating," Cloud continued while burying his face in Zack's chest. It wasn't fair. _He_ loved Zack, _he_ was with Zack. He should be able to say that to everyone without repercussions, he shouldn't have to hide it…and he shouldn't be afraid to lose it, but he was.

"I know," Zack whispered while running his hand through blond spikes and tightening his hold on Cloud.

"Zack it's not just this," Cloud started, "it's just it made me realize. You're a Samurai, and for your age you're already so respected. It's not going to be long before the girls are going to start lining up for you, you can't dodge that forever."

"Cloud," Zack began firmly, "you don't have to worry about that."

"Yeah I do," Cloud replied, obviously not convinced with Zack's answer. "I feel like I'm going to lose you somehow. If not because of Aerith then because of…"

"Because of?" Zack asked while pulling away to look into Cloud's face. But the boy wouldn't meet his gaze and instantly moved back into hug Zack, not wanting to separate from him for a moment.

"Cloud you're not going to lose me," Zack continued softly while running his hand up and down Cloud's back soothingly. "You have to trust me okay? Nothing is going to come between us. Ever. Understand? It's you and me always."

The only thing Cloud did after that was hold onto Zack tighter. The Samurai didn't know what he could do, or say to make Cloud believe him. He had this notion that they were going to be pulled apart ever since he had moved into the castle. And while Zack thought that it would fade away after sometime it had remained a key element in their relationship and Cloud would always worry about it. No matter how much Zack tried to tell him otherwise, it was as if it wasn't enough to make Cloud believe him. Girls flirted with him all the time, but Zack wasn't interested. He was polite but never gave them anything else that would make them think he was interested. And Aerith? She was his friend, he didn't think of her in such a way. And if she did admit her feelings for him ever, well, he would just refuse her in the nicest way he could and try not to hurt her feelings too much. But no matter what, or who came his way….he wouldn't be budged. He had all he needed right here in his arms. If only Cloud could trust him on this.

* * *

"Dad?" Cloud asked while stepping into the apparently empty meeting hall. His dad had told him to meet him here after lessons because he needed him to go with him into town for some things. Maybe he wanted him to run errands as punishment for bailing out on the dinner early the night before. He didn't know if he was early or late, but he figured he must've came to late seeing as how nobody seemed to be present any longer.

"Great," he mumbled quietly. Now his dad was probably going to be even more upset with him. He decided he should probably head back home and see if his dad was there waiting for him. But just before he was going to head out the door two people stepped in. He paused briefly as he stared at the two and the blond woman gave him a smirk before turning to the man.

"I'll go check on the preparations for this evening," Elena spoke up before bowing and making her exit.

"Cloud, I'm glad to see you. Your father told me that you had been feeling ill recently," Hojo spoke while raking his eyes over the blond before him.

"Yes your Excellency," Cloud began with a bow, casting his eyes downward once he saw the man's eyes trailing over him. "But I'm much better now."

"Good," the Shogun replied with a smile, "I've been away on business myself so my time has been limited. However, I was looking forward to seeing you."

Pausing momentarily Cloud carefully lifted his eyes to meet the Shogun's. He noticed a certain glint in his eye, one that made him uneasy and he averted his gaze once again. How was he supposed to respond to that?

"I assume you received the note that I had Elena deliver to you a few weeks back?" The man asked with a slight tilt of his head.

"I did, yes," Cloud replied while biting his lip. This wasn't really a topic that he wanted to discuss, however he knew it was inevitable. While he may have been able to dodge it for the past couple of weeks it didn't mean that it had gone away.

"Then shall we set aside some time for us to get together?" Hojo asked while crossing the short distance between them until he was standing in front of the other, gazing down at him with a curious look.

"I can't," Cloud quickly responded, still keeping his eyes downward. If he went with the Shogun again there was no doubt in his mind that the man would stop his advances, and Angeal wouldn't come to his aid this time. No, this time he would be on his own with nowhere to turn.

"And why is that?" Hojo asked calmly, reaching out his hand to run through soft golden hair.

Cloud felt himself flinch inwardly but he tried to remain neutral on the outside. Carefully he took a step back before looking up towards the man who now had a bit of a frown on his face.

"Your Excellency I don't think," he started with a shake of his head, "I just believe your interest is misguided."

Hojo actually let out a laugh at this which caught Cloud by surprise.

"Cloud," the man began while adjusting his glasses, "trust me. That is certainly not the case."

"I just," Cloud started softly before Hojo took another step forward and placed his finger under the boys chin, tipping his head up slightly.

"Cloud," Hojo spoke while letting out a quiet sigh, "this chase was fun while it lasted, but it's grown old already." Slipping his arm around the others waist he pulled him closer towards him so that they were pressed firmly against each other. "There isn't much you can contest to."

That wasn't what Cloud wanted to hear. Even if he knew that that was true, it still was something he didn't want to fully admit. Hojo was the Shogun, and if he tried to oppose him the man could make things really bad for him and his family. There was no limit to what he could do. And Cloud was just a kid, the son of the Chamberlain but that hardly mattered it seemed.

"Does your father enjoy his position as Chamberlain?" Hojo asked while letting his hand travel up the younger one's back.

"Very much so," Cloud replied while turning wary eyes to the man, all the while trying not to squirm from the subtle and yet prominent touch of fingertips moving up his back.

"So if he were to say…be replaced, would that not be a good thing?" Hojo continued while keeping his gaze firmly on Cloud.

"What!?" Cloud practically shrieked while pulling away abruptly from the man's grip. "Of course that wouldn't be good, my dad has done so much to obtain his position. He can't just be replaced so casually."

"It wouldn't be hard for me to find another Chamberlain, there are many others who would jump at the chance," Hojo explained calmly.

Cloud's stomach dropped from that comment. What was the Shogun thinking!? To demote his father would be to disgrace him and their family and there would be no fixing that. His father was a very proud man, and he knew something like that would crush him. Not to mention everything he had worked so hard for would be for nothing. Hojo couldn't do that, could he? Titles aside, he wouldn't be so mean as to actually take away his fathers position would he?

"Please don't" Cloud quickly spoke while shaking his head, "my father is a good asset to the council. You know he is. Please, it would hurt my family too much."

"Hmm," Hojo mused as a smirk appeared on his features, "I can see it's just as important to you as it would be to your father."

"It is," Cloud spoke softly.

"So say I allow him to keep his position, without ever being in jeopardy of losing it. Is there any benefit to me?" The Shogun asked while narrowing his eyes at the other.

From the look on the others face Cloud clearly knew what the man was suggesting and he felt his world become a little darker. What could he do to get out of this? Nothing. That was what. Because not only could he not defy the Shogun, but he couldn't allow his father's position to be taken away because of him. That wasn't even an option. So he really had no choice in the matter of what he was about to do.

"I'll do…whatever you want," Cloud whispered, feeling the tears of frustration begin to sting his eyes.

"Will you?" The man asked again, taking a step closer as his eyes lit up with what appeared to be amusement.

Nodding was the only thing he could do, he couldn't bring himself to speak those words again. "If my father's position remains safe," he added as sternly as he could.

Without warning Hojo leaned down and pressed a kiss against Cloud's lips, causing him to stiffen. And as much as he wanted to push the man away…he knew that now he couldn't. He had pretty much just signed his fate in blood, and there wasn't anything he could do but accept it.

"Don't worry Cloud; Chamberlain Saito's position will remain secure."

* * *

**A/N: And here is chapter 9! This is the real turning point of the story, I guess it's easy to see that, hehe! Cloud has made the ultimate deal! Dun dun dun! But really, how could he get around that? He's kept so much from Zack but will he keep this from him? And will Aerith just be be brushed out of the picture so easily? Hmm. Anyways, I wanted to post this chapter before I go off to Yaoi Con! Whoo hoo! I leave in two more days so yeah, and I won't have my laptop there cause I think they charge for wifi...lame. Anyways, thanks for your guys reviews on Chapter 8! I'm glad you all enjoyed Z/C's first time! Your guys comments are the best and are my absolute motivation! Will post the next chapter soon! Thanks!**


	10. In Your Eyes

Disclaimer: I don't own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters. And I don't make profit from writing this story, it's just for my own amusement…and perhaps others!

Some words to know!:

Donburi-A bowl of cooked rice with some other kind of food on top of it. Like eggs or tempura.

Sashimi-Raw seafood, usually served with wasabi!

Ramen- Chinese style noodles prepared in a soup with various toppings. Originated in China but very much Japanese now.

* * *

_ Wide blue eyes looked about frantically, taking in the surroundings. The quietness of the evening, the dark sky and the tall trees, all accompanied by the sound of howling wind that seemed like a quiet whisper in the night. It was as if it was crowding in on Cloud and he quickly took a few steps closer to Zack, not wanting to trail behind him at all and get swallowed up by the night._

_ "Stay close," Zack suddenly spoke up when he heard Cloud's footsteps behind him. He cast a glance over his shoulder before reaching out and taking hold of his friend's hand that was shaking and also a little clammy. _

_ Cloud simply nodded as he tightened his grip on Zack's hand. As scary as the place was he felt a lot safer when Zack was near._

_ Letting out a sigh of frustration Zack turned around, scoping out the surroundings. "I thought for sure we should be going this way…but," he explained quietly, more talking to himself than to Cloud._

_ "Are we lost?" Cloud asked softly._

_ "No," Zack replied quickly while turning his gaze back onto Cloud, "don't worry, we'll be home soon." Although he had honestly really said that just to calm Cloud's worries, because the truth of it was…they were lost. They weren't supposed to venture this far off from town into these woods according to their parents. But he and Cloud did all the time, however they never went as deep into it as they had today, and somewhere down the line…a turn here or there had landed them off the path that they were familiar with and the sun had set a while ago making it even harder for Zack to distinguish the way. But even so, he was determined to get them back into town quickly._

_ They had continued on the path they were on, both of them falling silent as they went into their own thoughts. Zack focusing on navigating and Cloud focusing on not being attacked by something out in the woods. The sound of what sounded like a twig snapping froze Cloud in his tracks as he looked around fearfully._

_ "Cloud?" Zack asked when he noticed the blond had halted._

_ "What was that?" Cloud asked quietly while shifting his gaze back to the other._

_ "I didn't hear anything," Zack replied with a shake of his head._

_ "But I…" Cloud continued while looking off into the woods again._

_ "It's probably just the wind," Zack started calmly while squeezing Cloud's hand comfortingly, "let's keep going okay?"_

_ Giving a bit of a broken nod Cloud willed his feet to move as he kept his eyes darting this way and that. They managed to make it a bit further before the sound of leaves shaking up in the trees above caught Cloud's attention. He didn't have time to question what it was before a flurry of dark shaped creatures flew out of the trees above._

_ He let out a scream as they flew about, making chirping type noises and flapping their wings rapidly. Letting go of Zack's hand he covered his head with his arms as if the creatures were going to attack him at any moment._

_ "Cloud its okay," Zack spoke while wrapping his arms around the other before glancing up above them, "it's bats but they're not going to hurt you."_

_ Cloud clung tightly onto the other as he listened to the bat cries become more and more distant as they finally flew away._

_ "It's alright," Zack continued softly as he kept his arms around Cloud hoping that he could comfort him enough to ease his shaking form. _

_ "I don't want to stay out here all night!" Cloud cried while turning his face into Zack's chest.._

_ "You're not going to, we're going to be home soon okay?" Zack said while pulling away slightly to tilt Cloud's chin upward so he was looking into his eyes. It was then that he noticed the tears shining in those wide blue eyes and he felt his heart sink from the sight of it. "Please," Zack started worriedly, "don't cry."_

_ But it was as if those were the magic words because right after the tears began to roll down the blonde's face before he was clinging back to Zack again._

_ "Cloud," Zack started while squeezing the boy tightly. He felt guilty more than ever now for even coming out here to begin with. To be the one responsible for Cloud's tears…he couldn't take that. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you, if anything out here tries to get you, they have to go through me!" _

_ Pulling away slightly Cloud looked up into Zack's smiling face before he continued._

_ "Got it?" Zack asked while removing his arms from around Cloud and taking his hand in his again. "So please don't be scared, I'm here."_

_ 'That's right…Zack's here, I'll be fine,' Cloud thought to himself before lifting a hand to wipe away his tears._

_ "Okay," he said softly while letting Zack lead him further down the path. He was still scared of the sound of rustling leaves, the wind and even the sound of crickets chirping, but looking at Zack who seemed so calm and confident…it settled him down more. _

_ "That's it!" Zack cried after a while of silence, "see the lake Cloud?"_

_ Looking in the direction of Zack's pointed finger Cloud practically lit up at seeing the shimmering lake before them. They were just nearing the edge of the woods and past the lake was town…which meant home!_

_ "See?" Zack asked with a smile while ruffling Cloud's hair, "I told you we'd be home soon."_

_

* * *

  
_

_ 'That was a simpler time'_ Zack thought to himself while running a hand through his hair. Thinking back to that time when they were kids he couldn't help but to let a smile appear on his face, although it was a bit sad. He remembered how scared Cloud had been that night, practically jumping at every little noise and squeezing Zack's hand with all of his strength. And the only thing that Zack could think of was finding the way home soon and keeping Cloud calm. That had turned out to be an interesting evening to say the least, and even though he and Cloud had gotten grounded for a long time after that by their parents…Zack couldn't bring himself to really be upset, because he had managed what he had set out to do.

It had been the story of the two's friendship. Zack was Cloud's comfort, strength and security. It had always been that way, and Zack didn't mind it one bit. To be able to keep Cloud happy meant the world to him, even when they were kids. It was what brought a balance to the two and something that Zack prided himself on. However now…things seemed so different.

Cloud was keeping something from him, he was bothered by something and while Zack had his thoughts on what it could be…the fact that Cloud wasn't telling him hurt the Samurai more than his boyfriend realized. Was he a fool to think that Cloud would still rely on him for everything? They weren't kids anymore sure but…

Glancing down beside him Zack let his eyes fall onto Cloud's sleeping form. He had fallen asleep rather quickly after they had finished making love…and even within that Zack sensed something different. Almost like a sense of urgency and longing but in a way that he hadn't experienced before between them. All of these things were swirling around in his head and he couldn't bring himself to fall asleep, so he had just been sitting up in bed now contemplating everything.

If only Cloud would talk to him, he wanted to be able to lead him out of this too just like he had done before when they were in the woods as kids. But he couldn't do that when Cloud was so deep in the dark…if he wouldn't allow him to take his hand.

"Zack?" Cloud's sleepy voice spoke up as he shifted under the thin blankets. Zack turned his eyes back towards him but he didn't say anything in response.

"What's wrong?" Cloud asked in concern while pushing himself up a bit.

_'Exactly. What's wrong Cloud? What are you hiding from me?'_ Those are the words Zack wanted to speak, but he was sure that Cloud would just tell him nothing as usual. Act as if everything was fine when Zack could clearly read the lie in those blue eyes.

"I…just have some things on my mind," Zack replied just as Cloud's hand slid up his arm, going across his shoulder and neck before sliding his fingers into dark hair. He felt Cloud's fingers run gently through his hair in a soothing motion, something that always made whatever tensions in Zack dissipate quickly.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Cloud asked softly while looking into the others eyes, still keeping his fingers moving through raven hair.

Zack could see the worry and concern in Cloud's eyes so he knew he was sincere with his question, however if Zack spoke what it was that was really bothering him…he didn't know what Cloud would do, would he finally crack and just spill whatever it was?

"I don't…understand why you're keeping things from me," Zack finally admitted before shaking his head, "you've never done that."

"What?" Cloud began while ceasing the stroking of his fingers, "keeping things from you?"

Nodding Zack continued on, "at first I thought it was because maybe the thing with Aerith. I thought that may have been bothering you but…it's not that is it? It's something else."

A silence fell over them as Cloud looked away from Zack's intense gaze. He guessed he wasn't shocked that Zack could sense something was amiss. He always had the hardest time when it came to trying to lie to Zack, and it wasn't that he didn't want to tell Zack what was going on but…he couldn't. After Cloud's last encounter with the Shogun, after what he had promised the man in exchange for his dad's security of Chamberlain on the council…it was hard to even look at Zack at all. True Cloud hadn't seen Hojo since that day, but it was only because it was a crucial time around the castle and he along with the council had been tied up with business, his father included. But once things calmed down once again Cloud knew it was only a matter of time until Hojo would seek him out.

"Cloud," Zack started while turning Cloud's face back towards him, "I know you…I _love_ you. I know when something is wrong and I want to help but I can't if you don't tell me."

"Zack," Cloud began quietly, "I hate to see you worry about me. But really…nothing's wrong. You should be able to trust me when I say that."

Not saying anything for a moment Zack just kept his eyes locked onto Cloud's, searching them for any hint of dishonesty. Letting out a sigh Cloud looked away before laying back against the bed. He reached his arms out toward Zack, silently asking him to forget this topic and come back to bed.

Cloud had told him that he should be able to trust him…and while Zack always had trusted Cloud without hesitance before, he just couldn't seem to be able to with this. Even if Cloud had spoken the words Zack was pretty sure…no _positive_, that Cloud had lied straight to his face.

Weary from the emotional bout of it all Zack moved forward and allowed Cloud to wrap his arms around him and pull him down onto the bed with him. Cloud kept his arms wrapped around his boyfriend while running his hand along his back comfortingly. It was the only thing he could do to try to calm the other, because telling him what he wanted, telling him the truth…it just wasn't an option.

* * *

"Sorry I'm late Angeal!" Zack shouted while making his way over to his mentor who was waiting for him in the courtyard. The man cast his pupil a look, giving him a once over before speaking up.

"I haven't been waiting for long, but even so you need to try to be more punctual," Angeal explained.

"Sorry Sorry," Zack replied with a grin while scratching the back of his head. He had gotten too caught up with Cloud this morning. His parent's were away and he and Cloud had been taking full advantage of that. Since they had taken their relationship to the next level it was essential for them to have some privacy, _real_ privacy. So needless to say when an opportunity presented itself they didn't hesitate at all.

"What do you say we go into town and get something to eat while reviewing the material?" Angeal asked, figuring it would be better to get some food in Zack while he went over the specifics of the upcoming assignments and such. He wasn't new to Zack's antsy ways and he knew his student was more focused if he had something else to keep him occupied.

"Sure!" Zack beamed. True he had eaten before he had come here but he could always go for more. Cloud had woken up before he did that morning and had prepared breakfast for the two of them, joking that Zack would starve if he wasn't around while his mom was away. Although Zack didn't disagree at all, he knew squat about cooking. However most of the guys he knew were the same way. But somehow Cloud had learned from his mom.

Even when they were little Zack remembered Cloud stepping into the kitchen and trying to assist Natsumi as she prepared meals. And she always allowed him to do so, giving him vegetables and allowing him to wash them. Or carefully guiding his hand as he chopped fish. It was something Saito always gave Cloud grief over, but Cloud insisted it was a good thing to know.

They made their way into town, heading into a teahouse that Zack wasn't familiar with but it looked nice enough. A young girl approached them with a bow before telling them to have a seat and then she had scurried off to the back. They had only been at the table for a moment before she reappeared with a tray. She set down their cups on the table before filling them with hot tea and setting the pot on the table.

Zack reached for his cup and took a sip before quickly pulling it away and setting it back on the table, causing Angeal to raise an eyebrow at him.

"Too hot," Zack said with a smile.

"Oh, I can bring you another pot at a different temperature," the girl spoke while reaching out to grab the pot of tea.

"Oh no," Zack started while reaching out for her hand to stop her from taking the tea away, "please it's fine. It'll be good after a moment."

"Well okay," the girl replied with a slight blush on her cheeks. "Are you two ready to order?"

"Just ramen for me," Angeal spoke while picking up his cup of tea.

"I think I'll have donburi," Zack decided as the girl gave a nod, preparing to walk away from the table. "Oh!" Zack chimed before she got too far away, "and also maybe sashimi please?"

Nodding once more the girl scampered off and Angeal shook his head at the other.

"What?" Zack said with a smile, "you know you'll want some once you see it."

"I should ask you not to make the waitress so flustered," Angeal spoke up with a small smile.

"Huh?" Zack asked while blinking his eyes, "what did I do?"

"Not much I suppose, but enough," Angeal explained while setting down his cup.

Letting out a laugh Zack scratched the back of his head, "oh well…"

Angeal couldn't help but to smile. Zack was a natural charmer, all he had to do was smile at a girl and they would melt. So a small touch like Zack had done earlier would clearly only make things worse, but amused Angeal how Zack seemed to be unaware of it.

"I was hoping to have Kunsel here as well but he still seems to be away," Angeal continued while pulling out a file.

"Yeah I don't think he'll be back until tomorrow evening at best," Zack spoke while leaning on the table with his elbows.

"It's fine," Angeal said while looking at the contents before him, "when he returns I may be sending him and you along with others on another assignment. Apparently the Shogun thinks it's a top priority now."

Just from hearing the Shogun mentioned Zack's smile fell and he narrowed his eyes slightly. "Top priority how?"

"Not all of that information has been disclosed yet, "Angeal said while looking up at Zack, "but just be aware that you may be going on this and it could be similar to the last time."

"What?" Zack asked as his eyes widened slightly, "you mean…as in duration?"

"Possibly, it depends on the severity of the situation once you get there," Angeal explained just as the waitress returned setting down their dishes before them.

"Angeal I can't do that back to back," Zack started with a shake of his head, "and I can't be gone that long again…I can't. It's too soon."

"What do you mean you can't?" Angeal asked sternly while picking up his chopsticks, "you're a Samurai, this is your job."

"I know but I…" Zack continued while trailing off a bit helplessly. _I can't leave Cloud again. I won't! He needs me. _

Not saying anything for the moment Angeal studied the other. He knew something was bothering his pupil. Zack was always a ball of energy and whenever his face fell and his spirits wilted it was a red flag to Angeal that something serious must be wrong.

"I assume this has to do with Cloud," Angeal stated while picking at his ramen.

"Well," Zack began while lifting blue eyes up towards the man.

Letting out a sigh Angeal shook his head at the sad puppy eyes he was receiving from the boy.

"Zack," Angeal started, "I understand your worry, but I'm sure nothing will happen with the Shogun and Cloud again. After that night I'm sure he's backed down."

_Wait what? That night? The Shogun and Cloud…_

Angeal frowned at the look that crossed over Zack's face and he set down his chopsticks before leaning back slightly.

"Zack?" He asked unsure as he kept a hard gaze on the Samurai.

"Tell me what happened," Zack demanded with a serious voice, his eyes boring into his mentor's.

"What?" Angeal asked in slight confusion.

"That night, what you're talking about. What happened with Cloud and the Shogun?" Zack continued, becoming more anxious.

"While you were away. That time at the dinner, when Cloud's food was…" Angeal started before tilting his head a little, "you didn't know about this?"

Zack quickly shook his head and Angeal let out a sigh while pinching the bridge of his nose briefly.

"I thought for sure Cloud had told you this when you came back," he explained.

"He didn't," Zack continued while leaning further onto the table, "Angeal please tell me…I need to know what happened."

"This isn't…my place. If Cloud wanted you to know he would've told you himself. I don't think I should be-"

"Angeal, please!" Zack suddenly shouted, causing a few heads in the small tea house to turn and look their way.

"Zack," Angeal began sternly, while sending Zack a warning glare. His student lowered his head a little before leaning back from the table. But he still kept his eyes pleading and didn't look away from the other.

"There was a resident dinner one evening," Angeal began, deciding to give into Zack's whining. "Cloud and his family attended, as did I, and of course the Shogun. The night seemed to be going well but a little later into the evening I couldn't find Cloud anywhere and I had learned that the Shogun had left sometime during the night."

Zack didn't like the sound of this so far. His hands were on the edge of the table and gripping it tightly as he listened to Angeal continue to explain the events to him.

"After a little searching around I went to Hojo's quarters and Cloud was there. I took him home with me that night. It appeared that somehow Cloud had eaten something at the dinner that had been drugged, and it was that way that the Shogun had been able to take him away so easily."

"Drugged?" Zack asked in disbelief before shaking his head, "How did….I mean…when you got there was everything okay? Was Cloud…"

"He was a bit shaken up of course, "Angeal supplied, "but I got there in time before anything more could happen."

Dropping his gaze Zack continued to shake his head. He couldn't believe it, if Angeal hadn't noticed that Cloud was gone…if Zack hadn't asked Angeal to keep an eye on him while he was away, then that night…surely Hojo would've…

Why didn't Cloud tell him? He had asked him when he returned if everything was okay! If the Shogun didn't harm him in any way and Cloud had told him everything was fine. Why didn't he tell him what happened? Why was Cloud…constantly lying to him?

"Zack," Angeal started while keeping his gaze on the younger one. He didn't know what was going on in his mind and he was hoping that he would stay calm about this. "I know Cloud's your friend and you want to protect him, but this is-"

"No," Zack spoke quietly with a shake of his head. "Cloud is," he continued while clenching his fist tightly, "he's my…"

"I know," Angeal replied gently with a nod. "I know Zack."

Glancing up at his mentor and noticing the understanding look he was giving him Zack gave a nod. He was partly aware that Angeal knew about him and Cloud, although he had never told him straight up he knew that he sensed it. But he definitely knew now.

"Why didn't he tell me?" Zack asked while placing his elbows back on the table.

"I imagine he just didn't want to worry you," Angeal explained before picking back up his chopsticks.

_So he'd rather shoulder this all alone? I'm his boyfriend, I should worry about him! Cloud…I don't want you to close me out._

"You haven't even taken one bite of your food," Angeal said while pointing to Zack's cooling bowl of donburi. "It's in the past, try to relax and not let it bother you."

Picking up his chopsticks slowly Zack looked at the food before him.

_I don't know about that Angeal…is it really in the past? Or is there still more going on?_

_

* * *

  
_

"Come on!"

"I don't know…I mean that would take time and I'm not even sure what I would want to do," Cloud explained to his bouncing friend beside him.

"It would just come to you!" Aerith beamed, "like all your other work does."

"Maybe," Cloud replied with a sigh. They were out in their usual garden, Cloud with his sketchbook and Aerith tending to her flowers. But somewhere during the course of time Aerith had brought up the upcoming cherry blossom festival. Cloud knew it was coming up, his mother was a seamstress and every time the festival came around she always began to work on special kimonos for them to wear for the event. But now Aerith was telling him that he should work on his painting and submit it in the gallery for the festival. And while it did sound like an interesting idea, he didn't know if he really had the time. That and he still hadn't even tried his hand at painting. The one canvas that he had purchased to do so still remained blank and was covered in his room.

"Not maybe, you will!" Aerith continued, "do you how many people like your work? But not everyone gets a chance to see it, so this way you can show it to tons of people!"

"I'll think about it," Cloud replied with a smile, clearly amused by his friend's enthusiasm.

"Good enough for now I guess," Aerith said with a smile before making her way to the stream of water and taking a seat by the edge.

Lifting his gaze from his sketch he looked to his friend who had begun to try to skip rocks across the tiny steam. He kind of wanted to ask her if she had changed her mind about inviting Zack to the Council dinner since he hadn't heard about it in a while. But then again maybe she forgot…and he didn't want to bring it up and remind her. That would just be one more problem he would have to worry about.

_ One more problem…_

Shaking his head he dropped his eyes back to his sketchbook, taking his pencil and lightly shading the sky in the landscape. He almost scratched across the page however when the sound of a door slamming loudly caused him to jump. Looking towards the garden entry way his eyes widened when he saw Zack step into view.

"Zack," Aerith began while placing a hand on her chest, "you scared me."

"I'm sorry," Zack replied quickly while shifting his focus towards Cloud.

The blond raised an eyebrow; Zack had never come out to this garden. In face Cloud didn't even know that Zack was aware where it was. Not too many people knew about the garden in this corridor, which was the reason why Cloud and Aerith came to it.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Cloud finally asked while lowering his sketchbook to the ground.

"Looking for you," Zack said once he walked over right in front of Cloud.

"Oh…why," Cloud began with a look of confusion, "is everything okay?"

Reaching out his hand Zack grabbed a hold of Cloud's before pulling him up to his feet quickly. "We need to talk."

"Well," Cloud started while giving Zack a bit of an odd look, "can it wait till tonight? I thought you had things to do right now anyways."

"They can wait," Zack continued while squeezing Cloud's hand harder, "we need to talk to now."

"Okay fine," Cloud replied before trying to pull his hand away from Zack's now crushing grip, "Zack," he started while giving his boyfriend a wary look.

He started to walk away, keeping his hand around Cloud's before he realized that going into the castle wouldn't be the best idea. They had more privacy out here, aside from…

"Zack let go!" Cloud said with an irritated tone while trying to snatch his hand away again. But Zack wasn't letting that happen, although he did relax his grip on the other. He hadn't intentionally meant to grab Cloud's hand so hard, but he was just so worked up.

"What's wrong?" Cloud asked while pushing at Zack's chest to put a little distance between them. Upon coming into the garden Zack hadn't smiled at him or even greeted him for that matter. He had just gone straight towards him and snatched him up, and even now with their close proximity there seemed to be some sort of angry aura radiating off of the Samurai. In all honesty Cloud was a bit unnerved by it all.

"Aerith do you think you can give us a minute?" Zack asked while turning his focus towards the girl.

"Oh," Aerith began while standing to her feet, "I…sure yeah," she replied with a nod. She had been sitting there watching everything unfold before her with a look of concern and also confusion. She hadn't ever seen Zack look anything but happy…so this was a change of pace. Not lingering around for any longer she said a quick bye to the two before exiting out of the garden and making her way back into the castle.

Once Zack heard the door close he turned his gaze back onto Cloud and let go of his hand. Cloud was staring back at him with wide eyes and he almost looked a little…scared. Gritting his teeth Zack looked away briefly. He didn't mean to scare him but…he was just so angry! Confused, he just…

"Are you going to keep lying to me?" Zack asked, surprisingly calm as he turned his gaze back to Cloud.

"What is this," Cloud began with a shake of his head, "Zack I really don't know what you're talking about."

Scuffing a hand through his hair Zack let out a laugh, more from frustration than humor. "Oh really?" He asked, "So you didn't lie when I came back from my last assignment and you said nothing happened with the Shogun? You were telling me the truth?"

Sucking in a breath at those words Cloud looked away. He had almost forgotten about that with everything else that had been going on. But from the way Zack had said it Cloud was sure that he knew about what happened. How had he found out? Did Angeal tell him? It had to be, he was the only other person who knew.

"Zack that was…different," Cloud started softly.

"Different? What does that mean?" Zack asked, shocked by Cloud's response.

"Because I didn't lie to you because I wanted to keep some big dark secret from you!" Cloud shot back, "I did it because…I hadn't seen you for so long and I missed you! And I didn't want to ruin our time with talking about the Shogun or having you get angry! And I didn't want to replay that whole night again, I just wanted to forget about it! And I figured it was done and it just…didn't matter."

"Well it _is _a big dark secret!" Zack countered just as quickly, "and I understand that you don't want to talk about it, it's not pleasant, I get that! But what I don't get is why you lied about it, something that serious you would hide from me? If anything I thought I would be the person that you came to with something like this. But I have to find out from _Angeal _that my boyfriend was almost raped, and I wouldn't have known a damn thing about it otherwise!"

Raped. That word seemed to hang in the air thickly and Cloud kept his eyes averted from Zack. He knew Zack was right, and if Angeal hadn't been there that night…Cloud was more than aware about what would've happened. Maybe that was another reason why he hadn't said anything to Zack; he didn't want to admit to what almost really happened. To not say anything about it, to say everything was fine…was almost like erasing it from his memory.

Letting out a quiet sigh Zack stepped forward. He knew that the subject was probably still sensitive for Cloud, and he didn't want to make things worse but he just needed Cloud to understand him.

"Cloud, I love you. Of course when I hear something like this it hurts me," Zack continued, "and the fact that you kept it from me…I just don't get that. I'm here for you, I've always been here for you. And that's no different now."

Lifting a hand Cloud wiped away the few tears that had managed to escape from his eyes so quickly. The next thing he knew was Zack's arms were wrapped tightly around him, holding him close as he started to cry, not caring about holding the tears back anymore and completely unraveled there in his lovers arms.

"Talk to me," Zack started soothingly after a while, "what else is it that's bothering you?"

"I can't tell you," Cloud finally admitted while clinging to Zack tightly, "I want to but I can't."

"Of course you can," Zack replied while threading his fingers into blond hair.

"I can't," Cloud insisted while burying his face in his boyfriend's chest. "You'd hate me and…I don't want that."

_Hate me?_ Those words were enough to unsettle Zack and he pulled away slightly to look down at Cloud. He cupped his face with his hands and tilted his head up, looking into a tear streaked face and sad eyes.

"Cloud," he began softly while wiping away the tears, "I could never hate you. Never. No matter what. Please never think that. Okay?"

Cloud gave a weak nod, still not entirely sure about that. After all, once Zack knew what he had told the Shogun, how could he ever look at him the same again?

"Tell me what's wrong," Zack said again, keeping his eyes locked onto the innocent blue while placing his arms back around him.

Closing his eyes briefly Cloud decided to just give in. He couldn't keep lying to Zack anymore, he _wouldn't. _To hurt the person that he cared most about in the world because of the sick, twisted Shogun…it hardly seemed fair.

"That night of the dinner that Angeal told you about," Cloud started while looking up at Zack who just gave a brief nod, urging Cloud to continue, "well I didn't hear anything from the Shogun after and so I thought…maybe it would be okay from that point on. But then later, I got a message from him saying he wanted to see me."

"When?" Zack asked, interrupting Cloud's explanation.

"He didn't say when, just…he wanted to see me soon. I got that message a little after you had gotten back," Cloud continued, "but then it had been weeks since I heard anything from him and I had gotten sick so I wasn't out as much. But I ran into him when I went to meet my dad at the conference hall a while ago…"

He trailed off after this and Zack squeezed him tighter before running his hand up and down his back comfortingly, trying to give him the courage to continue.

"He mentioned the message, and said he wanted to set up some time for us to get together. And I told him no and…something else along the lines of not liking me. But I guess that made him upset and he said my father's position as Chamberlain was easily replaceable."

Zack stopped his motions at that and Cloud hugged him tighter as more tears fell from his eyes.

"Zack I couldn't let my dad lose his position because of me! It's not fair; everything would be turned upside down if Hojo got rid of my dad on the council. I would do anything to make sure that didn't happen…I can't."

"Cloud?" Zack asked unsure, "wait what are you-"

"I told you that you'd hate me!" Cloud cried while clenching his hands into the front of Zack's clothes.

Pulling Cloud back abruptly Zack held him by his shoulders as he searched his face for clarity.

"What did you do?" Zack asked as his eyes widened. He couldn't hide the worry from his voice at that moment even if he wanted to.

"I told him…I'd do anything he wanted but he had to promise me that my dad's position would be safe. He had to…promise me that," Cloud explained between sobs while shaking his head, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Zack's stomach dropped once his boyfriend had uttered those words and for a moment it seemed like everything had stopped. The Shogun was getting so desperate, that since drugging Cloud hadn't proven to work before he was now resorting to the one thing that would actually make Cloud sway. Using his father as leverage was the only way that would get to Cloud and Hojo was very well aware of that. He was playing the blackmail card so to speak, and he knew he was playing it well.

Sinking to his knees suddenly Cloud continued to cry while covering his face with his hands.

"Cloud," Zack began while dropping down in front of the other and quickly wrapping him up in his arms.

"I didn't know what else to do…I couldn't do anything else," Cloud explained while clutching at the Samurai.

"Don't worry, nothing's going to happen. He can't do that, he's only trying to scare you into doing what he wants," Zack told him softly, "its okay."

"He can!" Cloud cried, "And next time I see him I know he's going to-"

"Don't," Zack broke in quickly while tightening his hold on the smaller one, "he's not going to lay a hand on you."

"Zack," Cloud began shakily, "I'm scared to…see him again. I've been thinking about it constantly and I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Next time you see him keep it exactly the same," Zack spoke firmly, "you don't go anywhere with him. No matter what he says, his threats are useless. He can't take your father off the council without any reason behind it. Shogun or not he can't, that's just not how the council works."

"I don't know…he made it seem like he could," Cloud replied.

"That's because he was counting on you to believe that," Zack continued before shaking his head, "but he can't. Trust me," he finished before placing a kiss on top of blond spikes.

"I'm sorry," Cloud said again while closing his eyes and leaning against his boyfriend who continued to hold him close against him.

"It's okay, don't apologize," Zack spoke softly; "Don't be scared, he's not going to lay a finger on you."

_I'll see it to it that he won't. That you can be sure of._

_

* * *

  
_

"Your Excellency the meeting is about to begin," Elena announced while stepping into the office.

"Very well," Hojo replied while turning away from the window he was peering out briefly. "Elena," he continued while looking back out the window to the garden, "are you familiar with Angeal's pupil that tends to be around here often?"

"You must mean Zack Fair," Elena answered with a nod, "I know him well enough I suppose. Why do you ask?"

"Yes I thought his name was Zack," Hojo said to himself, while looking out the window at the blond who was being held in the Samurai's arms. "What are his ties to Chamberlain Saito's son?"

Elena thought for a moment before speaking, "I know they're best friends. I believe they grew up together, they seem to be pretty close."

_Pretty close indeed._

"I see," the Shogun said with a bit of a smirk before finally taking his gaze away from the window, "we better go, I don't want to delay the meeting."

* * *

Authors Note: And here is Chapter 10! It's a little short so forgive me for that! But, I mainly focused this chapter on Cloud and his hiding things from Zack, because this needed to be worked out before the story progressed. But now that Zack is aware, does that mean things will be better? And will Cloud go back on his promise to the Shogun? Would it even be that easy? And now that Hojo has seen Cloud and Zack together, what's going to happen? Hmm, Guess you got to stick around to find out! Thanks for the reviews everyone! I will post the next chap soon!


	11. Torn Asunder

Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters!

"Hold this right there for me. Steady," Natsumi explained while taking a few pins and sticking them into the silk fabric.

"Mom be careful that's my hand," Cloud started while moving his hand to another part of the fabric to avoid the sharp needle.

"I see you," Natsumi dismissed with a small chuckle. This was how it was every year when the Cherry Blossom Festival neared. Natsumi would always set out to make the nicest kimono for her family to wear to the event, and Cloud always got roped into being his mom's assistant as she sewed the garments.

"So, how's your painting coming along?" Natsumi asked while placing a pin carefully between her teeth before leaning back in with another and stitching together the seams.

"I didn't start on it," Cloud replied while adjusting his hands once more on the material, keeping his blue eyes focused on his mom's expert movements.

"What?" Natsumi asked while lifting her gaze briefly to look at Cloud, "you can't start on something like that so late."

"I never said I was actually going to do it," Cloud explained. He had told his mom about Aerith's suggestion to submit a painting at the festival, but now that he had his mom had only been pushing him further to do it. It wasn't that he didn't want to but he still hadn't even tried a painting yet, and he wasn't sure his first one he would want to put on display like that. Besides, he was lacking the real motivation to do it; he still didn't even know what it was he would do if he did begin.

"Stalling will get you nowhere," Natsumi continued while taking the pin out from between her teeth. "What if I waited until the last moment to work on these? They would look like rags!"

Cloud let out a brief laugh while shaking his head. Even if his mom did start late on them he was sure they wouldn't look like rags, since he was little he knew that his mom was a great seamstress and everything she did was practically flawless. Maybe that's where he got his perfectionism from when it came to his art.

"Alright, I guess that's good enough for now," Natsumi began while leaning back slightly to look at the incomplete garment, "I should be starting dinner."

"Okay," Cloud replied while letting go of the fabric he had been holding in place for his mom while she stitched away. "Do you need help?"

"No I've got it," Natsumi said with a smile before patting Cloud's cheek, "you've been more than enough help for today. But you could feed Tama for me."

Nodding Cloud made his way into the kitchen where he retrieved the cat's small dish and filled it with some of the left over fish from the night before. He didn't even have to call out for her before she was trotting over towards him once she caught the smell in the air, her little bell tinkling all the way. He scratched her behind her ears for a moment as she ate and then he had made his way down the hall into his room. He really hadn't had much time lately to just be able to lounge around in there, the past few days had been sort of busy.

His lessons had picked up, not to mention he was still trying to catch up from the things he missed when he was sick. He had gone into town with his mom the other day to get more of the fabric she would need, and his dad had asked him to come to his office after that to help him with some things. That left very little time for him in the evening, and that meant that he only got to see Zack briefly. After all he had a whole bunch of things he was doing too. He had mentioned to Cloud that Angeal had mentioned something about possibly sending him away again, although he wasn't sure when or if it was actually going to happen. But it was still something that Cloud didn't want to hear.

And Zack seemed pretty reluctant about it too. Since Cloud had told him what he did about Hojo, the blonde could tell that Zack seemed very wary to let Cloud out of his sight. And if he did he needed to know exactly where he was going to be. But Cloud didn't really blame him; he had lied to him after all. He still felt guilty about that but he really felt like he had no other choice at the time.

Letting out a sigh he took a seat on his bed before glancing across the room and looking at the blank canvas that was resting against the wall. He had the time now to attempt something, but he still didn't know. However he didn't think on it too long before the sound of the front door slamming caught his attention. He heard his mom say something in a surprised tone, but he wasn't worried when he heard her say "Saito." He was just about to dismiss his father's loud entrance but then he heard footsteps' getting closer to his room before his door was quickly slid open.

His father was standing in the doorframe, his eyes angry and his brows knitted together in the way they always did when he was upset. Only thing was Cloud didn't know why his dad was upset now…and why did it seem to be directed at him?

Cloud didn't say anything; he simply looked up to his dad from his spot on the bed, his eyes silently questioning what was wrong.

"You are not to go anywhere outside of this house anymore unless you get permission from me," Saito explained firmly, "the only exception is your lessons and straight after that you come back home."

Eyes widening slightly Cloud stared back in silence. He knew his dad really never liked him staying out late, and there was some days when he told him he wanted him straight back home…but he never completely confined him this way.

"Why?" Cloud asked softly.

"Because I _said_ so," Saito replied before turning and walking out of the room.

The only thing that Cloud could do was stare at the spot that his father had just been standing. What was that all about? Cloud was sure he hadn't done anything to warrant his father's aggression, he made sure to mind him just so that things like this wouldn't happen. Standing up he walked over to the door before closing it again, a frown settled on his face. There was no way he could stay in the house all the time! Why was his dad trying to keep him locked up like some prisoner?

He stayed in his room until his mother called him for dinner, and even then he remained quiet at the table as his parents talked. His mom tried to get him to talk a few times but he only kept his responses short and so she finally gave up after a while. Saito on the other hand didn't seem to be fazed at all by Cloud's down mood. Once he was finished he asked to be excused and went back into his room where he flopped on his bed and glared up at the ceiling. He stayed that way for a while, even dozing off for a moment before waking up once he thought he heard a knock at the front door.

Sitting up he strained his hearing to see if he could hear anything else, and sure enough he heard his mom's cheerful voice as she greeted the guest. He instantly perked up once he realized that it was Zack at the door and he slid off his bed before making his way across the room. Sliding open his door he was surprised to see his father emerging from his room as well as he made his way down the hall. Cloud followed behind him until they reached the entrance where Zack and Natsumi were currently talking.

"Are you sure you're not hungry? We have plenty left over from dinner," Natsumi offered with a smile.

"I'm fine really Auntie," Zack replied with a laugh, "thank you."

"Well okay," Natsumi spoke before noticing Cloud and Saito stepping into the room.

"Good evening Zack," Saito spoke while turning his focus to the Samurai.

"Uncle," Zack started with a brief bow to the man.

"I heard you may be going away. I'm surprised to see you," Saito continued while narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Well I may be," Zack started, "but I haven't gotten word on when I'll be heading out, if I do at all."

"I see," Saito replied before Cloud moved from behind him to step closer to Zack. He had just given the other a smile when he felt his father's arm reach out to block him from stepping forward any further. Stopping Cloud looked up to his dad and gave him a questioning look.

"I'm sorry Zack," Saito began seriously, "but I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

The look that crossed Zack's face at that moment could only be described as confusion.

"Saito!" Natsumi snapped while giving her husband an annoyed look.

"Dad what are you-" Cloud started before his father continued, turning his gaze towards Cloud.

"You're no longer to see him anymore. Here or otherwise," Saito explained before turning his focus back towards Zack.

"What are you talking about?" Cloud instantly asked as his eyes widened. No longer see Zack? Was his father crazy!?

"I don't need to explain myself," Saito replied, "you'd be wise not to push this matter any further, you'll only make me angry."

"Saito," Natsumi began unsurely while shifting her eyes between the three before her.

"Zack." Saito spoke with a nod while fixing his gaze on the other.

What had just happened? Zack wasn't sure, and he wanted more than anything to tell Saito that he wasn't going anywhere. But he really had no right to do so, and he couldn't disrespect the man in his own house.

"I," Zack began before turning his gaze towards Cloud who looked completely stunned at the moment. "I understand," Zack finished while giving the man a bow.

"Zack!" Cloud shouted just before Zack turned to leave. No way, what was he doing? He couldn't just go…he couldn't! Once Zack had stepped out of the residence Saito moved to close the door behind him, preparing to walk back down the hall as if nothing at all had happened.

"No!" Cloud suddenly shouted, "You can't do that!"

Stopping in his tracks Saito turned and gave Cloud an icy glare. "You want to raise your voice to me?"

At the moment Cloud didn't care. He was always respectful of his parents and actually pretty scared of his father at times. But this? There was no way he was just going to sit by and let that happen.

"He's my best friend! Why would you say that?" Cloud continued before Natsumi walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Saito I don't understand," his mother began with a shake of her head.

"Natsumi, let me handle this," Saito replied while sending the woman a look that told her not to stick her nose into the matter.

"It doesn't matter I won't let you do this!" Cloud began while moving towards the door.

"Step out of this house and you'll be sorry," Saito said sternly. "Zack was able to respect me and my own son can't even do the same?"

Halting at his father's words he let them sink in. True, Zack had seemed surprised by his father's words but he didn't make a scene and he respectfully listened to his request. But…it wasn't that easy! Why was his father suddenly taking everything from him? It didn't make any sense at all.

"I won't allow for such a relationship to continue," Saito spoke before finally turning and continuing down the hall to his room.

_ Such a relationship…_

Turning away from the door Cloud stood in shock as he realized what his father had just said to him. He…knew? But how? Cloud couldn't think of anyway that his dad would think something more was going on between Zack and him. They had been friends for so long and they're spending time together was nothing out of the ordinary, they always appeared casual when around others. So how…

"Cloud," Natsumi began while walking over towards him and wrapping her arms around him. "I'm not sure what's got your father so angry at the moment, but he'll calm down soon enough. Zack's your best friend. He wouldn't keep you two apart."

However Cloud didn't take much comfort at all in those words from his mother, because he knew once his father had made up his mind about something it was almost impossible for him to be swayed.

* * *

Staring blankly at his notebook Cloud was only vaguely aware that he was supposed to be writing something down in it. But he couldn't concentrate on his lesson at the moment, he had way too many other things on his mind and he honestly didn't care at all about his lessons. In fact this morning he wanted to just stay home and flat out refuse going to lessons just to make his father angry. But even he knew that that would only make matters worse, and honestly it just wasn't in Cloud's nature to try to test his father like that. Although that still didn't change the fact that he didn't feel like doing anything at all during this time. He would go to his lessons like he was supposed to, but it didn't mean he would participate.

"Cloud?" Aerith asked quietly while peering over at the blank page before him. "Do you need some help?"

"No," Cloud snapped back quickly before turning away more from the girl. He didn't want to talk to her, he didn't want her help…he didn't even want to look at her. Because he knew….he just _knew _that it was Aerith that had mentioned something about Zack and him. It was the only thing that made sense! Aerith was the only one who would have motive to do so, she was the only one who would gain from separating the two, and she was the one who was out in the garden that day! And who knew, maybe she never even completely really left, maybe she had stayed behind and spied on the two or something. Cloud wasn't really sure, but the only thing he knew was that she must've told someone. Perhaps the Magistrate? And of course with him being on the council word would get to his father quickly.

"Are you okay?" Aerith asked quietly before looking over to their teacher who was occupied in reading some sort of notes.

Cloud didn't respond and only continued to stare down at his open notebook, wishing for the time to go by so he could leave this place and get away from Aerith.

Frowning slightly Aerith reached out, planning to place a gentle hand on Cloud's shoulder but she reconsidered and dropped her hand beside her. There was obviously something bothering Cloud but he didn't seem to want to talk at all. She wondered if it had anything to do with Zack, after all that last time that she had seen the two of them it seemed like there was some sort of tension in the air.

The sound of the door opening caused Cloud to shift his eyes in that direction. He was slightly surprised to see Kunsel enter of all people.

"Excuse me," Kunsel said to the teacher with a brief bow, "I was asked to deliver a message to Cloud Strife. It's from the Chamberlain."

"Alright," the teacher replied with a gesture of her hand, allowing Kunsel to enter into the room fully. The few other students in the room finally dropped their gazes back to their work as Kunsel made his way over towards Cloud, note in hand.

"It's from Zack," Kunsel said, leaning down and whispering into Cloud's ear while setting the note on the table in front of him.

Cloud's eyes widened noticeably and he quickly picked up the note before looking to Kunsel and nodding. "Thank you."

The Samurai gave a smile before pulling back. He gave a small nod to Aerith who gave him a smile before he was crossing the room and heading back out into the castle.

Quickly unfolding the paper, although quietly, Cloud let his eyes scan the note.

_If you can manage it, please meet me at Angeal's quarters after your lessons. I'll be waiting there for you. And it's probably a good idea after you read this note to destroy it._

"Takako Sensei!" Cloud blurted before tearing up the small note while looking over to his teacher who lowered the papers she was reading and gave Cloud an odd look.

"I'm sorry," Cloud continued while rising from his seat and giving a bow, "but may I be excused early? Something came up and my father needs to see me as soon as possible."

Hesitating for a moment the woman gave a nod, "That's fine Cloud, why don't you just hand me what you've finished so far before you go."

"Uh," Cloud started while looking down to the blank page once more, "if it's okay I'd really like to finish it. I can hand it in first thing tomorrow."

"That's fine," Takako replied with a smile while a few of the other students let out quiet whines. The woman really had no problem with letting Cloud turn in work later, he had always been one of her best students. Many of the kids of council members thought that they could just sail through their work without putting much effort into it simply because of their position, but not Cloud.

"Thank you!" Cloud said once more with a bow before picking up his notebook and heading towards the door. He thought he heard Aerith say goodbye quietly to him, but he didn't turn around to see or reply back.

Stepping out into the castle halls he quickly made his way towards Angeal's quarters. True Zack told him to come after lessons but Cloud couldn't wait that long. And aside from that his father told him he needed to be home right away after lessons, and even though his father should be working if he found out that he wasn't home when he was supposed to it would only make things worse. So Cloud was hoping that Zack was already at Angeal's, he _needed_ for him to be.

He barely even said a word to anyone who greeted him in the halls and instead just gave a rushed bow without even stopping his steps. Finally making his way to the Samurai's quarters he lifted a small fist and knocked rapidly. He partly wondered if Angeal was there or not, but it didn't matter to him either way. He was greeted with silence and a frown settled on his face before he continued to knock. Was Zack not here yet? It looked like he had come too soon. Letting out a sigh he leaned his head against the door briefly before reaching down and pulling on the door to slide it open. He figured it would be okay if he went inside, Zack was expecting him so what would it matter if he waited inside? Besides, he had spent enough time here when Zack was away to be familiar with the place.

Stepping into the living room after removing his shoes he looked about the residence, noting that it was indeed vacant. But no sooner than he had realized that did he hear the sound of the door sliding open and shutting softly.

Staring at the entry way he waited for whoever it was that had entered to come into view. Was it Zack? Angeal?

"Cloud?" The Samurai asked as his blue eyes widened, clearly not expecting to see the younger one here so soon.

"Zack," Cloud breathed while dropping his notebook to the floor without a second thought before rushing over and throwing his arms around the other.

Zack returned the embrace, pulling the boy closer against him and holding him tightly. It felt like it had been forever since he had held him in his arms this way, even if it really had only been a matter of days. In his book, that was far too long.

"I wasn't expecting you until later," Zack started, "if at all. I wasn't sure you would come."

"Of course I'd come," Cloud replied quickly while pulling back slightly to look up at Zack, "I left from lessons early…I just had to see you."

"Cloud," Zack began while pulling Cloud back to him. The blond wrapped his arms even more tightly around his boyfriend while letting out a sigh of content. They didn't say anything for a while, simply holding each other and soaking in the comfort that the other one gave. When they were like this they could temporarily shut out the rest of the world and not have a worry. But…it was only temporary.

Pulling away once more Cloud looked up at Zack again, but this time there was a certain look in his eyes. A look that Zack couldn't exactly place, that is until those golden eyebrows knitted together and that mouth twisted into a pout of sorts. It was a look that Zack was all too familiar with, a look that clearly meant Cloud was angry. But before Zack could question him at all Cloud's lips had already parted.

"Why did you just walk out like that yesterday!?" Cloud asked while pushing against Zack's chest to put a little distance between them. "It was like you didn't…care."

"Cloud," Zack said while shaking his head. "You know that's not it at all. It's just I had no idea what your dad was talking about, and he seemed angry enough. The last thing I wanted to do was give him even more reason to keep us apart if I upset him and disrespected him in any way."

"I can understand that," Cloud replied softly. He guessed that was why Zack was more mature than he was, while Cloud had had an outburst from his father's words Zack was able to remain calm and look at it from all angles, cutting down any more damage than was necessary.

"Although I don't know why he said that," Zack continued while wrapping his arms around Cloud once more.

"I do," Cloud said while leaning against his lover's strong chest.

"Hmm?"

"He knows about us," Cloud explained while shutting his eyes.

"What?" Zack asked while looking down to Cloud who opened his eyes and turned them upward again. He simply nodded, keeping sad blue eyes on the other as he tightened his grip around his waist.

"No," Zack said with a brief laugh, "there's no way. How could he?"

"Zack he told me," Cloud continued, "and he said he wouldn't let a relationship like ours continue."

Zack felt his stomach drop at those words. He understood Saito was a proud man, and he already had his problems with Cloud choosing a different path rather than what he had envisioned for him. So with finding out about this? It probably seemed like the final straw to him. But Zack couldn't help but to wonder, if Saito weren't Chamberlain…would it really even matter?

"How?" Zack asked, still feeling completely floored with the information.

"Aerith," Cloud spat while letting go of Zack. Turning around he walked over to the window and peered down into the courtyard. "Who else could it be?"

"Aerith?" Zack began with a raised eyebrow, "she doesn't know."

"Oh _yeah_ she does," Cloud replied while turning back around to face Zack, his arms crossed over his chest. "That day when you came out into the garden she was there. She saw enough, and who else besides her was there? Maybe she saw and heard more than we thought! I mean is it really a coincidence that not much longer from then does my dad throw this at us?"

Letting the information sink in Zack ran a hand through his hair. Would Aerith really do that? She was their friend, surely she wouldn't say anything to anyone right? Even if she did harbor a small crush for Zack, would she really be so cold as to purposely try to cause problems for both Cloud and he? Zack honestly didn't know, but he did have to admit it was a bit of a coincidence.

"Damn it," Zack sighed with a shake of his head, "I didn't think…I mean that day I just…" trailing off slightly he took a seat before running his hands over his face. "This is my fault." If only he hadn't let his anger get to him so much that day then he never would've stormed out there into the garden like that. And he especially should've kept his cool with her there. He didn't think she would've seen much but…then again who knew. Maybe from the way he grabbed Cloud's hand? His tone, the look in his eyes? Or maybe it was Cloud's look or tone…something that hinted to something more. And maybe Cloud was right, maybe Aerith really didn't leave and had been watching them or something after the fact. Then of course she saw more than just "friendship" between the two.

"No," Cloud said softly while making his way over towards Zack. He knew he was feeling guilty and blaming himself for things, and he really shouldn't have been. Sitting down beside Zack he gently placed a hand on the side of his face causing Zack to look at him. "If it's anyone's fault it's mine," he explained.

"Cloud," Zack started before Cloud was quickly shaking his head.

"Yeah you were upset that day…but it was because of me," Cloud continued before dropping his gaze briefly, "you had every right to be. If I hadn't been lying to you then that would've never happened so…it's my fault."

Leaning against Zack, Cloud fisted his hand in the front of the Samurai's attire. "I'm sorry," he said softly as he felt strong arms wrap arm around him.

"Apology not accepted," Zack replied. Cloud looked at him with wide eyes and Zack continued on. "It's not your fault…and it's not mine. It's the Shogun's. The root of our problems is him."

"Fair enough," Cloud said with a nod. After all that was the truth. Their relationship already had its difficulties, but they managed it well enough before hand. Things didn't start to get crazy until the Shogun entered the picture, and with that added stress things had only gotten worse.

"So what are we going to do?" Cloud asked while resting his head under Zack's chin as he gently let his fingers trail across his chest.

"Maybe we can try to convince your dad that he's wrong," Zack spoke up while letting his hand run up and down Cloud's back. "If he did hear it from Aerith somehow…we can tell him that she was mistaken."

"What if she saw us kiss?" Cloud asked, "If she told my dad that…there's no way we can try to lie our way out of that."

"Yeah," Zack agreed with a sigh before Cloud shifted in his arms to wrap his arms around Zack's neck.

"Zack," Cloud started softly with a slight waver in his voice. "I can't…_not_ see you. We've never been apart."

"And we're not going to be," Zack replied without missing a beat. "We'll figure this out. Even if for a while we have to sneak around…we'll do what we have to."

"Promise?" Cloud asked while looking into Zack's eyes. The Samurai could already see the shimmer of unshed tears in those blue eyes and he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against the others lips, trying to will away the sadness and frustration from those innocent eyes.

"Promise," he whispered against Cloud's lips before he felt small hands slide into his hair. He pressed his lips harder against Cloud's this time before letting his tongue slide in and meet the others halfway. He drank in the small, soft moans that Cloud let slip into his mouth before tightening his arms around the smaller frame. Cloud was moving once more, keeping his arms wrapped around Zack's neck but moving one of his legs across the other so that he was now right in front of him and sitting on his lap.

Zack was appreciative of this new position as it allowed Cloud to be pressed up against him closely and in all the right places. His hands had already trailed down to rest on slim hips as he felt hands run down his chest.

"Where's Angeal?" Cloud asked with a blush on his cheeks once they broke their lengthy kiss.

"He'll be gone for a while," Zack explained while pressing kisses against Cloud's collar bone. "He's got meetings lined up all day today, he told me himself."

"Does he know you're here?" Cloud asked, tilting his head a bit when he felt Zack's lips move to his neck.

"Yes," Zack replied with a nod, "I told him I needed to talk to you somewhere privately and he was the one who recommended coming here."

Cloud couldn't help but to smile at those words. Angeal really cared about Zack and it was clearly evident in the things he did at times.

"But we shouldn't" Cloud found himself beginning to say. As much as he wanted Zack at this moment he wasn't sure if it was entirely right to do such a thing at someone else's home.

Zack could understand Cloud's hesitance, it probably was a bit strange. Zack felt comfortable at Angeal's, it was almost like a second home. But he still sort of felt the same, but even having said that…the thought of not being with Cloud…especially when he wasn't sure how long it would be until a moment like this came again given the circumstances, he just couldn't hold back.

"Maybe," Zack continued while sliding his hands up Cloud's sides, "but I want you more than ever right now."

And that was all it took to cause a deep blush to form on Cloud's cheeks before they were at it again. Removing clothes and exchanging kisses and touches. They made love right there on the living room floor, casting aside their worries for the time being and giving themselves completely to each other. It wasn't rushed, but drawn out and savored. They each were thinking of when this would happen again but they didn't voice it aloud and tried to push it to the very back of their minds. They were only able to lay in each others arms afterwards shortly before Cloud was getting up and putting back on his clothes.

"I better go," Cloud started while picking up his obi and beginning to fasten it around his waist.

Sitting up Zack frowned slightly as he watched his boyfriend slip back on his clothes. "You can't stay any longer?"

"No," Cloud continued while looking over to Zack who was now starting to redress as well, "lessons are over by now I'm sure. And I'm supposed to go straight home after those."

"Oh," Zack replied with a nod. They finished dressing in silence and Cloud made his way across the room to pick up his discarded notebook. Once it was in hand he hesitated before looking over towards Zack who had just picked back up his sword and secured it back in its sheath. Their eyes met shortly after and Cloud looked away a little uneasily. It shouldn't be like this…but things suddenly felt so strange.

"I'd walk back with you but…" Zack started while taking a few steps closer to Cloud.

"I know," Cloud said quietly before shifting his gaze back towards Zack.

"Right," Zack replied.

"Okay," Cloud continued before making his way to the door and stopping halfway. No, he couldn't leave like this. It didn't feel right. This wasn't just some casual hookup with someone…this was his boyfriend! He shouldn't have to worry about when would be the next time they could sneak off together just to spend time with each other. Or worry about when would be the next time that he would be able to be held in his arms. It was just…_not_ right. He suddenly felt himself become really overwhelmed, angry and sad all at one time. While he was here with Zack for the short time he was okay, but now that he was getting ready to leave him without knowing for sure when he would see him again…it just hurt too much. Tears had already begun to fall from his eyes and he turned back around towards Zack who immediately held out his arms to him and wrapped him in a fierce embrace.

"It's okay," Zack reassured him gently while running his hands through his hair. He was almost wondering when it would all finally hit Cloud. He had thought that earlier he was trying to be strong and not crumble in front of him, but it seemed as if the reality of their situation hadn't really hit him too strongly until they were getting ready to part.

"When am I going to see you again?" Cloud asked shakily between sobs while clutching onto the other.

"Soon," Zack spoke softly before placing a kiss on top of Cloud's head, "I promise."

They held onto each other for as long as they could before Cloud reluctantly began to pull away. He knew he was already pushing it time wise and he was going to have to race back home to make it within the appropriate time. But before he pulled away completely Zack cupped his face and kissed him with all he had.

"I love you," Zack said once they broke the kiss.

"I love you too," Cloud replied while briefly letting his fingers run along the side of Zack's face before Zack was reaching out and wiping away the last stray tears on the blonds' face. Turning away Cloud made his way towards the door before looking back once more when he had slid the door open. "Bye," he said softly before stepping out of Angeal's quarters and closing the door behind him. The last thing that Zack could hear was Cloud's rapid footsteps going down the hallway as he ran back to his house.

* * *

"Cloud," Natsumi's voice drifted through the door as she tapped on it lightly, "dinner's ready."

"I'm not hungry," Cloud replied while leaning over the canvas and lightly sketching on it, keeping his eyes focused and narrowed at the task at hand.

"Sweetie you really should eat something. Please?" Natsumi asked with concern.

"Maybe later," Cloud answered while glancing over to the door.

"Alright," Natsumi began, "I'll save some for you." And with that she walked away from the bedroom and back down the hall. Cloud felt bad, he didn't mean to make his mother worry and he knew she was. This had been the routine for the past week after all. Natsumi would make meals as usual, and Cloud would decline each and every one. His appetite just wasn't like it was supposed to be these days. He would only eat just enough for energy, soup here and there and a little rice, but he hadn't actually sat down for meals with his family. The only time he thought about doing so was when his father was working late, and that was only because he didn't want his mom to eat alone. But even then he just really couldn't bring himself to. He had pretty much barricaded himself up in his room the past week and worked on his art to keep him busy. It was the only thing he could do really to keep his mind off of things and to try to remain. Though it was still hard to accomplish.

It had been a week since he had seen or spoken to Zack, and that was far too long for him. But honestly, there wasn't much he could do. There was a reason why Zack and he often spent nights together. Both of them were busy during the day, and the evening was the only time that they really had for each other. And even that wasn't always a sure thing if Zack had other duties to attend to. But now that Saito had said they couldn't see each other anymore it was impossible to try to work around that. Maybe if Cloud hadn't been practically grounded indefinitely it would be easy to sneak away and meet Zack somewhere, but his father wasn't budging on his word and Cloud had been going straight home from lessons.

He wrote a letter to Zack a few days back and had lingered around outside his class in the halls hoping to catch Reno or Kunsel passing through. Luckily he was able to nab Kunsel and gave him the letter and asked him if he could give it to Zack. Kunsel seemed sort of confused as to why he was becoming the "go between" with Zack and he but Cloud just lied and said that he had been really busy and he didn't have much time to visit with him. The other seemed to buy it however and told Cloud he would give the letter to Zack.

And the very next day Kunsel had spotted Cloud after his lessons and had given him another letter from Zack. It was better than not having contact at all, and Cloud was glad for it. But he also knew they couldn't do this forever, Kunsel wasn't always going to be so accessible and it may start to cause suspicion over time. And if Kunsel were to ever drop one of their letters by accident…no, that wouldn't be good.

Cloud was missing Zack terribly, and even if it had only been a week he wasn't sure how much longer he could do this. Zack had told him they would see each other soon but he knew that was just words of comfort.

Letting out a sigh Cloud leaned back and looked at his work so far on the once blank canvas. He had finally decided what it was he wanted to do with it. It probably seemed simple but to him it meant the most, and now it only seemed to hold an even greater meaning. He had decided to sketch the lake. He and Zack's special place. It only made sense to him for his first painting to be of something that he held most special in his heart, and that was definitely it. When he thought of the lake he thought of Zack, it was the place that kept them together always. He had drew that bad picture for Zack before when they were kids, but this time he was going to get it right, he was going to make it the best he could. He decided to sketch it out first before doing any actual painting, that way he wouldn't have to worry if he messed up or something, he didn't want to ruin his first canvas.

The sound of his door sliding open caused him to look upwards and he was met with his father's gaze before they shifted down towards the canvas. He knew it was his father before even looking up however, he never knocked before entering.

"Your mother says you won't eat," Saito started while looking back towards Cloud.

"I'm just not hungry," Cloud said while going back to work on his picture.

"Well, you don't have you to eat dinner then," Saito replied, still unmoving from his spot.

Looking up once more Cloud gave his dad a bit of a confused look. Was his dad trying to be nice?

"The Shogun's requested your presence tonight," Saito continued while pointing to the canvas, "I assume it has something to do with those pictures of yours. I think in regards to the festival coming up."

_My presence…_

Shaking his head slowly Cloud spoke up, "I can't go. Besides this isn't for the festival."

"What?" Saito questioned in a stern voice. But Cloud refused to meet his gaze and just kept his eyes looking at the canvas.

"Cloud it wasn't a question, you're going," Saito confirmed before turning to step out of the room.

"No! Please…I don't want to," Cloud quickly called out to his father before he had stepped completely out of the room. Stopping Saito turned around and looked down to his son who looked completely horrified at the thought of going and he let out a small sigh of his own.

"Cloud," he began softly, "You've been moping around here for the past week. And I understand you're angry at me, but you're just a kid. You'll see later what I did was for your own good. And I'm not going to let your disgrace yourself or our family by turning down such an invitation because you're still upset, you've done it once before and I won't allow it again."

No…no, his father was completely wrong. About everything!

"Dad please," Cloud continued before Saito was turning around once more.

"You better get ready," his father said before closing the door behind him and leaving Cloud.

* * *

The door closing heavily behind him caused Cloud to jump and a new sense of fear swept over him. He didn't move from his current position, too nervous and scared to do so. He had just been escorted here to the Shogun's chambers by none other than his assistant Elena who told his parents not to worry if Cloud came back home a little late. But his parents didn't seem to have any problem with it at all, especially his father. No matter how much Cloud had begged not to come here, all of his cries seemed to fall upon deaf ears because Saito was having none of it. He had pretty much just tossed his son into the line of fire, completely naïve and unaware of the situation he was putting him in.

"Cloud?" A man's voice called from somewhere further into the lofty quarters, "please do come in."

Sucking in a breath Cloud looked behind him to the heavy doors that had already closed behind him when Elena left. He knew that on the other side of the doors were the two guards who were always here in front of the Shogun's quarters, although he knew he would receive no help from them. Taking a few hesitant steps down the entryway he stopped once he reached the end and was standing in the open space of the living room. He had been in here briefly once before when he was invited to dinner by the Shogun, but that seemed so long ago by now. Looking towards the opposite side of the room he saw the Shogun seated and sipping on what he assumed was a cup of hot tea.

"You're Excellency," Cloud said softly with a bow.

"It's very nice to see you Cloud," Hojo began while setting down his cup on the small table before him, "I wanted to see you sooner but I've had many things to attend to first." Gesturing to the seat across from him the man continued, "Won't you join me?"

"I'm fine…here," Cloud said awkwardly while keeping his eyes averted from the other.

"You seem troubled," Hojo said while rising from his seat and making his way across the room. The subtle movement caught Cloud's attention and he turned his gaze towards the other before taking a step back.

"You must be nervous," Hojo continued when he was in front of the blond, smirking down at him with a certain glint in his eyes. "Surely you know why I called you here."

When Cloud felt fingertips ghost across his cheek he quickly turned his head and took another step back.

"And what's this?" Hojo asked while giving the other a strange look. "Are you just shy or have you forgotten your promise so soon?"

"Forgive me you're Excellency," Cloud started with another bow, "but I cannot honor my word. I feel as if I made that decision without knowing the full truth behind it."

"Truth?" The Shogun asked while narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Yes," Cloud said while carefully turning his eyes back onto the man, "I only said that because I feared my father would lose his position on the council. But if…it could never be in jeopardy from you then…what I said isn't valid at all."

Leaning back Hojo raked his eyes over the smaller one before crossing his arms across his chest and letting a smile tug at the corners of his lips.

"And what makes you think I'm not able to jeopardize his position?" Hojo continued to ask, almost seeming amused by it all.

"I know you can't," Cloud replied, becoming a little bolder in his response. "Shogun or not you can't decide that."

"Is that so?" Hojo began while adjusting his glasses, "care to test me?"

Cloud didn't say anything, he simply held the others gaze. He had to be bluffing; there wasn't anything he could to do to his father's position. Zack had told him even the Shogun didn't have the power to remove someone from the council with no reason at all, and Cloud trusted Zack. He was far more knowledgeable about the council and how it worked than Cloud was.

"Why the sudden change of heart?" Hojo continued while taking a step forward. "Perhaps it has nothing to do with your father anymore but your love for that Samurai. Maybe the guilt of the situation started to eat away at you. Is that it?"

Blue eyes widened and Hojo let out a bit of a laugh.

"I guess it is," he said with a tilt of his head.

"What are you talking about?" Cloud asked as he felt his heart begin to beat faster.

"Zackary Fair is it not?" Hojo asked while looking up in thought, "Hewley's pupil, one of the best young Samurai yet. He's definitely made a name for himself to be so young."

Cloud was still a bit unsure as to why the Shogun seemed to know so much about Zack, and the fact that he seemed to have known something about them was more than a little unsettling. He was almost afraid to question more about it but the man continued to speak, not giving him a chance to say anything even if he wanted.

"I can understand why you would fall for him I suppose," Hojo said with a brief nod, "a shame your father doesn't approve though."

"My father…" Cloud started before trailing off. How did he know that? And where did he find it out from? Did Saito mention something to the Shogun? If it was Aerith he knew that she wouldn't just run off and tell the Shogun for no reason. Not unless… "You told him?"

"Of course I did," Hojo replied before reaching out a hand to run through soft golden hair. "I knew a man like Saito would oppose to something such as that. I made it easier for you Cloud. This way you won't have to feel any guilt with being here with me tonight, since the Samurai is out of the picture."

There was a moment when all Cloud felt was shock and he couldn't really do much or say anything. All he could do was stare with wide eyes and his mouth slightly open. The Shogun…he was the one who had told his father about he and Zack, he was the one who had made it impossible for them to be together, he was the one behind it all! How he found out Cloud could care less at the moment. Once he finally got over the initial shock and surprise he immediately tried to pull away from the fingers that were running through his hair. But Hojo only wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer to him.

"Let go!" Cloud cried while pushing against the man. Something inside him seemed to break and he didn't even care if it was the Shogun or not. This man had him on strings like a puppet and he felt like his hands were constantly tied because he was only a kid and this man had more power than he knew. But now, at this moment, knowing that he was the one who had took Zack away…the _one_ person who could keep him sane through all of this…it was too much.

The Shogun didn't seem to happy at this response and a frown settled on his features before he backed Cloud up until he was against the wall, harshly tilting his chin upwards and leaning in close to him.

"You're really trying my patience," Hojo said lowly as Cloud squirmed beneath him. "I've tried to give you several chances to accept this and come to me, but you're not cooperating at all."

A rough kiss was pressed against Cloud's lips and he let out a whimper before continuing to push against the taller man, but he wouldn't budge even a bit.

"Do you understand what you've pushed me to do?" Hojo asked once he broke the kiss, only to continue to press kisses against the delicate skin of Cloud's neck. "I don't think you realize just how nice I've been to you. This was never an option for you Cloud; I could've taken you at any time. I _always_ get what I want."

Feeling himself beginning to panic Cloud tried with all of his strength to push the man away, his words only ripping more into him and making him realize his worst fear was probably very close to coming true. Hojo only leaned against him more, pressing more of his body weight against Cloud's smaller frame before gripping his wrist tightly in his hand to keep him from pushing against him.

"I tried to be patient and wait for you. I didn't want to hurt you. But I'm tired of having you make a fool of me," Hojo continued in between kisses and heavy breathing.

"Don't, please!" Cloud cried while trying to work his trapped hand away from Hojo's grasp as he felt the man's hand slide in between their bodies and begin to unfasten the obi around his waist.

"Nobody's coming for you this time Cloud," Hojo said huskily before nipping at the boy's ear. "Try to call for Angeal or your Samurai. They won't come. Nor will your father, he was more than happy to send you here after all."

Cloud tried to speak, but his words got caught in his throat as tears already began to spill down his face. The Shogun was right, there was nobody to come help him now and there wasn't _anything_ he could do to get out of this.

* * *

**A/N: And here is chap 11! Aah I know a lot happened in this and a lot more of it will be cleared up in the next chapter. I know many people are like "Hojo omg eww no!!" Lol so I tried to keep this end tame for you guys, but I need to warn you this was just to get you all cautioned for what is to come. And I couldn't help but to laugh while writing the part about Zack and Cloud at Angeal's...he so should've walked in! XD So Saito forbid Cloud from seeing Zack anymore because of what the Shogun told him! Hmm, what did he tell Saito exactly anyways? And now that Hojo thinks he has Zack out of the picture will he be able to keep Cloud to himself? And is Aerith innocent in all this or is Cloud right about her? I still have another character to introduce later in the story so yeah, wonder who it could be! Thanks so much for you guys reviews and messages, they mean so much! Until next update!**


	12. Shell

Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters, nor do I make any money from the writing of this story.

* * *

"No!" Cloud cried while sitting up straight in bed, drenched in sweat and his breathing heavy. The sound of the lantern hitting floor alarmed him and it was then that he realized that he had blindly knocked it over from his night table when he flung out his arm before sitting up. But after that commotion his room was filled with silence once more, aside from his heavy breathing and his racing heart. Again, another night of restless sleep. _Another _night of his mind tormenting him, it didn't seem like it would ever end and each night it seemed to only dig deeper and deeper.

Letting out a sigh he covered his head with his hands while pulling his knees close to him, trying to relax as best as possible to even out his breathing once more. He felt the sting of tears come to his eyes but he scolded himself mentally telling himself not to let them fall.

"Cloud?" A soft voice spoke through his door before a light tapping sounded and then his door was being slid open. Natsumi appeared, letting blue eyes filled with worry and concern fall onto her son who had pretty much curled into a ball.

Looking up at his mom with tired eyes he turned and reached towards the lantern he had knocked over. He felt guilty for waking his mom again...he had been waking her up frequently with his recent nightmares.

"Sorry, I knocked over my lantern," he explained groggily.

"Don't worry about that," Natsumi replied softly while walking across the room towards the bed. She took a seat on the edge before reaching out and placing her hand on the side of Cloud's cheek. She was going to ask him if he had another nightmare, but honestly there was really no point in doing so. By this point she already knew the answer would be yes.

"I'm sorry I woke you up," Cloud said quietly while dropping his gaze.

"It's fine," Natsumi said with a small smile, "I was awake anyways."

Cloud didn't believe that but he didn't say anything about it but instead just gave a small nod. And those tears that he told himself he wouldn't let fall escaped from his eyes anyhow and he quickly pressed his palms to his eyes.

Pulling herself fully onto the bed Natsumi wrapped her arms around Cloud. "It's okay sweetie," she said in that motherly, soothing tone, "I'm here. Try to get some sleep."

Cloud gave a brief nod before closing his eyes when he felt his mother gently running her hand through his hair in a soothing motion. Something that she used to do frequently when he was a little boy and would wake up in the middle of the night because he heard a scary sound. She would hold him in her arms and rock him back to sleep, it always worked.

However now Natsumi found herself doing almost the exact same thing. Only this time it wasn't "monsters or scary sounds", but rather Cloud's thoughts. He had consistently been having nightmares every night it seemed for the past week or longer, and every night he would wake up and alert Natsumi somehow. Whether it was from knocking something over in his room, or screaming, to waking up in tears, Natsumi would hear him. And within seconds she was at his side, trying to calm him and comfort him. She tried to get him to tell her what the nightmares were about, but he would only say that he forgot them as soon as he awoke and so he wasn't able to tell her what they were about. But Natsumi had a feeling that that was a lie. For a nightmare to be so unsettling that it brought him to tears...his mother wasn't buying that he didn't remember them. Call it a mother's intuition but she knew her son better than that, and she knew when there was something else bothering Cloud. But it did concern her that it seemed to be more than he was letting on.

"It's okay," she said softly again while adjusting the blankets on him once more. She stayed that way with him for a while before she heard his breathing even out and his body loose some of the tension that was held in it before. Pulling away slowly she carefully placed him against the pillow before sliding off of the bed. She leaned down to pick up the lantern and placed it back on the nightstand before turning to place a kiss against Cloud's cheek. She hoped that he would be able to sleep the rest of the night, she knew he needed it. Since he hadn't been sleeping too well lately it was easy to read on his face in the mornings. His eyes looked tired and puffy and he just seemed altogether sluggish and down. This couldn't go on forever.

* * *

"Cloud," Natsumi began with a slight frown, "you've barely touched your food."

"Sorry," Cloud replied quietly, "i'm just not that hungry."

"Your mother prepared breakfast for you," Saito spoke up while narrowing his eyes slightly at the blond, "you need to eat it."

"Saito," Natsumi snapped while giving her husband a glare. Cloud had just picked up his chopsticks weakly before Natsumi reached across the table and pulled away his dish. "Don't worry sweetie, maybe you'll just have a big lunch huh?"

Cloud gave a small nod before dropping his gaze back on the table.

"You better go then, you'll be late for lessons," Saito explained while picking up his cup of tea.

The blond didn't say a word before rising from his seat and grabbing his notebook, and then he was headed towards the door.

"Have a good day!" Natsumi called out to him before he exited. He said thanks softly before he completely left the house, but other than that no other words were spoken.

"Hmph," Saito grunted while placing back down his cup.

Natsumi's glare seemed to intensify and she shook her head briefly. "What are you doing?" She hissed.

Saito raised an eyebrow as he turned his gaze over towards his fuming wife. "What do you mean?"

"You're not helping the situation!" Natsumi began while roughly clearing the table, "something is bothering Cloud and you're not being understanding at all!"

"Nothing is wrong with Cloud," Saito dismissed with a wave of his hand, "he's simply in a bad mood because of what I did with he and Zack. He's still moping about that."

Natsumi was silent as she entered the kitchen and discarded the dishes in the sink. She knew that Cloud was hurt and upset about Saito not allowing him to see Zack anymore, but that was a different reaction. With that she had seen Cloud angry and hurt. But lately, Cloud was acting compltely different from that. He was quiet and withdrawn, and also seemed a bit paranoid. She couldn't exactly place it but she knew that something else was the matter.

"I don't think it's just that," she finally replied while entering the common area again and taking a seat at the table where Saito was still drinking his tea. "There's something else going on Saito, I think you need to find out what it is."

"Natsumi," Saito began with a sigh, obviously thinking that his wife was being her worried self as usual.

"Don't dismiss me," Natsumi continued sternly, "I know my son and I know when something is wrong. You're not the one whose been up every night trying to comfort him. This isn't normal behavior for Cloud."

"Give it time," Saito replied quickly, "you'll see this will pass. He's angry right now but it won't last forever."

"I don't think this is-"

"You coddle him too much, Natsumi." Saito continued while rising from his seat, "Let him work through this on his own, you can't fret over him everytime he get's in a mood."

Sighing inwardly Natsumi bit her tongue. She didn't want to argue with Saito, she knew that he was a stubborn man at times and knew that arguing with him would not get anything resolved. She would give him that however, she did know that was she protective of Cloud and did worry easily. He was her only child so she guessed it was only normal, however she didn't think she was being overly concerned in this.

"I need to go, I'll be late for my meeting otherwise," Saito explained before stopping to place a kiss on Natsumi's cheek. " I probably won't be home for dinner tonight, I'll be working late."

"Okay," Natsumi replied before giving him a smile, "have a good day at work." She watched him leave the house before resting her elbows on the table and placing her chin in the palm of her hand, all the while thoughts still racing circles in her head.

* * *

"Would you like more?"

"Yes please," Zack spoke with a smile as he watched his younger friend approach their table with a teapot in hand.

"Sake for me!" Reno exclaimed while holding out his small cup.

Yuffie scrunched her face while giving the crimson haired man a look. "It's too early for Sake Reno!"

"It's never too early for Sake!" Reno shot back.

Yuffie shook her head while filling Zack's cup with tea. "Fine, I'll bring you some."

"What do you say Zack? Want to have a drink with me?" Reno asked with a smirk.

"It's too early," Zack repeated Yuffie's response with a shake of his head.

"Oh come on! I don't believe that coming from you!" Reno shot back while leaning back from the table.

"Hey!" Zack started with a laugh, "and what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you've never let me drink alone, and I bet you sure aren't about to start now," Reno explained as his smirk widened.

"I guess you got me there," Zack said with a shrug causing his friend to laugh. Within a minute Yuffie had reappeard and set the small Sake bottle on the table.

"This is on the house so long as you let me take a drink with you!" Yuffie exclaimed while already pouring the hot drink into a cup.

"Hey now, I'm not sure about that," Zack spoke up while moving to grab the bottle from Yuffie.

"Ah come on Zack, one drink ain't going to kill her. Besides you and I are here to watch her," Reno explained.

"Yeah Zack!" Yuffie agreed with a giggle. "And it's dead in here today so it's not like I have much work to do."

"Fine," Zack replied as Yuffie took up a seat beside him. "Just the one though. I'm starting to think you're picking up on our bad habits."

"Drinking with your friends is never a bad thing," Reno commented before pouring himself a cup.

Zack shook his head before pouring a cup for himself. He and Reno downed theirs relatively quickly while Yuffie was still working on her cup, making a face every so often from the sheer strength of the drink.

"What's this? You started without me?"

"Kunsel!" Yuffie beamed as he neared their table.

"Hey we didn't see you around earlier," Reno began as Kunsel took a seat at the table.

"Yeah I was with Angeal going over some briefings," Kunsel explained before reaching for the Sake bottle.

"Hey," Zack began, "did you see Cloud?"

"Hmm?" Kunsel asked while taking a drink before he realized what it was that Zack was really asking him. "Oh yeah, sorry. He didn't have anything to give me for you though."

"Oh," Zack replied, not at all sounding happy with that information. What was going on? He had written Cloud so many letters over the past week and all of them had gone unanswered. At first Cloud would write him back right after he received the letter, and now he just hadn't bothered to respond at all. Zack couldn't lie and say he wasn't becoming frustrated with this because he was. He hadn't seen Cloud in weeks, not since they had met at Angeal's that time. But he at least wanted to be able to communicate with him somehow, and that's why the letters were so important to him.

What if something had happened? Like if Saito had seen a letter that Cloud had written him...that would instantly put an end to those he supposed. And it wasn't like he could see Cloud so easily these days. His father had him on a tight schedule of lessons only and then straight back home, and since he wasn't allowed over there anymore...well, it left things really complicated.

"I've got to go," Zack suddenly spoke up while rising from his seat. His friends all whined, asking him why and to stay longer and have another drink with them. But Zack just told them he remembered he had something he needed to do before exiting out of the tea house. Letting out a sigh he walked a few steps away from the restaurant before running a hand through his hair. This is how it always ended up. He couldn't enjoy himself for very long before his mind drifted back to Cloud. Even when he was with his friends, he would feel guilty about not having Cloud there and wondering what Cloud was doing and how he was holding up. And then he would become angry and his whole mood would change. It wasn't an easy thing to do to be separated like this, and Zack was seriously considering confronting Saito as the days went on. Sure he knew it wasn't the best move, but his heart was saying otherwise when it came to that.

"Zack," a woman's voice spoke up, catching the Samurai's attention. He turned in the direction of the voice and his eyes widened slightly.

"Hi Auntie," he said a bit awkwardly before the woman smiled at him. He hadn't seen Natsumi since that day when Saito told him that he didn't want he and Cloud to see each other anymore.

"How are you sweetie?" Natsumi asked while grabbing the other in a tight hug.

"I'm good," Zack replied while returning the embrace, "how are you?"

"I'm fine," Natsumi said while pulling away with a smile. "Just in town getting some more fabric so I can finish those kimono for the Cherry Blossom Festival."

"Oh that's right, it's coming up soon," Zack explained while looking down to the bag that Natsumi was carrying.

"Yes," she spoke with a nod, the wide smile never leaving her face but seeming to become a bit sad before she continued on. "I miss seeing you around."

That comment took Zack by surprise, but only for a moment. He really shouldn't have expected anything else. Natsumi was like a second mother to him, and while Saito may not exactly have liked him anymore he knew that Natsumi still cared. Even if she didn't know the reason why Saito had wanted Cloud to stay away from him.

"Yeah...well, I miss _being _around. But," he started while scratching the back of his head. "Um...how's Cloud?"

Natsumi was silent and her eyes drifted away from Zack as her smile fell slightly completely. That alone caused Zack to become curious and a little worried actually.

"Auntie?"

"Honestly...I don't know," Natsumi began, "I mean he's been upset because of what happened with you and Saito previously. But lately...I don't know. I think something is wrong but he won't talk to me about it and...Saito thinks I'm just worrying about nothing."

"What makes you think somethings wrong?" Zack continued to push, desperate to get some information from his Aunt about Cloud.

"Just...how he's acting. He barely even sleeps anymore, something is unsettling him," Natsumi explained before shifting her gaze back to Zack. "You're the only one he really tells things to. I don't need to know what it is exactly but...maybe if he just talks to someone, he'll feel better. I know he's always confided in you...would you mind visiting him and try talking to him?"

"Auntie I-"

"Saito is going to be gone all day today. He won't be back until late in the evening," Natsumi explained with a shake of her head, "he'll never know that you were there. Please, I think it would be really good for Cloud. I mean he's cooped up back at home and he doesn't get to see his friends....and I know he misses you. Maybe just seeing you for a while will make him feel a little better."

Not hesitating for a moment Zack nodded. If he was openly getting a chance to see Cloud he definitely wasn't about to pass it up. He didn't want his Aunt getting on Saito's bad side if he found out about it, so Zack told himself that he wouldn't stay for very long just to be on the safe side. But he was definitely going to go and see Cloud and see how he was. If Natsumi was worrying over Cloud then Zack figured that Cloud must've been pretty down or something to make her worry.

Natsumi let a wide smile reappear on her face before she was insisting that they may as well head back now since she was done shopping. It didn't take them long to make it back to the castle and within moments they were entering into the quarters.

"I should get lunch started," Natsumi began while setting down her bags. "Cloud's in his room. I'm certain he's awake but you may just want to go in, he hasn't really been answering when you knock."

"Okay," Zack replied before disappearing down the hallway. He paused briefly once he was in front of Cloud's door, listening for any sound of movement on the other side. He didn't hear anything so he decided to take Natsumi's advice and just enter into the room. And if Cloud was sleeping he didn't want to wake him since Natsumi had told him that Cloud hadn't been sleeping too well lately.

He slid the door open carefully before peeking into the room. He saw Cloud laying on the bed with his back facing the door. The blankets were pulled up to his shoulders so that only his wild blonde spikes were visible. He seemed so small under the thin covers, maybe because he was scrunched up a little.

Zack closed the door softly behind him before walking over towards the bed. He didn't sit down on it because he didn't want to wake Cloud, but when he got closer he noticed that Cloud's eyes were open and he seemed to just be staring straight ahead at nothing in particular.

"Cloud?" Zack asked softly.

Cloud made a small sound from his throat and shifted a little, but he didn't turn his head or speak at all. Zack wondered if he was even aware that he was there.

"Cloud," Zack tried again while reaching forward and shaking his shoulder a bit. Turning around slightly Cloud's eyes widened as he seemed to snap out of his haze.

"Zack," he said softly.

"Hey," Zack began with a smile while taking a seat on the bed.

"What are you doing here?" Cloud asked while sitting up a little, "you have to leave my dad's going to be home soon."

"No," Zack reassured him, "your mom told me to come here. She said your dad is going to be gone until late this evening. Don't worry about that."

"My mom told you to come here?" Cloud asked softly.

"Yeah," Zack said with a nod, "she was worried about you. I can see why," he finished while studying Cloud's face. His skin looked more pale than usual, he had dark circles under his eyes and they were a bit puffy. The whites of his eyes were a little red, and he did in fact look a little smaller to Zack. Which made the Samurai take notice because he already thought Cloud was small to begin with.

"What's wrong?" Zack asked while reaching out to touch the side of Cloud's face. The blond instantly pulled away though and shook his head.

"I just haven't been sleeping too well, I have a lot on my mind," Cloud explained while slipping out of the bed.

"Like what?" Zack asked while following Cloud with his eyes.

There was a thick silence that fell over the room after that before Cloud made his way towards his closet and pulled out another blanket.

"You should go," Cloud spoke quietly before making his way back over to the bed, dumping the other blanket on top of it.

"Are you cold?" Zack asked while glancing down to the second blanket, ignoring Cloud's suggestion to leave.

"I'm fine," Cloud replied while climbing back into the bed.

"Cloud you're not fine," Zack confirmed while looking the other over, "you're going to make yourself sick if you keep this up."

"I just need some sleep," Cloud replied while placing his head back on his pillow and pulling the blankets up higher on him.

Well Zack knew that at least that much was true. Cloud looked exhausted, he had never seen him look so weary before and he had to wonder just how long his boyfriend had really gone without sleep.

"Okay," Zack said while moving to run his fingers through blonde spikes.

"Don't!" Cloud suddenly snapped while pulling away from Zack once more.

Pausing briefly Zack stared down at Cloud who just moved over closer to the other side of the bed. What had just happened? Zack wasn't sure, maybe Cloud was just really irritable because he was so tired. But even then...something had just seemed sort of off. For not seeing each other for so long Zack was sure that Cloud would at least seem happy to see him, but aside from looking a bit surprised Cloud didn't really seem to care much at all. He didn't make any move to be close to him, no hug or kiss or anything. Even if he was dead tired, Zack thought that Cloud would at least want to cuddle up to him, maybe fall asleep in his arms. But it didn't seem like Cloud even wanted Zack to touch him at all.

"Cloud," Zack started, almost at a loss for words.

"I said you should go already," Cloud said, his back facing Zack as he curled up with the blankets more.

"No," Zack replied stubbornly, "not until you tell me what's wrong."

"I told you!" Cloud bit out before turning to look at Zack over his shoulder, "I'm tired! I just want to sleep, so go!"

"Why are you," Zack started while placing his hand on Cloud's arm that was hidden beneath the covers. But before he could finish the rest of his sentence Cloud had jerked away once more before sitting up compltelely.

"Don't touch me," Cloud said through clenched teeth. His eyes held the gloss of unshed tears but not one rolled down his face. "I don't want you here right now! Just go!"

Zack was stunned, for lack of a better word. He had never seen Cloud this way and he felt completely out of his element here. He wanted to talk to Cloud, to try to do something to calm him but he honestly didn't know what to do. He wasn't dealing with Cloud's temper, _that_ he was used to. That he could wrangle and bring back under control. But this...this was something more than that. This was deeper and more complex. Zack really didn't want to go, but he didn't want to upset Cloud any further and make his mood any worse than it already was. And it really didn't seem as if Cloud was up for talking at the moment now anyways.

"Okay," Zack finally gave in while getting up from the bed. "Fine, I'll go."

Lowering his eyes Cloud stared down at the blankets as he listened to Zack's footsteps become further away before they were stopping.

"Cloud...remember you can tell me anything," Zack started softly while turning his gaze back towards the blond who was simply staring down at the bed. "I don't...I don't know when I'll be able to see you again, so." Pausing briefly he reached out for the door, getting ready to slide it open. "I love you," he finished before pulling open the door and stepping out into the hall and closing it behind him.

Cloud listened until Zack's footsteps got further away and then he heard his mother's voice. The two seemed to be talking for awhile but Cloud couldn't make out what they were saying as they seemed to have quieted their voices. He knew they were talking about him however. He didn't want to make everyone worry about him, but honestly he didn't know what else to do. He didn't know how to act normal anymore, he didn't _feel_ normal anymore. Everything that he was so accustomed to seemed so different now. His whole world was turned upside down, so really, how was he supposed to just try to meld back into things as if everything was the same when it wasn't. He had an internal battle going on in his mind, his thoughts and memories never resting and always tormenting him. A part of him wanted to call Zack back, he needed him, he needed comfort and his love. But another part of him couldn't even bring himself to look at him, and his touch was enough to make Cloud feel a hundred times worse. Guilt, shame, repulsion. All at himself of course, but he couldn't bring himself to speak any words to anyone about the conflict going on in his head. After all, what good would it do? Nothing would change, and nothing would get better. If anything it would only get worse.

Cloud felt the hot tears running down his face and he quickly wiped them away before lying back against his bed and pulling up the covers as he squeezed his eyes shut tight. He was so, _so_ tired. He just wanted to sleep, to shut up his mind for two seconds and just rest. To have one night's peaceful rest, that's all he wanted. Maybe after that he would be able to think clearly and would be able to calm himself. But honestly, who was he kidding?

_

* * *

_

_"Nobody's coming for you this time Cloud," Hojo said huskily before nipping at the boy's ear. "Try to call for Angeal or your Samurai. They won't come. Nor will your father, he was more than happy to send you here after all."_

_"Please," Cloud started while turning his head to the opposite side, "don't do this. Just let me go."_

_"We had a deal Cloud, and I have no intention of letting you back out on that now," Hojo continued while letting his hands run down the front of Cloud's chest. "But whether or not we struck up that deal hardly matters. I told you I always get what I want Cloud, and what I want is you," he punctuated with a kiss to the boy's collar bone, "and I want you now. No more running. So the question is will you submit willingly? Or will I have to take you by force?"_

_A choked sob came from Cloud's throat as he squeezed his eyes shut. Was Hojo actually doing this? There was no room for discussion any longer it seemed and the Shogun's patience had run thin. So was that really what he was left with? Those two options? No, he had to be able to get out of this mess. He couldn't just accept it so easily._

_His eyes fluttered open but he kept his gaze downwards still, blinking out more tears that he couldn't seem to control._

_"If you just submit it'll be easier for both of us," Hojo continued while tilting up Cloud's chin. "I don't want to hurt you Cloud."_

_"Then," Cloud started shakily while gently pushing against the man, "if you don't want to hurt me...you wouldn't say this to me at all. Just let me leave...please."_

_"Cloud," Hojo began while cupping his face, "Shh. It's alright. You're getting yourself so worked up about this. I assure you it'll be okay. If you'll only cooperate with me."_

_What was he saying!? Of course he was getting worked up about this! The Shogun made it seem as if it were a normal occurence! Well, for him it probably was. After all Cloud wasn't the first young boy to be in the Shogun's chambers. Did he do this same thing to all of them? Did they willing go along with it? Did they fear defying him because he was the Shogun? Or were they scared just like he was...did they fight back?_

_Cloud wasn't sure, but all he knew was that he couldn't just go along with this! Hojo was saying if he just submitted and complied with him, that he wouldn't hurt him...that he didn't want to force himself on him. But either way you looked at it he was being forced._

_"Tell me," Hojo said softly while letting his hand run up Cloud's arm gently. "Have you never done this before?"_

_Letting out a shaky breath Cloud turned his face away and cast his gaze downward. Why was he doing this? And to ask him something so personal...well, Cloud guessed it didn't matter to Hojo. _

_"I have to admit that at first when I thought about you I imagined how it would be to be the one who explored this with you for the first time," Hojo explained. "However now I'm not so sure since that Samurai was in the picture. Perhaps this isn't new to you at all then. Maybe that'll calm your nerves."_

_The feel of kisses being placed on his neck caused Cloud to tense and he fought with the thought of whether to try pushing the man away again or do nothing. He felt sick to his stomach but he was scared to upset Hojo anymore than he already had._

_"Am I right?" Hojo asked quietly while pulling away briefly._

_"You have no right to talk to me about him," Cloud replied in as steady of a voice as he could manage while finally meeting the other's gaze once more._

_A smirk appeared on the Shogun's face before he was leaning back in, only inches away from Cloud's lips._

_"Very well then," he replied, "he's in the past anyhow. I won't mention him or the relationship you and he had."_

_Pressing his lips against Cloud's the blond let out a muffled sound. He kept his eyes open and his hands splayed across the man's chest, trying to keep some distance between them instead of feeling Hojo's body pressed against his. He shifted his gaze towards the long hallway that led to the entrance. Suppose he made a run for it. If he could make it down that entryway and out of the doors, surely he would be able to leave wouldn't he? Hojo wouldn't leave out of the quarters and cause a scene. But then again the Shogun's chambers were pretty isolated from anywhere else so it's not as if anybody would hear. Then there was also the guards that stood by his door. Would they catch him? He wasn't a threat to the Shogun so would they honestly try to restrain him? Did they even care or know what was going on behind the closed doors? _

_If he could make it down the hall...he would have a pretty good chance. He could run quickly. The Shogun would be angry with him that's for sure, but Cloud was willing to deal with whatever repercussions at this moment. _

_Hojo's hand was resting on his shoulder, while his other was cupping Cloud's face as he continued to kiss him. Not too much of a hold on him, and the hand on his shoulder was relaxed and not gripping as it had been beforehand when he had pushed him against the wall. He was sort of pinned between the wall and Hojo, but not enough where he couldn't slip out. He guessed Hojo was starting to relax by this point and wasn't so on guard as he had been previously. If he was going to try to run this would be a good time while Hojo had his guard down so to speak._

_Without taking time to second guess himself Cloud pushed the other away with all of his strength, not taking the time to watch him as he stumbled but instead bolting headlong for the entryway. He was only vaguely aware of the man calling his name angrily behind him before he heard footsteps approaching rapidly. He practically slammed into the double doors at the end of the hallway before grasping the handle and pulling hard on it, waiting for the heavy door to creak open..._

_But it didn't._

_"No!" Cloud cried. What was wrong with it!? Why didn't it open!? Was it locked? He didn't lock it from the inside upon entering, it should've been unlocked! How did that happen?_

_Strong arms wrapping around his waist caused a sense of dread to overtake him and he began to panic. He kept his grip on the handle as he felt Hojo pulling at his waist, trying to move him away from the door._

_"Let go of me!" Cloud shouted as new tears of frustration sprang from his eyes. He was so close, so so close to getting out of there! And the stupid doors wouldn't open! Why? He didn't understand._

_"I thought you may try something like that," Hojo growled while reaching forward to pry Cloud's hand off of the door handle._

_"No!" Cloud screamed while trying to fight the other off of him, "what did you do!?"_

_"Isn't it obvious?" Hojo asked with a dark chuckle._

_No! It wasn't obvious to Cloud. All he knew was that he had gotten locked in here somehow, how Hojo did it he wasn't sure and at the moment he couldn't even think straight to try to figure out what must've happened._

_Finally prying his fingers from off of the handle Hojo pulled Cloud back, a bit too roughly before letting go of him as he collapsed onto the floor._

_"So that's your answer is it?" Hojo asked while glaring down at the blond. "You want to do this the hard way."_

_Turning to try to scramble to his feet Cloud let out a cry when he felt a weight on top of him that crushed him to the floor._

_"You're done running," Hojo bit out while raising himself up a bit to flip Cloud over onto his back._

_"Stop!" Cloud shrieked, while flinging his arms outward when he felt the man's hands begin to pull at his clothing. He managed to hit Hojo in the face just a bit to knock his glasses askew, but it wasn't nearly enough to stop him. The Shogun paused momentarily to pull off his glasses before setting them aside quickly before he was pinning Cloud back to the floor._

_"You're Excellency, please!" Cloud cried in a desperate plea. His wrist were now both pinned above his head and the other was straddling his waist, holding him down with the weight of his body. _

_Hojo glared down at him, his breathing slightly heavy from the small scuffle that they had just gotten in. It was then that Cloud noticed a small cut under the man's eye, he must've scratched him when he hit his glasses._

_"I told you what your options were," Hojo began while shifting a bit, "and you refused to listen. You've made your choice, so you only have yourself to blame for this," he finished before harshly pulling Cloud upward by his wrist before climbing off of him. He pulled him up to his feet before dragging him down the hallway and back into the common area, but he continued to drag him further and down another hallway in the spacious quarters. Cloud was trying to dig his feet into the ground to stop himself from being dragged throughout the place but it wasn't doing any good at all, and Hojo's grip on his wrist was so tight that he thought it might break._

_Within a few more agonizing seconds Hojo had slid open a door that revealed a dark bedroom. It took Cloud's eyes a moment to adjust but once they did he realized that this was the room that he had woken up in that night when he had passed out at the dinner._

_He tried to grab the frame of the door as Hojo dragged him inside but he was pulled too hard to even really catch a grip on it at all. He was pushed onto the large bed in the center of the room before Hojo was crossing the room to shut the door._

_At the sound of the door closing shut Cloud practically accepted what was really going to happen and he already started to fall apart inside, although he had already been falling apart on the outside if his tears and shaking were anything to go by._

_Hojo was in front of him in a minute, peering down at him in a way that made Cloud feel both scared and surprisingly childish. It all really started to sink in for him. This man was...the Shogun. He was the most powerful man in Edo. He was much older and for that fact was supposed to be much wiser, even though Cloud could disagree with that. But it didn't change the fact that he was still way more superior to him. Cloud was just a kid, the Chamberlain's son. He had no real status aside from that and was simply just a regular kid. To think that he could really avoid this man at all from the begining was laughable. _

_Cloud cringed when Hojo reached forward, letting his hand travel downwards before stopping at the obi around his waist. He automatically felt himself become defensive again and he moved to pull away, but Hojo was quicker than that and had pushed Cloud back onto the bed before climbing on top of him._

_"Don't make me any more angry Cloud," Hojo explained in a surprisingly calm voice. "I intended to treat you gently but I don't see that happening now."_

_The only thing Cloud could do was cover his face with his hands and cry as Hojo continued to work at his clothing. It didn't take much time at all before the Shogun had rid him of his clothing, letting his hands explore the young, supple body beneath him. It was too much for Cloud, he didn't know how to handle it or what to do. His mind was reeling and he felt like he was going to vomit at any moment. He couldn't bring himself to look, he kept his eyes closed or his hands over his eyes. But Hojo for some reason didn't seem to like him covering his eyes and he removed his hands from his face harshly. _

_"I want to see your expressions," Hojo had said to him sometime during the ordeal with an amused smirk on his face that made Cloud want to slap it away. _

_But after that, sometime through most of it Cloud became numb to it all. He had to try to zone out and go somewhere else in his mind if he was going to get through it. It was as if he was there but he wasn't. He was aware of the kisses, of the touches but he quickly tried to forget them just as quick as they came. Although that was easier said than done. Hojo had meant what he said, he had no intention on being gentle. Even his kisses became more rough, dominating and ovebearing. He was not his lover and that was clear. His touches were harsh and gripping, not soft and fleeting. His hands didn't touch him in a way that was loving, but rather in a way that was lustful. His eyes didn't look at him adoringly, but hungrily. And the sounds that the man would make were in no way arousing to him but instead made him feel even more sick to his stomach._

_He didn't feel the exciting tingle when their bodies were pressed together. It didn't warm him when he felt the feel of skin on skin, but rather sent a cold, unnerving chill down his spine._

_And when Hojo entered him it was not pleasureable at all. There was no preparation or warning, just the violent, rough thrust of his hips against his which caused Cloud to scream out in pain. That however only seemed to excite Hojo and made him move harder and faster, causing Cloud more and more pain as he cried out each time._

_There was nothing at all "loving" about the act. It was never about that. It was simply a lustful desire that Hojo had for the blond that he needed to quelch. And fortunately for him he did so that night, twice in fact. And when it was all over he laid there for a moment to calm himself and then he was redressing and left the room. Cloud didn't know where he went at that time, and honestly he was too weary and in too much pain to care. _

_He shifted in the bed carefully, wincing at the searing pain that shot up his spine. Lifting himself up slightly he moved to reach down for the blanket. If he was going to have to stay here for the rest of the night he didn't want to be so openly exposed, and hopefully Hojo would allow him this much at least. He ignored the crimson stains on the white sheets as he pulled the blanket up higher towards him before falling tiredly back onto the bed. He was exhausted, both mentally and physically...but he was too broken to fall asleep. The only thing he could do was clutch the blankets to him and cry. And hope and wish desperately that now that the Shogun had gotten what he wanted that he would leave him alone. That that would be the end of it all, and hopefully...this nightmare could just finally be over. _

* * *

**Authors Note: And here is chap 12! Aah! I told myself that I needed to post one more chap before the end of the year and tada! At the begining of the chapter I wonder if most of you already put together why Cloud was acting so strange, but if not well then the ending there clears it up for you. And honestly I think Cloud did as much as possible as he could to avoid things, but I mean...he's going against the Shogun. I tried to keep it pretty tame for you guys this chap cause I know it's scary. Hmm, Natsumi knows her son, although Saito doesn't seem to get it. Will he find out? Or better yet will Zack and just what in the hell is he going to do? Surely Cloud won't lie about it right? He already got caught up once! Also my apologies because I said there was going to be a new character this chapter but my count was off, it should be the next chapter! Anyways, thanks for your feedback and reviews everyone! I hope you all have a safe and awesome New year! Until next chap! Ja ne!**


	13. Shattered

Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters, and I do not make any money from writing this story unfortunately.

* * *

_A warm sensation on his back caused Cloud to stir and he slowly cracked open his eyes to see the sunlight spilling into the room. However taking in the surroundings and realizing that he wasn't back at home in his room caused him to panic and he clutched the blankets tighter to him before sitting up briefly._

_ "Good morning," a woman's voice spoke in the silence of the room as the sound of curtains being opened filled his ears._

_ Turning his head slightly he saw a small woman with dark hair that was pulled up into a bun drawing open the curtains. Once she was finished she turned to him and gave him a smile. "I drew a bath for you, and then after that you can have your breakfast."_

_ Glancing around the room once more Cloud felt more confused than ever. He was still in the Shogun's quarters, the man wasn't anywhere to be seen though. Not that he was complaining in the slightest, in fact…once he had left in the evening Cloud didn't recall him ever coming back into the room. But aside from that, who was this woman?_

_ Sitting up a bit more straight he winced at the pain that shot up his back and the woman was beside him immediately._

_ "Please don't push yourself," she said softly while letting her eyes trail across Cloud's arms and noticing the slight bruising. "Forgive me," she continued, "my name's Keiko. I'm the Shogun's assistant in the home."_

_ Keiko? That name sounded familiar to him. Cloud nodded a bit before glancing around the room once more, trying to locate his clothes. _

_ "I set your clothes in the bath," Keiko explained when she noticed his eyes scanning the area. "Do you need some help getting there?"_

_ "I'm fine," Cloud mumbled while holding the blankets more tightly to himself._

_ "Are you sure?" She asked with concern. "You can keep the blanket around you while I help you there."_

_ Shifting once more and feeling the pain course up his back Cloud wondered if he really would be able to manage walking even a short distance by himself. But he felt so ashamed getting someone's assistance for a situation such as this. And the thing that bothered him more was that Keiko seemed accustomed to this routine almost. And perhaps she was…after all Cloud wasn't the first boy to wake up in the Shogun's bed, and maybe Keiko had helped all of them like this the morning after. Just that thought alone sickened him._

_ Cloud couldn't speak and so he just gave a nod and Keiko was helping to secure the blanket around him before she helped him stand. She was surprised to see so much blood in the bed and she had to look away before she thought of the pain that the blond must've gone through the previous evening. With Keiko's help they made it to the washroom fairly quickly since it was only at the end of the hall, then she was leaving Cloud in the room alone telling him to call her if he needed any help. While he was in there she finished up with breakfast. _

_ He really didn't want to stay in the place any longer than he had to, but he felt disgusting and he wanted to wash away everything from the night before. But no matter how hard he scrubbed he still felt dirty. Finally when the water began to cool he got out of the tub and slowly dressed back into his clothes, trying to move slowly and carefully so as not to cause any further pain. Once he left the washroom and made his way down into the front area Keiko had already had breakfast on the table._

_ "Please come eat something," she said while walking over to his side, preparing to help him to his seat. But Cloud carefully pushed her away before shaking his head._

_ "I'm not hungry, I just want to leave," he explained softly, his voice still hoarse from all of the screaming and crying. _

_ "You really should eat something before you go back home," Keiko said sympathetically._

_ "I just want to leave…please?" Cloud asked while pressing his palms to his eyes._

_ "Of course," Keiko said with a nod. She wasn't about to push it, and she didn't blame the boy for wanting to get out of the place as soon as possible. "I'll get you an escort."_

_ "Escort?" Cloud asked while removing his hands from his eyes that had already began to tear up._

_ "Yes, one of the guards will help you back," Keiko said before crossing the room, preparing to get one of the guards on watch at the door. But she stopped midway and turned back to Cloud. "And the Shogun already sent word to your parents about you being gone for the night. And…you're not to say anything to anyone about what happened."_

_

* * *

  
_

A swift blow to his stomach knocked the breath out of him and the next thing Zack knew he was flat on his back, coughing and gasping for air. The hit had been pretty strong, but he wouldn't expect anything less from Angeal.  
"Zack," his mentor started while standing above him and giving him a disappointed look. "What's with you today? You're not focused."  
Letting out a sigh Zack sat up with a slight wince. He couldn't argue with Angeal about that, he knew he wasn't focused with their training right now. He was always sharp and on alert. He would never leave himself open like that otherwise.  
"Sorry Angeal," he said while pulling himself up to his feet.  
"Apologies aren't what I want to hear," the man started while giving Zack a pointed look.  
Zack glanced away at that. He knew he couldn't fool Angeal, he could read him easily. Then again it probably wasn't hard to figure out that Zack was distracted. He tried to quiet his thoughts and focus on the task at hand but it was too difficult. His mind kept drifting back to Cloud, he couldn't help it. The last time he had seen him was when he dropped by his home when Natsumi had told him how Cloud had been acting lately. And after Cloud had snapped at him and yelled at him to leave, he hadn't spoken one word to him. No letters, no more opportunities to visit him at all…it was as if they had been completely cut off from each other. Exactly what Saito wanted. But Zack, he missed Cloud more than anything, and in the back of his mind he wondered if Cloud missed him too. He honestly didn't know, that last time he had seen him he seemed so upset. And while he was directing his anger at Zack the Samurai couldn't be sure he was really the cause of it. After all he couldn't think of a reason for Cloud to be angry at him but…he just didn't know anymore.

Letting out a sigh Angeal put away his sword. "That's enough for today."

"What?" Zack asked as blue eyes widened slightly, "Angeal no, I'll be focused. We can continue."

Raising a hand to stop Zack Angeal shook his head. "I see no point in doing so."

Looking towards the ground Zack clenched his fist at his sides. He hated to disappoint Angeal and he knew he had with his being so distracted.

"Whatever it is that's bothering you Zack I suggest you either fix it…or forget about it. You need to have a clear mind. And I'm not just talking about when it comes to your training," Angeal explained before placing a hand on Zack's shoulder.

_ Fix it or forget about it…_

"Yes," Zack replied while looking up into the others eyes. He could see the faint smirk on his face and Zack relaxed a little at that. Angeal wasn't too upset after all and he was glad for that.

"Good," Angeal spoke while removing his hand from the younger ones shoulder. "In that case you should be getting ready to go to the festival. You don't want to be late for it."

"Oh that's right," Zack said while looking towards the dojo entrance. "I guess I'll go home and get ready and then head there."

"Very well," Angeal said with a nod, "I'll meet you there then."

* * *

"Come on Cloud! We don't want to be late!"

Letting out a sigh Cloud slid open his bedroom door and stepped out into the hall where his mother was waiting at the end.

"Mom," he tried again while giving Natsumi a weary look. "I really don't feel up to going to this."

"Sweetie it's the Cherry Blossom Festival!" Natsumi beamed while walking closer to Cloud, "you go every year."

"I just-"

"It'll be fun!" Natsumi broke in while adjusting Cloud's kimono, "I did a good job on this one huh?"

Glancing down at his attire Cloud gave a nod. "Yes, you always do."

Smiling Natsumi placed her hand on the side of Cloud's face. "I just want you to have a good time alright? I think you need to get out of this house for a bit, it'll be good for you."

Hesitating briefly Cloud thought it over. He really didn't feel like going out and being around people and would be more than content with just staying inside his room all evening. But he knew he was worrying his mom half to death, so he felt like he owed her that much at least. He hated to see her worry, and she had put so much time into making the special kimono for the event that he just didn't feel right about not going at all.

"Okay," he finally said and his mom nearly jumped five feet into the air.

"Good!" She said before leaning in to place a kiss on his cheek. "Now your father is going to meet us there once he's done with work. But in the meantime let's go and enjoy ourselves!"

Forcing himself to give a smile for his mom's sake Cloud nodded once more. Natsumi lit up from the small smile and that made Cloud feel good. Even if he wasn't feeling particularly up to it, it made him happy to make his _mom_ happy and well…that was at least one positive in all of his negativity.

Not idling about for a moment longer Natsumi had started to drag Cloud from out of the house and into the castle. She was so excited to get Cloud out that she was happily chattering away the whole time as they made their way into town. Cloud hadn't really been talking but it didn't look as if that mattered to his mom. He didn't even realize that they had gotten into town until he realized that the streets had started to become more crowded, and there was music drifting in the air.

Little kids ran throughout the streets, pulling their parents along behind them as they rushed over to different vendors who were selling sweets. In fact it was actually the first thing that Cloud would usually do when he arrived in town for the festival. Go and get sweets. They only brought out the best kinds during the Cherry Blossom Festival and he made it a goal to get as many of them as he could every year. He could already smell the sweet aroma wafting into the air and he couldn't help but to let his eye linger on one of the vendors carts.

"Shall we get one?" Natsumi asked when she noticed Cloud looking towards the vendor.

"Uh," Cloud started, but before he could even finish his sentence Natsumi was already making her way over to the cart. Cloud simply followed behind her as she made her way up to the front of the line and ordered two Adzuki rolls. Once she had them in hand she turned around and gave Cloud his before taking a bite out of her own.

"Mm," she started while wiping away a few crumbs, "remind me before we leave to get more of these to take home."

Nodding briefly Cloud took a bite out of the small pastry before catching his mom's questioning gaze.

"It's good," he said and Natsumi smiled. She was so glad to be able to get him to do the small usual things that he would normally do before he had gotten in such a strange way. And she was determined to keep going like this until he was back to his same self…however long it took Natsumi promised herself that she was going to see him through it.

"Natsumi!" A woman's voice cried causing both Cloud and his mother to turn around.

"Rayoko!" Natsumi exclaimed as the woman got closer, "I wasn't sure if you were going to come or not."

"Of course, I couldn't miss this," the woman spoke before turning to Cloud.

"It's nice to see you again," Cloud said softly with a bow. This woman was a friend of his mothers and back when they used to live in town he would always see her, but since they had been in the castle he rarely ever saw her anymore.

"It's nice to see you as well Cloud," Rayoko said with a smile, "I remember when you used to be this big," she explained while holding her hand out a little below her waist. "Makes me feel old."

"Rayoko!" Natsumi gasped with a laugh, "if you're old than you're saying so am I. And that's not the case."

The two women laughed together before continuing on with their friendly conversation. Cloud idled about for a few moments as he looked around at the passing people, but he didn't really want to hang around there any longer. The crowd was suffocating and all of the laughing and music seemed to annoy him now for some reason.

"Excuse me," Cloud began with a bow, "sorry to interrupt, mom is it okay if I find you later? I'm going to go look around."

"Oh yes of course sweetie," Natsumi said while giving him a smile, "I'll see you later. Your father should here by then."

"Okay," Cloud replied before turning to Rayoko, "I hope I see you again soon," he finished with another bow. Rayoko gave him a smile and a nod and then he was off, making his way through the sea of people. He almost had half the mind to go back to the castle and just go home, but he didn't want to upset his mom if she were to find out. Finally making it to his destination he stepped inside the usually fairly quiet restaurant that was now full and buzzing with chatter. Letting out a sigh he made his way across the room and took a seat at a table that was off to the side, mostly isolated from the others but not really with all of the people inside.

"Welcome sir, just one se…Cloud?"

"Hi Yuffie," Cloud said as his younger friend made her way over to his table.

"I didn't expect to see you here!" Yuffie beamed, "well at least not by yourself. Where is Aerith and everyone else?" She asked while setting down a teacup before filling it with the hot liquid.

"I don't know," Cloud replied quietly while taking the small cup in his hands.

"Well I'm sure she'll be here soon," Yuffie continued, "along with Zack if he's not busy. But I think I remember him and Kunsel saying that they were going to be here…maybe as security though."

Cloud's breath caught in his throat at those words. Just the mention of Zack caused him to worry. He hadn't seen Zack since that time he came by to check on him. And while he missed him, and while he really did want to see him…he still couldn't bring himself to.

"Do you know what you want?" Yuffie asked while glancing over at a rowdy table briefly.

"Not yet, give me a second?" Cloud asked while looking up to his friend.

"Sure!" Yuffie said with a smile before turning and making her way over to another table and refilling their tea.

Letting out a sigh Cloud placed his elbows on the table. He really wasn't even that hungry, he just came to the teahouse to get away from the crowded streets. Even if it wasn't exactly quiet in here it was much better than wandering around outside. Out there he would see families and friends having fun, laughing and talking…but not him. He hadn't spoken to anyone about the festival. In lessons Aerith tried to bring it up, but Cloud practically ignored her. He didn't feel like socializing and he only went to his lessons because he had to, but right after that he went home. Kunsel had stopped venturing down that way and delivering notes to him, whether that was because he was busy or Zack had just given up on writing to him Cloud wasn't sure…all he knew was that they did. And while he hadn't returned any of Zack's prior letters, he had to admit that he was hurt when he didn't receive any anymore. What did that mean? Was Zack tired of being ignored? Was he frustrated at him? Or had he just given up on him altogether?

_No,_ Cloud thought to himself while resting his head on the table with his arms crossed beneath him. _Zack wouldn't give up on me._ _He just doesn't understand…and he never can._

Shutting his eyes tightly Cloud's thoughts continued to run wild in his head. Was he selfish to think that Zack would just wait around for him forever when he was continually pushing him away? He made no efforts to see him, or even act remotely caring lately. Maybe Cloud's father was right…no, had gotten what he wanted. If they were separated for as long as they had been, maybe he knew that they would eventually drift apart. No…that wasn't it. His father had nothing to do with it. The reason why he felt so distanced from Zack was because he felt…unworthy of him now. Tainted, dirty…worthless. All of the things that Zack didn't deserve, so how in the world was he ever going to be more than that again? He couldn't, and that was the harsh reality of it. Yes, that's what it was. So then maybe Aerith would be much better for Zack after all…

"May I sit?"

Snapping open his eyes Cloud's heartbeat sped up and he seemed to stop breathing for a moment. That voice…was one that he would never forget. A voice that unfortunately was forever etched into his brain now. Pulling himself up from the table quickly he leaned back and looked upwards to see the Shogun looking down at him and giving him a wry smile. Elena was beside him and writing down something in whatever book it was that she was holding, not seeming to even be paying attention to what was going on.

Cloud opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. His eyes darted about the restaurant nervously, and even though there was a room full of people he felt more alone and scared than ever.

Not waiting any longer for Cloud's reply Hojo slipped into the seat across from Cloud.

"I'm glad to see you here," Hojo began while adjusting his glasses slightly.

Cloud couldn't keep his gaze on the man any longer and he quickly dropped his gaze down to look at the table and the steaming cup of tea before him.

"You're…" he started shakily before clamming up altogether.

"Elena," Hojo began while looking over to his assistant, "why not continue your work outside? I'll be along shortly."

"Yes you're Excellency," Elena said with a bow before she was making her way out of the restaurant.

"What would you like to eat Cloud?" Hojo asked while redirecting his focus back to the blond.

Shaking his head a little Cloud continued to keep his gaze downwards. He didn't think he could speak at the moment even if he wanted.

"Not hungry?" Hojo asked while tilting his head, "then why come here?"

Cloud shook his head once more and he heard the man give a soft hmm sound before reaching out his hand across the table. Cloud instantly jerked his hand away but it was then that he noticed the Shogun was only reaching for his cup of tea and not his hand.

"I was hoping to see the art that you submitted in the gallery here," Hojo continued, paying little attention to Cloud's jumpiness.

"I…I didn't," Cloud replied while taking his hands off of the table completely and placing them in his lap.

"Hmm?" Hojo asked.

"Nothing was submitted," Cloud clearly replied while glancing off to the side. Why was this man here? How in the world could he sit across from him so casually as if nothing had happened!? How could he just go on with his life normally while Cloud was a wreck inside? He thought that was the end of it, the end of him! He was hoping that he would never have to see him again, even though he knew that would be hard. But seeing him in passing and around the castle was one thing, but he didn't want to have to be in his presence like this _ever_ again.

He caught the eyes of some people in the teahouse, obviously smiling at the idea of being in the Shogun's company, but Cloud wanted nothing more than to not be that. He would gladly trade his seat with anyone in the place.

"That's a shame, your art is something that needs to be shared with others don't you think?" Hojo asked while taking a sip of his tea.

Not replying Cloud just kept his focus on the table. He was hoping that maybe Hojo would get fed up and excuse himself….but honestly, he knew that was wishful thinking. He now realized this man's personality for what it was. He was stubborn and selfish, and he used his power to get what he wanted, and it didn't seem as if he had a conscious at all.

"Cloud," the Shogun continued with a soft sigh, "what use is it to be shy around me now? At this point…when we've been so close already."

Cloud couldn't help but to look up at that. Was he serious? Hojo said it as if it was some option for him. He quickly looked around making sure that nobody heard those words, but it was so loud in the place that he knew nobody did.

"You're Excellency," Cloud bit out while dropping his gaze once more. He swallowed to try to soothe his suddenly dry throat and lifted his eyes just enough to look at the front of the man's chest. To meet his gaze was…not doable at the moment. If he looked into his eyes, he would only remember the way he looked at him that night when…

Shaking his head briefly he continued, "Please don't say things like that to me."

"The truth?" Hojo asked.

_The…truth. _Yes, that is what it was. Even if he wanted nothing more than to try to forget about that.

"Please excuse me," Cloud said after finally getting control of his emotions, preparing to stand up from the table.

"No, stay here with me a little longer," Hojo said while gesturing for Cloud to sit back down.

"I'm here with my mother, she'll be expecting me soon," Cloud explained quickly but Hojo only shook his head.

"That's right. Is your father here as well? Surely he wouldn't like you to leave so suddenly if I asked otherwise," Hojo said while taking another sip of his tea.

Sinking back down into his seat Cloud felt the frustration begin to rise within him. He wanted to scream, he wanted to throw something at the man across the table. He wanted to cry, he felt sick…

"Hello sir! Just one second!" Yuffie called, greeting the latest patron that had just entered the teahouse. Out of curiosity Cloud glanced over to the entrance and his eyes widened at the sight of the Samurai.

Strolling in casually Angeal began making his way towards an empty table. But before he had made it all the way there Cloud's lips were already parting.

"Angeal!" He called across the room to get the man's attention. A few people turned their heads to look at him with his outburst, but he could care less about being rude at the moment. He just needed Angeal to look his way, to see him…to help him.

Looking up from his name being shouted Angeal glanced about before his eyes landed on bright blond hair and wide blue eyes. He gave him a bit of a questioning look before making his way over, and it was then that he really focused on just who it was that was sitting opposite of the kid.

"You're Excellency," Angeal said with a bow as he neared the table.

"Angeal, so nice to see you. Are you enjoying the festival so far?" Hojo asked with fake interest.

"Yes, it's very nice. As it is every year," Angeal replied before shifting his gaze to Cloud.

"Angeal," Cloud said softly while standing from his seat to give the other a proper bow,

"I saw your mother in town," Angeal started, before pausing when Cloud looked up at him and gave him a look that Angeal had recalled seeing only once before. That pained, almost sad look that had been in his eyes that night when he had been taken to the Shoguns quarters after that dinner. Deciding to trust his gut instinct he quickly thought up a lie. "She was asking where you were, she's pretty worried. In fact I was looking for you myself."

"Oh," Cloud started with a nod, silently letting out a sigh of relief that Angeal had caught onto what he was trying to convey with his eyes.

"Forgive me Your Excellency," Angeal spoke while looking back towards the Shogun, "I hope you don't mind if Cloud comes with me now."

"Not at all," Hojo replied while adjusting his glasses. He turned his gaze onto Cloud and gave him a brief smile, almost seeming amused that Cloud had been so bold to draw attention to them. "I'll be seeing you soon Cloud. Enjoy the rest of the festival."

Giving a quick bow Cloud had turned and was exiting out of the teahouse, barely giving any time to see if Angeal was behind him or not. He couldn't get out of there fast enough, the air seemed suffocating, he felt dirty even if he hadn't been touched, and he felt sick.

"Cloud," Angeal started while following behind Cloud who was now a good ways away from the teahouse, moving through people carelessly and not stopping his quick steps. "Cloud," Angeal said again, this time reaching out and grabbing the younger one's shoulder. He quickly came to a stop and turned around to look at the Samurai. He had a bit of a clouded, almost withdrawn look in his eyes and Angeal frowned slightly.

"Are you alright?" Angeal asked while dropping his hand from his shoulder.

Lowering his gaze a bit Cloud was silent for a moment before moving away from the man. "I don't feel so well, excuse me," he said before turning the corner. Angeal stayed behind him, following him to the back of the buildings where the music in the streets became fainter and the chatter of people's voices died down. There were some empty crates and things in the back of the buildings, probably leftover clutter from the supplies and items for the festival. And Cloud went right beside them and threw up the contents that were in his stomach. Angeal stayed close enough to keep an eye on him, but gave him some privacy as he brought up the vomit.

Once he finally got everything out he leaned against the crate while coughing a little and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Ever since Hojo had stepped foot into the teahouse his stomach had been churning. He thought it wouldn't get to him so badly but…

"Better now?"

Looking over to Angeal Cloud nodded weakly while pushing himself away from the crate. "Sorry about that," he spoke softly.

Angeal waved his hand in dismissal before taking a few steps over towards the other. "Are you feeling alright to go back into the festival? Or should…" he stopped once he noticed the boy was wiping tears away from his eyes. He was just about to ask what was wrong when Cloud took a few steps forward and wrapped his arms around him tightly. Angeal remained frozen as he looked down at blond spikes that were right next to him. He kept his arms awkwardly at his sides as he listened to Cloud cry and hold him tighter. What was Cloud so upset about? It would have to be serious for him to cry in front of him this way Angeal guessed. He knew Cloud now but still not well enough to really know his personality. Most of the things he knew about him he knew through Zack, and from finding out himself when he had been watching him that time when Zack was away. Aside from that though he didn't know much except that Cloud was the Chamberlain's son.

"It's okay," Angeal said while gently wrapping his arms around the boy and patting his back. "Calm down."

Cloud couldn't describe the feelings that were running through him at the moment. He just felt himself becoming more than overwhelmed with everything, and each day it felt like a piece of him was slipping away. And though he was trying to save that and fix it, seeing Hojo again today just seemed to put him back right where he was before. And it hurt and frustrated him more than anything.

"Did he say something to you?" Angeal asked cautiously. He felt Cloud nod against his chest and he let out a sigh. "What was he speaking to you about?"

Pulling away Cloud shook his head. He wouldn't dare say anything more than that. "I don't really remember I just…want to leave. Can you take me home?"

* * *

"Where's Angeal?"

" I don't know, I haven't seen him yet," Kunsel said while stepping out of the way of some passerby's.

"I told him I'd meet him here," Zack explained with a sigh, "guess we should've said where."

"Oh don't worry about it! I'm sure wherever he is he's having fun! Like we should be!" Aerith beamed while grabbing hold of Zack's arm. "Let's go over to that vendor there!"

Zack gave his friend a smile before nodding and letting her drag him over to the vendor she was pointing to. He bought her a pastry while Kunsel eyed the cart trying to decide if he wanted anything for himself. The whole time though Zack kept his eyes scanning over the crowd, partially to keep a look out for Angeal but also to see if he would maybe spot a certain blond. Cloud never missed the Cherry Blossom Festival. When they were kids and it was nearing it was all Cloud would ever talk about. He got so caught up in the lights and the good food and music. It was something he looked forward to every year, but with the way things had been lately Zack wasn't sure that Cloud would in fact even show for it. Not to mention that they always went together, but this time…

"Would you like to buy a ribbon miss?"

"Hm?" Aerith asked while glancing down to a little girl with bright green eyes and dark hair.

The little girl held up her box of bright colored ribbons so that Aerith could get a better look. "They're the finest material I promise!" The little girl said while pointing to the red ribbon in her hair. "See! Even I'm wearing one!"

"Ah," Aerith began with a smile while leaning down to inspect the girl's ribbon, "and it's so pretty in your hair. I think I want my hair to look pretty like yours too. So what color should I get?" she asked aloud while looking into the box. "How about pink?" Aerith asked while pointing at the pink ribbon inside.

"Five ryo," the little girl said while pulling the ribbon out of the box.

Reaching inside her sleeve to retrieve her coin purse Aerith frowned.

"What's wrong?" Zack asked once he noticed the look on his friends face.

"I don't have my coin purse," Aerith said while looking at the ground, "did I drop it?"

"You sure you brought it?" Kunsel asked.

"Yeah," Aerith said, "or at least…I thought."

"You don't want one then?" The little girl asked as her face fell a little.

"No," Zack started while reaching for his own , "she'll take it."

The little girl lit up as Zack placed the coins in her hand, but then her eyes widened and she looked back up to him. "You gave me too much sir."

"It's okay, keep it," Zack said while giving the girl a smile. She brightened and gave him a few bows while saying her thanks and then she was off to find her next customer.

"Sorry Zack," Aerith started with a sigh.

"Don't worry about it," he began while giving the ribbon to her. Smiling she accepted it before reaching back to place it in her hair, tying it in a bow around the base of her ponytail.

"Thank you," she said, a slight blush on her cheeks. Just as she had opened her mouth to speak more Kunsel had broke in, pointing off in some direction.

"Hey isn't that Angeal right there?" Kunsel asked while looking over the crowd of people.

Shifting his gaze Zack looked around before finally spotting his mentor. He was a little far away that Zack was sure he wouldn't hear him if he were to try to shout over all of the noise. But he froze momentarily when he saw a short blond appear next to the man, glancing around warily at the crowd around him and sticking close to the Samurai.

"Cloud?" Zack said quietly to himself once he got over his initial shock. "Uh…Aerith you stay here with Kunsel, I'm going to try to catch Angeal."

"Hmm?" Kunsel asked while looking back to his friend, "you want us to come with you?"

"No it's alright, with the crowd it'll be hard for all of us to try to navigate through there. I'll catch up with you two later!" Zack said before he was already moving into the crowd.

"Well should we meet up somewhere? Zack…wait!" Aerith started after her friend, but after a few seconds Zack had been completely swallowed up by the crowd and Aerith let out a sigh of disappointment.

Zack was only vaguely aware of the girl calling out to him, but he couldn't stop and take the chance of losing Cloud and Angeal in the crowd.

_ What are they doing together anyways? _Not stopping his pace he swiftly made his way through the obstacles of people and vendors, not once letting his eye stray from that spiky blond hair. And when he was close enough that he thought they would be able to hear him he called out.

Pausing briefly Angeal glanced about before seeing Zack pushing his way through the crowd.

"Oh there you are," Angeal said while crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah, I didn't know where you would be and I just happened to see you walking through," Zack explained before shifting his gaze to Cloud. He wasn't looking at him at all, and was standing off to the side of Angeal and holding onto the sleeve of his kimono. Zack guessed he was doing that so that he wouldn't get separated within all of the chaos.

"I didn't know if you were going to come or not…Cloud," Zack said carefully and softly. As if it saying it any other way may scare Cloud away or something. The blond just gave a shrug and Zack looked back to Angeal with a questioning expression. The man gave a soft sigh before looking beside him at Cloud and then he turned his focus back to Zack.

"Perfect timing then," Angeal said, "you can take Cloud back home. He's not feeling too well."

Looking up, Cloud gave Angeal an odd look. "Angeal-"

"I'm not really supposed to leave from here until the festival is over," Angeal further explained.

"Oh," Cloud replied with a nod, "well thank you very much," Cloud started after letting go of his sleeve and giving a bow. "But I'll be fine getting back on my own."

"Cloud I'll take you back," Zack stated, "it's getting late you shouldn't walk back alone."

Not saying anything at all Cloud simply waited for Zack. He didn't want to say he wanted him to walk back with him, and at the same time he knew that he should given the circumstances. He didn't feel safe going anywhere really.

"I'll see you later Zack," Angeal spoke before looking back to Cloud. "I hope you feel better soon."

"Thank you," Cloud said with a bow.

"Let's go," Zack spoke while waiting for Cloud to walk ahead of him so that he could keep an eye out on him as the way made their way through town. It took them much longer to get out of town than it normally would've with all of the congestion, but after some time they were out and heading back into the castle. The travel back was probably the most quiet and awkward moment that the two of them had ever shared. No one spoke a word, and while Zack would let his eyes fall onto Cloud every so often, he never once caught Cloud looking his way and that unsettled him a bit. He used to be able to read Cloud so easily, but lately…more and more, it was harder to do. And he never had Cloud shut him out so badly, not like this. He had dealt with his anger before but it was always only minor and something trivial. Never to this extent. He had never seen him so down and upset and just….he couldn't explain it. But he just knew that he didn't like it.

Once they had made it back to Cloud's quarters and he had just opened the door to go inside he stopped briefly and mumbled thank you before stepping inside and starting to slide the door closed. But before it could go any further Zack stuck his arm inside, stopping the door from meeting the other side of the frame.

"We need to talk," Zack said seriously while keeping his gaze fixed on Cloud.

"No, we don't," Cloud said softly, still refusing to meet Zack's gaze.

"Well I'm not leaving," Zack replied with a shake of his head.

Cloud let out a sigh while glancing at the door, "Zack move your arm."

"No," Zack started, "you're not going to close me out. So the only way to make me move my arm is if you open the door and let me in."

"You need to leave, you can't be here," Cloud explained mechanically while trying to continue closing the door.

"Your parents are going to be gone for a long time at the festival. And even if they come back I don't care. I'll deal with it then at that time," Zack shot back.

"Zack," Cloud began with a little bit of annoyance in his voice. But Zack hardly cared about that, he was going to take Angeal's advice. And that was to either fix things…or let them go eventually. Not negotiating with Cloud any further Zack brought up his other hand and slipped it between the door, grabbing the door and sliding it in the opposite direction that Cloud was trying to go. He saw Cloud struggle for a moment but Zack easily pulled it open, causing Cloud to finally look at him and give him an angry look. Zack didn't want to overpower him like that but Cloud was really not giving him a choice here. Once he had stepped inside and closed the door behind him Cloud had already begun to make his way down the hall, no doubt trying to go to his room to escape Zack. But the Samurai wasn't about to do the whole fight with the doors again and so he quickly followed after Cloud and grabbed a hold of his arm before he could venture any further down the hall.

"Let go!" Cloud shouted while trying to wrench his arm away from Zack.

"Not this time, no," Zack said, keeping his voice surprisingly calm even though he was really frustrated inside.

"Zack!" Cloud continued while twisting his arm in a futile attempt to free it.

"What's wrong? Just talk to me…please. I've given you enough time haven't I?" Zack asked while softening his gaze but keeping his grip tight on Cloud's arm.

"Talk? There's nothing to talk about," Cloud explained while glaring at Zack.

_ Nothing to talk about? _Those words alone caused Zack to become more angry. Why was Cloud being so cold towards him? Acting so nonchalant and casual as if Zack were the one blowing things out of proportion.

"How can you say that?" Zack asked incredulously, "we haven't spoken in…weeks! You don't respond to my letters, you tell me you don't want me to be around….what is this? Just be honest with me. Did your dad say something else to you?"

"Zack," Cloud started softly while wincing slightly, "that hurts."

A brief feeling of confusion hit Zack but then he quickly let go of Cloud's arm when he saw him wince. He didn't think he was holding his arm that tightly, he didn't mean to…

"I'm sorry," Zack quickly apologized.

Shaking his head Cloud gently rubbed his arm, "I have a bruise there."

"What happened?" Zack asked while taking a step forward, automatically going to check Cloud's arm for the injury. But before he could even really touch him Cloud had stepped back.

"Don't," he said again while shaking his head and pointing down the hallway, "Zack just leave….please."

"Cloud," Zack began, his frustration starting to hit a breaking point. "No, stop asking me to leave! I won't, not until I know what's going on…not until we're okay again."

_Until we're okay again? _Cloud repeated in his mind. That was…that couldn't happen, ever. Not now, not anymore. Not when things were so, so different. He wasn't the same person, the Cloud that Zack knew…felt like he didn't exist anymore. And how could Cloud still try to be with him with that in mind? How could he try when the Shogun had ripped them apart already? So many things were stacked against them before…but was this the final straw that would make it all topple over? Was it possible to salvage, or was it so badly damaged it was beyond repair?

"Stop it…there's no point. That's…it's," Cloud tried to explain as he felt that annoying sting come back to his eyes, but he quickly tried to blink back his tears.

"What?" Zack asked softly, urging Cloud to continue.

Shaking his head he mentally cursed himself as his tears managed to escape from his eyes anyways as his throat tightened with the sobs that had already started to come forth. Before he knew it he felt Zack's warm, strong arms wrap around him tightly before his fingers slid into his hair, gently caressing his scalp as he whispered words of comfort to him. It felt…so nice. It reminded him of how a loving touch was supposed to feel. How it was so different from Hojo's touch….how it was _wanted_. But even though that may be true…he couldn't accept it. No, he didn't _deserve_ it. And he…never would, not again.

Pushing away from the comfort of Zack's embrace Cloud took a step back. He saw the confused, questioning look in Zack's eyes and he quickly had to look away.

"What is it Cloud? Your dad said something to you right? Did he find out about that day when you met me at Angeal's?" Zack questioned.

No, not that. Saito was only one part of the mess. And while he did forbid Cloud to see Zack anymore…that hardly mattered to Cloud. He would still see Zack even if he had to do so behind his father's back. But knowing that the Shogun told his father, knowing that and _understanding_ that with everything that had happened….

"This isn't about my dad," Cloud started while wiping at his eyes, "I just…Zack, just leave please."

Zack was trying to be calm, he was trying to be reasonable. He was trying to allow Cloud some time to be able to open up to him. But even with so much time passing and Cloud was still pushing him away…Zack didn't know what to do. He couldn't force Cloud to tell him anything, he couldn't force him to talk with him if he didn't want to. But he was just hoping…that Cloud cared, _loved_ him enough to be able to give him that much at least.

"You really want me to leave?" Zack asked, " we barely see each other now and when we do you never want me around. You're so set on pushing me away all the time…do you just want me to never be around you again? Is that it? Because if it is just tell me now."

_No! _At least that was what Cloud was screaming in his head. He didn't want Zack to be away from him…ever! He wanted nothing more than to just be able to be with him, to have him fix him and put him back together again and tell him things would be okay and have them really be fine. But that was a fantasy now , it could never be reality, not anymore.

Cloud could hear the frustration and anger in Zack's voice and he didn't blame him. He was angry at himself too after all. But underneath that tone he heard sadness, and that was what tore him apart inside.

"Cloud," Zack continued while taking a step closer to him and tilting up his chin so that he could look him in the eyes. "Are you going to listen to these people on the outside? Are you going to let them get in the way of us? You always say you're so afraid of losing me…and you're the one pushing me away. Who cares what your dad says, it's not about him. You can't let him get to you. Or is it something else entirely?"

Cloud pulled away at those last words but Zack was just as fast and caught hold of his arms once more before Cloud could move further away.

"Cloud," he began softly while leaning down and pressing his face into the side of his neck. "Please."

Cloud's instinct was to lift his arms and wrap them around Zack. To run his fingers through this his hair, what he always did when Zack was troubled over something. But he couldn't bring himself to, and instead his arms remained at his side.

"Zack," he started weakly knowing he should push him away again, but knowing that if he did it again that he would only hurt Zack more…and he didn't want to hurt him, honestly he didn't. And he hated that his pain was causing pain for the one he loved most.

"Do you really not want me around?" Zack asked, his voice slightly muffled from being pressed against Cloud's neck.

_No.._

"Are you pushing me away because…you're tired of dealing with the stress?"

_No…you're worth it. I never think of you as a burden…_

"Are you just afraid to say it? That you really…want to break up with me?"

_NO!!_

Why couldn't he open his mouth and say these things to him? Because he felt he had no right to…wasn't that it? It remained quiet for a while after that, Zack still standing with his hands clutching Cloud's arms and his face pressed against his neck, and Cloud unmoving as he tried to put a wrangle on his thoughts. He only snapped out of his chaotic mind jumble when he felt wetness against his neck and he turned his head a little, raven hair gently brushing against his face.

"Zack?" He asked softly. But he got no reply, and the only sound that came from the other was his breathing. Sucking in a breath Cloud's eyes widened. Zack was…crying. Zack who he hadn't seen shed a tear since in years, and even then it was only one tear that fell from his eye when he had taken a bad fall when they were kids. And aside from that…Cloud never recalled seeing that display ever again.

"Zack," he said again while finally bringing his arms up to wrap around the Samurai. He held him tightly while exhaling the breath that he had taken in. "Don't…please."

Zack had no response, he couldn't respond. Because the thought of losing Cloud…if that's what he really wanted was to end things between them…Zack couldn't imagine. And Cloud's silence when he asked that question was answer enough, or so he thought. Didn't he mean more to Cloud than that? Was he honestly going to let his father or whatever it else that it was influence him so much that he was willing to let it all go?

They stayed that way for a while, a silence overtaking them as Cloud kept his arms wrapped securely around Zack. Then he was pulling away gently and Zack reluctantly let him go before turning his head quickly and wiping his eyes.

"Zack," Cloud said quietly, his heart wrenching at the sight. "I don't want to…" he started shakily as Zack turned sad eyes back onto him.

_"I don't want to lose you…I don't want to hurt you. I love you…"_

After another brief moment of silence Zack looked away before speaking. "I get it," he said softly. "I'll go."

Blinking Cloud watched as Zack turned and made his way down the hallway, moving further and further away from him.

_Wait…what? No, that's not what I…_

Zack misinterpreted Cloud's words. He hadn't gotten to say exactly what it was he really wanted, it was hard to get out the words. But Cloud didn't mean…

The sound of the front door closing shut caught Cloud's attention and he realized that he had zoned out so much from his shock that he hadn't even fully realized that Zack had left so quickly. He had to make this right, he couldn't let Zack think he didn't want to be with him anymore. Finally moving from his spot in the hallway Cloud quickly made his way to the front door and slid it open quickly.

"Zack? He started while looking around trying to catch a glimpse of the Samurai. He stepped out further and looked down the corridor to see Zack already almost at the end. "Zack!" Cloud shouted after him in the empty hallway. There was no mistaking if Zack heard him or not, Cloud's voice practically echoed in the place…but Zack still didn't stop or turn around. He just kept going.

_No…wait. Please don't be angry… _

"Zack wait!" Cloud called again while running down the corridor after the other. With each step he took he felt panic rising inside of him. What was he doing? He was so messed up as of lately that he was pushing away the one person who he really needed…and while he knew he wasn't worthy of him now…he couldn't help but to want to be a little selfish. He loved Zack, he didn't want to be without him.

"Zack please," Cloud continued once he had gotten closer to him. Finally ceasing his steps Zack let out a sigh, not turning around to look at Cloud before he spoke up.

"Isn't this what you wanted?" Zack asked, "Why are you confusing me like this?"

Stepping up behind the Samurai Cloud shook his head. "I'm sorry," Cloud said while wrapping his arms around Zack's waist and holding him tightly. "I'm so sorry," he repeated over and over before he felt Zack pry away his arms. He felt his stomach drop at that for a moment, thinking that Zack was pushing him away and going to continue walking away from him. But then Zack was turning around to face him before pulling him into a crushing embrace. Cloud immediately returned it, throwing his arms around Zack's neck and kissing his cheek.

"Stop apologizing," Zack said while returning the chaste kiss.

They stayed that way for a long time, and even though they were out in the open in the castle, it didn't seem to matter to either of them. And while there was still so much for them to talk about, so much for them to work through…it seemed as if they were at least going in the right direction.

* * *

**Authors Notes:** And here is Chapter 13! And yes...I lied again about putting in the other character. Sorry, lol Im just not going to say that anymore so I wont get caught up. Although it really should be next chapter. Anyways, so I know alot of stuff was going on in here...mainly Cloud's mind and inner conflicting emotions. He doesn't feel worthy of Zack and is ashamed of what happened, but of course still loves him. It's all kind of inner turmoil ya know? And Hojo, well of course we haven't seen the end of him. And while Cloud may not be pushing Zack away anymore, what's going to happen with this secret? Of course Zack's not going to be left in the dark for very long, will Cloud tell him or will he find out some other way? Hmm. Thanks for the reviews everyone! Especially for Chapter 12, you're guys feedback was much appreciated with that seeing as how I've never written something like that, you know noncon. Anyways, this is getting long! So until next chapter! Ja ne!


	14. Betrayal

"_Hey!"_

_Turning his gaze away from the lake Zack gave a wide grin as he looked at his younger friend approaching._

"_You got out of training earlier today," Cloud said while taking a seat next to Zack on the grass and giving him a warm smile._

"_Yeah," Zack replied with a stretch of his arms over his head. "Angeal was summoned suddenly for some reason so..."_

_Nodding Cloud turned his eyes forward before reaching down to pull absentmindedly at the grass. "Well good, I was bored," he explained with a brief laugh._

_Keeping his gaze on his friend Zack couldn't help but to let his eyes trail over Cloud. Taking in his profile, the way his blond spiky hair framed and shielded his face. His small hands that were pulling at blades of grass before moving upwards to move some of his hair away from his face, giving Zack a glimpse at bright blue eyes. _

_He quickly looked away once he realized his gaze lingering and he felt his face heat up momentarily. It seemed to be happening more and more lately, but he couldn't help but to keep his eyes plastered on Cloud. Everything about him seemed to catch Zack's attention, and now things that never affected him before were doing the exact opposite. Whenever Cloud would smile or laugh it caused a strange sensation in Zack's stomach. Even just a casual touch from his friend caused him to feel flustered._

"_You want to have dinner at my house tonight?" Cloud asked while looking back over to Zack. "My mom said she's making your favorite so you may as well come."_

"_Yeah sure," Zack replied while clearing his throat and shifting his gaze back to Cloud._

"_What happened?" Cloud asked with a frown as he leaned forward slightly._

"_Huh?" Zack asked while leaning back just a bit._

_Reaching out Cloud gently touched Zack's cheek, letting his fingers lightly run over the reddened area. "How'd you get hurt?" Cloud asked in concern while moving forward a bit more to closely inspect the bruise._

"_Oh," Zack began with a blink. He had practically forgotten that he even had a mark there at all. "Just wasn't paying attention while I was training. It's nothing serious," he explained with a smile._

"_Be more careful," Cloud said while giving Zack a firm look. Laughing slightly Zack nodded. Cloud was always so worrisome, and since Zack had become Angeal's understudy it was as if Cloud's worry had shot up tremendously. And while Zack was always reassuring Cloud that he didn't need to be concerned over every little scratch or bruise that he got...it hardly seemed to matter because Cloud didn't listen. But Zack was okay with that really, it was sort of cute that his friend worried about him so much. _

"_You should at least put something on it," Cloud continued, "it's not too bad right now but you don't want it to swell." _

_Giving a wordless nod Zack let his eyes wander over his friend's face. Cloud was so close to him now...too close. So close to the point that he could practically feel his breath. And that wasn't anything unusual really, the only thing that was different about it now was that it was affecting him. The feel of Cloud's fingers against his cheek, his warm breath and those eyes that were so close to his now that he could just stare into them and get lost..._

_And those lips. If he leaned forward just a bit more..._

_It would be so easy to just kiss Cloud. To feel the warmth and softness of his mouth. It was more than tempting...but Zack restrained. He couldn't do that and scare Cloud. No, he wouldn't. He was his friend and he wouldn't do that to him. But he just..._

"_Come on," Cloud said, seeming completely unaware of the conflicting thoughts in Zack's mind as he pulled away and stood to his feet. "We'll put some ice on that, and dinner should be ready soon anyways."_

"_Okay," Zack replied while getting to his feet as well, trying to appear normal as he and Cloud walked back to his home. They chatted along the way, although Zack was really only half involved. He had too much on his mind...he had Cloud on his mind. He had already more than begun to realize that he had feelings for his friend, but they only seemed to intensify as time went on. He wanted to tell him but...he was scared of Cloud's reaction. But what scared him more than that was to lose Cloud to someone else. That would be...more than he could bare. _

* * *

Running his fingers gently though blond spikes Zack kept his eyes glued onto the small form of his boyfriend who was clinging tightly to him as he slept. A few times Zack had moved just to shift and change position and Cloud would seem to hold onto him even tighter, almost as if even in his sleep he was afraid of something...and didn't want Zack away from him. But that was fine, the Samurai had no intention on leaving Cloud. They had talked for a while after Cloud had caught him in the hall previously. They came back to the house and _carefully _talked to each other, although things were still very fragile, tense. And Zack didn't want to rock the boat, so he didn't push Cloud on anything more than he was willing to tell. And the only thing that Cloud had really told him was that he was just stressed out lately from dealing with his father and that was why he was so on edge. And while Zack did believe that to a certain degree...he knew that there was something much more plaguing Cloud. Something that he was keeping from him, and probably his parents for that matter. He knew when Cloud was bothered by something, it was easy to read him in that regard.

And once Cloud had fallen asleep after Zack had took him into his arms, he started to become curious about some things. Cloud definitely felt a lot more thin to him. He always had a small frame, but he seemed to be even more so. The dark circles under his eyes weren't as bad as he had seen them before but they were still evident on his pale skin. And when Zack had grabbed hold of his arm earlier and Cloud said he had a bruise...he definitely did. Once Cloud was asleep Zack had taken a look at his arm and noticed the fading but still distinct bluish, black mark. But how did he get it? A part of Zack wanted to shake Cloud awake and demand he tell him how he got hurt, but he knew that was useless, and more than that he knew Cloud needed to sleep. However the gears in Zack's mind were turning and he didn't plan on getting any sleep at all.

"No," Cloud mumbled quietly. It was so soft that Zack wasn't entirely sure that he actually heard it, but then Cloud moving a little caught his attention. Stopping his fingers from running through his hair Zack kept his gaze on Cloud, waiting for him to relax and still and continue on sleeping peacefully. But instead he gripped onto Zack more tightly before continuing with his mumbling. "Please...don't."

"Cloud?" Zack asked softly while leaning down a bit closer to the other. He noticed that Cloud's eyes were now squeezed tightly and he was starting to move his head from side to side.

"Please...please," Cloud continued to cry.

"Cloud," Zack began a bit more loud this time while shaking him gently, "wake up."

"Don't!" Cloud shouted, coming awake with a start and sitting up partially.

"Shh," Zack started comfortingly while wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, "it's okay. You were having a nightmare."

"What?" Cloud asked seeming a bit confused as he glanced around a bit. "I...Zack?"

"I'm right here," Zack said softly while pressing a kiss to the top of Cloud's head.

Letting out a sigh Cloud relaxed against his boyfriend, trying to calm his nerves from another one of his nightmares. "I fell asleep?" He asked before pulling away quickly and looking at Zack with wide eyes. "Are my parents back?" He asked quietly.

"No," Zack replied while pulling Cloud back towards him.

"Zack," Cloud continued with a shake of his head, "you have to leave before they get here."

"I'm not going anywhere," Zack stated before glancing over to the window. "Besides I don't think they're coming back tonight. The festival's long since been over. They probably just stayed in town tonight cause of the crowds."

Cloud figured Zack was probably right about that, after all it wasn't unusual when the festival came around to do such. Especially if his father had had one too many drinks and his mom didn't feel like dealing with getting him back home. But even so, Cloud really didn't want anything to happen if his father were to come back and see Zack there. He already had too much to worry about.

"But if my dad sees you here I don't want anything to-"

"It's okay. Don't worry," Zack cut in while holding Cloud tighter. "It'll be fine."

"Okay," Cloud said softly in response, deciding to trust his boyfriend as he always ended up doing.

"Do you want to tell me what you dream was about?" Zack asked carefully while letting his fingers run back through blond hair.

"I don't remember," Cloud replied instantly while curling in more to Zack.

"Alright," Zack said with a nod. He wasn't sure if he totally believed Cloud but he wasn't going to push things. Not anymore, not tonight. Because this evening was about comforting Cloud now, letting him know that he was still there, and that he would always be there. That he wasn't alone and he could rely on and depend on Zack. That was what Zack was trying to instill into Cloud who seemed to have been wavering on that earlier. Everything else that was going on, the questions and things that they needed to discuss...that could come later, in time.

"Try to get some sleep, I'll be right here," Zack continued while pulling the blanket up higher on Cloud who appeared to be shaking slightly. Whether that was from being cold or something else... Zack wasn't really sure.

"Are you sure you don't want to go?" Aerith asked as they exited from their lessons session.

"Yeah I'm sure," Cloud replied with a nod before glancing over to his friend. She wanted to go into town for lunch, but he wasn't supposed to go into town without his father's permission. And besides that he was supposed to be meeting Zack. He had made up some excuse and told his mom he would be a bit late getting home after lessons. She didn't seem to mind either way and was able to convince Saito that Cloud arriving back home later was fine. And although his dad still didn't seem too happy about it he allowed it none the less.

"Okay," Aerith said with a soft sigh, "maybe another time then," she finished with a smile. She was just glad that Cloud was talking to her more now than he had previously. She wasn't sure if he was upset with her for some reason or if he had other things going on. At least now he didn't ignore her, and even if he wasn't still too talkative she would take what she could get.

"Yeah," Cloud began while readjusting his notebook in his hands, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay!" Aerith beamed before they parted ways. Cloud continued on his way, heading towards the garden he and Aerith usually went to. That was where he was going to meet Zack, but he couldn't deny that he was getting a bit nervous about it. He hadn't really spoken to Zack for about a week. Since the day of the festival he hadn't seen him, just like always it was hard to do so. The night that they spent together went by too fast, and when Cloud woke up in the morning Zack was already gone. Cloud understood why he had to leave so suddenly though, he was trying to avoid Cloud's parents...or well his father at least.

A few days later Zack had Kunsel take a note to Cloud and give it to him after lessons, and that was when they arranged to meet. Cloud wanted to see Zack, really he did. But he just didn't know what the visit would bring. What questions would Zack ask? Cloud was aware that he wasn't fooling Zack, and he knew that it wouldn't be long until Zack became frustrated with him hiding something else from him. But he just...couldn't.

'_Calm down...if you just act normal then Zack won't be suspicious of anything.'_

Reaching the garden Cloud stepped out into it before letting his gaze wander about. He didn't see Zack anywhere around, he must've beaten him there. Walking over towards the small stream he took a seat on the edge, watching the goldfish as they swam about. He was so focused on them that it took him a moment to see another figure in the reflection of the water. Eyes widening slightly he looked up at the bridge that crossed over the stream to see a man standing in the center of it and giving Cloud an unreadable look.

"Oh," Cloud started while standing to his feet and giving a bow. "Forgive me, I didn't know there was anyone here."

"Likewise," the man replied smoothly while continuing to cross the bridge until he was on the same side as Cloud and standing just a few feet away from him. "This used to be an isolated place from the castle."

" It still sort of is," Cloud explained while looking back into the man's eyes. They were striking green, and almost seemed to hold some sort of glow. Cloud couldn't help but to stare. Those eyes paired with the long silver hair were a bit entrancing.

"Mm," the man began, "so then that hasn't changed at least."

"You," Cloud started with a bit of a questioning look, "stay here in the castle?" Surely this man couldn't have, Cloud would remember seeing someone like him around.

"I did at one time," the man answered quickly, "and I don't recall ever seeing you around."

Pausing briefly Cloud's eyes traveled to the giant sword strapped across the man's back. Was he possibly a Samurai? He wasn't wearing the usual Samurai attire and instead just wore a black kimono...but he definitely looked as if he could be Samurai.

"I'm sorry," Cloud said with a bow, "I'm the Chamberlain's son."

"Chamberlain Toga's son?" The man asked with a slight raise of his eyebrow, "I thought his son had moved away once he had married."

"No, my name's Cloud Strife," the blond correcte

d before continuing, "Chamberlain Toga was replaced by my father Saito."

"Replaced you say," the man said softly while looking away in thought.

"Yes, I don't really know the specifics but my father is Chamberlain now. My family has stayed here for almost a year now."

"I wonder what else has changed," the green eyed man said to himself before looking back to Cloud. "I'm sure that I'll be seeing more of you then in that case."

"Um," Cloud started before taking a step back when the man walked closer towards him. He stopped however when he noticed the blond move away.

"Forgive me for the late introduction," he started, "my name is Sephiroth."

_Sephiroth? Wait, he couldn't mean..._

"Sephiroth...as in _General _Sephiroth?" Cloud asked with wide blue eyes. Sephiroth just gave a small nod in reply and Cloud's mouth nearly dropped for a few reasons. Mainly because everyone thought that General Sephiroth had died in battle. After one particular battle when Sephiroth had gone missing and hadn't come back to Edo, they had proclaimed him as dead...and that had been a few years ago. And secondly...Sephiroth was known to be the best Samurai, the most deadly and cold. He was a legend! And while Cloud had never met him himself, he had heard so much about him, it was almost surreal to know that he was standing in his presence at the very moment.

"I...everyone said that you had died," Cloud explained with a shake of his head.

"That would be the obvious conclusion," Sephiroth began, "however you can see it's inaccurate."

_Inaccurate indeed. _Blinking a few times Cloud opened his mouth to say something only to realize that he didn't know what to say, he was suddenly speechless. After all what could a kid ask someone like Sephiroth?

"In any event," the man continued, "I shouldn't linger about any longer, I have an audience with the Shogun soon."

"Oh," Cloud replied with a nod, "of course."

"It was a pleasure meeting you Cloud," Sephiroth began while taking a few steps away from the boy before casting one last look his way, "I'll see you soon."

Cloud didn't get a chance to say anything else before the man was retreating completely and exiting the garden and back into the castle. The only thing Cloud could do was stare at the entryway in which the man had disappeared just moments ago. It was still so strange to him, surely with a man like Sephiroth arriving back in Edo the castle would've been in an uproar. Not unless the Great General was lying low. Perhaps that was why he was out in the garden where he thought nobody would notice him until his audience with the Shogun.

"Cloud!"

Looking back to the entrance Cloud saw Zack burst through the doors before quickly making his way over to the other. He seemed to be quite excited about something and once he was in front of Cloud he leaned down and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hey," Cloud said with a smile while looking up into blue eyes.

"Sorry I'm late," Zack started before shaking his head, "but today's been a bit crazy. You won't guess what's happened!"

"General Sephiroth's back in Edo?" Cloud asked with a raise of his eyebrow.

Pausing briefly Zack pulled back a little and gave Cloud a bit of a confused look. "How did you know?"

Cloud couldn't help but to laugh at the expression on his boyfriends face before he spoke up. "I saw him...just moments before you got here. He was out here when I arrived."

"Really?" Zack asked and Cloud simply nodded. Letting out a sigh Zack ran his hands through his hair before letting a wide grin spread across his face. "It's great though isn't it?"

"Absolutely," Cloud replied. He knew Zack was beyond happy about this. Unlike himself Zack knew Sephiroth. He was in training to become a Samurai when Sephiroth had disappeared, so while he never actually fought along side him in battle the man was still like a mentor to him. And since Angeal had taken Zack under his wing he was always around him and therefore knew others around him.

"Listen," Zack started seriously, "I know we planned to spend some time together now but...with everything that's happened today...I really want to go to the audience. Angeal will be there also so I think I can get in. It just seems pretty important you know?"

"Oh," Cloud started with a nod, "yeah of course it is. Go, we'll see each other later."

"Are you sure?" Zack asked hesitantly.

"It's fine," Cloud reassured with a smile.

"Thank you," Zack said softly before leaning in and kissing Cloud, "I promise I'll make it up to you."

"You don't need to," Cloud replied while bringing up his hands to push gently at the Samurai's chest, "now go before you're late."

Giving the other one more smile Zack nodded before turning and making his way out of the garden. Letting out a sigh Cloud took back up his spot near the stream while running his hands over his face. While a part of him was disappointed that Zack left...another part was oddly relieved and he couldn't help but to feel slightly guilty because of that. Relieved only because it was another escape, another opportunity to ditch the questions that he was sure would be coming his way. He knew he couldn't keep on running away forever, surely in time Zack would either grow tired of it...or he would. But at the moment it seemed the easiest thing to do, he had yet to gather the courage to tell anyone about the dark secret that was plaguing him. And in all honesty if he could keep it to himself and bring it to the grave with him he would...but, he couldn't hide something like this from Zack. No, not when he knew how protective his boyfriend was. But he would worry about that later, because right now he had been lucky enough to dodge the topic again.

* * *

"Again your father misses dinner," Natsumi said to herself with a sigh.

"I think he's even more busy now," Cloud started, "I mean the whole castle has sort of been in a an uproar since General Sephiroth came back."

"That's true," Natsumi began while stopping clearing the table and shaking her head briefly. "I still can't believe he's back."

Cloud nodded as he began helping his mom clear the table. He knew exactly what she meant, it was still a bit strange for everybody to know that Sephiroth had returned and was as good as ever. It hadn't been too long since he had returned back to Edo and since that day, after the audience he supposed things got a bit chaotic once word started to spread. He wondered just how the audience had gone, he wanted to ask Zack but he hadn't seen him for the last few days. His father had mentioned a little from what he had heard but he hadn't actually gone to the audience himself. Just what did the Shogun have to say about the General's return?

"Cloud will you take some dinner to your father? He get's back so late now that he doesn't even eat," Natsumi explained while moving into the kitchen.

"Okay,"Cloud replied just as his mom finished packing up the meal for him to take to Saito. Within a few minutes he had left from his quarters and was making his way to his father's office. It was very quiet in the halls seeing as it was now evening and Cloud was glad for it, he didn't want to have to get caught up talking to any passerby's at the moment. He just wanted to go back home and maybe work on his painting that he had been neglecting for so long. But before that he would write a letter to Zack, it was his turn to respond after all.

Coming to a stop once he reached his father's office he lifted a hand and knocked a few times. When he was greeted with silence he tried again before carefully pulling open the door and peering inside.

"Dad?" He asked while scanning the apparently empty room. It seemed as if Saito had stepped out for a moment. Crossing the room as the door shut quietly behind him Cloud set the item down on the desk. He couldn't help but to let his eyes travel over the desk and the papers that were scattered about. He didn't read much of it but his eyes were able to catch a few names and that stirred his interest. However he didn't have a chance to snoop for very long when he heard voices getting closer to outside the door. He wouldn't have minded otherwise...but one of those voices belonged to a man he didn't want to see. He thought he could quickly try to exit but he didn't want to take the chance of running into his father and the Shogun because he knew he would probably be forced to stick around and probably worse thereafter.

Glancing around the office his eyes landed on a shoji screen over in the corner. It was merely for looks and he was sure neither of them would take a second glance at it so he decided to hide behind there.

"Very well then," the Shogun's voice sounded as the office door was opened.

"It'll be ready by tomorrow morning for sure," Saito explained before taking up the seat at his desk.

"Before the meeting?" Elena asked while shutting the door behind her.

"Yes," Saito replied while looking at the bag that was placed on his desk and opening it up.

Hojo gave a small smile as he took a seat on the opposite side of the desk. "Your wife takes good care of you."

"She does," Saito replied with a laugh while pushing the bag aside for the moment, "she worries easily."

"Well then if that about sums it up," Elena started before Hojo glanced her way.

"Why not take what you have to the conference room," he suggested, "we'll be needing those ready for the meeting tomorrow after all."

"Of course you're Excellency," she replied with a bow before stepping out of the room.

"I assure you this will be ready by tomorrow you're Excellency," Saito reassured the man across from him.

"I have no doubt about that," Hojo replied with a smile before letting his eyes scan the desk. "I've been meaning to ask you Saito, how is Cloud? I haven't seen him since the festival."

"Fine thank you," Saito replied while shuffling through some papers, "just busy with his studies."

"I see," Hojo began while leaning back slightly in his seat, "that's good to hear."

Holding his breath when he heard his name mentioned Cloud crouched down even lower behind the Shoji screen. How long were they going to be here? If he was gone for too long his mom would probably start to worry. And if he waited until his dad left the office then he would surely get in trouble if his dad got him before he did. But it wasn't as if he could pop up now...no way. Eavesdropping definitely wouldn't win him points at all with his dad. He guessed he was just going to have to wait it out.

"Perhaps you could arrange for him to meet with me again," the Shogun continued.

'_No!! Dad please... say no.'_

There was a thick pause and the only sound was papers shuffling before Saito let out a sigh and placed his arms on the desk.

"I'm not too sure if that would be a good idea," Saito started, "my son has been a little...out of sorts lately."

"Hmm," Hojo mused while adjusting his glasses, "about Fair I would assume."

"Yes I think so," Saito replied.

"Well I'm sure he'll come around. I'd like to see him again though," Hojo continued, dismissing Cloud's mood as if nothing at all.

Cloud felt his stomach churning, just the thought of being with the Shogun again was enough to make him physically ill. He closed his eyes tightly and let out a breath that he hadn't been aware he was holding. Why couldn't the Shogun just go away, disappear. Was it only wishful thinking when he thought the man would leave him alone after he got what he wanted?

"I thought," Saito began softly while taking a glance at the door before leaning on the desk with his elbows, "that was just a one time thing."

'_What? One time thing...dad what are you...'_

"One time thing?" Hojo asked with a raise of his eyebrow, "did I ever say such a thing?"

"I took it to mean such," Saito replied with a shake of his head.

"Well I'm sorry for the misunderstanding," Hojo began, "however that isn't what I meant. Cloud is rather special to me, it's not my intention to cast him aside so quickly."

Letting out a sigh Saito ran a hand through his hair before looking towards the Shogun. "When?"

Clasping a hand over his mouth Cloud's eyes widened. This was...no, he wasn't actually hearing this was he? There was no way that his father could've actually agreed to...

"I'll let you decide that, just try not to make it too long," Hojo explained while rising from his seat.

"Yes You're Excellency."

* * *

uthors Notes:And here is chapter 14! I apologize for the tardiness of this chapter, and I know it's much shorter than what I usually write as well. But! I just needed to touch on a few crucial things this chapter and things will start to fill out later. A little certain something called Final Fantasy XIII has been occupying my time as of late so forgive me. But there you have it, Sephiroth is the last chracter to be introduced! And Saito has knowingly made some arrangement with the Shogun when it comes to Cloud? Oh my...until next chapter everyone!


	15. Breaking Point

He was walking down the hallways in a daze, not even exactly sure where his feet were taking him. He was vaguely aware of some people passing him in the halls and saying hello to him, but he didn't reply or acknowledge them in any type of way. He couldn't seem to come to grips with what he had just heard being discussed beforehand in his father's office.

The Shogun and his father...they were using him as some sort of barter? For what reason? What on earth could the Shogun have possibly said to Saito to make him be able to pass off his son to him so easily? Did he just not care at all? Cloud couldn't wrap his mind around it. Was he not still his blood? Even if he knew that he and his fathers relationship was at times strained, he never would've thought that his dad would so casually allow the Shogun to take him to his bed. It didn't make any sense, it...hurt more than anything.

How long he had stayed there hiding in the office he wasn't sure. But after his father and the Shogun had left he seemed to be unable to move. So he just sat there in a stupor of sorts. Shocked and confused more than anything. And once he finally was able to stand to his feet he began walking, until he arrived at the destination he was at now.

Lifting a small, shaky hand he knocked on the door tentatively. He knew it was late now and he didn't mean to disturb the other...but he couldn't go home, he just couldn't. And at this hour he wouldn't be able to leave the castle's walls. He was essentially stuck, but he had to do something.

There was a silence and so Cloud lifted his hand again and knocked more loudly this time. He heard some shuffling on the other side of the door before it was slid open. The man before him at first held a bit of a questioning look, no doubt wondering who would be knocking at his door at such an hour. But once he caught sight of the blond his eyes softened.

"Forgive me," Cloud started softly, "I know it's late but...I didn't know where else to go."

"Cloud," The Samurai began while gently reaching out his hand and taking the blond by the wrist. "It's okay, you're more than welcome to come here."

"Thank you," Cloud replied as he was guided inside the home.

"Have a seat," Angeal spoke up while leading Cloud into the living room. He sat down carefully before the man sat down across from him. He raked his eyes over the blond once noticing the paleness in his skin and the red around his eyes. And although there weren't tears coming from his eyes at this moment Angeal could tell he had been crying earlier.

"Would you like some tea?" Angeal asked.

Nodding Cloud met his gaze briefly before twining his fingers together nervously. Angeal rose to his feet and made his way to the kitchen. He knew something serious was bothering Cloud, and he had no problem with allowing him to stay at his place. But honestly he just wasn't very good at comforting and talking about things. So the most he could do was try to make Cloud a little comfortable and give him some time to calm down.

Glancing around the room Cloud let out a sigh. What was going to happen since he didn't go home? He knew his mom was worrying, and that he felt bad about but he just couldn't be there right now. How was he supposed to go home to the same place as his father after finding out that he was half responsible for putting him through that hell? A part of him felt if he were to look his father in the face he would yell and scream at him or just burst into tears. He was so confused at this point, nothing made sense to him. And just like that his father was going to willingly allow the Shogun to be with him again? Just thinking back to it made him further sick. It was already one thing having to try to face the Shogun and go against him...but now his father too?

Did he do something? Did he make his father so angry, was he so disappointed in him?

He felt the tears begin to sting his eyes again and he let out a shaky breath. At this point he felt as if the tears may never stop. Knowing that his own father aided in the most terrible experience of his life...it was the ultimate betrayal. He may as well have just stabbed him in the back...literally.

Coming back into the living room Angeal placed the cup of tea on the table in front of Cloud. He noticed the new tears falling from his eyes and could hear his erratic breathing. The poor kid seemed to be losing it and falling apart right before him.

Reaching out a hand he gently patted his back before speaking up.

"Stay right here okay? I'll be right back."

Not being able to talk at the moment Cloud simply nodded his head as he continued to wipe away his tears. He was only vaguely aware of the Samurai getting up and exiting the home before he laid down on the tatami mat and curled up. Sleep was the furthest thing from his mind at this point, but mentally...he was exhausted.

* * *

Bolting inside before the castle doors were even completely opened Zack spun around and impatiently waited for his mentor. Angeal followed after, waving his hand at the younger one letting him know it was alright to run ahead if he wanted. Saying a quick thank you Zack continued on. He just had to hurry up and get to Cloud, his mind was racing and he just needed to make sure his boyfriend was okay. When he woke up to Angeal knocking at his door his first thought was that something had come up and that they needed to head out somewhere. But when he said that something was wrong with Cloud Zack's heart dropped. He knew that if Cloud went to Angeal's so late in the evening and he appeared to be as upset as Angeal had said he was...surely no good could come from that.

Finally coming up to Angeal's quarters Zack opened the door in a hurry and stepped inside. His eyes were scanning the place and once he entered into the living room he saw a small form curled up on the floor in the dim lighting of the room.

"Cloud?" Zack asked softly while walking over towards the other and kneeling down quietly beside him. Letting his fingers gently run through blond spikes he was surprised when he felt Cloud flinch and cast a glance back over his shoulder. He seemed to look a little shocked to see Zack there instead of Angeal, but he was glad that it was him.

"Zack?" He started while pulling himself up and turning around to face the other. It didn't even take him a minute before he was throwing his arms around his neck and holding onto him tightly as his tears continued to fall.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here now," Zack whispered soothingly while wrapping his arms around the smaller one.

The sound of the door closing in the background caught Zack's attention and he glanced over to see Angeal walk into the room.

"Thank you," Zack said to the man who just gave him a nod.

"I'll be in my room," Angeal replied before retreating down the hallway and into his bedroom.

Turning his attention back to Cloud Zack ran his hand up and down his back comfortingly. He could feel Cloud shaking in his arms and he heard the sobs escaping from his throat. Whatever it was that was bothering him had him really worked up. And while he was accustomed to Cloud's tears, he had never seen him cry this way before. As if he were completely breaking down. Now he understood why Angeal had gotten him, something was definitely wrong here.

"Cloud," Zack began softly while running his fingers through his hair. His heart was breaking at the sight and he couldn't help but to feel guilty about not being around Cloud as much lately. It wasn't that he didn't want to, but with Saito forbiding them to see each other it made it so much more difficult. Zack used to see Cloud practically everyday and now it was as if they were drifting. Things were going on in Cloud's life that Zack probably knew nothing about, and he hated that feeling. It was like things were detached, which was a foreign feeling to him considering that he and Cloud used to be practically inseperable. And now...if something happened. Zack wouldn't be able to fogive himself. "It's okay."

"No it's not," Cloud cried in between sobs before burying his face against Zack's shoulder.

"What do you mean? What happened Cloud?" He asked gently.

Letting out a sigh Cloud closed his eyes tightly. He had to tell Zack...he had to tell him everything. There was no more running away, no more evading. Things were way over his head now, and it seemed as if his nightmare was nowehere near finished. He couldn't hide behind the false mirror anymore, he couldn't carry this alone by himself. He felt like he was _this_ close to breaking and he didn't know what to do.

"I'm...scared," Cloud finally admitted while gripping Zack tighter.

_Scared?_

Zack felt his stomach drop at that. Not so much from the actual word but from the way it escaped lips. He could hear the quiver in Cloud's voice and he had spoken it so softly. It was almost as if when he said that he reverted back to the little boy that Zack remembered all those years ago.

"Of what?" Zack asked carefully while pulling Cloud even closer to him. He felt himself becoming protective already, as if he were trying to shield Cloud now from whatever else may try to harm him.

"Everything...I don't know," Cloud whispered while exhaling a breath that he hadn't even been aware he was holding. "I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to get hurt. I don't understand why..."

Cloud had run through things so fast and so quietly that Zack had to strain to hear him. But he picked up on what he said, and he felt more confused than ever. Although the one thing that stuck in his mind most of all was Cloud saying he didn't want to get hurt. Was that what he was scared of? Who was going to hurt him? Had someone already?

His thoughts quickly went back to the night of the festival when he and Cloud had gotten into an arguement. What stood out most in his memory from that night was when he grabbed Cloud's arm and noticed the bluish, black mark on his arm. He had asked what happened but Cloud didn't really say much about it and just pulled away from him. Zack had thought it was odd at the time but with everything that was going on it sort of slipped his mind. But now...with Cloud saying this and remembering that night...

"Somebody hurt you?" Zack asked in horror while pulling back a bit.

Cloud sniffled and kept his gaze downwards all the while remaining silent. It was still so hard to say, he was still so ashamed of the whole thing.

Anger started to rise within the Samurai just from the sheer thought of it and he quickly became impatient.

"Who?" He demanded, his voice becoming more loud as he took Cloud by the shoulders.

Cloud could hear the anger in his voice and when he looked up into his eyes he shrunk back a little. Not only was he ashamed to speak of it, but he was also afraid of Zack's reaction. True he wondered what he would think of him after, but more than that he was also a bit worried at Zack's temper. Zack was a very good natured, laid back person and everyone who knew him knew that first hand. But when it came to his family and loved ones...he was very protective. And if any harm came their way he was definitely one to not take it lightly.

"Cloud," Zack persisted while narrowing his eyes slightly. Almost as if he were trying to read into Cloud's mind.

"The..." Cloud started shakily while dropping his gaze once more. "Shogun" he finally confessed in a quiet voice while covering his face with his hands. It was the most horrible thing to have to say that to the person he loved. To let him know that he had been with someone else, even if it wasn't by his choice. He knew that was all he needed to say for Zack to understand what happened. And honestly he didn't think he could tell him anymore than that even if he wanted to. To relive that night would only further break him.

There was a thick silence that fell over the room as Zack digested the information that had just been given to him. His mind went completely blank at that moment, everything around him seemed to stop and he was only vaguely aware of Cloud's crying. And then after that his blood began to boil. The Shogun...the very man who he was _serving _had hurt the one person who meant the most to him. How did he not see it? There had been so many signs earlier on. Cloud's strange behavior, his withdrawn ways. The sleepless nights and nightmares...the bruises. How did he not piece it together more quickly? Or did he just not want to believe what he probably had already suspected in the back of his mind? How did he allow for this to happen? He was suppose to protect Cloud at all cost, he had promised him that he woudn't let the Shogun touch him and yet...he failed him.

He focused his attention back on the small blond in front of him who still had his face covered and was quietly sobbing. He looked so small and fragile in that moment and Zack couldn't help but to think what he must've went through, all alone with nobody to help him. Clenching his jaw he quickly got to his feet and began to cross the room.

Sensing the other's presence move away Cloud pulled his hands away from his face and glanced across the room at Zack's retreating back. What was he doing? He hadn't said a word since Cloud had spoken what he did to him, and now he was leaving? Cloud was confused and a little worried at this and he slowly rose to his feet.

"Zack?" He asked a bit unsure and softly. When he didn't get a response and Zack was nearing the door he quickly went after him. Coming up to the door just when Zack had slid it open Cloud quickly closed it while leaning against it with his back and looking at the Samurai.

"What are you doing?" He asked a bit shakily. In all honesty he was a bit scared from the look in Zack's eyes. They seemed to be glossed over and a little unfocused. It wasn't the usual warm, loving look that he was used to seeing in those blue depths and he didn't know what it meant.

"Just stay here," Zack spoke surprisingly calm while reaching for the door again.

"Why? Where are you going?" Cloud asked in a panic. Zack was obviously angry, in fact beyond the point of just anger. No, this surpassed something else. And although Cloud had never seen it before he was sure that this was probably the mode that Zack would go in when out on the battlefield. It was unnerving to him. The last thing he needed was for Zack to go into some sort of red rage and do something _terribly_ stupid. He wasn't thinking clearly, no, he just wasn't thinking at all. This was merely instinct.

Flashing a glance his way briefly Zack ignored Cloud's question and opened the door again. Cloud wanted to close it again, but honestly he wasn't going to be able to overpower Zack. He couldn't do it to begin with and he definitely wasn't going to be able to do it with him this way. What was he going to do? Should he go and get Angeal? Surely if anyone could stop Zack it would be him.

Cloud felt his panic rise as Zack stepped out of the quarters and started down the corridor. No, this wasn't right. If Zack got hurt because of him, Cloud would never be able to forgive himself.

"Zack stop!" Cloud cried while stepping out of the doorway. But it landed on deaf ears and Zack continued. Hot tears were rolling down Cloud's face and all of his emotions seemed to get to him at once. He was already a wreck, he didn't need to be further stressed with worrying about Zack's safety. What was he doing!

"Zackary!"

Maybe it was the sheer anguish in Cloud's voice, or maybe Zack had just finally started to come back to reality. But he finally stopped. His heart was racing and he clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles turned pure white. He had to get grip, he had to think logically. He couldn't let his anger blind him, and as a Samurai he definitely should've known better. But he just...

Turning back around his eyes fell onto Cloud who still standing in the doorway of Angeal's. He was breathing heavily and a steady stream of tears were rolling down his face. How could he further hurt him? That thought alone only made Zack feel even more guilty. He needed to be there for Cloud. He had to be strong for him, he couldn't be wreckless. Within a second he was right back in front of Cloud and scooping him into his arms in a fierce embrace.

"I'm sorry," Zack apologized with a heavy heart, "I'm so sorry."

"I need you," Cloud cried, "you can't do anything foolish like that. I can't lose you."

"You're not going to lose me," Zack continued. "I'm sorry."

'_I'm sorry for breaking my promise to you. I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me most_. '

Zack didn't know what he was more angry at. The fact that the Shogun had gotten to Cloud or that he had allowed him to. He was never going to be able to forgive himself for not being there. Cloud always trusted him, always took his word to heart without doubt. And he had broken that, and he wasn't sure there was ever going to be anyway to make up for that.

* * *

_"If I fall asleep out here you won't just leave me will you?"_

_Glancing down to his friend who was stretched out on the ground with his eyes closed he couldn't help but to laugh a bit._

_"You do look awfully comfortable," Cloud began while leaning back on his hands, "but I promise I won't leave."_

_Cracking open an eye Zack gave a grin, "good," he replied before reaching up and tugging at Cloud's arm. "Then relax with me."_

_Letting himself be pulled down Cloud lay beside Zack and let out a sigh as he gazed up at the night sky. It was such a nice evening, nights like this were what he loved most. Simply taking in the surrounding and the company of his friend. It was what they always did for as long as he could remember. The thought of not being able to have moments like these anymore pulled at his heart and he felt himself becoming depressed just at the mere thought of it._

_"What's on your mind?" Zack asked quietly while letting his eyes open to stare up at the sky. _

_Cloud wasn't really surprised at the question. Even though he was trying to act as if nothing was bothering him, Zack was always able to sense when something was wrong even if nobody else did. And while a bit annoying at times...he wouldn't have it any other way._

_"My father's going to be on the council. He was appointed as Chamberlain," Cloud explained softly._

_"What?" Zack asked while turning to face Cloud who simply just gave a nod._

_"That's great!" Zack beamed while pushing himself up slightly._

_"You think so?" Cloud asked while letting wary blue eyes focus on the other._

_"Of course," Zack replied, "I know your dad works hard. It's an honor for him to be acknowledged and be able to move up. It's good for your whole family."_

_Smiling gently Cloud glanced away, "I knew you'd say that."_

_Tilting his head slightly Zack kept his eyes on Cloud. "Well of course..."_

_"I know...everyone would say that," Cloud continued before looking back towards the Samurai, "which is why I can't say...I wish he wasn't. How ungrateful would I be."_

_"Well you said it to me," Zack started gently, "and I don't think it means you're ungrateful. What worries you about it?"_

_"I just," Cloud began before letting his gaze drift upwards to the stars again. "Feel like everything is going to change. A lot has been changing already and...I don't know. Just this gut feeling I have. It's going to be so differerent...we'll be moving and I like it here."_

_Zack could understand that. It was an extremely big change. Cloud was going to be uprooted from the only home he'd ever known and placed into a huge, foreign place where he would probably have to interact with tons of people. And knowing Cloud's personality and his shyness around others at times, it probably seemed like the worst thing to him._

_"Well," Zack started, "change isn't always a bad thing. Life is full of changes. And you won't be too far away from town...and hey Aerith stays in the castle, so at least you already know someone there right?"_

_"I guess," Cloud replied while looking back to Zack who was giving him a comforting smile. That smile that Cloud was so used to seeing on a daily basis. How was he going to manage not being able to see him all the time? His whole life Zack had only been a few doors away from him._

_"But I'll still be far away from you," Cloud finished while dropping his gaze._

_Zack's heart dropped at the look on Cloud's face when he said those words. He knew that was what was bothering Cloud the most about moving...and in all honesty it bothered Zack to, but he was trying not to show it for Cloud's sake. When you were so used to being around someone almost all the time, and for that to change so suddenly was a drastic thing. But...things were changing. And they couldn't stop that, it was life. The best thing that they could do was embrace it and learn to deal with it, and do everything in their power to still keep their friendship strong. At least Zack knew he would at all cost._

_"Is that all?" Zack asked with a raised eyebrow._

_Shifting his gaze back to his friend Cloud had a bit of a confused look on his face. He opened his mouth to speak but he only fell short and nothing came out. That caused Zack to laugh and he poked Cloud in his side while smiling down at him._

_"Don't look so sad," Zack continued, "as if you could ever get rid of me. I'd like to see you try." He needed for them to go back to their usual ways. Their playing and joking around, to steer the serious conversation to other things. It was always Zack's goal to make sure Cloud was happy. He could only deal with him looking down and sad for so long before he had to get in there and do something to bring a smile back on his face. It was something he always did since they were little. If Cloud got hurt and scraped his knee, his tears would only last for so long before he was smiling and laughing at something Zack did or said. And before he knew it Zack would've already patched up the cut, almost as if it had never happened._

_"Well that's creepy," Cloud started with a bit of a smirk, "almost stalker like perhaps."_

_"Hey!" Zack gasped in defense while a laugh had already escaped from the blond. "Take it back!" _

_But before Cloud could even say another word Zack had sprung up and let his fingers begin to tickle the other. A wicked smile spread across his face when Cloud's first shriek of laughter broke out. It didn't take long before he was laughing too. He had to admit that he enjoyed torturing Cloud this way, he always had and by now he knew all his most ticklish spots. It was the quickest way he could always win against Cloud in any play fight and it worked everytime._

_"You win!" Cloud cried in between laughs._

_"I what?" Zack asked jokingly as he continued his assault._

_"Zack!" Cloud shrieked while trying his best to pull away, "I take it back!"_

_"That's what I wanted to hear!" Zack exclaimed while stopping his assault._

_Sitting up abruptly Cloud glared at the Samurai who simply laughed and ruffled his hair._

_"You always know the outcome and yet you still try me," Zack said with a smile before draping his arm casually across Cloud's shoulders._

_"Shut up," Cloud replied slightly out of breath._

_"You good now?" Zack asked, his voice taking on a bit of a more serious tone._

_"I think so," Cloud said with a brief nod._

_"Good," Zack started, "because everything really will be fine. You'll see. And we'll still see each other, I promise. Besides I'm at the castle half the time anyways. Now I just have more reason to stick around."_

* * *

"You were right," Zack mumbled to himself, "completely right." He couldn't help but to think back to that conversation he and Cloud had before he had moved into the castle. It was almost as if Cloud had a gut feeling that something bad would happen from being there. And although he didn't know the reasons for it then, his worries and fears were in fact accurate. And Zack was angry at himself for telling Cloud otherwise, saying that everything would be fine. Luring him into this false sense of security.

Leaning against the wall in the castle hallway he let out a sigh. He had been up all night but oddly he didn't feel the least bit tired. After he had gotten past his rage he and Cloud had gone back into Angeal's and continued talking. And while it wasn't easy for Cloud he got through it with Zack's comfort and gentle prodding. Zack didn't think that Cloud had stopped crying at all last night, it was almost too much to bare in fact. But after Cloud had explained everything, after he had told him what he overheard in his father's office Zack couldn't blame Cloud for his worry. Saito? It didn't make sense at all to Zack either, but what further infuriated him was knowing that was the reason why Saito told Zack that he didn't want him to see Cloud anymore.

_'How could he set up his own son?'_

What was he getting out of this? What deal had he struck up with Hojo? No matter what it was it wasn't worth it...it could never be worth 's father or not Zack didn't really care at the moment. He had lost a great deal of respect for this man. A father was supposed to look out for the well being of his family, love and protect them at all cost. Not hurt and destroy them.

Zack had been racking his brain all night with what he was going to do to ensure Cloud's safety. Letting him go home wasn't even an option at this point. There was essentially an enemy living right there, so unfortunately Cloud wasn't even safe there. And Natsumi...she must've been oblivious to all of it.

So at the moment Cloud still remained at Angeal's. His mentor really didn't know what was going on and didn't ask many questions, he just asked that Zack do what he thought was necessary before any comottion started to come about. Zack thanked him many times, Angeal was such a good friend. He didn't have to do any of this, and he could possibly be put in a bad position if anyone found out that he was allowing Cloud to stay there when surely his family would be looking for him. But right now it was the safest. Zack had to leave and go about his daily duties however. It would only become too obvious if Cloud weren't around and all of a sudden he disappeared as well. So until he figured out what he was really going to do he had to keep things looking normal on the outside. However one thing was for sure and that was that he had to figure things out quick.

"Zack!"

Turning in the direction of the chipper call Zack saw Aerith practically skipping towards him. Full of bright smiles and a certain glint in her eyes.

"Hey Aerith," Zack replied, forcing a smile as he tried his best to appear his usual self.

"I haven't seen you in a while. You're so busy these days," Aerith said while clutching her notebook closer to her.

"Yeah, that's part of the job I guess," Zack said with a brief laugh.

"Well I'm glad I caught you!" Aerith continued before looking at the ground a moment, "There's this council dinner coming up. It was actually supposed to be a while ago but they post poned it. Anyways, it's not an all resident event and so alot of people I would like to be there won't. But I know you usually attend the dinners, so I thought maybe you would come to this one with me? You can get in because you're Samurai I'm sure and besides if you come with me it'll be fine! I mean...it's just that I don't want to be there alone, it'd be nice to have some company."

Hesitating briefly Zack pushed himself away from the wall. He vaguely remembered Cloud mentioning something about this to him. Was this the dinner he was talking about? In any event he had a few reasons why he really couldn't go. And at this time especially it just wasn't go to work.

"Oh I," he started while clearing his throat, "would like to but I can't unfortunately. I'm sorry but I have some other things going on that day."

Aerith's smile fell a little and she hugged her notebook closer to her.

"Oh really?" She asked quietly, "Funny. I didn't even tell you what day it was."

_Great..._

"Oh I just assumed," Zack began as he tried to think up some way to save himself from the corner he just backed himself into. But to his luck he wouldn't have to think on it long because Kunsel came from out of the conference room and ducked his head to look down the hall at Zack.

"Hey, they're about to get started," his friend said while waving for him to follow.

"Oh alright," Zack replied with an inward sigh of relief. Looking back to Aerith he gave her a smile before speaking. "I've got to run but...listen, I'm sorry. If things change I'll let you know okay?"

That seemed to be good enough for the brunette and she perked up a little returning the smile back to the Samurai. Saying a quick good bye Zack disappeared into the conference room. Of course he knew he still really wouldn't be able to go with her, but he didn't want to hurt her feelings and be so blunt about it. She was his friend and he cared about her, but honestly he had far more bigger things to worry about.

Taking a seat beside Angeal Zack let his eyes sweep the area. Kunsel was on the other side of him and a few other Samurai off to the side of him. There were only a few Samurai that would be able to attend these types of Conferences and they were the ones that were the top beside the Generals. There were a few council members present also, for the most part he usually saw them documenting what was discussed during the conferences but other than that he didn't really know their places on the council.

The door creaked open and Zack turned his gaze towards it. He was a bit surprised to see General Sephiroth walk in. He hadn't seen him at all since his audience with the Shogun when he had returned. All he had heard was that Sephiroth was taking some time to get settled back into things and that it would be a while before he started participating in battle again. He didn't make his way to the conference table and instead just stood beside the door he had entered and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.

He saw Angeal look over to the man and they gave a nod of acknowledgement to each other but said nothing at all. Zack didn't ask however, he knew the two were good friends and probably really didn't need words to communicate what they were thinking.

When the door creaked open again Zack didn't even look to know who it was that would be entering. At any conference like this the Shogun was always present. He always had to be there to have a say in any type of assignments that were set forth and had to give clearance for them to even take place.

"You're Excellency," a few of the Samurai said as the man crossed the room and took his seat at the head of the table.

"Everyone accounted for," Elena spoke while following behind the man and taking her place at his right, standing beside his seat.

"Very well," Hojo replied before shifting his gaze towards the General across the room. "Sephiroth, please join us here."

Jade eyes scanned the area before settling back on the man. "I'm fine here You're Excellency."

"I see," Hojo replied with a small smile, "I suppose it'll take some time getting used to the way things used to be."

"Forgive me if I prefer to be alert at all times," Sephiroth continued with a slight bow, "I mean no disrespect."

"None taken," the Shogun replied while nodding his head at the other.

"Then if we may begin," Elena said while opening up her folder and glancing over to Angeal. "Hewley. You're update on the status at Kyoto."

"You're Excellency," Angeal started with a bow towards the Shogun. He opened a file before him and begun reading the information out loud. However Zack wasn't really aware of what was being spoken after that. It was almost as if he had a ringing sound in his ears and he carefully pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel his heart start to race again and he had to tell himself to breathe. But it was hard to do when he was only feet away from the man who had raped Cloud. How in the world was he supposed to sit in the same room as him, act as if he respected him, when what he really wanted to do was reach back and pull his sword from it's sheath and slice the man's throat. His fingers were practically itching to grab the hilt of his sword. Damn loyalty, that meant nothing. When he had become a Samurai he had pledged loyalty and to honor the Shogun ate...but now, those vows meant nothing to him. His loyalty to Cloud was far greater than to some old, twisted pervert.

The rest of the conference seemed to pass by in a blur and Zack ocassionally lifted his gaze to look at Hojo but he always had to look away quickly for fear of what he would do if he stared any longer. There were a few more updates and talk of new assignments and then the meeting was coming to a close. People began to file out of the room and Zack stood to do the same.

"Ah Zack," Hojo started while still seated in his chair. The hairs on the back of Zack's neck stood on end and he slowly turned around to face the man.

"You're Excellency?" Zack forced out with a bow. Angeal was still beside him gathering his documents and such and giving a quick look to Zack.

"I wanted to ask you before you left," Hojo continued while pushing his glasses up higher on the bridge of his nose. "Chamberlain Saito brought to my attention this morning that his son didn't return home last night."

"Is that right?" Zack asked while standing back up to his normal height.

"Yes," Hojo replied while leaning forward on the table a bit, "Cloud Strife. I'm aware that the two of you are best friends. Or rather used to be. I figured I should ask you if you've seen him. His parents are awfully worried."

'_Used to be? How the hell does he know...'_

Was there anything that this man didn't know about he and Cloud's relationship? Had Saito told him everything? Zack couldn't deny that he was more than a little upset by this, it was as if he had people looking in on the most intimate moments of he and Cloud's life and he didn't like it one bit.

"I'm sorry I haven't seen him," Zack quickly replied with a shake of his head.

"That's unfortunate," Hojo said with a sigh, "if you do happen to come upon him please see to it that he makes it back home safely."

"Of course You're Excellency," Zack said with one last bow before he was exiting the conference room. Angeal was right behind him and once they made it into the hall the man spoke up.

"They'll be looking for him soon," Angeal said lowly so that only Zack could hear him. "A council members child that goes suddenly missing...they won't take that lightly."

"I know," Zack replied, "I just need a little time."

"To do what exactly?" Angeal asked as they made their way down the hall.

"To move him," Zack said, "I just need to get him out of the castle."

"Zack," Angeal started, "think this through. It could be more dangerous trying something such as that than to just leave things as they are."

"Angeal I can't," Zack shot back, "If I leave things as they are Cloud will never be safe."

There was a thick pause that passed between them before Angeal was letting out a sigh.

"Zack," he started gently, "Please don't take this the wrong way, as I don't agree with what the Shogun does. However. I've seen this cycle time and time again unfortunately. He'll move on from Cloud soon enough."

Clenching his fist Zack shook his head. He understood what his mentor was saying. Honestly he did, and he knew Angeal meant no ill will towards Cloud. He was just being realistic, and the fact of it was that this sort of thing happened. They were all aware of it, but now that it was somebody that they knew...it seemed to put a whole new perspective on it. And while there may have been downfalls and danger to try to take Cloud away from the situation...doing nothing at all seemed far worse in Zack's opinion. There was no way they were just going to "wait it out." The Shogun had already touched Cloud one time too many and Zack would be damned if he would sit idly by and let him hurt him again.

"That's not good enough," Zack finally replied.

"It could mean your position if they ever found out you aided in this," Angeal continued.

Zack was aware of that. If for some reason they did get caught and they saw that Zack was helping they could easily make up something bogus and say that it was kidnapping or abduction. And since Cloud was the Chamberlains son the punishment would be more severe. They could easily take away his position as Samurai, he would be disgraced and not allowed to ever set foot back in the castle, possibly even Edo. And if that happened...he really wouldn't be able to see Cloud again. But even so...

"I know," Zack responded, "that's why I've got to think this through carefully."

It didn't take them much longer before they were arriving back at Angeal's. Zack quickly made his way into the living room and a warm smile touched his lips when he saw a mess of blond spikes and tired blue eyes. It looked as if Cloud had just woken up, which he was glad for. He had been worried that he wouldn't have gotten any sleep at all and he knew that he needed it.

"Hey," Zack said while taking up a seat beside him.

"Hi," Cloud replied while returning the smile partially.

"Did you just wake up?" Zack asked with a bit of a laugh while running his hands through the messy golden spikes.

"Yeah," Cloud said with a yawn to confirm his statement. He started to fold up the blanket that was around him and Zack kissed him on the top of his head. Just in little moments like these Zack really understood how precious Cloud was to him, and it only reaffirmed that he would do anything, absolutely _anything_ to keep him safe.

Angeal gave a brief smile before shaking his head and going into the kitchen. He wasn't going to try to argue with Zack anymore and try to get him to change his mind. He knew it was only futile. Besides, it was that loyalty, drive and consideration that made Angeal respect the younger man.

"So," Zack started carefully, "it looks as if your dad already mentioned that you hadn't come home last night."

Cloud's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak but Zack quickly cut in.

"It should be fine for now," Zack assured him, "but we don't want to wait around too much longer. They'll probably start having people search for you."

"What do you mean wait around too much longer?" Cloud asked in confusion.

"I mean...I think you need to leave here," Zack explained, "we need to get you out of the castle."

"What?" Cloud asked in surprise while searching blue eyes, "Zack that's...that's jsut not possible though I-"

"Of course it is," Zack pushed, "Cloud all of the problems are here, in these castle walls. If we take you away from the people and the situation...it's the only thing to make sure you're safe."

"Well yeah but..." Cloud started before letting his gaze drift away. Leave the castle? Where would he go? He was just a kid, he couldn't make it out there on his own! And what about his family? Maybe not so much his dad but his mom. What would she do if he just never went back home? She would worry herself sick thinking the worst had happened to him, and he couldn't put her through that. She didn't deserve it. But then again he knew Zack was right. He couldn't hide out at Angeal's forever, they would find him too quickly and he would be sent back home. And there he would face his father's wrath and probably be sent to the Shogun's bed chambers shortly there after. He couldn't live like that.

"Cloud," Zack tried again while gently cupping Cloud's cheek, "I know it's a bit scary but...I think it's the best way. With you staying here I can't look out for you the way I want," Zack admitted with a guilty look on his face, "with your father separating us it's almost impossible. My hands are tied in so many ways. I just want to make sure you're safe."

"Zack," Cloud said softly. He knew since Zack had found out the truth about what happened he had been so hard on himself. He was blaming himself for not protecting Cloud, for not being able to shield him from this but it wasn't his fault. With all of the thoughts that had run through Cloud's mind after that horrific night, not once, _once_, did he ever get angry or mad at Zack and blame him for it. Why would he? It wasn't his fault, he didn't know, he wasn't around. And that was what the Shogun wanted. The man was smart and that was why he had Saito split them apart. It was all apart of his twisted little scheme.

Leaning his forehead against the Samurai's he let out a sigh. It seemed as if those really were his only two options. Leave the castle or stay in the castle. Staying meant a world of torment, and leaving meant...well, just uncertainty.

Entering back into the living room Angeal set a pot of tea on the table and filled each of the small cups. Cloud said a quiet thank you as he picked up the small cup of the steaming liquid.

"I don't want to constantly keep pointing out the negative," Angeal began while lifting the cup to his lips. "But Cloud, if you leave you won't be able to come back. If they think that you ran away your father would be adamant to disown you. It would bring disgrace upon your family. So if you leave...it's for good."

Staring at Angeal with wide eyes Cloud gave a broken nod. He knew he was right. He would never be able to just waltz back in and expect things to be okay. If he left he would forever be out there...alone.

"Maybe...there's another way," Cloud replied after a moment of contemplation, "I mean I wouldn't be able to go out on my own like that and expect to-"

"What?" Zack asked while setting down his cup. "You think I'm going to just throw you out there and tell you to fend for yourself?" Laughing slightly he ran his hands through his hair before taking Cloud's free hand in his, "I'm going to be with you, I won't leave you."

Cloud's heart swelled at that and he started to feel a bit hopeful before Angeal gave a groan of disapproval.

"Now I really am against this," he said with a heavy sigh and rubbing his temples. "They would definitely look for you at that rate. Both of you, and the results would not be pretty."

"Angeal," Zack started but Angeal was having none of it.

"Believe me Zack," he started seriously, his eyes boring directly into his pupils. "I'm not saying all of this to be difficult, I'm saying it because I don't want any harm to come to you. If both you and Cloud disappear they'll know that the two of you went off together. And word of "the Samurai and the Chamberlains son" running off together would spread in an instant," pouring himself some more tea he continued. "And at that point they would try very hard to find you, and when they did Cloud's safety isn't the one I would be worrying about. He would just be returned, but what about you?"

"Zack?" Cloud asked while turning his gaze back onto the Samurai who was now looking away at nothing in particular. Was that true? If they did find them...would Zack's life be in jeopardy? Since Cloud was the son of a council member his status was technically higher than Zack, and for that reason they probably wouldn't think twice to hurt him.

When Zack didn't respond Cloud quickly shook his head, he wasn't going to go through with that plan when there was so much at stake.

"I won't do that," Cloud stated and Zack let out a sigh.

"Cloud that's a big what if. It'll be fine if-"

"I won't do that!" Cloud repeated, "I'm not going to take any chance of you getting hurt because of me."

Nobody said a word after that and the room was once again draped in silence. They all continued with their drinks, each lost in thoughts of their own. But the air and the whole situation started to get to Cloud and he just needed to get away for a minute. He knew at this point that he couldn't actually leave Angeal's, but he just needed a little space.

Standing to his feet he placed the blanket that he had folded earlier beside one of the seats.

"Excuse me Angeal, would it be okay if I used your bath?"

"Of course," the man replied and Cloud was already quickly scurrying down the hall. With all of the tension and stress that he had been in within the last day soaking in a hot bath sounded like a good idea.

* * *

Staring up at the ceiling blankly Zack thought back to Angeal's words. The man was wiser than he was, and in hindsight Zack realized that he had probably not completely thought through his plan on getting Cloud away from the castle. And he definitely didn't want to put Cloud in anymore stressful situations. The last thing he needed was to add to his worries.

Angeal had left out again to take care of some other things but had told Zack not to worry about whatever he had lined up for the day. He just needed to take the time to figure out what to do and to keep an eye on Cloud.

Pulling himself up to a sitting position he glanced down the hall. Cloud had been in there for a long time now it seemed. Deciding to check on him he rose to his feet and made his way down the narrow hallway. The last room on the left was the bath and he stopped in front of it and tapped on the door lightly.

"Cloud?" He asked. When he was greeted with more silence he tapped on the door once more. There still wasn't a response and he suddenly felt as if something were wrong. Quickly pulling open the door he squinted through the steam before his eyes landed on the large circular tub in the center. He saw the back of Cloud's head and his shoulders and the rest was submerged under the water.

"Cloud?" He asked again as he neared closer, and now he could see that his shoulders were slightly shaking. Once he had come right beside the tub he saw Cloud's palms pressed to his eyes and he could hear him quietly sobbing.

Not saying anything else Zack knelt down beside the tub and wrapped his arms around Cloud's shoulders. They stayed that way for a while, not saying any words at all as Zack continued to hold him as he cried. Pulling one of his hands away from his eyes Cloud placed it over Zack's who quickly grasped his fingers.

There was no point that Zack saw to ask Cloud what was wrong, why he was crying. Those were questions that he had continually asked before he knew what happened. But now that he knew...he didn't need to question anything further. What Cloud was going through he could only imagine but he would never really know. He hurt because Cloud hurt, but he wasn't the one in the position. He would never truly know, and for that reason he would never understand the actual meaning behind the tears. But the one thing he did know was that he was there with him now...and he wasn't going to let Cloud go through it alone, not anymore. He would comfort him as best as he could, and from this point on he was going to protect him at any cause. He was going to make sure that one day these tears _did_ stop, that the pain he felt now would eventually go away. It wasn't something that would happen over night he knew, but he promised himself that he would make sure Cloud was happy again.

* * *

**Authors Note:** And here is Chapter 15! Wow I know it is far overdue, but I've recently come to this conclusion and that is...that I fail at computers! New or old, I always seem to have some sort of issue with them! And then when I did try to post this chap the other day was having some issues. I can never win! But anyways! I tried to make this a nice length chapter to make up for it's lateness. It heavily consisted of Cloud finally telling Zack what was going on...although I didn't want to go into much detail about that, because I didn't think it would be believable for Cloud to honestly say more than he did. I also didn't want to put too much romance or anything of that kind between Zack and Cloud at this point. It just doesn't seem appropriate at this time ( I know people want Zack/Cloud kisses and stuff ^^) And I wanted to give Cloud one big final breakdown. With his father being added into the mix I thought it would be even more challenging for him to cope with. Anyways, now that Zack finally knows what happened the story will be taking a change. Please read and review and I will sincerely try to have the next chapter out much more sooner. Until next time!


	16. Phantom

_Stepping up to the door Zack shifted the medium size box under his arm before lifting his free hand to knock. There was the sound of footsteps nearing followed by a voice saying "one moment." The footsteps came to a stop and the door was slid open revealing a small blond with bright blue eyes. Zack couldn't help but to allow a smile to appear on his face at the sight of the other. All it took was one look from his friend and he was full of smiles, whether he wanted to or not._

_ "Hey," Cloud spoke with a smile of his own as he opened the door more. "I thought I wouldn't see you at all today, didn't you say Angeal wanted you to go with him on some errand?" _

_ "Yeah but Kunsel went along so I asked if I could stay behind," Zack explained, "you're moving tomorrow so...I wanted to see you."_

_ Dropping his gaze downwards briefly Cloud felt a small blush come to his cheeks before stepping aside and motioning for the other to come inside._

_ "Looks as if you guys pretty much have everything packed," Zack added once he looked the place over and noticed the bare look. It was a bit strange to see the home in such a state however. He had been to this home so many times, it was like his second home in fact, so to see it basically empty tugged at his heart in a way he couldn't really explain._

_ "Yeah," Cloud replied while sliding the front door closed. "My mom went to the market to get some more things to pack up the remainder. And my dad is at the castle already, he won't be back until tomorrow for the move."_

_ Nodding Zack shifted the box he was holding once more and it was then that Cloud really noticed that he was even holding something._

_ "What's that?" Cloud asked while starting to walk towards his room with Zack right behind him._

_ "Oh this," Zack started, "I uh, just thought I could help you pack some of your last things." _

_ Giving his friend an odd look Cloud laughed a bit. "My room is basically done, remember you helped me?"_

_ "That's right," Zack said with a grin while setting the box down on the floor in Cloud's room. Boxes filled the room and a few scattered sketches littered the floor. There was a blanket spread out on the floor and Cloud took a seat on it before Zack did the same._

_ Pushing the box over to Cloud he leaned back and smiled as he watched the blond's confused expression._

_ "Just open it," Zack said, not offering any more of an explanation._

_ Giving Zack one last questioning look Cloud started to pull the red ribbon that was secured around the box. He heard a tiny almost inaudible sound come from within the box and he stopped his movements momentarily._

_ Zack let out a chuckle before shushing whatever it was in the box._

_ It was at that moment when a tiny white paw poked out from one of the little holes in the box._

_ Cloud let out a shocked gasp before he was quickly undoing the ribbon and carefully taking the lid off of the box. And there looking up at him with wide eyes was an orange and white kitten, meowing and glancing around at it's surroundings._

_ "Zack," Cloud started with a smile while reaching in and pulling out the small, soft kitten. It nibbled on his fingers for a moment before craning its neck and trying to bite at a stray blond lock._

_ "Cute huh?" Zack asked while reaching out to pet the kitten on the head._

_ "He's too cute," Cloud said with a small laugh while pulling the kitten away from his hair._

_ "She," Zack corrected, "I thought you would like her."_

_ "I love her," Cloud replied while looking back up to the other, "thank you."_

_ Nodding Zack smiled, "this way you'll always have some company in the castle. You know...when im not around."_

_ Cloud's smile fell for a moment, but then reappeared...in a bit of a sad way. He hugged the kitten close to him for a second before setting her down on the floor where she quickly began to explore the room on slightly wobbly legs. Both Zack and Cloud laughed as they watched her prance around, biting and nibbling on objects and rolling about the floor. It seemed as if she was having a great time._

_ "She'll definitely keep me company," Cloud said with a laugh._

_ "I'm glad," Zack replied, his heart seeming to skip a beat just from the sound of Cloud's genuine laughter. Ever since he had learned that his family was moving into the Castle Cloud had been more than a little down. And while he still laughed and smiled, it always had an underlying of sadness. And Zack didn't like it, he always wanted his friend to be happy and if there was something he could do to make that happen then by all means he was going to. _

_ "But," Cloud started softly while letting his eyes travel from the kitten to Zack, "don't think that this means that I still don't expect you to visit."_

_ "Are you kidding?" Zack asked with a raised eyebrow, "Cloud I told you, you couldn't get rid of me even if you tried. I'll visit you every chance I get...I promise." _

_ And then, without warning or any hesitation at all, Cloud leaned forward and placed a kiss against Zack's cheek. It wasn't for long, just a quick peck. It was something innocent and nothing more than a love for a friend being being displayed. But to Zack...that kiss, was everything. That kiss just reaffirmed his feelings for his friend. It was with that that the Samurai knew Cloud had his heart and forever would. Nobody else would do, only Cloud. He wanted him and only him. And the thought of that never happening, the thought of Cloud being in someone else's arms...it was unbearable. He couldn't let that happen...he had to tell Cloud how he felt._

_ "She's so hyper," Cloud said, already focusing his attention back on the kitten and watching her run around the room. _

_ "She is," Zack said, although his mind was racing from that small kiss still. "What are you going to name her?"_

_ There was a silence that fell over the room for a bit before Cloud was speaking up._

_ "Tama," he said while tapping the floor trying to grab the kittens attention._

_ "Tama...I like it," Zack said while lying back on the blanket and looking towards Tama who now was chasing a piece of string that Cloud had found. He watched the playful site before him with a smile. More than a few times he thought that it would be the perfect time to tell Cloud how he felt about him. But with the way the evening was going, and the good feeling in the air, he couldn't ruin that. No, not now. Not when his best friend was moving away the next day. He wouldn't put any further stress on Cloud. He just wanted him to be happy, and for the moment he was...and that was most important._

* * *

Giving a bit of a stretch Zack sighed as he stood outside the tea house waiting for his friends to exit as well. He, Kunsel and Reno had gone out for a few drinks, and while he didn't particularly feel up to going his friends had talked him into it. Kunsel saying that he needed to get his mind off things. By this point the whole castle knew of Cloud's disappearance and his friends were afraid that Zack wouldn't deal well with it. Although they didn't know that Zack was very much aware of Cloud's whereabouts. He was safe, still staying at Angeal's. Away from harm, away from his father and the Shogun. And while it wasn't a permanent solution it was still far better than sending him back home. And until the Samurai perfected his plan on getting Cloud away from the castle it would have to do.

He still went through his daily routine but more times than not he went back to Angeal's instead of going home. It wasn't anything to draw suspicion however, Angeal was his mentor and with things being so busy it only made sense for him to stay nearby in the castle. Even if the reality was that he stayed there to be near Cloud, there was no way that he would chance being away from his boyfriend again. No, not at all. If anything or anyone even dared to hurt him Zack was going to make sure that he was there.

The sound of something hitting the ground caught Zack's attention and he glanced over to see what it was. He saw a woman kneeling down and picking up some items that had fallen out of her shopping bag. It was dark out by this point but he still could make out the small frame, and catch a hint of her light hair that was illuminated by the moonlight.

Slowly approaching the woman so as not to alarm her he knelt down beside her.

"Let me help you," he spoke gently while reaching out and picking up the items.

"Oh," she started softly while picking up the bag and stuffing the various items inside, "thank you."

She hadn't glanced up to meet his gaze, but now that he was closer he definitely could tell who it was.

"Auntie," he said while ceasing his movement for a moment. The woman glanced up finally, letting tired blue eyes fall onto the man before her.

"Zack?" She said in slight shock before a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips, "I'm so sorry sweetie, I didn't realize it was you."

"It's alright," Zack said with a smile while continuing to help pick up the last few things. He took the bag into his arms before extending his hand to help her up. "What are you doing out so late?"

"Oh," Natsumi began while dusting off her kimono slightly, "I needed to get a few things for dinner tonight. I guess time just got away from me."

Give a small nod Zack narrowed his eyes briefly. There was something different about this woman. She was always so cheerful, full of smiles and bright eyes. Laughing and chatting away. And now...the look in her eyes was dull, and while she did have a smile on her face it was a bit forced and sad,easily able to tell that it wasn't genuine. The cheerful aura that usually radiated off of her was altogether gone. And while he may have wondered what was wrong in any other case, he clearly knew the reason now. Cloud. She didn't know where he was, or what happened. It had been a few weeks since he had disappeared and Zack could only imagine what kind of torment that must've been for a mother. Seeing her this way now, he wished that he could tell her that Cloud was alright. That he knew where he was, that he was _safe._ But...he couldn't. Cloud's safety meant the most to him and if that meant that he had to keep the truth away from even Natsumi then he would. Even if it did pain him to do so.

"Well let me walk you back home," Zack said just as Reno and Kunsel had stepped out of the tea house, apparently finishing off their last round of drinks.

"Oh I'll be fine sweetie, you stay with your friends," Natsumi explained while reaching for her bag only to have Zack pull it away.

"I insist Auntie," Zack replied while glancing towards the two, "I'll catch you two tomorrow."

Not even bothering to question Zack and seeming to quickly understand, both Reno and Kunsel nodded before waving and saying their byes to both he and Natsumi.

Giving a brief laugh Natsumi lifted a delicate hand and brushed some stray strands of blond hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear.

"I shouldn't have expected anything less from you," Natsumi spoke while reaching out and giving Zack's arm a brief squeeze. "How have you been sweetie? I miss not seeing you as often as I used to."

"I've been alright," Zack replied, even if there was only half truth in that statement. "How about you?" He asked hesitantly as they began to walk through the quiet streets of the town.

"As good as anyone could be in my situation I guess," she spoke softly before letting out a sigh, "although Saito tells me not to worry...I don't see how I couldn't."

_'Saito tells me not to worry.'_ Zack couldn't help but to frown inwardly at that. Why was Saito so calm about Cloud's disappearance? After all he wasn't aware of his whereabouts and was just as much in the dark as Natsumi. Was he only trying to appear as if everything was okay so as to calm Natsumi's worries? Or did he...just not care?

Zack had to admit that the idea had crossed his mind a few times. Especially since learning that Saito was the one who had agreed to let the Shogun be with Cloud. Whether he had made that decision to secure his position on the council or not it hardly mattered. There was no reason that Zack could find in his mind that would make that okay for a father to do to their own son. It was just completely and utterly...despicable.

"But I know that the Shogun has put the castle on high alert and that they are searching for Cloud, so I guess Saito is right," Natsumi continued to explain.

"He'll be okay Auntie," Zack assured her.

_'I don't know if that means you'll be able to see him again...but I do promise you that he will be safe.'_

* * *

Looking out of the window to the courtyard below Cloud spotted a few Samurai chatting amongst themselves. He thought that maybe Zack was there but he didn't catch sight of the spiky dark hair of the man. Frowning slightly he shifted his gaze to the sky, it was a pretty clear night and he didn't see many if any stars at all. However the moon was full and bright. It seemed to be a nice night out, just a little cool breeze wafted in through the window and he wished he were out there rather than inside. But he knew he couldn't do that.

Angeal had been gone all day and only came back once to bring dinner and then he was heading out again. Cloud didn't ask him where he was going, being the head of the Samurai meant Angeal was a busy man. He felt a little bad about "cramping his space" at the beginning but it seemed as if Angeal was never really home anyways except at night to sleep.

The sound of scratching at the front door caught Cloud's attention and he looked towards the entrance.

"Mizu," he called, gaining a reply of a quiet meow. He smiled a bit to himself before hopping off the windowsill to search for the cat. It was actually a surprise to him when he discovered that Angeal owned a pet. He had never seen the cat before in the previous times he had been there, but Angeal had explained to him that Mizu usually hid out in his room and wasn't very comfortable around strangers and tended to shy away. But seeing as how he and Zack had to be away so much Angeal thought it would be a good idea to bring the cat around Cloud more often. And it was sort of nice to the blond actually, Mizu reminded him of Tama at times and it reminded him of home. Even if home didn't sound too appealing now, it was a strange type of comfort.

The little meow continued as did the scratching and Cloud called out to the cat a few times. He had just gotten to the front of the hall that lead down to the entrance when he saw the gray and white cat pushing its way through the slightly open door.

"Mizu!" Cloud cried while rushing over to the door trying to grab hold of the cat before it slipped all the way through the door. But he wasn't fast enough and Mizu had wiggled his way out of the small opening in the door.

_'Why is the door open? Angeal must've not have closed it all the way when he left out again.'_

Peeking through the slightly open door Cloud looked to his left and to his right. About three feet away Mizu was casually walking further into the corridor.

"Mizu," Cloud said softly while tapping the floor gently with his fingers. "Come here kitty, come back."

He received a flick of the cats tail before it turned and glanced back at him boredly and then he continued trotting down the hall.

"Mizu!" Cloud said a bit more loudly while pulling open the door a little wider. He could just run out really quickly and grab the cat right? He hadn't stepped foot out of Angeal's home ever since that night he had came there. And he knew that security was high around the castle now and he couldn't chance the risk of being seen. But he couldn't lose Angeal's cat!

"Mizu," he tried once more. The cat was now at the end of the short corridor and had laid down near the wall at the end.

Glancing down the hall and seeing that it seemed quiet and clear Cloud quickly but quietly made his way down the hall. Once he reached the end he reached down to pick up Mizu who gave a soft meow and gently batted at his hand with a paw.

"Shh," Cloud started while holding the cat in his arms and preparing to rush back inside the home. But Mizu wiggled out of his arms and started trotting back down the hall.

Cloud wanted to shout after the cat but he knew that would only scare him, so he quickly followed after the animal, but came to an abrupt stop when someone rounded the corner. Blue eyes widened and he sucked in a breath before taking a hesitant step back.

The man stopped once the cat reached him, stopping at his feet and circling around his leg while giving another meow. He reached down to pick up the cat and pet it gently behind its ears before shifting his gaze to the blonde.

"Forgive me," Cloud said after letting out his breath and giving a bow, "I'm in a rush, if you could just give him back to me please."

"Chamberlain Saito's son," the man said while narrowing jade eyes, "I didn't expect to see you here."

_'So he does remember me,'_ Cloud though to himself before silently cursing. The man knew he was Saito's son, he knew that they were looking for him...and now he had found him. What was he going to do?

Without thinking Cloud quickly turned around and ran down the hall back to Angeal's. Once he stepped inside he slid the door closed before running his hands through his hair.

_'What am I going to do, what am I going to do?' _

He wasn't going to go back home! He wasn't, he couldn't! How did he get himself into this mess?

There was a gentle knock on the door and Cloud jumped, although he really shouldn't have been surprised. He _had _just ran away from General Sephiroth after all. He didn't answer and simply just stared at the door, as if that would somehow magically make the man disappear, make him forget that he hadn't just seen the blond dash inside moments ago.

After a brief silence and still no answer Sephiroth slid open the door himself with his free hand, still holding the cat in the other.

"You forgot Mizu," the man explained calmly while setting the cat on the floor and

shutting the door behind him.

"Oh I...well thank you for returning him," Cloud said softly while keeping his gaze downwards.

"Hmm. That cat always was one to run off," Sephiroth began while crossing his arms over his chest. "Where is Angeal?"

"Out," Cloud replied quickly before shaking his hear, "where exactly I'm not sure though."

Not saying anything Sephiroth took a few more steps into the home, causing Cloud to step aside and watch the other with hesitant and unsure eyes.

"You've been staying here?" The General asked while entering the living room.

Cloud was silent for a moment as he carefully walked into the living room, stopping as soon as he stepped foot into it.

"Yes," he finally replied before twining his fingers together nervously.

Sephiroth gave a bit of a hmm before making his way over to the window and peering out of it. The gentle night breeze wafted in through the partially open window causing a few long strands of silver hair to move delicately. It was something that probably wouldn't have been attention grasping, but for some reason just that simple movement had Cloud transfixed.

"The whole castle has been alerted of your disappearance," the man explained, "if anyone was to come across you they are to see you escorted safely back home. That is the wish of the Shogun."

"Please!" Cloud quickly blurted with a bow,quickly snapping out of his brief trance. "Don't tell anyone you saw me here."

Turning to look back at the blond Cloud dropped his gaze. Narrowing his eyes at the boy Sephiroth tilted his head slightly.

"Why would Angeal allow you to stay here?"

"That's..." Cloud began softly._ 'Such a long story.'_

When Cloud didn't continue on Sephiroth took a step away from the window causing Cloud to look back at him with uncertainty. What was Sephiroth thinking? Was he going to return him back to his home? In all honesty he wasn't sure what this man would do, he didn't know him personally and had only met him once before. And even then their meeting was brief.

"You're not Samurai," Sephiroth began while looking down at the boy who appeared to be scared and a bit nervous.

"No," Cloud quickly replied with a shake of his head. "I'm just...a student."

"How are you acquainted with Angeal then?" Sephiroth asked, "a council members child shouldn't be in close proximity such as this with a Samurai."

"Yes I know," Cloud said while dropping his gaze once more. "But I..."

A slender finger was placed under the blond's chin tipping it upward and causing his eyes to widen more.

"Are you his lover?" The man asked, jade eyes peering directly into blue.

"No," Cloud spoke quickly.

"Hmm," Sephiroth mused, keeping his eyes on the younger one for a bit longer before pulling his hand away. "You're either lying to me or keeping something from me."

"Forgive me," Cloud said softly with another bow, "I don't mean to be difficult and I mean no disrespect. I just...I need to be here at Angeal's, and nobody can know."

"Do you realize the position you are putting Hewley in?" The General asked while crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well, I don't mean to inconvenience him but I-"

"Not that," Sephiroth began, "you being here while I'm sure may cramp his style in some regards isn't what I'm getting at. If someone else were to find you and it became evident that Angeal knew of your whereabouts all along and didn't report it or see you back home, that would only cause problems for him. Far worse than you could probably even imagine."

A guilty look appeared on the boys face and he looked away before clasping his fingers together uneasily.

"Did you not think of that?" Sephiroth asked, "While I'm not sure of the reason for you being here I do believe you that need to be grateful that Angeal is taking such a risk to provide some sort of security for you."

"I am!" Cloud cried while looking back up at the intimidating man before him, "I am very grateful to him."

"Then perhaps you should act like it and not be so careless," Sephiroth continued.

"I do act-"

"Running down the corridors chasing after cats when security is at it's highest elevation is a foolish thing to do. If you really are grateful, and do wish to remain here and make sure that Angeal doesn't come into trouble, I suggest you exercise a bit more wisdom."

Cloud felt as if he was the smallest thing in the room, or on the planet for that matter. The General was right, absolutely right. He had problems going on that was for sure, but it didn't give him the right to endanger others. Staying at Angeal's was a risk, and yet Angeal allowed it without even so much as a second thought. All the Samurai knew was that Cloud was in trouble, and he was Zack's boyfriend. And anyone who was important to Zack seemed to become important to Angeal by default. Cloud couldn't repay Angeal's kindness by getting caught because of something stupid that he did on his own. He would never forgive himself if that were to happen.

"I was careless," Cloud said softly, "I promise I won't do something like that again."

Sephiroth made a bit of a hmm sound before taking a few steps away once his eyes landed on an album of some sorts that was resting on the table in the living room.

"That cat is a bit odd at times," the General started while picking up the book, "always running out at any chance it gets. However he always makes his way back home."

_'Wish I had known that earlier,' _Cloud thought to himself before shyly letting his eyes follow after the tall man. A moment of surprise washed over him as he realized that Sephiroth had spotted his sketch book and was now browsing through it. For a moment he had the urge to run over and snatch it out of the man's hands. Contrary to what others may have thought Cloud honestly sketched for himself. He hadn't really sketched or painted anything that he felt proud enough to try to show off. It was just that he was always spotted with a sketchbook and pen in hand that made people want to see, and over time he had sort of just gotten used to people looking through his work.

"Yours I assume," Sephiroth spoke while never taking his eyes off the pages.

"Yes," Cloud replied while remaining in his spot and looking at the General questioningly.

"You're talented," was all that the other said before shutting the book and placing it back on the table.

"Thank you," Cloud said, though he wasn't as elated as he may have been before with hearing a comment like that. He hadn't sketched anything new in a long time actually and only had the book out to look through it and sort of reminisce he guessed. And there was just something about hearing a compliment now that was a bit unsettling, after all the last time he had heard those words they fell from the Shogun's mouth.

"Now that I think about it, I do recall the Shogun mentioning that Chamberlain Saito's son was a great artist," Sephiroth said while taking a seat at the table.

Cloud's stomach lurched at those words. Why on earth did the Shogun have to talk about him to other people? Why was he still on the forefront of that man's mind?

Noticing that the General had now taken a seat Cloud started to make his way into the kitchen before calling back over his shoulder. "Would you like some tea?"

"Please," the General replied, not letting Cloud's body language go unnoticed. Though it was subtle and probably wouldn't have been noticeable to someone else, Sephiroth noticed the slight jolt at the mention of the Shogun's name. His gaze wavered after he had spoken those words and he quickly exited into the kitchen.

Knitting silver eyebrows together Sephiroth kept his gaze focused in the direction of the kitchen where he heard random items tinkling and clanging about. He had sort of drawn some conclusions when it came to the small blond from their encounters. Being the son of a Council member he was obviously more than respectful when it came to his superiors, even if he appeared awkward or nervous at moments. He was a bit shy, and the way he didn't hold his gaze for long periods of time only confirmed this. A sign of insecurity? Possibly. However he was a sweet kid from what the General could see. He was what some may call "delicate." His eyes told all of his emotions, and yet held a distinct pureness. In a way, he was a breath of fresh air...

A few minutes later Cloud came out carrying a tray with a teapot and cups atop of it. Setting it down on the table gently he placed the small cups before them before filling them with hot green tea.

"Will you stay until Angeal arrives back?" Cloud couldn't help but to ask as he set the teapot down.

"I plan to," Sephiroth replied before letting cat like green eyes look into blue. "Does that bother you?"

"Not at all," Cloud replied quickly with a shake of his head as he watched the man sip his tea.

_'Zack should've been here by now. What's taking him so long? And what will happen when he does come here and the General see's?'_

"How long do you plan to stay here?" Sephiroth asked while setting down his tea cup.

"I'm not sure about that yet," Cloud replied honestly while carefully picking up his cup. Looking back to the General he wondered what the other was thinking, the man held an emotionless expression on his face and simply just replied with a "hmm." He probably thought that Cloud was nothing more than a hindrance to Angeal and wanted him to leave as soon as possible.

"How about you?" Cloud asked curiously. When he was met with silence and one thin elegant silver eyebrow raised just slightly Cloud shook his head. "I mean from Edo...are you leaving again? Or are you here to stay?"

"I never left Edo with the intent of staying away," the General explained.

"So then...where were you all this time?" Cloud asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.

Picking up his cup of tea, a faint smirk crossed the General's features. "You're quite the curious one."

"Forgive me," Cloud instantly replied while inwardly scolding himself. "I didn't mean to pry."

"Don't worry yourself about it," Sephiroth spoke, all traces of his smirk faded away by now.

Cloud nodded as he watched the man across from him. He found himself staring at his long silvery hair again, there was just something about it that fascinated him. It appeared to almost glow laying against his black kimono, the strands a stark contrast against the dark material. His pale skin almost gave off the same effect. Cloud always thought he himself was pale, especially when next to Zack. His skin always had a natural golden hue to it, but Cloud's never. And for that reason when he blushed it was always very noticeable. But now with looking at Sephiroth, he thought otherwise. The General's skin was like porcelain, and those jade eyes of his stood out immensely. Not only because of their striking color but because of the dark lashes that framed them. There was no denying that the man was beautiful, Cloud thought perhaps it was the artistic side of him that made him more aware of it.

And while the man was beautiful it definitely didn't mean he wasn't intimidating. His presence alone exuded confidence and strength, whether when he was standing his full height or sitting down at a table like he was now. Cloud knew that inside the other was a sheer strength that he couldn't even possibly imagine. There was a reason why this man was the General and was a living legend.

The sound of the front door sliding open caught their attention and they both looked over to the threshold to see Angeal step in as he made his way down the hall into the living room.

"Sephiroth," he began while looking over to Cloud questioningly.

"Welcome back," the General spoke while rising from his seat.

Cloud rose as well, not really sure why but feeling that he should in the presence of the General and his second.

"Is it only you two here?" Angeal asked while keeping his gaze on Cloud. He understood that Angeal was really questioning if Zack was there or not.

"Yes," Cloud replied and the Samurai gave a brief nod before looking back to the General.

"Let's talk," Angeal said while patting Sephiroth on the back a few times. "We can go in the den. You'll excuse us won't you Cloud?"

"Of course," Cloud said with a nod, all the while slightly panicking about what they would talk about. Was Angeal going to tell him the true reason for him being there? He didn't want anyone else knowing his deep, dark, shameful secret.

* * *

**Authors Notes: I so fail at the massively long break for updating! I'm so sorry everyone! And I know this chapter was much much shorter than usual, but I wanted to post it just to show you guys that I haven't abandoned nor forgotten about this story! It is still very much alive and I am getting back on track with the regular updates as of now! We'll call this the tie over chapter. I needed to bring Sephiroth in and get him reaqquainted with Cloud as he is very essential to the story! I promise the next chapter will be longer. So if anyone is still reading this fic thanks so much for your patience and I hope you haven't given up on me or the story! Until next time!**


	17. Loveless

Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters.

Note: This chapter follows exactly after 16 with Angeal and Seph and rotates with flashback sequences. Flashbacks are in italics.

* * *

Jade eyes scanned the darkened room as the General stepped inside with Angeal right behind. He slid the door closed before crossing the space and beginning to light the lanterns.

"I'm surprised to see you here tonight," Angeal began as Sephiroth took a seat at the dark cherry wood table in the center of the room, "you've been quite busy lately."

"As have you," Sephiroth replied before shaking his head gently, "though I can always make a little time to visit a friend."

Letting out a small laugh Angeal walked over to a tall cabinet and pulled open the doors. "I saw that you had tea but have a real drink with me," he explained while taking out a bottle of his finest sake.

"I'd be happy too," Sephiroth spoke as Angeal took up a seat across the table from him and began to pour them each a cup of the strong alcohol. He slid the cup over to Sephiroth before setting down the bottle. He let his eyes study his friend briefly before taking a sip of his drink.

"I can see you have things you want to say," Angeal started.

Setting down his cup Sephiroth returned the man's gaze. "I do...or rather questions. However I'm sure you are aware of what they are."

Nodding Angeal let out a brief sigh, "Well...I didn't intend on letting anyone know that Cloud was staying here. But since you've found out, I'll ask that you keep it secret."

"Angeal," Sephiroth started quickly, "He's the Chamberlains son. You're putting yourself in a dangerous spot."

"I know," Angeal said while reaching for his cup and letting his eyes drift towards the table, "but I'm willing to take the risk."

Pausing briefly Sephiroth narrowed his eyes. "Who is he?"

Glancing back up Angeal raised an eyebrow, "you just said it yourself, he's the Chamberlains son."

"No," Sephiroth began with a shake of his head, "I mean who is he to you? Why is he so important to you that you're willing to take such a risk?"

Once he properly understood the question Angeal became quiet. He didn't really want to divulge so much information. For the sake of Cloud's privacy and Zack's protectiveness really. However Sephiroth was his closest friend, and he knew that he wouldn't say anything about the situation if he were to know.

"He's Zack's...special someone,"Angeal explained carefully after a moment of contemplation.

"Zackary?" Sephiroth asked while furrowing his eyebrows slightly.

"Yes," Angeal replied.

Sephiroth didn't need to question anymore about that, he knew that Angeal's pupil was very important to him.

"And so? Why is he here?"

"He's in a bit of trouble," Angeal continued, "and so...until things clear up or until some other means of a solution present themselves, he'll remain here."

Sephiroth actually scoffed at that and Angeal gave him a bit of a confused look.

"Trouble," Sephiroth repeated, "I imagine the trouble that he is in isn't that severe. A fight with his parents at home? So now he's running away? Honestly, the kids of the Council Members now."

"No," Angeal started immediately after, "It's not that at all...it's...the Shogun."

_'The Shogun.'_

No more words really needed to be said after that. From Angeal explaining that Cloud was in trouble...and then tying the Shogun into it...well it pretty much was laid out in black and white at that point. A far away look was present in Sephiroth's eyes and Angeal sighed while placing his elbows on the table and clasping his hands together.

"I want to help him and Zack if I can, in any way...I don't want a repeat of the past."

"I thought you didn't believe that," Sephiroth replied quietly while focusing his eyes on the table.

"I don't know what to believe," Angeal started, "but I won't take that chance...of losing anyone else that I care about."

"You do know what to believe," Sephiroth said while rising from his seat, "you just choose not to."

"Sephiroth," Angeal began while watching the other cross the room before stopping at the window.

Lifting up a hand to silence his friend Sephiorth shook his head. "Even after years we still disagree on this."

"I just..." Angeal spoke gently as he rested his chin on his fist.

"Your denial insults Gen's memory," Sephiroth said lowly while gazing out the window at the night sky.

Angeal frowned at those words. He had heard them from Sephiroth before and he hated it. Although he knew that the other was right, deep down he knew that he was right. But...

"I can't accept that he never told me..."

* * *

_"They really put us through the ringer today,"_ _Angeal said with a wince as they exited the dojo._

_ "It wasn't so bad," Sephiroth replied before Angeal jokingly punched him in the arm._

_ "Show off," he murmured with a grin. Sephiroth returned the playful punch a little more forcefully which caused Angeal to let out a cry of pain and made Sephiroth chuckle._

_ "What are you doing?" A voice asked._

_ Turning to glance over his shoulder Sephiroth narrowed his eyes slightly at the auburn haired boy._

_ "Don't hit him," the boy snapped while glaring at the other._

_ "Gen what are you doing here?" Angeal asked while stepping closer to the smaller one._

_ "Coming to find you, you should've been back an hour ago," he explained while crossing his arms over his chest._

_ "Oh sorry, I guess training went a little longer than usual," Angeal explained while brushing some stray locks of auburn away from the boys face who batted away his hand. Angeal laughed before looking back to Sephiroth._

_ "Seph this is my little brother Genesis," Angeal spoke while Sephiroth directed his focus onto the boy who was still glaring at him._

_ "Don't hit my brother again," Genesis warned while Angeal shushed him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders._

_ "Sephiroth is a student in my class, he's training to be Samurai like me," Angeal explained, trying to remove the glare from the others face._

_ Sephiroth on the other other hand dismissed Genesis glare and warning and instead bowed towards him._

_ "It's an honor to meet you Genesis, Angeal's told me a lot about you," he said while lifting green eyes to meet blue._

_ Genesis held his gaze for a moment but didn't return the bow immediately. It wasn't until Angeal smacked him on the back that he did._

_ "Forgive me," Genesis spoke, "my brother didn't really tell me about the student's who are training with him." _

_ "It's quite alright," Sephiroth replied before Angeal was chiming in._

_ "Don't mind him, he can be a bit of a brat," the raven haired one joked as Genesis pushed him away._

_ Sephiroth couldn't help but to allow a small, but still visible smile to spread across his face. The way the two interacted it was obvious to tell that they were close, even if they did tease each other. In a way Sephiroth was envious of it. He didn't have anyone in his life who he was even remotely close to. Both of his parents were gone, his mother had died when he was very young from illness and his father had abandoned him shortly thereafter. His aunt and uncle had taken him in but he never felt any real closeness with them. He respected them immensely but he always felt as if he were a burden to them, and they didn't have children of their own so he had no others around his age to speak to. And while he was growing up he didn't tend to make many friends, mostly because he didn't feel the need to. He distanced himself. In all honesty he loved the solidarity, but at times...like now...he wished that he did have a close friend or sibling._

_ "Well since you've found me I guess we should head back for lunch," Angeal explained to the smaller boy before turning his gaze towards Sephiroth. "Want to join us?" _

_ "Oh...no thank you," Sephiroth spoke up after shaking his head slightly to rid his thoughts, "I wouldn't want to impose."_

_ "Impose?" Angeal asked with a tilt of his head, "it can't be imposing if I just invited you. Come on, my mom cooks a lot. There will be more than enough."_

_ Still wanting to decline to some degree but also not wanting to be rude Sephiroth hesitated. He knew that Angeal resided in the castle and he hadn't actually been there before. Sure he had seen the outside but he had never stepped foot inside and he was sort of nervous about how he would be perceived there. He wasn't yet Samurai, he was still just...a nobody. But he didn't have much time to think about it seeing as how Angeal and Genesis had already started to walk and Angeal was giving him a playful shove to get him moving._

_ And so basically, you could say that was where it all began. From that day on the threes friendship grew and became stronger. And over that time they had all learned the insides and outs of each of their lives. Sephiroth had learned all about Angeal and Genesis and their past. He had found out that Genesis wasn't in fact Angeal's actual biological brother, but that they had grown up together ever since they were just babies and their two families were very close. They had been together all of their lives and were family in that regard. He had also discovered that Genesis had a bit of a health problem. Ever since he was little he tended to get sick easily, he described it as "low level immunity." He would catch colds and things of that nature far more often than your average person. It was something that obviously annoyed him because it made his parents worry over him so much and he didn't like it. It was also the reason why he wasn't allowed to participate in training to become Samurai. He wasn't "physically healthy" and so they wouldn't allow it. That and his parents wouldn't tolerate it. It was something that he wanted to do, but he understood why he couldn't. But that never made him envious of Angeal or Sephiroth in anyway. He was proud that his brother and friend were Samurai. And it left opportunity for him to pursue his other passion with literature. He always had his nose in a book, things of a philosophical nature, poetry or dramatic plays. He said that words were the most powerful thing in the universe, deadlier than any blade and lovelier than the finest silk. _

_ Sephiroth thought his friends passion was intriguing...but that wasn't the only thing. Over the years his feelings for Genesis changed. He felt himself being drawn to him in a way that he never had before. His smile left him breathless and when their eyes locked he always felt flustered, and just a simple touch made his heart race. It wasn't too much longer that Sephiroth realized that he had fallen in love with him. And telling Genesis how he felt was the first time he had genuinely ever been scared of anything. He wasn't good with words like Genesis and felt completely vulnerable with attempting his confession. Thankfully Genesis was able to understand him with his clumsy words and he gave him a smile that Sephiroth would never forget._

_ "It took you long enough," Genesis said softly before leaning in to press a gentle kiss on the Samurai's lips..._

* * *

Closing his eyes Sephiroth shook his head. "He told you enough...we knew enough."

"No," Angeal replied while downing the rest of his sake as he felt frustration begin to rise within him. "He hid it from me," he explained while reaching for the sake bottle again to refill his drink.

"That may be true but..." Sephiroth started while opening his eyes and turning around to face his friend.

"But nothing,"Angeal replied with an unfocused look in his eyes, "he always told me everything. He knew he could tell me anything, and the one thing he should've...he didn't..."

_A swift kick knocked the sword out of his opponents hand and it skidded across the dojo floor before Sephiroth's blade was pointed at the others neck._

_ "One moment of hesitation is all it takes to lose the fight," Sephiroth spoke while pulling the sword away, "you've left yourself open to every possible attack." _

_ The sound of the door opening could be heard but all of the students in the dojo kept their focus on the silver haired man and his sparring partner._

_ "Never second guess, there is no room for that. It can be the deciding factor between life and death," Sephiroth finished explaining before glancing towards the door and seeing Angeal standing nearby._

_ "That's all for today," Sephiroth said to the students who all replied with "yes sir" in unison before bowing towards the man. They filed out of the dojo, stopping briefly to say their greetings to Angeal._

_ "How did the class go?" Angeal asked while crossing the room over towards the other._

_ Sephiroth gave a shake of his head before taking a seat, "there are only a few that I see that will make good Samurai. The others wont make it far."_

_ Angeal nodded as he took a seat across from the other. "They definitely need more training."_

_ "Yes," Sephiroth replied with a sigh. "How is Gen feeling today?"_

_ "Still has a bit of a fever, just been sleeping mostly," Angeal explained._

_ "I'll go visit him later today after the conference," Sephiroth said. He hated that he had been so busy the last few days, he wanted nothing more than to be able to be with his boyfriend when he wasn't feeling well. _

_ "I was thinking when he's feeling better that we should take him to that new book store that opened up," Angeal started before laughing slightly, "he said that the library in the castle is lacking anything of worth."_

_ Sephiroth smiled a bit at that before speaking. "That's about a town away isn't it?" _

_ "Yeah," Angeal replied, "But I think it would be good for him to get away from here for just a little while. I think he would appreciate it." _

_ Tilting his head slightly Sephiroth kept his gaze on his friend. Angeal was staring off into another direction now and the smile that had been on his face before had vanished and was replaced with a look that Sephiroth couldn't exactly place but it seemed to be bordering concern or worry._

_ "What's wrong?" Sephiroth asked while narrowing his eyes slightly. _

_ Glancing back over towards the other Angeal shook his head, "nothing."_

_ Sephiroth wasn't buying that. And Angeal knew he wasn't. He didn't respond but instead kept a pointed look at Angeal. It was pointless really for either of them to ever try lying to each other. Knowing each other for years had made it impossible to do so, they could read each other so well._

_ "It's just uh," Angeal began while clearing his throat, "well...the Shogun made a pass at Gen at one of the resident dinners." _

_ There was a brief moment of silence as Sephiroth's eyes widened. For a moment he thought he may have heard wrong but from the look on Angeal's face he knew he hadn't been mistaken. The reputation of the Shogun...it was something that many knew about but Sephiroth had always just thought maybe it was only idle gossip. But now that Genesis was brought into the equation he wasn't going to second guess._

_ He quickly stood to his feet and Angeal reached out a hand grabbing a hold of his leg._

_ "Easy," he warned to his friend while narrowing his eyes, "don't go getting worked up about this. Nothing came of it."_

_ "I won't allow it," Sephiroth spoke, almost as if he hadn't even heard Angeal speak to him._

_ "Seph!" Angeal started again trying to gain his friends full attention, "everything is fine alright? Relax...besides Gen would be upset if he knew I told you, he swore for me not to tell you anything." _

_ "What?" Sephiroth asked as jade eyes scanned blue. "Why wouldn't he want me to know?" _

_ "Because of such a reaction," Angeal explained with a gesture of his hand. "Now come on...I didn't tell you to get you upset but I just wanted you to know. And also to understand why I thought getting him out of the castle for a while would be good, just for a change of pace. Nothing happened, he made a pass but he realized Gen wasn't one to be easily manipulated. He backed down without a fight." _

_ Nodding a bit dumbly Sephiroth's gaze shifted towards the floor. "That's good. And I mean Gen's father is on the council so that wouldn't even be acceptable." _

_ Letting out a sigh Angeal crossed his arms across his chest. "Well that is how it should be anyways but I have heard some things...council members children or not. But the Shogun knows his boundaries when it comes to the Rhapsodos family. I'm surprised he even tried at all, but that's in the past." _

_ Clapping his friend on the back a few times he gave a smile. "In any case, shouldn't you be getting ready to visit him before the conference?"_

* * *

"But he did," Sephiroth finished quietly before crossing the room to take a seat back at the table. He quickly reached for the bottle of sake and poured himself another drink.

Not saying anything for the moment Angeal mulled the words over in his head. 'He did.' Genesis hadn't told him that the Shogun made a pass at him during that resident dinner all those years ago. It just so happened that Angeal had stepped out of the dinner hall and made his way further down the corridor when he overheard voices. He remembered the distinct voice of Genesis, it sounded angry and disgusted. The other voice was speaking in a more quiet and calm tone and he couldn't place it right away. But once he turned the corner he saw Genesis with his back against the wall and the Shogun standing very closely in front of him. He didn't have to say anything because they both had heard someone approaching and the Shogun had backed away and took his leave shortly thereafter, going back to the dinner hall. Genesis wasn't going to say anything about it at all and had just wanted to go back to the dinner, but Angeal pressed him about what had just transpired. It was after a while that Genesis finally admitted that the Shogun propositioned him in some way, but Genesis insisted that he made it clear to the man to stay away from him. He had been so convincing in his explanation that Angeal believed him, he thought that the Shogun wouldn't ever approach him again. After all he was the son of a council men. But...he knew now that that meant nothing.

"In some ways yes," Angeal finally spoke while turning pained blue eyes to Sephiroth. "Do you blame me for what happened?" It was something he had always wondered but never had the courage to ask. But it ate away at him everyday.

Staring into the small cup of sake the General didn't have to think long at all before speaking.

"No...I blame myself."

* * *

_ "Don't fall asleep, you can't fall asleep yet."_

_ A small smile crossed Sephiroth's face before he placed a kiss on his lover's forehead, gently brushing aside auburn locks. _

_ "I'm far from asleep," he explained softly._

_ "Good," Genesis spoke while pressing a kiss against the other's strong chest, "I know you have to leave early tomorrow...but I want to be selfish and keep you as long as I can." _

_ Tightening his arms around the smaller one Sephiroth let out a sigh. He hated having to leave Genesis whenever he went on assignments, but it couldn't be helped. They both understood that but it never made it any easier. So they always cherished the last moments they had together before they would have to part ways. Genesis made Sephiroth promise him this time however to spend the whole day with him before he left. He had insisted on it really, and had told him that if Sephiroth had anything on his schedule that he didn't care and that he had to clear it. He wanted him for the full day. _

_ It was a little surprising to Sephiroth at first, but then again he knew that his boyfriend could be demanding when he wanted to be. It was that fiery characteristic that he loved about him though. So that was how the day had been, they spent every minute together and now they were lying in bed in the late night hours after a passionate evening of lovemaking._

_ "I was thinking," Genesis began quietly while twirling a strand of silver hair around his finger. "Do you think love transcends time?" _

_ Raising his eyebrows Sephiroth gave a bit of a hmm before responding. "If it's real I believe so."_

_ Lifting up his head so that he could look into green eyes Genesis continued. "So you think if someone is your soul mate...no matter when or what time, in the next life and beyond that...they'd be together?" _

_ "Absolutely," Sephiroth replied without a moment of hesitation. _

_ A wide smile spread across Genesis face and his eyes seemed to light up...but Sephiroth couldn't help but to think even with that his expression seemed...sad._

_ "I think so too," he replied while lowering his head back to the others chest and curling up beside him._

_ Running his fingers gently through Genesis hair a frown settled on Sephiroth's face._

_ "What made you ask that Gen?" _

_ A moment of silence passed between them and Sephiroth let out a quiet sigh._

_ "Nothing is going to happen to me while I'm away, so don't think-"_

_ "I know that," Genesis cut in gently. _

_ "Good," Sephiroth replied, "And you know that we'll always be together. This life and the next." _

_ "...Always," Genesis spoke while rising up on his elbow once more to look into Sephiroth's face. He tried to hold back his tears but he couldn't. Before he could even react to them however Sephiroth had pushed himself up and took the other into his arms._

_ "Gen?" He asked in concern. He hadn't ever seen his boyfriend in such a state._

_ "I just...I don't want to let you go," Genesis explained against his chest while wrapping his arms around his neck. "I'm going to miss you so much." _

_ "It's okay," the Samurai began soothingly, "we won't be apart for long"_

_ Nodding Genesis tightened his arms around his neck. "I know...we won't."_

_ It was breaking Sephiroth's heart to see Genesis so upset over his departure, he had never been so emotional about it. He was never happy about it but he always put on a smile, he never had cried like he was now._

_ "And no matter what...or where you go never forget me...and how much I love you," Genesis explained while pulling away to look into green eyes._

_ "No matter where I am Gen I never stop thinking about you," Sephiroth explained seriously while searching teary blue eyes, "I love you more than anything...I always will."_

_ Leaning in Genesis pressed his lips to the others before they got caught in one of the most passionate kisses that they had ever shared. Every ounce of their love for one another was poured into that kiss, it seemed to surpass a physical connection and took on something completely deeper altogether._

_ After the night grew on and they cuddled up back together. Genesis tears eventually dried but he didn't move an inch away from Sephiroth, they stayed together in each others arms before the early light of day broke through the sky signaling that the Samurai had to get up and depart soon. During the process of him getting ready Genesis had woken up. He didn't say anything and instead silently watched as Sephiroth suited up. Once he was ready he made his way back to the bed before whispering his love to Genesis and placing a kiss on his lips. It was when he had gotten ready to walk away that Genesis reached out and grabbed a hold of his fingers. He only held onto them for a moment before gently letting his hand go, although he seemed to have a bit of a distant look in his eyes. _

_ "Goodbye love," Genesis said softly before giving a small smile._

_ Sephiroth returned the smile before quietly exiting the room. After he had taken a few steps away from Genesis room he paused. Genesis never said the words goodbye to him, he had always told Sephiroth that goodbye was too permanent. Shaking his head he dismissed it though, he figured he was probably looking too much into it. _

_ Days went by and eventually weeks. The assignment had turned out to be longer than probably anybody had thought but it finally came to an end and they were able to go back home. Angeal's unit had been a bit ahead of Sephiroth's and so he had made it back into Edo just hours before Sephiroth had. Once back Sephiroth had only stopped at home briefly before making his way towards the castle. With how Genesis had reacted to him leaving the last time he wanted nothing more than to see him. While he was away all he had thought about was Genesis, and he couldn't describe how much he had missed him._

_ He had made it to castle relatively quickly but once he stepped inside something seemed to be off. The overall feeling in the air just seemed different from when he was there last and he automatically felt himself become worried. Why he felt that way he couldn't describe at the time but he knew that did. Quickly making his way down the corridors he dismissed the passerby's who greeted him saying it was good to see him back home safely again. He couldn't care less about their greetings though, he just had an overwhelming feeling to see Genesis. Once he had made it further into the castle and was nearing Genesis quarters he saw a few people standing outside the door conversing. But in front of them standing off to the side was Angeal. His eyes were vacant and he was leaning against the wall before scuffing his hands through his hair._

_ "Angeal?" Sephiroth asked as he approached._

_ His friend looked up at him before shaking his head._

_ "What's wrong, what's going on?" Sephiroth hurriedly questioned as the sense of dread intensified within his stomach._

_ If Angeal wanted to answer him he couldn't. He just continued to shake his head before clutching his hair in his fist._

_ From that point on everything seemed to be in slow motion for Sephiroth. He glanced towards the door and realized that one of the people standing outside of it was Genesis mother and she was sobbing uncontrollably while Angeal's mother tried her best to comfort her but tears were spilling out of her eyes as well._

_ He took a hesitant step towards them before Angeal reached out his hand to stop him._

_ "He's gone," he finally said, "they said he had been sick with a high fever and..."_

_ "No," Sephiroth cut in with disbelief while taking a step back. He didn't want to hear anymore...he couldn't hear anymore. But that wasn't going to change what was reality. It was where his denial started, but as the days passed by...the days without Genesis, there was no denying it anymore. Genesis was gone, and he wasn't coming back. Sephiroth knew that, but he supposed he hadn't accepted it fully until the funeral. He had gotten to see his love one last time, and in that state he just appeared to be sleeping. He looked peaceful and beautiful...it was almost too overwhelming, but Sephiroth didn't shed a tear. Everyone around him on that day was tearful and sobbing, but he couldn't cry. It was because he was...angry. Angry at losing his soul mate? Yes. Of course, but more so upset because he felt as if he was stolen away...no, he knew he was stolen away. _

_ He hadn't spoken much to anybody since he had set foot back into Edo on that horrid day. People were very much aware that Sephiroth and Genesis were close. In fact many people knew of their relationship, it wasn't anything they ever truly tried to hide. Though they weren't openly affectionate in public either. But either way everyone knew that the loss of Genesis must've been difficult for him and so they understood him being more withdrawn than usual. Though some of his friends were starting to really worry about him._

_ After the service Sephiroth quickly departed. There were people lingering around after and in all honesty he just wanted them to leave, he wanted to be able to say his goodbyes in private, and he would go back later when he could be alone to do so. But at that moment he needed to be away. He had made his way into the town near the lake before halting at the waters edge._

_ "What?" He asked while staring at the water that gently reflected the light of what little sun was peeking through. It was foggy and overcast out, the weather seemed to match the whole dreariness of the day._

_ "You left quickly," the voice said while taking a few steps closer._

_ "Why did you follow me?" Sephiroth asked in a calm voice despite the different emotions he was feeling._

_ "I was worried about you," Angeal admitted. "Seph you haven't said hardly anything since..."_

_ "I don't have anything to say," Sephiroth quickly replied._

_ "Genesis parents are worried about you," Angeal said while taking another step closer._

_ "I gave them my condolences. If they want more from me I apologize but that's all I can give for now."_

_ Frowning Angeal shook his head "they don't want anything from you. Sephiroth...I know you feel guilty about not being there. But Gen...he was sick. Not to say that we say this coming but...his body just couldn't fight the fever this time. It's nobody's fault."_

_ 'Nobody's fault.'_

_ It was those words that pushed Sephiroth over the edge. What complete and utter garbage. _

_ "You're honestly not that naive are you Angeal?" _

_ Blinking a bit in confusion Angeal furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?" _

_ Turning around to face the other Sephiroth narrowed his eyes._

_ "Genesis didn't die from a fever, you know that!"_

_ "I don't understand," Angeal started with a shake of his head._

_ "You DO understand," Sephiroth corrected firmly._

_ Pausing Angeal kept his focus on Sephiroth, trying to read his face to find any indicator of what he was speaking his friend was too stricken with grief that he was just spouting off? But...the look in those green eyes told Angeal otherwise. _

_ "Genesis didn't die from a fever," Sephiroth repeated, "he committed suicide."_

_ "What?" Angeal asked in shock as his eyes widened, "why would you even say something like that?"_

_ "You know why!" Sephiroth shouted, "because he refused to be the Shogun's play thing anymore. He couldn't continue to live in such disgrace."_

_ "What? That was a long time ago...nothing came of the Shogun, Genesis wasn't-"_

_ "I won't allow you to deny that the Shogun didn't touch Gen," Sephiroth continued, "to do that would be to insult his life that he had to end." _

_ Shaking his head Angeal turned and walked away a few steps. "No, I asked him and he said nothing happened. I even asked him once more on a separate occasion and he assured me that everything was fine."_

_ "He didn't want to appear anymore weak than everyone already thought him to be because of his illness," Sephiroth explained. "You know that better than anyone Angeal. Of course he wouldn't tell us, he was too proud to. He already couldn't be a Samurai and felt weak because of that...you honestly think he would tell us about this?"_

_ Letting the information sink in Angeal frowned. No he...couldn't accept it. There was no way. _

_ Sephiroth could see the gears turning in Angeal's head and he continued on._

_ "Think about it Angeal. The things that you may have turned a blind eye to, what didn't seem to be a big deal at the time. Something that should've warned you but you dismissed. Gen might've told you with words that everything was fine...but his actions didn't." _

_ As much as Angeal didn't want to admit it...he knew Sephiroth was right. And looking back in retrospect there were many signs that pointed towards something not being right. And all that time he did nothing about it._

_ Turning back to look at the lake Sephiroth clenched his fist at his sides._

_ "I never should've left on that assignment," he started softly, "Gen told me...in so many words he told he was leaving me behind. But I didn't understand it at the time...that alone tells me."_

_ Looking back to Sephiroth Angeal gently shook his head. "I don't...but his family said he was sick with a fever."_

_ "No doubt because the Shogun told them to say so," Sephiroth began, "just so he could save face. And if Gen's parents knew in the end what really happened with the Shogun...perhaps they did it to hide the truth from everyone else."_

_ With each word that Sephiroth spoke to the other Angeal felt a stab of pain in his chest. He was always looking out for Genesis, even if the other insisted he didn't need him to. It was what he did, his duty as his brother. And to know now that he didn't protect him when he needed him most...he wasn't sure how to deal with that...no. Live with that._

_ "That's just...I don't know if I can believe that," Angeal continued. Maybe he was so persistent on denial because he couldn't accept the harsh reality...even though he knew it to be true. To fully accept it and acknowledge it was too painful._

_ "I'm sorry that you don't then," Sephiroth began while turning to look back at Angeal. "But I won't dishonor Gen's life by accepting this lie that we've been fed. I'll see to it that the Shogun pays for it."_

_ "Wait...Seph, what are you talking about?" Angeal asked with a shake of his head. "You think you can just walk up to the Shogun and accuse him of something like this? And if it were true, what then! You're only a Samurai and he's the Shogun, you wouldn't-"_

_ "If I die in the process then so be it," Sephiroth cut in while taking a step forward so that he was standing right in front of Angeal. "I won't let Gen's death be in vain. He was stolen from me and I have every intention on making that man pay, Shogun or not."_

_ Angeal could tell that Sephiroth was serious. He held not one bit of hesitance in his voice and the look in his eyes were clear. Sephiroth loved Genesis more than anyone, and the fact that he had lost him on account of the Shogun...that he wasn't able to protect him...Angeal knew that hurt him more than anything. And he had to admit he shared the sentiment._

_ "I understand what you're saying," Angeal started calmly. "But do you think this is what Gen would've wanted?"_

_ "Possibly," Sephiroth replied, "I told him before I left...that we'd be together always. In this life and the next." _

_ "That doesn't mean that time is now," Angeal explained, "I know you're hurting but you can't be reckless. And doing something foolish at the state you're in now...that's not the answer."_

_ It didn't seem as if Sephiroth was really being persuaded with the words Angeal was speaking and the other let out a sigh before closing his eyes briefly._

_ "Please Seph...promise me?" Angeal asked while opening distraught blue eyes, "I've just lost my little brother, I can't lose my best friend too." _

_ As much as Sephiroth wanted to dismiss his friends plea...he couldn't. He knew that he couldn't. Just like he was hurting he knew Angeal was too, and he owed his friend a little comfort. And so with one short nod he made a promise to his friend, he wouldn't do anything foolish. Although he told Angeal that he wouldn't disgrace Gen's memory. The other wasn't completely sure what that meant, but he knew that Sephiroth would never, ever forgive the Shogun._

* * *

"It's something that I have to live with everyday," Sephiroth spoke softly before shifting a bit in his seat, "although I've come to accept it."

Nodding briefly Angeal kept a close eye on the General before he was continuing to speak.

"What you're doing for Cloud," he started while looking back to the other, "it's a good thing. If I can help in any way please let me know."

"Thank you," Angeal replied with a sigh, "I'll talk with Zack tonight, we do need to figure out something. The search is increasing for him."

"His parents must be worried," Sephiroth said while picking up his cup.

"I suppose," Angeal started, "well his mother at least. Zack told me that Cloud's father was aware of the situation."

"Sickening," Sephiroth said without a moment of hesitation. That was one thing he was sure of when it came to Genesis, his parents would've never agreed to such a thing. Whatever occured with the Shogun was kept hidden from his family until the end. Although even now Sephiroth wasn't sure exactly how much they knew.

"It is, I don't understand a motive," Angeal explained.

"To move up higher on the council I would presume," Sephiroth began with a wave of his hand, "he's chamberlain is he not?"

"Yes," Angeal replied with a nod.

Sephiroth was just about to speak when a small knock sounded at the door.

"Come in," Angeal said while glancing over towards the entrance. The door slid open and a blond head came into view as Cloud peeked in.

"Forgive me for interrupting," he said softly with a bow, "I just...I realized the time was late and...Angeal did Zack say anything to you about not coming back here tonight?"

Angeal frowned before speaking. "He's not back yet?"

"No," Cloud said while twining his fingers together, "And I just...was sort of worried about him. He told me today that he wasn't going to be gone long."

Shooting a glance to Sephiroth the Samurai stood up. "I should probably go check to make sure everything is alright given the circumstances."

"Nobody else knows your here Cloud?" Sephiroth asked.

"No," he started with a shake of his head, "Aside from you now that's all."

"Zack has been staying here also lately," Angeal started to explain to Sephiroth as he rose from the table, "he doesn't want to be far away from Cloud. Though he is usually back by now...do you mind if I step out for a moment?"

"Not at all," Sephiroth replied while Angeal walked over towards the doors of the Den. He placed a comforting hand on Cloud's shoulder before telling him he would be right back and then he was on his way.

Looking back towards Sephiroth Cloud bowed once more.

"I'm sorry, I'll just be back in the main room then," he started before turning to leave.

"Cloud," Sephiroth began before he completely exited, "please, come have a seat."

A look of hesitation was in the boys eyes and Sephiroth gestured to the seat across from him.

"Please," he said once more.

Stepping into the den Cloud quietly crossed the room and took a seat across from the General. He was partially wondering if the General was going to lecture him more, after all he had just interrupted he and Angeal's conversation and had pretty much asked if Angeal could check on Zack on his behalf. But he just wanted to make sure he was okay...he didn't want anything happening because of him.

"How long has your father been on the council?" Sephiroth asked while pouring a cup of sake and pushing it towards Cloud who accepted it quietly.

"Officially about a year and half," Cloud explained.

Narrowing his eyes Sephiroth nodded. "He replaced Chamberlain Toga was it?"

"I believe so," Cloud said while glancing towards the table.

"Did you ever meet any of the council before moving here?"

"Before moving here?" Cloud asked and the other simply nodded, "I don't think so...but when my family moved here they had a welcoming dinner for us. That's where I met everyone."

"Why did your father replace Toga? Did he retire?" Sephiroth continued to question.

"I...I don't know," Cloud replied with a shake of his head, "I don't really know the specifics. And my father doesn't really talk to me about those kinds of things."

"Is that so?" Sephiroth asked partially to himself while taking a sip of his drink.

"May I ask why all the questions about my father?" Cloud asked while lifting blue eyes to meet green.

"I'm just trying to find out more about the man who would so easily give his son to the Shogun," Sephiroth explained while setting down his cup.

Cloud's eyes widened and what little color was in his face drained away. It was in that moment that Sephiroth regretted being so blunt.

"Angeal told you?" Cloud asked while already standing up on his feet.

"Yes but you needn't worry," Sephiroth replied as Cloud bowed his head.

"But that's not...he shouldn't have," Cloud started shakily before turning to head towards the door.

"Cloud," Sephiroth started as he quickly stood to his feet as well and crossed the room to catch the blonde. He had just placed a hand on the boys shoulder to stop him when Cloud instantly jerked away from his touch and spun around to face him.

"It's none of your business," Cloud spoke while trying to blink back his shameful tears. He may have been talking to the General but he didn't care. It was his life, and he didn't want everyone knowing about the twisted, sick things that were transpiring lately. And even if his dad had done him wrong, he still didn't want to disgrace his family or their name by speaking about his father in a bad way. It was a strange conflicting emotion but it was how he felt.

"I'm not judging you in any way," Sephiroth started gently. There was something about seeing the tears well up in those blue eyes that made Sephiroth want to make them go away. Even though he didn't know Cloud all too well...the fact that he was experiencing what Genesis had gone through...it made him feel as if they were close somehow. As odd as that may be.

"None of what's happened is your fault in any way," Sephiroth continued while tilting up the others chin with his finger. "You do understand that don't you?"

Pausing briefly to think it over Cloud lifted a hand to wipe at his eyes. He knew that it wasn't his fault...but in some twisted way, maybe down the line somewhere he started to wonder if he had in fact done something to bring all of the bad fortune he had experienced on himself.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of, you have to remember that," Sephiroth spoke gently before glancing away. Those words were words that he wished he had been able to speak to Genesis. To let him know that he hadn't disgraced himself or his family, that he wasn't lower because of what happened. That he was still worthy of his love, and always would be. That he didn't have to leave him.

Looking back to Cloud he gently wiped away one of his tears before continuing. "I only want to help you Cloud. So don't be angry at Angeal for telling me. Like him and Zack...I want to help you."

Cloud looked a bit confused at this momentarily. Sephiroth's words seemed more than sincere, but he couldn't understand fully why Sephiroth wanted to help him. He didn't even really know him. And just earlier he swore that the General only saw him as a hindrance to Angeal. So why?

* * *

**Authors notes**: And here is Chapter 17! A quick look on Sephiroth and Angeal's past and one of the Shogun's interest. I also wanted to note here instead of at the beginning because I didn't want to give things away. But suicide back in Japan during this period was common when it came to things of honor and such. So I hope people understand that. Genesis suicide was more of a thing to keep his honor, and honor his love Sephiroth. He didn't want to have to live with the shame and disgrace of betraying his love. Even though as Sephiroth thinks in the end there, he wished he would have told Genesis that he had nothing to feel ashamed about. Although of course Sephiroth wasn't aware of what was fully going on at that time. But there will be more depth to this past and the whole Sephiroth and Genesis thing. Cloud doesn't really understand why Sephiroth wants to help, but of course he is unaware that the General lost his love because of the Shogun. Eww the Shogun has been a creep forever! Lol! And hmm, where did Zack disappear to? Well until next update everyone! Thanks so much for your patience and your comments and reviews! You all are the best!


	18. Fragile

"I don't know why I make so much anymore," Natsumi started with a soft laugh as she poured tea for the both of them. "Saito rarely get's home at a decent hour anymore and Cloud is..." trailing off she cleared her throat before lifting blue eyes towards the Samurai and giving a smile. "It's just a habit I guess."

Zack returned the smile although the sadness behind it was evident. When he had walked his aunt back home that evening she had insisted that he stay for dinner. And while he thought to decline at first the hopefulness in her eyes was enough to make him change his mind. He knew that Natsumi was lonely, and he could only imagine that the silence in her home was deafening to her. She loved caring for her son and now that Cloud wasn't around she probably felt more lost than ever.

"Tama," Natsumi spoke while snapping her fingers at the cat who had now settled herself in Zack's lap.

"It's alright she's not bothering me," Zack replied with a laugh as he picked up his chopsticks.

"Sorry," Natsumi began with a laugh of her own, "I forgot how attached she is to you."

"Yeah I guess she misses me," Zack began while placing a bite of food into his mouth.

"Yeah well between you and Cloud I would assume she is pretty lonely," Natsumi said while dropping her gaze towards her plate.

Zack was at a loss for words, whenever Natsumi mentioned Cloud or anything even related to him she would get a downcast look. It tempted him more than anything to just tell her that Cloud was safe at Angeal's for the moment, but he knew he could't take that risk...he just couldn't. But the sight of her in such obvious pain broke his heart.

"Um," Zack started softly before turning the topic of conversation. "I heard that one of the tailors saw your Kimono at the festival a while back and really liked them. Are you thinking of selling them in town?"

"Oh," Natsumi said with a slight shake of her head, "yes. Takahashi's wife said she would love for me to bring some pieces to their shop. I actually already started to work on some."

"That's great," Zack replied with a smile.

"Yeah," Natsumi said while lifting up her cup of tea and taking a sip. "I had a few completed already but..."

Looking up from his plate when the woman trailed off Zack's eyes widened slightly when he saw the tears that had welled up in Natsumi's eyes. She covered her mouth with her hand before shaking her head.

"But...Cloud ususally helps me when I ask him to so," she continued shakily before covering her face.

"Auntie," Zack spoke gently before reaching his hand out across the table and taking her slim hand into his own.

"I'm sorry," she said while wiping at her eyes. "It's just...I can't help it. It's been weeks and I still...I just don't know."

Nodding in understanding Zack squeezed her hand tighter.

"Have you heard..._anything_?" Natsumi finally asked while turning watery eyes onto the Samurai. "Anything at all? I know they are supposed to be expanding the search for him."

Even though it was hard to do, Zack quietly spoke his next words. "I haven't heard anything else, I'm sorry."

Another choked sob came from Natsumi's throat and she shook her head. "Cloud would never just leave...he wouldn't. Something...something terrible must've happened."

"Don't talk like that Auntie that's not true," Zack started, trying to reassure and comfort the woman in some way.

"How can it not be?" Natsumi asked, "you know Cloud. He would never go away by himself like that...never! And he didn't even tell you? You know just as well as I do that he would never do that! So something must've happened...maybe they already know but they just don't want to tell me!"

In a second Zack had gotten up and rounded the table before kneeling down beside his aunt and pulling her into an embrace. She openly wept and clung to him and Zack felt even more horrible than before. This woman was like a second mother to him and he hated to see her this way. All of his life he had always known her to be full of smiles and bright and cheerful. To see her fall apart this way was too much. She didn't deserve to be kept in the dark, after all it wasn't her fault that Cloud had to leave. But if she knew the truth, would that honestly be any better?

* * *

"Zack?" A sleepy voice filtered into the air. Sliding the door to the den closed Sephiroth made his way over to the sleeping form under the blankets.

"No," the General spoke, "he's not back just yet. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

Blinking briefly Cloud glanced towards the window before pushing himself up slightly.

"But it's late, and Angeal..." he trailed off on the verge of sleep.

"Don't worry, go back to sleep," Sephiroth continued while reaching down and pulling the blankets up higher on the younger one. Cloud hesitated for a moment before finally resting back against his pillow and allowing the blankets to be placed over him. Sephiroth could see that he was still trying to stay awake, but after a few moments his eyes fell shut.

Taking a seat back at the table Sephiroth let out a sigh before his gaze drifted back to the blond. He knew the boy was worried about Zack but after Angeal had gone out to look for him Sephiroth had convinced Cloud that staying up and worrying wasn't going to do any good. He told him that he should get some rest and eventually sleep won out and Cloud started to drift off. The General figured he should stay until Angeal arrived back, just in case something had happened he didn't think it would be a good idea to let Cloud stay alone.

Reaching out for the bottle of sake his fingers had just touched the bottle before he let them slip away. He had probably drank more tonight than he had in a long time. Not that it was particularly affecting him though, but it seemed as if he somehow thought it would help. He had to admit that the evening at Angeal's had brought up alot of memories and emotions that he hadn't felt in quite sometime. There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't think of Genesis, not a day that he didn't curse the Shogun. But with being back in Edo...back at the castle where his very love once lived...it was heart wrenching really.

Ever since he had set foot back into Edo he had felt that way, but now with the situation of Cloud coming to light, it only made it worse. He saw in Cloud what he saw in Genesis. That hidden depth in their eyes. At the time Sephiroth didn't know what it was that he saw lurking in Genesis eyes, but now he could clearly see it in Cloud's and it only mirrored Gen's...

_He had just stepped foot out of the castle doors, passing by the stoic guards before a voice that he had longed to hear all day called his name. Stopping abruptly he turned around and was met with the smirking face of Genesis as he walked over towards him._

_ "Leaving without saying goodnight to me?" Genesis asked once he was right in front of the other, "such manners."_

_ A small smile tugged at the corners of Sephiroth's lips and he couldn't help but to reach out and brush a few strands of auburn hair away from his eyes._

_ "Forgive me, I thought you and Angeal were at some council event this evening," he explained as Genesis waved his hand in dismissal._

_ "I left that already," Genesis started while placing his hands against the Samurai's strong chest, "where were you heading just now?" _

_ "Home," Sephiroth replied with a shake of his head, "but that was when I thought you were unavailable tonight."_

_ Genesis smirk had turned into a full grin and he reached down and laced their fingers together. "Then stay the night with me?" He asked but had already turned and began leading them back into the castle before he got an answer. The stoic guards didn't say anything and their expressions remained the same however they did shift their eyes in the pairs direction gaining a glare from the Samurai. Sephiroth understood that maybe he was looked down upon, he was only a Samurai and the Rhapsodos family was very well respected. Genesis was far more above him in terms of status but it didn't matter to either of them, and Sephiroth would openly admit that he was very protective and even possesive of Genesis, and anyone who dared to challenge their relationship would surely lose in the end. _

_ They arrived at Genesis quarters relatively quickly and made their way through the lavish place to his bedroom. No matter how many times Sephiroth had been there it still left him in awe. Everything about the place was extravagant and beautiful. Spacious and decorative, the finest materials, beds draped in silk. It made Sephiroth's home back in town pale in comparison. The first time he had been there he had been hesitant to even touch anything, and over time that had greatly annoyed Genesis, but as their relationship grew so did Genesis scolding on the topic. He assured Sephiroth that his home was his too and he didn't need to feel out of place in being there. And so he didn't anymore, but he still had to appreciate it's beauty. _

_ "Angeal told me you two had a long day of meetings," Genesis started while grabbing a comb off of his dresser and pulling it through his hair a few times. He looked into the mirror and smiled at the reflection of Sephiroth sitting down on his bed before setting down the comb and crossing the room to the man. He placed a kiss on the other's cheek before wrapping his arms around his shoulders and looking at him back through the mirror. "Sorry, I know you hate those."_

_ "It wasn't so bad," Sephiroth replied while staring back at Genesis reflection. "How was your day?"_

_ "Dull," Genesis said with a sigh, "I was stuck in here all day." _

_ "Hmm, then I would've thought you would want to stay at the event this evening. Change of scenery," Sephiroth explained. Genesis turned his gaze away from Sephiroth's in the mirror and unwrapped his arms from around his shoulders._

_ "Those things are just full of people I don't care to see," Genesis spoke while pushing himself back on the bed._

_ "Oh?" Sephiroth asked while turning to face his lover. "Like who?"_

_ There was a brief pause before Genesis was looking up into green eyes with a smirk. "All of the uppity council members and their equally boring children. I swear, Angeal and I are the only the good ones out of the bunch."_

_ Sephiroth let out a genuine laugh at that and Genesis joined in._

_ "I'd have to agree with that," Sephiroth replied before Genesis leaned forward slightly._

_ "Yeah, and I'll gladly choose to see you anytime over those people," Genesis added while running his fingers through silky silver hair. Sephiroth closed the small distance between them and pressed a soft kiss to Genesis lips. The same rang true with him, Sephiroth would pass up seeing anybody else in a heartbeat if it meant that he could see and be with Genesis. He was the number one person in his life, and if he could he would spend every second of the day with him. _

_ Their small simple kiss grew into one more passionate and their hands began to wander over each others bodies. It didn't take long before they had both shed their garments and were pressed closely together, skin to skin and mouth to mouth. They made love well into the evening and the sounds of Genesis hitched cries of pleasure slowly tapered off. They rested after in each others arms, Sephiroth pressing kisses to Genesis forehead and shoulders and Genesis running his fingers through the cool silkiness of silver hair._

_ "Can you stay with me tomorrow?" Genesis asked softly as his eyes slipped closed but he continued to keep his fingers moving through the others hair._

_ "Only until early in the morning," Sephiroth replied while kissing Genesis ear, "sorry love."_

_ "Mm," Genesis said in response. It was something that he was used to, even though he hated it. He loved the rare occurrence if Sephiroth had a free day, they could sleep in each others arms without a care in the world. But often times that was ruined by Sephiroth getting up in the early morning hours and preparing to leave for his daily routine. He tried to do this without waking Genesis but it seemed as if the moment that the other's body moved away Genesis would awake in an instant._

_ "You have an early day tomorrow too don't you?" Sephiroth asked while tightening his hold on him._

_ "I suppose..." Genesis said while allowing his fingers to slide out of silver hair to instead trail down his lovers back. "My friend, the fates are cruel. There are no dreams, no honor remains." _

_ Raising an eyebrow at that Sephiroth spoke up. "What is that from?"_

_ "Something I've been reading lately," Genesis replied while nuzzling his face against the others chest. "Loveless."_

_ "It sounds rather sad," Sephiroth continued._

_ Blinking his eyes open Genesis looked into green eyes. He gave a small smile before reaching out and tracing the outlines of Sephiroth's face with his finger._

_ "No...I think it's tragically beautiful actually," he replied softly. The small smile still remained on his face, but even with that... the sparkle that was usually in his eyes whenever he smiled seemed to be non existent to Sephiroth in that moment. _

That had been the first time that Sephiroth had ever seen that look in Genesis eyes, and he often wondered just how long it had been at that point since the Shogun had entered the picture. Had it only just happened? It was something that he racked his brain over even though he knew that those thoughts only caused him more harm. After all it wasn't going to change the fact that Genesis was gone.

* * *

Shifting under the blankets he pulled his pillow closer before the sound of a cat meowing caught his attention. Blinking open his eyes he looked down into the dining area where he saw Angeal shooing Mizu away before he stood up from the table and enetered the kitchen.

Rubbing at his eyes he turned to look beside him and noticed that it was empty. A frown settled on his face before he quickly sat up replaying the events of yesterday. Sometime during the night after Angeal had left out Sephiroth told him that it was late and that he should just get some rest and not worry. And after a little hesitance Cloud decided he should head to bed, Sephiroth told him he would stay until Angeal arrived back and so he felt a bit more at ease. But now it was morning and Angeal was indeed there but...he still hadn't seen Zack. He wasn't sleeping beside him like he usually was, and he didn't hear his voice speaking to Angeal as he often would in the morning.

Angeal entered back into the dining area setting a small dish down for Mizu before entering the main living area where Cloud had been sleeping on the tatami mats.

"You're awake," Angeal started before pointing towards the dining area. "I made plenty enough so be sure to eat something."

Nodding Cloud ran a hand through his hair before looking up and squinting slightly at the other as his eyes tried to adjust to the bright sunlight that was filtering the room.

"Angeal," he started, his voice sounding small and quiet with the remnants of sleep.

The Samurai had just pulled open a cabinet sifting through it before turning to peer at Cloud from the corner of his eye. He already knew what the question was going to be.

"Zack's not here," he spoke casually.

Cloud opened his mouth to speak but Angeal continued.

"I couldn't find him last night," he started while shutting the cabinet door, "my guess is that he ended up staying back at home in town. I'll see him today."

"But he told me he was going to come back last night," Cloud replied as his eyes widened, "he wouldn't have-"

"Cloud relax," Angeal said while turning to face the other fully, "things happen. I'm sure he just couldn't get here last night. He'll be here soon enough."

"But I-" Cloud started, still having a bad feeling about things. However he quieted down when Angeal narrowed his eyes at him. It was a look that Cloud could easily tell meant stop questioning him.

Heading towards the entrance Angeal continued to speak. "Eat something. I'll be back tonight with Zack, don't worry."

The door closed shortly after that and Cloud was left in Angeal's spacious quarters by himself once again. Letting out a sigh he glanced towards the kitchen where Mizu was trotting over towards him, crawling onto his blanket and bumping his head against the blond's hand.

_Zack wouldn't just go back in town without saying something_, he thought while picking up Mizu and petting him behind his ears.

He didn't want to worry, he was trying hard not to worry but he couldn't help it. What if something had happened? What if somebody had discovered that he was staying at Angeal's and knew that Zack was aware of it? As a Samurai if he didn't report it he would be breaking an order. Not only that but Angeal could get pulled into it also.

Setting Mizu down on the blanket Cloud got up and made his way into the kitchen. No, he couldn't think that way, he had to trust Angeal and if he said that things were fine then surely they would be. Or...at least he had to hope.

* * *

Stepping into the conference room Angeal's gaze took a quick sweep of the area. There were a few council members present already but that was it. Letting out a sigh he took a seat at the table. After a few more moments more people began to file in and take their seats. Kunsel entered shortly after and gave a bow to Angeal before taking a seat beside him.

"Good morning," he said while shifting in the seat.

"Morning," Angeal started before casting a glance back towards the doorway. "Have you seen Zack at all?"

"Uh not today," Kunsel said, "but I was with him last night for a bit. He Reno and I were at the teahouse."

"I see," Angeal replied. There wasn't very much time before the conference was to begin and the man was beginning to wonder if Zack would make it at all. But it was at that moment when the door opened again that the raven haired Samurai stepped through. He said a quick hello to Kunsel before taking up the vacant seat on the opposite side of his mentor.

"Good morning," Zack said with a sigh. Glancing at the younger one from the corner of his eye Angeal lowered his voice so that only Zack could hear.

"Is everything alright? You didn't make it back last night," he spoke while opening his briefing folder.

"I know, I had a horrible night," Zack started while sitting back in his seat. "I was with my aunt and she's not doing well at all."

Raising an eyebrow Angeal turned to look at Zack slightly. "The Chamberlains wife?"

"Yes," Zack replied, "it's like Saito doesn't even care."

"We'll continue this conversation later," Angeal said once he realized the room was now pretty much full and the Shogun and his assistant Elena had entered. Once every was in attendance they started off the meeting, however as of lately Zack didn't really pay close attention. He was alert and knew of the general topics but then he would zone out, or keep a death glare on the Shogun. Angeal had noticed this more than once and would discretely jab his side while giving him a look that seemed to say "knock it off."

But Zack understood that, he had to keep his feelings in check. If anyone thought that there was anything suspicious going on surely attention would be brought upon him and that was the last thing he wanted or needed for that matter.

After a substantial amount of time the meeting finally came to a close and people began to file out of the room. Zack stayed near Angeal's side as he gathered the last of his documents before the Shogun spoke up.

"Zack before you left I wanted to ask you a question," the man spoke while leaning forward in his seat. "Have you any word of Cloud Strife's whereabouts?"

Turning his gaze towards the man Zack reluctantly bowed before speaking. "Forgive me You're Excellency but I still don't know."

"Is that so?" Hojo asked with a sigh, "it's beginning to become troubling. For his family that is."

"I understand," Zack replied while Angeal narrowed his eyes slightly at the other.

"You seem to be fine however," Hojo said with a smile.

"You're Excllency?" Zack asked while keeping his eyes fixated on the man.

"I know that you two were close," Hojo explained, "I'm just surprised that you don't seem to be too worried or taking his disappearance hard."

What was he up to? Was he fishing for something here? Was he trying to see if he would crack and give up some kind of information if he was questioned? Zack wasn't actually too surprised. He knew that if any speculation were too come it would definitely fall on him first, especially since the Shogun was aware of he and Cloud's true relationship.

"I am worried," Zack replied, "however I am a Samurai You're Excellency. I don't let allow emotions to seep into my work. You must understand this."

The Shogun's smile widened and he adjusted his glasses while sitting back in his seat. "Of course," he said with a nod, "that is why you are one of the best. Hewley you have an exceptional pupil."

"Thank you You're Excellency," Angeal spoke with a bow.

"Weren't you at the Strife's residence last night?" Elena asked while looking up from her folder that she was holding and scribbling things down in.

"I was," Zack quickly answered.

"Oh?" Hojo asked with a tilt of his head.

"I ran into my Aunt in town and she invited me back for dinner. She hasn't been too well lately considering the circumstances," Zack explained.

"That is understandable," Hojo replied.

"Hmm," Elena mused while continuing to write in her folder.

"Well then, please do keep searching for him. I would like to have some good news for his family soon," Hojo explained while rising from his seat with Elena beside him.

The two bowed once more before exiting out of the conference room and Angeal let out a sigh.

"What was that about?" He asked lowly.

"I don't know, I think he's just trying to catch me off guard," Zack replied with a shake of his head.

"Did something happen last night that would make him question you?"

"No," Zack started, "I was at Cloud's home and I had dinner with my Aunt. She was crying for a majority of the night and I didn't want to leave her in that state. Then by the time I was going to leave she insisted that I stay because it was too late."

"And what of Saito?" Angeal asked, "he didn't mind you being there?"

"No," Zack replied, "he came back later in the evening and saw Natsumi crying and barely said two words to her. He just went back to his room and that was all that I saw of him."

Frowning Angeal took in that information. Somehow Elena had discovered that Zack was there, whether she had seen him in passing or followed him for some reason he couldn't be sure. Or was it that Saito told her?

"I don't have too much of a full schedule today, I better get back soon I know Cloud was worried," Zack started before Angeal slowed his steps. Noticing the change of pace Zack stopped and gave his mentor a curious look.

"Follow me," Angeal said simply before turning and going down the opposite direction of the hall. They made their way through the castle before Angeal was opening the door that lead out to the main courtyard. There was a few people passing through but other than that it was scarce, which was how it usually was early in the morning and that was the reason why Angeal chose to go there.

"Angeal?" Zack asked once they had made their way towards the center of the courtyard.

"Tell me exactly what happened yesterday," Angeal started while taking a seat on the stone bench.

Giving a bit of a confused look Zack took a seat beside him. "I told you I ran into my Aunt in town and-"

"Where were you when you were in town?"

"At the Kisiragi teahouse having a few drinks with Reno and Kunsel," Zack explained.

"Then you left there and came back to the castle and went to Cloud's quarters," Angeal continued.

"Yes," Zack confirmed before shaking his head slightly. "Why are you asking?"

Angeal let his eyes roam the area before continuing on. "I think you're being followed Zack."

"What?" Zack asked as his eyes widened briefly.

"Elena got her information from somewhere," Angeal started, "and just how would that be possible? Do you recall seeing her last night at any time?"

"No I...I don't think so," Zack replied but Angeal was letting out a sigh. He clearly wasn't impressed with that response.

"_Think_ Zack," he began more sternly.

Narrowing his eyes in thought Zack tried to recall the other days events. After he left from town and parted from Reno and Kunsel he didn't remember seeing anybody else around. And when they had gotten back to the castle it was already late in the evening and so the halls were very quiet. He didn't remember seeing anyone in the halls except for maybe a few residents but that was it.

"She wasn't around, I know that for a fact. I didn't see her last night," Zack explained while shifting his gaze back to Angeal.

Giving a brief nod Angeal continued. "There's no way that Saito could've relayed that message so fast. He wasn't present at the conference today, and you said yourself that once he came back last night he stayed in his room."

"And he was still there when I left," Zack added.

"He hadn't left to his office?" Angeal questioned.

"No," Zack replied with a shake of his head, "my Aunt had just made breakfast and had just woken him up. I left and headed straight to the conference hall right after that."

"Then it's someone else," Angeal supplied while pinching the bridge of his nose. This was too much first thing in the morning.

"Who?" Zack continued to question. His mind was racing at this point and he just wanted answers.

"It could be anyone," Angeal replied. "You know how these things work. In the meantime you need to be wary of your surroundings. Until whoever this person is figures out that the trail runs cold with you."

"Okay," Zack began with a nod. "I've kept up my same routines up until this point, nothings changed in that regard. So it shouldn't be any-"

"You need to stay away from my place for a while," Angeal cut in. "It's way too risky for you to be spotted around there."

"What!" Zack asked in shock, "Angeal you can't be serious, I have to stay there. And nobody will think otherwise if they see me going there, I've stayed there plenty of times before."

"This is different Zack," Angeal countered, "you'll just lead whoever it is that's following you straight to Cloud at that rate, and that's what they want."

Looking away Zack clenched his fists tightly. He couldn't be away from Cloud, no, not again. Not after he promised him that he would do everything in his power to keep him safe. Just how was he supposed to do that if he had to stay away from him? Anything could happen and he wouldn't know, just like how things went before.

"You're gone all day," Zack said while looking back to the other, "he'll be there all alone, that can't be safe. He needs someone there with him at least half of the time."

"As long as he stays inside my quarters he'll be fine," Angeal said while lowering his voice as a few residents passed by. "There's no reason for them to believe he's staying at my place, they'd have no reason to search there."

Part of Zack knew that Angeal was right, but another part was still saying that it wasn't enough.

"I don't..."

"You just worry about this. If you notice or see someone constantly around you, be aware of it," Angeal started while standing up from his seat. "Leave Cloud to Sephiroth and I for the time being, we'll keep an eye on him."

"Wait Sephiroth?" Zack asked while rising from his seat also. "He knows about Cloud being there?"

"Yes," Angeal replied, "but it's fine, you can trust him."

_Sephiroth knows?_ Zack wasn't sure how he felt about that. He had always been an admirer of the General's and he was a good guy from what Zack knew. But when it came to something like this, he didn't know if he was completely trustworthy. If the General's loyalty was with the Shogun wouldn't he tell Cloud's location without hesitating? Although Zack trusted Angeal more than anything, and he supposed if he told Sephiroth then it was alright. After all Sephiroth and Angeal were long time friends.

"I need to go before I'm late," Angeal continued, "we don't need any more suspicions to arise. I'll see you and Kunsel at the dojo later."

"Alright," Zack replied just as Angeal was about to walk away. "Angeal?"

Stopping the man glanced at Zack waiting for him to continue.

"Can you please tell Cloud...I'm sorry," Zack said softly as his gaze fell to the ground. He looked back up when he felt a hand squeeze his shoulder.

"I will, although I'm sure it won't be needed. He'll understand," Angeal explained before walking out of the courtyard.

_He'll understand..._

Zack was sure that he would, but it still didn't mean that he wasn't sorry. After all in a way he was breaking yet another promise to Cloud, and he knew he needed him. He had to think of something quick, this had gone on for far too long in his opinion.

The rest of the day seemed to drag by relatively slowly. Zack found it hard to concentrate on anything and his mind kept drifting back to Cloud. He knew he was back at Angeal's worrying, even if Angeal had already filled him in on what was going on. For a moment he felt like completely disregarding what Angeal said and going to his quarters anyway. If only for a moment, he just wanted to see Cloud and make sure that he was alright. But he knew that was reckless thinking, he couldn't go there if it meant that it would potentially put Cloud in danger.

It was now the evening and he had been at the resident dinner for a while. He really didn't want to go but Angeal insisted that he needed to go and at least make an appearance. And so he did but after a short amount of time he decided to head out. It looked as if he would be going back into town though.

"Zack?"

He had just stepped out of the dinner hall and turned to see Aerith stepping out of the room as well.

"Were you leaving already?"

"Yeah," Zack replied with a smile, "I was only here to stay for a bit because Angeal needed me to. But I've had a long day."

"Oh," Aerith replied with a giggle while taking a few steps closer to the other. "Well that's understandable. I hope next time you can stay longer, I feel as if I haven't seen you in awhile and...well. Are you okay?"

Blinking briefly Zack tilted his head. "I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"It's just with everything that's been happening lately...and Cloud you know?" She finished while dropping her gaze briefly.

"Yeah," Zack replied softly.

"But they'll find him soon, I know it," Aerith continued while putting her dazzling smile back on her face.

"That's right," Zack said with a smile. If anyone's spirits could be up during this time it was definitely Aerith's, she was always an optimist.

"Well I better go back inside," she started while peeking back into the dinner hall. "I'll see you soon?"

"Of course," Zack replied. And before he even really realized it, Aerith had took a step closer and stood on her tip toes to place a small kiss on his cheek.

"Goodnight," she said with a full blush on her cheeks. She didn't give him a chance to say anything before she slipped back into the dinner hall leaving a surprised Zack behind.

"Good...night," he said to himself while keeping his gaze on her until she disappeared from his sight. What was that? He thought to dismiss it, perhaps it was just because of everything that was going on, maybe she meant it in a comforting sort of way. But he knew that wasn't it, he was well aware now that Aerith had a crush on him, but that...

Letting out a sigh he turned and continued to make his way out of the castle. What was he going to do about her? He already had too much going on. Was he going to have to let her down gently and tell her that nothing more could come from their relationship other than friendship? He didn't want to hurt her feelings but...he couldn't lead her on either.

_Never mind that. What about Cloud? What are you going to do? _

No matter what Cloud and Angeal thought, Zack couldn't deny that his thoughts kept going back to taking Cloud and getting out of Edo. Yeah, he knew it was potentially dangerous. But he truly believed that the pros outweighed the cons. The places that they could go were endless, and with his skills as a Samurai he would be able to protect them and keep them safe. Work wouldn't be had to obtain, and he did have a decent amount of savings. If only he could get Cloud to trust him and go along with the idea, because staying in Edo when things were how they were seemed impossible.

He had been so lost in his thoughts that he had barely even realized that he was already more than halfway from the castle. But he snapped out of his wanderings when he heard a sound coming from behind him. It was a quiet evening out, barely any wind and the only sound was that of some crickets chirping in the distance. It was easy to spot any other sounds that seemed off in the setting. Shifting his gaze to the right he reached back and placed his hand on the hilt of his sword before spinning around.

"Whoa, it's just me!"

"What the hell," Zack said with a sigh as he removed his fingers from the sword. "What are you doing out here?"

"I just got back from doing some work," Reno replied.

"Heading into town then?" Zack asked.

"Yeah, want to grab a drink with me?" Reno asked while walking closer.

"Sure," Zack answered. It had been a long day and so he figured a drink wasn't too bad of an idea.

"So anything interesting happen today?" Reno asked as they continued heading back into town.

"Well interesting isn't exactly the word I'd use for it," Zack explained.

"Yeah probably more like boring right?" Reno asked with a laugh, "those dinners are always that way."

_Wait...what? _

"How about your day?" Zack asked carefully.

Reno shrugged, "work is work. I was gone all day though, I just got back now and thought a drink was in order."

Halting in his tracks Zack kept a leveled gaze on the red head.

Stopping Reno gave Zack an odd look. "What?"

"How did you know there was a resident dinner?" Zack asked quietly.

"Huh?" Reno asked in confusion, "they said there was going to be one."

"No they didn't," Zack replied, "this one was spur of the moment, they only put it together towards the end of the day. And if you were gone all day and just getting back now how would you have heard about it?"

Blinking Reno let out a laugh, "well I'm sorry I just assumed, they always have those things. And since you're leaving the castle I just figured you must've been there."

"No," Zack continued while reaching back and grasping the hilt of his sword. "And more importantly if you were just in fact getting back now why are you coming from the direction of the castle? You could've gone straight to town."

There was a heavy silence that fell over the two after that. Reno's smile had disappeared and he kept a cool gaze on the Samurai. After another moment he let out a sigh before grabbing the hilt of his katana.

"Damn," he spoke while tilting his head, "you always were good with puzzles. Maybe I was a bit messy this time around."

"You've been following me," Zack stated while narrowing his eyes.

"Yes, I was going to tell you tonight...which is why I was suggesting we go for a drink. I had things we needed to talk about," Reno explained.

"Yeah I'm sure," Zack said sarcastically.

"I'm serious," Reno replied while looking a bit offended. "I just didn't want to talk in a place so open."

"It's just you and I," Zack started, "so talk."

Letting out an irritated sigh Reno frowned, "Alright fine, but would you mind moving your hand from your sword? You're not really preparing for a fight with me are you?"

"I've just learned that an assassin has been following me, what do you expect?" Zack asked while still keeping his hand in place.

"Fair enough," Reno started, "but I am your friend first before anything. Which is why I was coming to talk to you tonight, before anything else progressed."

Removing his hand from the hilt of his katana Reno continued. "What are you mixed up with? What do they expect me to find from following you?"

Dropping his eyes to Reno's weapon Zack felt that possibly he was telling the truth. For him to not be on guard was a good indicator that he really didn't mean Zack any harm. But as of right now Zack wasn't sure who could be trusted, and friend or not he still was a bit cautious.

"I'm not mixed up in anything," Zack explained, "who sent you to follow me?"

"A direct order from the Shogun," Reno replied. "I was supposed to tail you and report back daily."

"How long have you been doing this?" Zack asked.

"That I can't say," Reno began with a shake of his head. "Though they wouldn't ask me to if there wasn't some other reason behind it. What do you know?"

_What do you know..._

So Angeal was right after all. Someone was following him and the reason for that was because they were sure that he was aware of Cloud's whereabouts. A sneaky move but Zack guessed he couldn't be too surprised, they probably always thought he had something to do with it from the beginning.

"Nothing," Zack said with a shake of his head.

"That's a lie," Reno stated without hesitation.

"Even if it were it hardly matters," Zack started. "Is that the extent of your order? Or have I been marked already?"

"That's the extent, and that's the truth," Reno said while looking directly into blue eyes. "If you have been marked I don't know anything about it. I felt bad enough for doing this but I can't ignore an order. I thought if you told me what was going on I could...somehow help."

"Help?"

"Yes," Reno continued with a sigh, "I can throw them off track. Tell them I didn't find anything from following you, that everything seems normal. But it would have to be a valid reason. And knowing you...I'm sure that it is."

Zack wanted to believe him...really he did. This was his childhood friend after all but he still wondered if he could trust him. Then again, Reno didn't have to tell him what he did so far. And being a professional assassin he knew that Reno easily could've lied his way out of the situation if he really wanted to.

"They think that I know where Cloud is," Zack admitted while adverting his gaze briefly.

"Cloud?" Reno asked while raising an eyebrow. "Why would they think you knew?"

"Because the Shogun knows that we're close," Zack replied.

"Even so," Reno began quietly while furrowing his brows in thought. "Well...do you know?"

"No," Zack answered instantly while shaking his head. He did trust Reno, but he was still too leary about giving up too much information. And if anything did happen to him...he needed to know that Cloud was safe, and exposing his location wouldn't be a good idea.

Letting out a sigh Reno crossed his arms across his chest. "Even if you did know you wouldn't tell me would you?"

"Probably not," Zack replied.

"I guess that's not a shock," Reno continued with a slight nod, "you and Cloud have always had that best friend thing. And you two never told each others secrets to anyone else, maybe that hasn't changed."

Looking down to Zack's hand that was still resting on the hilt of his sword Reno shook his head. "Do you really believe that I mean to harm you?"

"I want to believe no," Zack answered honestly. They had been friends for so long, that if their friendship really ended in such a tragic way, it would be heartbreaking. But then that was the past and this was now. And maybe things didn't always remain the same. The simpler times had long since passed...

_"What are you doing up there?" _

_ "The kitten needed help!" Cloud shouted down towards the red head._

_ "It's not even your cat!" Reno shouted back while peering up at the blond through squinted eyes because of the bright sun._

_ "Well he wanted to help it," Zack added while beginning to scale the tree already._

_ Shaking his head Reno kept a close eye on the small blond, hoping that he kept a tight grip on the branch he was currently perched on before Zack reached him. He had the kitten secured in one arm and was looking down at the ground below._

_ "I didn't know it was this high," Cloud said as his eyes grew wider._

_ "Don't worry, I'll get you," Zack spoke while reaching out for another nearby branch._

_ "Lower the kitten down to me Cloud," Reno said while reaching his arms out for the animal._

_ "No he'll fall!" Cloud cried._

_ "He'll land on his feet just drop him!" _

_ "No!" _

_ Scuffing a hand through his hair Reno frowned up at the smaller one. He sure was being stubborn for someone who got himself into this mess._

_ Pulling himself up onto the tree limb that Cloud was on Zack carefully moved forward until he was right behind Cloud._

_ "Alright, you have to hop onto my back," Zack explained while reaching out to take the kitten from him. And ever so carefully Cloud climbed onto Zack's back, securing his arms tightly around the others neck._

_ "Reno I have to pass the kitten to you," Zack started but Cloud tightened the hold on his neck at those words._

_ "You can't drop him, he'll get hurt!" Cloud exclaimed._

_ "I can't climb back down with only one free hand," Zack replied. They went back and forth on this for awhile before Reno was letting out a big sigh and then approaching the tree._

_ "I'm coming up!" He announced before carefully making his way up the tree. _

_ "Honestly Cloud, you owe me big for getting this cat! What are you even going to do with it?" _

_ "I just want to feed it and make sure he's safe," Cloud answered innocently._

_ Zack laughed and smiled at that, it was something so simple and Cloud was going to such lengths to do it. _

_ Finally reaching the limb they were on Reno took the kitten from Zack and began making his way back down the tree with Zack right behind him. He reached the ground and put the squirmy kitten down just to have it bolt off the second after._

_ "Oh no come back!" Cloud cried as the little kitten dashed off. Zack dropped down to the ground and kneeled down so that Cloud could hop off his back. He ran a few steps wanting to go after the kitten but then let out a defeated sigh when he realized it was already too far away._

_ "Don't feel bad Cloud," Zack said while coming up behind him and patting him on the head, "at least you got him down from the tree huh? He's probably just going home now." _

_ "What a waste of time," Reno said with a pout, "and it scratched me too!" _

_ Turning back to the redhead Cloud took his hand and looked at the tiny scratch._

_ "I'm sorry you got scratched cause of me," he explained while looking up with big blue eyes._

_ "Eh, it's fine," Reno replied while ruffling blond spikes. He may have griped at the other but truth was he didn't mind doing things for Cloud. He was like his little brother after all._

_ "He scratched me too," Cloud said while holding out his arms and Reno pushed up the sleeves of his yukata. While Reno only had a small scratch, Cloud had a few on each arm._

_ "Geez Cloud," Zack broke in while looking at the little red welts on the boys arms. "That cat wasn't very friendly was he?"_

_ "He must've just been spooked," Reno replied while pulling Cloud along with him. "Come on let's go bandage these up."_

Memories like that seemed to be like a past life. They were all so innocent then, not yet tainted by the challenges of growing up. They had history that was for sure, but in this new life they had maybe that meant nothing. Perhaps the paths they had chosen were too harsh and cruel that they couldn't hold onto what used to be.

"I'll tell the Shogun that I've continued to follow you and that everything is normal," Reno explained.

Shaking his head from his small flashback Zack looked back to the other.

"I know you'll do anything to protect Cloud...and if for some reason you're covering up his disappearance for that reason, then I respect that."

Not saying a word Zack soaked in those words. Maybe things wouldn't change then? Despite their positions, they were friends. And maybe there was a deeper loyalty in that than in anything else.

Slowly he removed his hand from the hilt of his sword and Reno gave a smile.

"Thank you," he said while flicking his eyes back towards the Samurai's.

Zack simply gave a nod and Reno tilted his head questioningly.

"I don't suppose you might still want to get a drink?"

Hesitating only briefly Zack nodded. "A drink sounds good."

He wouldn't doubt Reno's loyalty, not anymore.

* * *

**Authors Notes:** And here is chapter 18! Sorry again for the slow update, heh. Although I've already begun writing chapter 19 and I'm actually almost done with it! So sorry for the cliffhangerish ending there. What's going to happen with Zack? Will Reno really not say anything to the Shogun? And will leaving the castle really be the best option for Cloud? And just why is Sephiroth really back in Edo after all this time? Pieces of the puzzle are beginning to fill in! Thanks so much for your reviews and comments guys, they mean so much. Will be posting Chap 19 soon! Until then Ja ne!


	19. Unconditional

Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters, however I do own this story!

* * *

_Stepping into the lavish quarters Sephiroth gave a bow to Michiko, the Rhapsodos's maid. She returned the bow with a smile before gesturing the Samurai towards the hallway that lead to Genesis room._

_ "Thank you," Sephiroth spoke before making his way down the hall. The place was quiet considering it was midday, but Sephiroth knew that Genesis father was away at work and his mother probably in town more than likely. He stopped at the front of Genesis door and gave a soft knock. If the other was sleeping he didn't want to wake him._

_ "I'm not hungry Michiko," came the somewhat sleepy voice of the auburn haired youth._

_ "Gen?" Sephiroth asked while already beginning to slide open the door. His gaze fell onto Genesis who was sitting up in bed, his hair a complete mess and noticeable bags under his eyes._

_ "Sephiroth," Genesis said as his eyes widened slightly, "what are you doing here right now?" _

_ "I was dismissed from my duties earlier than I thought," he explained while closing the door behind him. "Since it was still early I thought I'd pay you a visit."_

_ Shaking his head Genesis shifted in bed, "I appreciate the thought but you really shouldn't be here right now...not today."_

_ Quickly crossing the room towards the bed Sephiroth took a seat on it and cupped Genesis cheek with his hand. He immediately became worried at Genesis appearance and knew that something was the matter._

_ "What's wrong?" He asked gently._

_ Looking into green eyes Genesis carefully removed the hand from his face. "I'm not feeling particularly well." _

_ Moving his hand towards the younger ones forehead Sephiroth frowned. "You don't seem to have a fever."_

_ "Even so," Genesis mumbled. "I don't feel well...you shouldn't be here when I'm like this. I don't...like you to see."_

_ "Genesis," Sephiroth started with a sigh. He knew that the other never liked to show his weak side, and since he fell ill often, he didn't usually like to have the other around. Or at least so he would say, but Sephiroth knew that he was glad for his presence. However this seemed a bit different from the times that Sephiroth had seen Genesis ill. He looked...exhausted. The distinct bags under his eyes were a clear indication of that, and his rumpled hair was a given that he definitely was having a restless sleep, if not any rest at all. But with no fever, what was ailing him that was keeping him awake? _

_ Running his thumbs across the bags under those blue eyes Sephiroth continued. "You need to rest love. I'm staying right here with you," he confirmed, dismissing Genesis statement that he shouldn't be there._

_ There was a brief pause as Genesis held the others gaze, and then he was nodding before moving in towards Sephiroth, getting wrapped up into his strong arms as he rested against his chest. The Samurai shifted them just a bit so that he was leaning back against the headboard of the bed and Genesis was at a more comfortable angle to lay down against him. He placed a soft kiss in the messy auburn tresses before moving his hand up and down Genesis back, trying to lure him into a comfort so that he would drift off to sleep. He had to have been awake for a while to look so tired. Although the bit of redness he saw in his eyes made him wonder if it was all in fact just from a lack of sleep. Or could it have also been from...tears?_

* * *

"Isn't that right Sephiroth?"

Blinking briefly the General turned his gaze towards the Shogun who was giving him a bit of a questioning look from his seat at the end of the conference table.

"Forgive me your Excellency I didn't quite catch that," he explained from across the room where he was standing beside the entrance.

The man gave a bit of a chuckle while adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "I was simply explaining to Saito here that the whereabouts of his son, while still very much a mystery are in capable hands. With you leading the Samurai again I know that you are giving them substantial orders on seeing this through. As well as Angeal. We couldn't have better people overseeing this."

"Yes," Sephiroth replied while shifting his gaze towards Saito who was seated across from the Shogun. "I assure you that the search for your son is being handled with the best care."

"Thank you," Saito responded with a brief bow, "that means very much to me and my wife."

"I'm sure it has not been easy," Sephiroth spoke, "losing a loved one in any aspect is a painful experience. I'm not a stranger to it myself." Looking back towards the Shogun he kept a firm gaze on the man before he caught his eyes.

"Yes well," Hojo began with a sigh, "Cloud however is not gone exactly...simply missing. He will turn up soon."

"Reno will be able to give us a good lead if not anything else," Elena spoke up with a smirk.

_Reno? _Sephiroth was more than aware of the red heads role for the Shogunate, but he hadn't heard anything about him when it came to Cloud's disappearance.

"Reno?" Sephiroth voiced while looking at the blond woman.

"Yes," she said simply before looking back towards her clipboard and scribbling down some notes.

"Ah yes, if anyone can give us anymore details it would be him," Hojo explained.

"What does he have to do with this?" Sephiroth asked.

"We've enlisted his help as well," Hojo began, "it seemed necessary given the circumstances."

"I've heard nothing of it," Sephiroth replied while narrowing his eyes at the other.

"I do apologize," Hojo said, "there has just been so much going on that I must've failed to mention it."

"Failed you did," Sephiroth spoke evenly, keeping his focus on the Shogun.

Giving a brief laugh and a smile Hojo continued on. "Don't concern yourself with that matter however, it's under control."

"In any case, you should be getting ready for your meeting with the Magistrate You're Excellency," Elena explained.

"Yes that's right," Hojo replied with a nod before standing up from the table as Saito followed suit. "We'll all meet again soon to get an update on this matter."

"Yes You're Excellency, thank you," Saito said with a bow before turning towards the General. "And thank you very much as well."

"Of course," Sephiroth replied before heading towards the door. He stopped briefly to give a brief bow to the Shogun and then he had exited the room and was making his way through the castle. He had nothing left to say to any of those people in that room, and he had been counting the seconds until he could leave the whole time. He quickly made his way through the castle and into town where he entered the Kisiragi teahouse. There wasn't very many patrons but the ones that were there quickly stood to their feet and bowed towards the General. He gave them nods of acknowledgment before finding a table towards the back of the room that was separate from the rest.

"Welcome sir!" Came the greeting of a young girl, she approached the table with a pot of tea before halting in her tracks briefly. Shaking of her shock she moved towards the table and set the teapot down on it. "Oh you...would't happen to be..._the_ General Sephiroth would you?"

Glancing up at the somewhat flustered girl the man nodded before she broke out into a grin.

"Oh my," she started while pouring him a cup of tea. "All of Edo has been in a frenzy since word of you arriving back spread. Although I never would've thought you would be right here in my families teahouse!"

"Hi Yuffie," a voice spoke from behind the girl. Turning around she smiled at her friend before stepping aside to allow him to sit at the table with the General.

"You couldn't have told me that you were meeting the General here?" Yuffie asked Zack while setting down a cup for him and filling it with tea. "I would've brought out the best tea you know, and our finest dishes."

"This is more than alright, thank you," Sephiroth spoke while flicking green eyes back to gray.

"Oh well...if you're sure!" She replied with a nervous laugh. "Anyways, please take your time deciding what you'd like to eat and just shout if you need anything." And with that she scurried off to the back.

Scratching the back of his head Zack gave the other a smile. "Sorry about that," he said with a small laugh.

"It's perfectly alright," Sephiroth dismissed while taking a sip of his tea. "Angeal's left already?"

"Yeah," Zack replied with a nod. "He figures he'll be away for about three days at the most."

"I see, and he had no problem with you not going?" Sephiroth questioned.

"No," Zack answered, "Kunsel was more than willing to go in my place so it was fine."

An assignment had come up and while Zack was supposed to go along with Angeal he just couldn't bring himself to leave. Angeal understood and since it was something relatively simple he didn't argue with his pupil and had no issues with Kunsel filling in for him.

"Very well," Sephiroth continued, "as for my meeting with the others today everything seems to be just as it was. They don't suspect anything, nor do they have the first clue as to Cloud's whereabouts. Although they have discussed something with Reno, but his role in this I do not know."

"Reno isn't anything to be worried about," Zack quickly added.

Raising an eyebrow Sephiroth lowered his cup and waited for Zack to elaborate.

"I sort of already found out Reno's role in this a few days ago. Apparently the Shogun asked him to follow me thinking that I would lead him to Cloud or at least discover some information that I may have."

"Hmm," the General began in thought but Zack was continuing on.

"It's fine though, Reno told me everything," Zack explained. "He's my friend...we can trust him."

"You're certain?" Sephiroth asked while reaching out for the pot of tea and pouring himself another cup.

Pausing for only a second Zack nodded once more. "I am."

"Very well then," Sephiroth replied. "Everything should be fine then. And since Angeal has left I told him I would check on Cloud periodically."

"About that," Zack started while leaning against the table. "I think I would like to go back to Angeal's."

"He said that you should stay away from there," Sephiroth explained casually.

"Yes," Zack admitted, "but that was because he thought I was being followed. And while he was right about that, I mean with Reno...now that Reno's not following me anymore then there isn't any reason why I shouldn't go there."

Sephiroth remained silent for a moment as he took in Zack's words. He wasn't really in the position to tell Zack that it was a good or bad idea to go to Angeal's quarters. He would just have to trust Zack's judgment on the situation. After all he figured that he knew the red head pretty well. And while Sephiroth may have had his reservations if he were in Zack's place, he couldn't say to the younger Samurai that he was wrong. But friend or not...Sephiroth just wasn't sure how much one could really trust the word of a spy.

"I see no reason why you shouldn't then. After all I'm sure Cloud would appreciate your presence there rather than mine," Sephiroth explained. "If you trust this Reno then nothing should be of concern at this moment."

A smile appeared on Zack's face and he thanked the General before finally taking a drink of tea.

"I would like to ask you however," Sephiroth began while casting a quick glance at the other patrons who were all caught up in small talk of their own and enjoying their meals. "What do you plan to do about this matter exactly? It has been ongoing for some time now."

"I know," Zack replied with a sigh while dropping his gaze towards the table. "It's just that I...I need to know that my next move is flawless. I can't put Cloud in anymore danger."

"Understandable," Sephiroth said gently. "Although as a Samurai you do know that waiting too long to make a strike could be just as deadly."

Zack visibly winced at those words. Sephiroth was right, waiting for too long and hesitating could be even worse. But a careless move wasn't any better. No, it had to be thought out and executed just right if it was going to work. Whatever that move may be.

"I do know what I want to do though," Zack confessed while lowering his voice.

"Is that right?" Sephiroth asked while narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Yes," Zack replied without a bit of hesitance, "I want to leave Edo."

"Leave?" Sephiroth repeated in slight shock.

"A new start," Zack continued, "there's too much...too much going on now that I don't see how things could get better if Cloud remained here. I can't even say he's safe with his family, not when Saito...I can't keep him safe here, I know that."

_Can't keep him safe here..._

Perhaps Zack was right. The reason why Genesis was so threatened was because he resided in the castle's walls where the problem lied. No peace could ever come from there, and while Genesis family wasn't aware of the Shogun's actions it didn't make him safe at home really either. The only place he would've been safe was if he had been away from the castle. If Sephiroth had known...if he had taken Genesis away from the dreaded place, surely he still would've been with him in this life by his side.

"You would give up everything you have established here for him?" Sephiroth questioned while dropping jade eyes towards his tea cup.

"In a second," Zack quickly replied causing Sephiroth to turn his gaze back towards him. "I'm very grateful for what I've accomplished, and while I would love to achieve more...none of that would mean anything if I didn't have Cloud."

_That's right. None of this means anything, because I don't have..._

"I wanted to be Samurai ever since I was a kid," Zack continued. "But..." pausing briefly he let out a sigh before smiling a bit. "Not to be dramatic or anything but Cloud's my life. Always has been."

"It's not dramatic," Sephiroth said simply. "It's honest and I admire your loyalty to him."

"So you," Zack began with a tilt of his head, "don't think it's crazy? My idea to leave Edo with him?"

"I'll admit it will be dangerous," Sephiroth said matter of factly. "After all he is the son of a council member. However I respect that idea immensely."

"Angeal thinks...he's against it," Zack said with a frown.

"I imagine he would be," Sephiroth replied. "As I said, it is a dangerous move. And you being Angeal's pupil he does care about you, I know that he doesn't want any harm to come to you."

"I know," Zack started while scuffing a hand a through his hair. "And I don't want to upset him or cause him any stress but I..."

"You have to do what you think is best Zackary," Sephiroth cut in. "If you believe it's what you should do and Cloud is on board, despite what others may think you shouldn't let that hold you back."

'_By no means should you let it hold you back. If it means that the two of you can be happy together with that life, you shouldn't hesitate. Otherwise you may look back someday and be full of regret._'

* * *

Reclining against the pillow Cloud turned the page in the book he was reading while Mizu stretched out against him with a wide yawn. Reaching down Cloud petted him behind his ears as the cat began to purr. The little, usually shy cat who would hide out in Angeal's room had taken a great liking to Cloud. He would always stay near by him and loved to cuddle up beside him when he slept. Cloud loved it though, it reminded him of Tama and he greatly missed her.

Sighing he set the book down beside him and rubbed at his eyes a bit tiredly. It was already evening at this point and he probably should've gotten up to make something to eat but he was feeling rather lazy. Not to mention the silence in Angeal's spacious quarters made it all the more calming. And yet also lonely. True he was used to the quietness to an extent, but since he had been staying at Angeal's there was usually always someone else there, even if it was later in the evening. If not Angeal then Sephiroth, although Sephiroth tended to be pretty quiet for the most part. But his presence was comforting to Cloud, he felt safe when he was there.

And now that Angeal was away on assignment Cloud had to admit that he felt a little odd with knowing that he would be alone entirely for the next few days. Angeal had told him that Sephiroth would probably be by to check on him, but Cloud didn't know when exactly that may be. Though he appreciated it none the less. He was sure that both he and Angeal were aware that he was a bit upset with Zack being away from him, but he had to trust them when they said it was for the best right now.

The sound of the front door being slid open caused Cloud to sit up right away. He wasn't expecting the General so late in the evening, but maybe he figured he'd drop by after all of his duties were completed for the day.

"Cloud?" A voice asked into the quietness of the quarters.

Blinking Cloud looked over to the entryway. That wasn't Sephiroth's low, even voice. No, that voice belonged to...

"Zack," Cloud spoke just as the Samurai stepped into the room and gave the blond his best smile.

"Hey," Zack started while making his way over towards the other.

"What are you doing here?" Cloud asked in surprise as Zack took a seat beside him. "I thought you couldn't see me," he finished while throwing his arms around the others neck.

"Yeah," Zack replied softly while pulling the boy close and placing a kiss on top of his head, "but that's all been worked out now."

"I was worrying about you," Cloud admitted against Zack's neck. "Angeal didn't really tell me too much about what was going on."

"I'm sorry," Zack spoke. He hated putting Cloud through this. It was bad enough with the situation they were in, but he hated to add to Cloud's stress and worry when it came to himself. "We just had to take precaution."

"About what?" Cloud asked while pulling away so that he could look into Zack's eyes. "Are you...in some kind of trouble?"

"No," Zack quickly replied while running his fingers through blond hair. "No nothing like that. It's just Angeal realized that someone may have been following me because of an order from the Shogun. We just didn't want to lead them to you."

"Following you?" Cloud continued as his eyes widened briefly.

"It's fine," Zack confirmed while leaning in to place a kiss against the others lips. "Please don't worry about it."

Don't worry about it? How could he not?

"Zack," Cloud started but the Samurai quickly changed the topic. The last thing he wanted to do was to tell Cloud that it was Reno of all people who had been following him. That sort of information wasn't something he needed to know.

"How have things been these past few days?" Zack asked.

Cloud could tell that Zack clearly wanted to change the topic and he decided not to press it. He was just happy that Zack was able to come back to him now at least.

"Fine I guess," Cloud said with a sigh. "A bit dreary."

"Yeah," Zack started while running his hand through blond spikes, "I guess it's not too exciting here. But in time...this will all get sorted out."

In time? Was that true, did it really matter? Time wasn't going to change anything, his situation would still be the same. Was he just prolonging the inevitable? Just how long could he hide out in this place and avoid things? If anything he was probably just making it worse...

"It's already been weeks," Cloud mumbled.

"Hey," Zack started with a frown, "weeks or months it doesn't matter. As long as it takes to make sure you're safe."

"But I'm not really safe...am I?" Cloud asked while turning blue eyes back towards the other, "I'm hiding here but I'm not...safe. I can't live in seclusion forever."

There was a moment of silence that passed between them before Zack took Cloud's hands into his. He immediately thought back to his conversation with Sephiroth earlier. He couldn't keep waiting to strike, he had to make a move "Then we'll do what I said."

Staring back into blue eyes Cloud had a bit of a confused expression on his face. But after a few moments Zack's gaze finally conveyed it's meaning.

"Zack," Cloud began while pulling his hands away from the other and standing up to move away. "Stop it I said no already."

"Only because you're thinking the worst," Zack continued while following after Cloud and taking him by his shoulders before turning him around gently to face him. "I know what Angeal said, if they found us it would spell disaster. But Cloud do you realize what a big if that is? The places we could go is endless, if we get out of Edo that's it. They wouldn't even have any leads as to where we were, they wouldn't even know where to start."

"And if they did-"

"They won't," Zack interrupted, "You just have to trust me."

Glancing away Cloud started to shake his head. Leaving the castle and leaving Edo had been Zack's number one idea since Cloud had went to Angeal's. He thought the best thing to do was to cut all ties with the Shogunate. After Angeal had spoken about the flaws in that plan Zack seemed to be considering it for a moment, but in the end he still thought it was the best plan. He didn't seem to think twice about what he would be leaving behind. Family, friends, his position. It honestly shocked Cloud that Zack would so easily cast aside being Samurai...all for his sake. But Cloud just couldn't take the chance of any harm coming to Zack because of him, if anything happened to him Cloud would never forgive himself, even if the chances were low it was still too great of a risk in his opinion.

"I can't risk that," Cloud spoke aloud, "I just can't Zack, you can't...ask me to do that."

"I'm not asking you to take a risk," Zack replied without missing a beat, "I'm asking you...to trust me."

"Zack," Cloud started while lifting his gaze upwards.

"Think about it for a while," Zack spoke quietly while wrapping an arm around the others waist, "really think about it."

"I can't...I mean..." still wanting to protest the matter in some way Cloud placed his hands against the others chest. "Say if we did...when exactly would we leave?"

"The moment you agree to it I'll set it all up," Zack explained seriously.

"How? And I can't just walk out of here after being "missing" all of this time," Cloud explained.

"Sneaking you out of here won't be a problem," Zack replied with a raise of his eyebrow. "I'll pack what we can and anything else we'll get later. I have enough saved up for us to get by for awhile with no problem, and finding work won't be an issue."

Looking into Zack's eyes Cloud searched them for any hint of reservation or doubt but he couldn't find any. Zack seemed more than secure with the words he was speaking.

"I can keep you safe out there on our own," Zack continued. "I'll provide for the both of us."

"It's not only that," Cloud said with a shake of his head, "what about our families? Once word got out that we ran away together both of our families would-"

"Don't," Zack replied while cupping the boys face in his hand, "you're just thinking it over, don't say anything else about it right now. Okay?"

Holding Zack's gaze Cloud gave a brief nod before Zack leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against his lips.

Letting out a soft sigh after the kiss was broke Cloud wrapped his arms around the other, pressing the side of his face against the Samurai's strong chest.

"I missed you," Cloud spoke softly. Even if it had only been a matter of days, with his constant worrying it felt like much longer.

"I missed you too," Zack replied. "And so you're sure everything's been okay?"

"Yes...well sort of," Cloud started, "General Sephiroth came over a few days ago...actually I ran into him in the hall when I was chasing Mizu after he snuck out."

"What?" Zack asked while pulling away and looking at Cloud with wide eyes, "you left out of here?"

"I know," Cloud began while slipping away from Zack and taking a seat, "I know it was a stupid thing to do the General already told me that. I just didn't want to lose Angeal's cat."

"Cloud," Zack spoke while running his hands through his hair before taking a seat beside the smaller one. "You can't do that...ever again. Do you know how high the security is now since you've been reported missing?"

"I know," Cloud said again while shutting his eyes momentarily, "I wasn't thinking it through that much but...at least I wasn't seen. Well aside from the General but...I guess it's all okay."

"Don't worry Angeal told him not to say anything," Zack confirmed with a nod.

"Yes but he told him...everything," Cloud said gently while dropping his eyes to the ground.

_'Everything'_

"I know," Zack started as he processed that information."But he had a reason to."

"Zack I don't want this getting out anymore than it has to," Cloud admitted while looking back to Zack with sad eyes.

"And it's not," Zack started comfortingly while pulling Cloud into his arms. "It stops at the General I know it. I'll make sure of it. And besides Angeal wouldn't go spreading things around you know that."

"I know," Cloud replied softly.

Leaning in the Samurai placed a kiss between golden eyebrows before tilting the others chin up and kissing him gently. They parted after a few seconds but remained just inches away from each other, and then Zack was leaning in once more. Cloud felt his heartbeat speed up and he didn't really know why for a moment. After all it wasn't as if a kiss between them was anything new, but then he realized that it had been _awhile_ since they had shared any real lingering kisses. They had been brief or even chaste. Not that it was necessarily planned not to have anything more than that, but with everything that had happened lately it was as if there just wasn't any room for it.

When he felt Zack's tongue run along the seam of his lips he slowly opened his mouth and nearly flinched when their tongues met.

Flinch...but why? True it had been a while since they had kissed this way, but was such a reaction warranted? He pushed it from his thoughts as he slid his hands across the Samurai's chest before carefully hooking his arms around his neck. He felt one of Zack's arms encircle his waist while his other hand gently moved though his hair. They stayed locked in their passionate kiss and Cloud started to feel lightheaded. Whenever they kissed this way it had that effect on him, slow and gentle. Not rushed and forceful like...

His eyes snapped open and he broke the kiss before pulling himself closer to Zack so that his face was hidden against his shoulder.

_'Rushed and forceful like...why would that pop into my head now?' _

Zack changed the direction of his kiss when Cloud pulled him closer, and instead began to press kisses against his neck. Cloud felt a shiver run through his body and he clutched at Zack's back as he felt the others hands move down to rest at his waist. The shiver had left a prickly feeling on his skin and he realized that his heart hadn't stopped racing. And while these things might've been what he normally felt when he was with Zack...there was something else that seemed off and he couldn't quite place his finger on it.

"Zack," he started softly. What he wanted to say after that he wasn't sure...but he just...

He found himself against the floor a second later, Zack still trailing gentle kisses across his neck and collar bone before ending back at his lips. Cloud's eyes fell close once more and he wound his fingers in dark raven hair. Whatever strange feeling he was having he needed to shake it off, it was just his mind being overly active. This was...okay. This was right, nothing was happening that should make him feel uneasy or odd in anyway. This was...Zack.

It wasn't until Zack's hand moved to his obi that some sense of dread washed over him. He remembered struggling and screaming and his eyes quickly snapped open. And for a moment...just for a _moment_ he didn't see Angeal's quarters, but instead a large dark room. And he wasn't staring into blue eyes, but instead...

Gasping he quickly pushed at Zack's chest and his eyes widened.

"Cloud?" Zack asked curiously while pulling back and looking down to the blond. His face had completely paled and he had a distant look in his eyes. He wasn't even looking at Zack, but more through him.

"Cloud," Zack continued while taking Cloud's face into his hands. "Look at me, what's wrong?"

Blinking rapidly as if waking up from a dream Cloud looked around the room. That's right...he was at Angeal's. He was with Zack, he was...fine. Or...was he?

"I'm sorry," he finally spoke while sitting up and pulling away from Zack's grasp.

"Don't apologize," Zack quickly replied, "are you okay?"

"I'm...fine," Cloud replied with a bit of a waver in his voice. "I just..." he trailed off while moving to stand up to his feet.

Zack felt his stomach drop and he instantly cursed himself. Did he do something wrong? Surely he did, Cloud was fine just moments before and now he was retracting. Did he...hurt him somehow?

"Cloud I'm sorry," he quickly blurted while reaching out for Cloud's hand and catching his fingers.

"Please don't touch me," Cloud snapped while snatching his hand away from Zack's. He caught the worried and hurt look on the others face and he shook his head. "I just meant that..."

What did he mean? That he couldn't allow Zack's touch because it in someway reminded him of...the Shogun? No...no, never that. But then why did he...

His mind was a mess, he didn't understand what he was feeling really but he just knew that something was wrong. Was he really so messed up? He opened his mouth to say something more but then he realized he didn't have any words to express his thoughts. Without hesitating another second he made his way down the hall and into the den.

Zack felt a strong urge to go after him but he suppressed it. Clearly he had over stepped some boundary. He didn't mean to do anything to make Cloud feel uncomfortable, he hadn't even really meant to...

Clenching his hand into a fist he hit the ground before raking his hands through his hair. How could he have been so foolish? Of course Cloud would be uncomfortable in a situation like that, after what he had been through. It was something that Zack didn't like to think about, in fact he tried to push it far from his mind ever since he had learned about what the Shogun had done. But fact remained that it couldn't go ignored, and while he hated to think of it...he could only imagine how Cloud felt.

He wanted to take away Cloud's pain, but he had no clue on how to do that. And he often wondered if it would in fact ever truly go away. He hoped with everything in him that it would, but he couldn't be sure. But the one thing he did know was that he never wanted to contribute to it...and he was begining to wonder if he had. He didn't mean to scare Cloud. Letting out a sigh he went against his first decision to give Cloud a little room. He had to make sure that he was alright. So standing up to his feet he made his way down the hall and stopped in front of the sliding door that led to the den.

Lifting his hand to open the door he stopped midway. "Cloud?" He asked carefully, "can I come in?"

He heard some shuffling on the other side of the door but he didn't receive a response. That sinking feeling in his stomach returned and he slowly opened the door. He saw Cloud looking out the window with his back facing him.

"Don't," came Cloud's small voice. Zack didn't need to see his face to tell that he was crying, he could always tell just from the sound of his voice.

"Cloud," Zack started while slowly approaching the window. He stopped next to the blond but gave a bit of distance between them. "Please...I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

Wiping at his eyes Cloud shook his head. "You didn't hurt me," he replied.

Zack wanted to reach out and wipe the tears away from Cloud's eyes, tears that he had caused no less. But he knew that he shouldn't. "In some way I did," he explained, "and I'm...sorry. That's the last thing I wanted to do, but I didn't think."

Turning blue eyes toward the Samurai Cloud's heart broke a little. He hated seeing Zack look so sad, thinking that he had done something to cause him pain. Zack wasn't to blame, he hadn't done anything. No, the truth was that it was himself. He was so messed up that he couldn't even differentiate between things anymore. Was he honestly so damaged? Zack didn't deserve someone so broken.

"Please don't," Cloud said while moving away from the window and over to the cabinet. "Don't apologize anymore."

Zack watched the smaller one as he rifled through the cabinet before carefully speaking. "I have to apologize," Zack said softly, "otherwise I don't know how to fix this."

"You don't have to fix anything Zack!" Cloud shouted while retrieving a bottle of sake from the cabinet. "You didn't do anything! The only thing that needs to be fixed...is me."

Zack's eyes widened and he made his way over to the cabinet. "What are you talking about?"

Cloud was silent for a moment but the tears continued to fall from his eyes. "I mean...me. I'm...I don't know."

"You don't need to be _fixed_ Cloud," Zack said sternly and yet gently.

"Yes I do," Cloud continued. "As much as I want to believe that I don't I know that I do...I'm not who I was."

"Cloud that's-"

"You don't see it maybe but it's true," Cloud began while looking directly into blue eyes. "I've been broken ever since that night...you could never understand."

_Never understand..._

Those words would forever stay with him. Cloud was right, he would never understand. Not in the way that Cloud did. But he did feel what Cloud did in someway. He may have not been broken in the sense that Cloud felt he was, but the fact that Cloud was hurt also tore at Zack.

"I can't understand, and I won't pretend that I do," Zack started softly while reaching out and taking the bottle of sake away from Cloud who simply let it go without protest. "But you're not-"

"I am!" Cloud shouted, "don't you see that? And no matter how hard I try or what I do it'll probably always be like that! I can't even kiss you without replaying what happened! That's not...how can I...I'm too messed up to even...you deserve better than-"

"Stop it," Zack quickly cut in while pulling Cloud into his arms. "Don't finish that sentence."

Immediately placing his arms around the Samurai Cloud buried his face in his chest.

"Don't say anymore," Zack continued gently as he tightened his arms around the blond. He wasn't about to let Cloud say anything more damaging about himself. No, he wouldn't allow him to. He wasn't going to let the Shogun's actions break and shatter the one he loved most.

"I love you more than anything Cloud," Zack started softly, "and I always will no matter what. You do understand that don't you?"

A small whimper escaped from Cloud and he hid his face more against the Samurai.

"You're perfect to me," Zack continued while placing a soft kiss in blond spikes. "No matter what you may think, I love you more and more each day and nothing will change that. And if you say that you're broken, I'll be right here to put you back together."

Cloud cried harder at those words and he clenched Zack's back with his fingers.

"I'll never leave your side," Zack spoke with a shake of his head. "I only want you...I need you."

"Zack," Cloud cried while pulling away only to wrap his arms tightly around the Samurai's neck. "I need you too."

"I'm right here," Zack replied gently. "I always will be."

Nodding Cloud held on tighter before whispering "I love you" in Zack's ear. The words that he had spoken came from his heart, and he would say them as much as he needed to to get across to Cloud that he was loved. That he wasn't worthless, and most of all that he would always be the most important person in Zack's life. No matter what the Shogun had done, it would never break their love.

"Okay," Cloud said quietly.

"Hmm?" Zack questioned softly while pressing a kiss to Cloud's temple.

"Okay," Cloud repeated while pulling away slightly so that he could look into Zack's eyes. "Let's do it then...let's leave this all behind us."

Wiping away the others tears Zack furrowed his brows as he focused on Cloud's words. Leave it all behind? So then...did he mean?

Searching his eyes Zack spoke up. "Are you sure?"

Nodding a few more tears spilled from Cloud's eyes. "I can't do this anymore," he confessed softly. "And everything here reminds me of...a past that I don't want to be my future. You're my future, that's all I need."

He wanted to be happy again. He wanted to live life without a sense of fear and paranoia. He didn't want to have to be on edge with wondering what would happen if he were to be found at Angeal's. And more than that he didn't want to accept a fate that he was sure to fall into if he were to be sent back home. That was no way to live, and he couldn't accept it so easily. And while he did have his doubts about leaving Edo, as long as he was with Zack...he would take his chances.

"Then we'll leave," Zack replied while catching the others tears before Cloud was leaning back against him again and being wrapped securely in his arms.

_Take me far away from here...and finally wake me up from this nightmare._

* * *

__**Authors note:** Hey everyone! So alas here is chapter 19! I'm sorry if it's a bit shorter than usual but it was going to be massively long if I didn't cut it here. As the next chapter has much happening! Poor Cloud, even now the thoughts of the Shogun still plague him. But at least he agreed to leave Edo! That's the answer isn't it? Zack whisking Cloud away to safety from the Shogun! Will Angeal be happy about this? And is Sephiroth's thoughts on Reno correct, can you really trust the word of someone like him? Hmm, guess we will see! Also, I am going to try to stick to a schedule of updating, and that will be updates on the 10th of the month or the 20th. I really wanted to do every two weeks but I'm not sure if that's exactly doable with my schedule, but I am going to try! Hopefully with a date people will know what to expect. Well enough rambling from me, until next time! Thanks so much for reading and your guys awesome reviews!


	20. Blank Canvas

Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of it's lovely characters.

Some words to know: Sugegasa- A simple style of conical hat originating in East and South East Asia.

* * *

"I hope you're full because there isn't anymore," Cloud spoke while blinking at Zack's empty plate.

Setting down his chopsticks Zack gave a grin towards Cloud before leaning back on his hands.

"I'm stuffed, it was delicious," Zack replied with a pat to his stomach.

Cloud gave a bit of a chuckle before shaking his head. "I forgot just how much you can eat." He had made dinner that evening for the two of them and had made what he _thought_ was a good amount but once the Samurai started in on his dish he was beginning to wonder if he really had.

"Yeah, think you'll be able to handle it?" Zack asked, "After all I'm going to have to rely on you for my meals now."

Pausing in taking a bite of Udon a smile spread across Cloud's face before he let out a laugh in which Zack joined in.

"I guess that is true," Cloud said while finishing off his soup. They both were aware that Zack didn't know how to cook in the slightest, and once they left from Edo and were on their own that task was going to be completely up to Cloud. Though he didn't mind it at all honestly, and truthfully "preparing meals" wasn't on the top of the list when it came to his concerns. Even though he had agreed just a couple days ago on leaving Edo he was still more than a bit on edge about the whole thing. No matter how much Zack assured him that things would be fine, he couldn't help but to worry. The moment that the Shogun or his father was aware that Zack was gone, they would surely put together the pieces. They would know that his sudden disappearance was in conjunction with Cloud's being gone as well, and once word of that spread they would surely send people out to find them. And that was what Cloud was dreading. What would happen if they were found? No...no he knew what would happen if they were found, Angeal had clearly explained that to them. And knowing that...if anything happened to Zack...

Clearing his throat he quickly tried to dismiss those thoughts as he set about clearing the table. He couldn't think that way, he had to trust Zack when he said that things would be fine. And he knew that there wasn't really any other option, he couldn't stay in the castle anymore, he couldn't.

"That reminds me, tomorrow I'll stop into town and grab a few things that we should have before leaving," Zack explained while reaching out to pet Mizu who had recently plopped down beside him, stretching out his limbs with a small yawn.

Nodding from inside the kitchen Cloud set down the dishes on the counter before begining to wash them. "You should be careful though...I mean, you don't want to tip anyone off."

"It won't be anything to alert someone, just some essentials," Zack replied. "We need to travel lightly anyways."

"I'm...wondering what Angeal will say about all of this," Cloud said softly while running the dish rag along a plate. Angeal had been away on an assignment these past few days but he would be arriving back home within the next day or so, and Cloud was pretty sure that he wasn't going to be thrilled about their plan. After all he was the one who had talked Zack out of it the first time he suggested it.

"He won't necessarily like it but he'll respect it," Zack began while shifting his gaze towards Cloud. He watched him as he moved about the kitchen and a small smile tugged at his lips. Just the simple thought of knowing that he and Cloud would be together, away from all of this, just the two of them like they were now was enough to make him truly happy. That alone made him realize that he was indeed making the right decision.

Standing up to his feet he began making his way into the kitchen before stopping behind Cloud and running his hand along his arm.

"But let me be the one to tell him okay?" Zack continued while leaning down and pressing a kiss to blond spikes.

Nodding Cloud agreed. He wasn't entirely sure how that conversation would go and figured it would be best if Angeal heard it from Zack, after all they were much closer.

"What are you doing?" Cloud asked with a bit of a chuckle when he felt strong arms wrap around his waist and the weight of Zack's chin resting on his shoulder.

"Nothing," Zack replied, "just wanted to be near you."

Cloud's heart skipped a beat at those words. Despite the strange situation that had transpired a few days ago, Zack hadn't faltered at all. He was still just as sweet and loving towards Cloud as he always had been. Not that Cloud had expected that to change, but he guessed in the back of his mind he was still sort of thinking that Zack would view him differently. Damaged, tainted...but no. Those thoughts all belonged to Cloud, and never once had crossed Zack's mind. And even with Zack's reassurance it still lurked around in Cloud's head. But he knew that eventually they would go away.

Turning his head to look towards Zack he gave a smile before leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

"Well if you want to be near me you may as well make yourself useful," he spoke while handing Zack a clean dish to put away.

"Fair enough," Zack said with a laugh while taking the dish away from Cloud and putting it away.

Things weren't perfect, by _far_ were they perfect. But at least...at least maybe they were returning to normal? And perhaps once they were out of the castle walls, they could be for sure.

* * *

"Welcome back Angeal!" Zack beamed as his mentor stepped into the home. Pausing he stared back at the other, surprised to see him there. He thought they had decided that Zack should stay away for a while...but who was he kidding? It would take alot to keep Zack away from the blond. He gave a nod of acknowledgment to the raven haired youth before letting out a tired sigh. He had been off on assignment the past few days, and while the actual assignment wasn't exactly difficult it had taken up alot of time and left him feeling exhausted. But that wasn't anything that he wasn't used too.

"How is everything?" Angeal asked as he entered further into the living room taking in the surroundings. A moment later a blur of blond caught his attention and he turned just in time to see Cloud give him a bow.

"Welcome home Angeal," Cloud spoke softly with a smile. " I just made tea would you like some?"

"That would be nice, thank you," Angeal replied just as he took up a seat across the table from Zack.

"Did you see Sephiroth yet?" Zack asked. "Earlier today there was a meeting and he mentioned needing to run some things by you."

"No no yet," Angeal said just as Cloud re entered the room carrying a tray with a teapot and cups atop it.

"However as soon as I stepped foot back on the grounds the Shogun wanted to address the issues of the castles security. And wanted to discuss the new approach when it came to Cloud's whereabouts."

Cloud seemed to falter in his movements when that was brought up. He shakily placed the small teacups before the two men before carefully filling them each with steaming green tea.

"Yeah," Zack spoke while shifting concerned blue eyes onto the smaller one. He could easily read the shift in Cloud's demeanor when those words were spoken, even though they both knew it would be coming up sooner or later.

"That was mentioned during the meeting today also," Zack continued.

"I see," Angeal started in understanding. "Since it's beginning to become a major point of interest, I believe some sort of resolution needs to be established quickly."

"I agree," Zack began with a nod. "And that's what I wanted to discuss with you as soon as you arrived back."

"Oh?" Angeal asked while taking a sip of his drink.

"Yes," Zack said while shifting his gaze back to Cloud once more. Cloud finally lifted his gaze and blue eyes pierced into blue. Zack could see that Cloud was nervous, and even possibly second guessing. But Zack was going to take care of things from here on out, he had promised that to Cloud.

"We've discussed it for a long time, and we've decided that we're leaving Edo."

There was a thick silence that filled the room after that. Cloud lowered his gaze to the table, not seeming to be able to look in Angeal's eyes. What would he find hiding behind them? Would he be upset? Yes, of course he would be. After all he had made his feelings on the matter very clear early on. And Cloud understood his feelings, really he did. Even now, though he had agreed to it, he still had his concerns. He probably always would, but if he trusted anyone in the world at all...it was Zack. And if he said things would be okay, to trust him, then Cloud would do exactly that. He was putting his life... no not even his life, Zack's life also...everything was in his hands. But Cloud trusted his heart, soul and body to this man, so really, what reasons did he have to doubt him any longer?

"Absolutely not."

Blinking Cloud slowly lifted his eyes toward Angeal. The man had an unreadable expression on his face but his eyes were locked onto the younger Samurai.

"Angeal," Zack started calmly, "this isn't something that we just thought up. We've given it alot of-"

"Time and thought isn't the issue," Angeal interrupted. "Cloud, would you give us a moment?"

"Of course," Cloud spoke quietly with a brief bow before moving to rise from the table. But Zack's arm shot out in front of him to keep him seated where he was.

"Don't dismiss him," Zack started seriously. "This situation involves Cloud just as much, he shouldn't be left out."

Cloud's eyes widened slightly and he opened his mouth to protest in some way but after a moment he closed it.

Angeal narrowed his eyes at Zack briefly before shifting his gaze towards Cloud.

"Very well," he said with a sigh. "You wish to remain here Cloud?"

"I would much appreciate it if you wouldn't mind," Cloud said with a nod. He should be there at Zack's side, after all Zack was right, it was both of them in it together.

Angeal gave a nod, "I warn you I will speak candidly about this."

"I understand," Cloud replied. He had been expecting this much. Once he and Zack had decided that they were in fact going to leave Edo, one of the big things had been how they were going to tell Angeal. Zack had an immense amount of respect for his mentor, and he wasn't about to just up and leave without letting Angeal know about it. And Cloud wouldn't dream of doing such a thing either. Angeal had protected him and helped him so much when he had no real obligation to do so. Cloud would forever be grateful to him.

"I've told you my feelings about this," Angeal continued while reaching forward to pour himself more tea.

"You have," Zack replied, "and I understand and respect them. But it's something that has to be done."

"Surely there are other alternatives," Angeal spoke up with a shake of his head, "you just haven't looked hard enough."

"I have," Zack corrected. "Day and night the only thing on my mind is trying to find an answer for this. And the only thing that comes to the forefront is leaving here."

"It's suicide, Zack," Angeal said directly. "Not only would it be dangerous in general, but even more so now that Shogun suspects that you know something."

"Even if he does suspect that I know, it wouldn't matter either way," Zack explained. "By the time he started to put it all together Cloud and I would be far away."

"How far do you honestly expect to get when you already had an assassin following you?"

_What?_

"Assassin?" Cloud asked while keeping his eyes on Angeal for a moment before turning to Zack. "What does that mean?"

"You failed to share that bit of information?" Angeal asked with a shake of his head. "If you say that Cloud needs to not be left out on matters, then that should apply to everything."

"Zack?" Cloud asked with wide blue eyes.

Letting out a sigh Zack briefly scuffed a hand through his hair. "I told you about this, remember when I said that we thought someone may have been following me? And that's why I had to stay away for a while, but everything is fine with that so you don't have to worry."

"Not sure that should be so casually brushed aside," Angeal spoke with a slight raise of his eyebrow.

"I know what you're doing Angeal," Zack said with a bit of an irritated tone.

"You mean trying to get one of you to understand the voice of reason?" Angeal asked.

"I never said, nor do I _think_ that it'll be easy," Zack started, "but it's possible and it'll work."

"Honestly," Angeal said with a sigh while rubbing his temples. "Im surprised you would go along with this Cloud."

"Well I," Cloud started uncertainly before clearing his throat. "I've thought alot about it, and at first I really was against it. But Zack feels as if it's the best choice and I...trust him."

"Is that so?" Angeal asked, "no matter the cost? Seems rather selfish to me."

"Angeal," Zack began as his eyes widened and he leaned forward on the table.

"Zack," Angeal cut in while raising a hand to silence his pupil. "You don't see this as a selfish act Cloud? Fleeing Edo while yes may surely give you some sense of safety and security...that's about it. You obtain security, for a while anyways. And in the meantime place Zack's life in the highest amount of danger. The end result is always the same, they find you and bring you back here. Whether they bring Zack here or not is another issue, if they did his fate is always the same in the end."

"Angeal stop it," Zack broke in quietly. He was getting more angry by the second, but still trying to remain respectful. But the picture he was painting was obviously getting to Cloud. He could see the worry and fear already creeping onto his face.

"He'll die out there trying to protect you if they come across you, or be put to death here if they bring him back. And in the end...you're right back where you started. But without the one you say you love so much."

"Enough!" Zack finally bit out while slamming his hand down on the table.

"You're right, it is enough," Angeal continued calmly. "Enough talk of this flawed plan. Don't you agree Cloud?"

"Alright," Zack said before Cloud had a chance to respond. He wasn't going to put him through this any longer, he already knew that Cloud still struggled with the decision. He was on board with leaving Edo yes, but he was still worried about it. And Angeal knew it, that was the reason he was playing off of those fears.

"Maybe it is better if you give Angeal and I a moment," Zack explained while wrapping an arm around Cloud's shoulders and squeezing him gently.

Cloud remained unmoving for a minute before looking up at Zack and giving a broken nod. He received a kiss on the top of his head before he stood up and quietly excused himself before retreating to the den. Once the sound of the door sliding closed was heard off in the distance Zack turned an icy gaze back towards Angeal.

"That was low," Zack spoke quietly.

Letting out a sigh Angeal nodded. "That it was, and I apologize for the insensitivity on the matter but I needed to get my point across."

"Scaring Cloud by highlighting the worse possible scenarios is a bad point to try to make," Zack explained while resting both his elbows on the table.

"If that's what I must do to make him reconsider than I'll do so," Angeal replied casually.

"Angeal," Zack began with a groan of frustration. "I know you're against this but please try to understand, and respect _my_ view on it."

"I do understand, and I see your view clearly. You're willing to do anything it takes to protect Cloud, and you _will_ do anything."

Zack gave a nod and Angeal continued.

"And yet you still don't really see what I mean."

Furrowing his eyebrows Zack shook his head. "That's not true I-"

"You are so focused on _Cloud's_ well being and keeping him safe. Meanwhile who is doing that for you?"

A confused expression crossed Zack's face before his mentor spoke up.

"Me," Angeal stated. "Which is why I will not agree to this."

Blinking Zack tilted his head as he let the others words sink in. While he was looking out for Cloud...Angeal was looking out for him? He supposed he never really viewed it that way, but in retrospect he realized that it was fully true. Ever since he had become Angeal's pupil that had been true. Angeal always kept a cautious eye out on Zack. Whether that was from when he was younger and simply training or to now when he was a Samurai and on assignment. He may try to be discreet about it, but fact was that he did.

They had a close relationship, always had. And they were definitely much closer than other mentors and their pupils. Angeal figured it was only normal though, anybody would be drawn to Zack's bubbly and energetic personality. It was impossible not to. And perhaps Zack filled a void in Angeal's heart that he thought couldn't be replaced when he lost Genesis. Maybe that was the true reason.

"What?" Zack asked with a faint smile, "you don't believe that you taught me well enough?"

Holding Zack's gaze Angeal gave him a pointed look and Zack let out a small laugh.

"Angeal...I can do this."

Letting out a sigh Angeal pinched the bridge of his nose. Zack's skills weren't debatable, he was a skilled fighter. But even the most skilled fighter would be in trouble if outnumbered. But...Zack was loyal. It was one of the things that Angeal admired most about his pupil. And he knew that his loyalty to Cloud was the greatest by far. And in the back of Angeal's mind he knew no matter how much he disagreed and tried to talk Zack out of this plan...it would do no good. Mentor or not, Zack was growing up and he had to follow his own path.

"If you insist on going along with this...I want to be apart of planning it out. There can't be any holes at all in this."

* * *

"Zack?" Leaning over the Samurai's form Cloud gave a bit of a huff when he realized that Zack was fast asleep. They had gone to bed awhile ago but Cloud just couldn't seem to fall asleep. He had so much on his mind. It was the night before they were planning to leave Edo and he had so much anxiety inside of him.

"Zack," he started again while gently shaking the other by the shoulder. He felt guilty about waking him up when he was sleeping so peacefully, but he needed to talk. He had to voice his concerns.

"Mm," Zack mumbled while shifting slightly and pulling the blanket up higher. But he still didn't open his eyes and Cloud sat up fully before running his fingers gently through raven hair.

"Please wake up," Cloud said softly.

Blinking open his eyes from the gentle touch and soft voice Zack let his gaze fall onto the smaller one.

"Cloud?" He asked questioningly while pushing himself up a bit, "what's the matter?"

"I can't sleep," Cloud admitted with a shake of his head. "I'm...worried."

"Worried?" Zack asked while rubbing at his eyes briefly.

"I just don't know...if this is the right thing. Maybe Angeal's right," Cloud explained quietly.

Sitting up fully Zack pulled Cloud into his arms before placing a kiss on top of his head.

"It's going to be fine," Zack said comfortingly once he realized what had Cloud so nervous. "You have nothing to worry about. Angeal's fine with it now. And we've all planned it out."

Cloud was aware of all that though. For the past week ever since Angeal decided to not fight Zack on the issue anymore, they had been planning. All of them. Angeal, Sephiroth and Zack. Putting together the most flawless plan that they could manage and pulling their resources. They had seemed to plan everything out to the last detail. But even so, with it being the night before they were to execute it...Cloud was thinking of every little thing that could possibly go wrong.

"I know I just..." trailing off Cloud closed his eyes and let out a sigh. He couldn't formulate the words that he wanted to say. Or rather he felt like he would just be repeating what he had been saying all along, and he had told himself that he couldn't do that any longer.

"I know." Zack replied while threading his fingers through golden spikes. Cloud didn't have to say anything, he could easily understand his feelings. Despite what he said he knew that Cloud would still be nervous and fearful. And well...he couldn't blame him. It was a scary experience, he could understand that. And for Cloud who hadn't ventured any further than into town ever since he had moved into Edo castle...it was a big transition. Edo was what he knew, he was going to be leaving everything and basically everyone that he knew behind. Who wouldn't be a bit worried?

"Are you sad?" Cloud suddenly asked while curling his arm around Zack's waist.

"Why would I be?" Zack asked softly while resting his chin on top of blond hair.

"I don't know I...thought that you might be. Especially since you won't technically be Samurai anymore."

Letting out a quiet sigh Zack began to run his hand up and down his lovers back. "No,I'm not sad about that."

"Maybe not now," Cloud responded while tightening his hold.

"What?" Zack asked while pulling away to stare down into blue eyes. Cloud held his gaze for a moment before he was looking away at nothing in particular. "Cloud?"

"It's just...I don't want you to someday...resent me for making you abandon what you love," Cloud finally admitted.

Zack felt his heart clench at those words. How could Cloud ever think that? Resent him? It wasn't possible, and he wasn't _making_ him do anything. Zack was doing this because he wanted to, because Cloud meant far more to him than any titles and status ever could. Even now, with everything that had happened, with all that Cloud had been through...in the end he was still thinking about Zack's feelings and not his own. How could Zack not feel anything else but an infinite amount of love for such an individual?

"But I'm not abandoning what I love," Zack started as Cloud looked up to meet his gaze. "You'll be with me."

Seeming to pause for a moment Cloud kept his eyes fixed on Zack's before a wide smile spread across his face.

"Zack," he said with a small laugh as the other joined in.

"It's true," Zack confirmed while squeezing the boy tighter before pulling him back down with him. He carefully pulled the blankets back over them before wrapping his arms around Cloud once more. "Try to sleep...I'm right here, don't worry anymore."

"Okay," Cloud replied softly while pulling himself closer to Zack's warmth. He didn't know what the next day and the days following would bring...but as long as he was with Zack, he wouldn't worry...not anymore.

* * *

The sun had just set shortly before and Cloud found himself pacing around in Angeal's quarters. He had been alone the majority of the day, Zack and Angeal left out in the morning as they usually had to attend to their regular duties so as not to cause any suspicion. But sometime during the day Cloud knew they were going to be finalizing the preparations. And once night fell Sephiroth would be coming to Angeal's quarters to get Cloud. That was all he really knew, the three men had planned it out themselves, telling Cloud only what he absolutely needed to know. But he preferred it that way honestly, after all executing missions wasn't his forte.

Mizu had been pacing around right along with him, almost as is if he also knew that something was happening. Looking about the place Cloud took it all in one last time. It was strange to be leaving here, after all he had been staying there for a few weeks now. And he hadn't stepped foot into the castle since that night when he had essentially ran away. This place, despite the circumstances, had become Cloud's safe haven...and he was going to miss it.

The sound of the front door sliding open made him freeze in his tracks and soft footsteps approached the living room. Stepping into the room the General nodded to him before Cloud gave a bow.

"Do you have everything?" The man asked while walking over to the window and peering out down at its surroundings.

"Yes," Cloud said with a nod. In all honesty he had everything ready the night before. It wasn't as if he had much anyways. The only items he had was what he had come there with, along with a few things that Zack had picked up for him in town. Whatever else he would get would be along the way.

"Very well then," Sephiroth spoke while making his way across the room and blowing out all the oil lamps except for one.

"There is a distinct route we will be taking, you need to stay behind me at all times and be quiet. If we happen to come along anyone let me handle it and do exactly as I say."

"Understood," Cloud replied while picking up his small bag and preparing to follow Sephiroth towards the front door. "Oh wait," he started before turning back and picking up a folded piece of paper from off of the table and securing it in his bag.

Sephiroth gave him a questioning look and so Cloud explained.

"It's a letter that I wrote...I was going to give it to Angeal...I will see him right?"

"Yes," Sephiroth replied just as they stopped at the door. "Stay close to me," he repeated and Cloud nodded once more. But instead of opening the door like Cloud expected him to, green eyes stayed fixed on him for a moment longer and a finger was placed beneath his chin before tilting it up.

"Zack will keep you safe. Listen to him...and one day forget all about this place."

_Forget all about this place..._

Blue eyes widened briefly and Cloud swallowed. Sephiroth was right, if he wanted to move on, truly move on and forge a new life...he had to one day forget..._truly_ forget. He felt the sting of tears but he quickly blinked his eyes before nodding. He saw something flicker in the General's gaze, albeit something subtle but he caught it. This man, he had wondered about it before but still never knew why he helped. He had assumed it was just because he was close to Angeal, but that couldn't have been it all. And from his eyes just now, he wondered just what it was Sephiroth saw him in. A part of him wanted to ask, but he knew it wasn't his place to do so.

Sliding open the door Sephiroth stepped out into the hall before motioning for Cloud to follow. And true to his word Cloud stuck right behind him, even daring to reach out and grab the back of his kimono with a shaky hand. They walked further down the corridor before Sephiroth was stopping at what appeared to be a dead end, but there was a small space between the end of the wall and the hallway and Sephiroth began to squeeze into the space. Cloud let go of Sephiroth as he realized he was going to have to turn sideways to fit into the narrow space. After emerging from the other side he could barely make out the figure in front of him because no light seemed to reach this space. Glancing back down the narrow passageway that they had just gone through he could make out a little light at the end but that was it. He heard what sounded like a heavy door being pulled open and he looked back in the direction where Sephiroth should've been. Once the sound came to a stop however he blindly began to reach out in front of him.

"Sephiroth?" He asked while taking a tentative step forward and his hands landed on a firm body.

"I'm here," Sephiroth replied as he fiddled around with something. "Stay put, there's stairs."

Halting at those words Cloud glanced around, although it proved futile because he could barely make out a thing. Then suddenly a small light emerged, illuminating just a bit of space but much better than before. Raising the small lamp from off of the wall Sephiroth held it out before them and began to make his way down to the stone spiral stairs. Cloud couldn't help but to wonder just what part of the castle they were in. The further down they went the more cold it seemed to grow, and the whole place just seemed to radiate dampness and silence.

"Where are we?" Cloud finally had to ask.

"Making our way underneath the castle," Sephiroth replied quietly.

Under the castle? Well that explained the absolute darkness and the cold. Perhaps it was some secret way in case of a raid or battle? Cloud wasn't sure, but he figured he shouldn't keep asking questions.

They reached the bottom of the stairs and now the room seemed to be just a bit wider but still not by very much, and Cloud still had no clue just how much they had in front of them. But he figured if they were walking the length of the castle then they had a bit of ways to go.

The space was completely silent aside from their soft footsteps and what sounded like water dripping, but ever so often Cloud thought he heard a squeaking sound. He didn't think much of it until he felt something run over his foot causing him to gasp and jump a little.

"Cloud?" Sephiroth asked while stopping and holding the lantern up behind him to see the smaller one.

"Something touched my foot," Cloud explained quietly.

Sephiroth was sure that there was nobody else down there, he would've sensed it long ago. So he was sure that what Cloud felt was a mouse.

"There are mice down here, watch your step," Sephiroth spoke calmly.

"Mice?" Cloud asked with wide eyes as he looked towards the floor.

"Mm, you haven't heard them all this time?" Sephiroth asked.

Brushing at his arms for a reason he didn't know Cloud shook his head before it hit him. Those tiny squeaks were the mice! He didn't have much experience with mice. So many of the residents in the castle owned cats, there were even strays that hung around. He figured he just never saw any because the cats kept them away.

"Don't panic they're harmless," Sephiroth replied before turning around to keep going.

"Yes of course," Cloud said before quickly following after the man so that he wouldn't get left behind in the mice infestation. Reaching out again he grabbed at the back of Sephiroth's kimono before the man stopped once more. Cloud froze right along with him, he wondered if he didn't like him holding onto him, but he just didn't want to get left behind. That and he was trying to stay as near by the light as he could. In all honesty Cloud hated the dark. Complete darkness that is. He figured it had something to do with when he and Zack were kids and they got lost in the woods.

"Forgive me," Cloud quickly apologized while retracting his hand. However he was a bit surprised when he felt fingers clasp around his own.

"No need," Sephiroth replied as he continued on. "We're almost there."

Nodding Cloud felt himself blush before replying with a soft okay. They continued on mostly in silence. Sephiroth giving a warning whenever there was an uneven step or dip in the ground and then they were coming to a stop once more at the bottom of stairs. There was only a few steps that led up to what appeared to be two cellar doors. Sephiroth climbed the few steps before unlatching the lock and then he was pushing open one of the doors. A cool gust of wind wafted down and the dark space was illuminated slightly by the moonlight. Cloud walked up the couple of steps, stopping behind Sephiroth as he looked about.

"All go well?" A voice asked and Cloud looked up to see Angeal peering down at them through the open door.

"Yes," Sephiroth replied while reaching back to help Cloud up. Angeal took his hand and pulled him up from the cellar doors before Sephiroth was stepping out after him and closing the doors once more.

Now that they were outside Cloud could see that they were in fact outside the castle, but they were a ways away from it and off to the side.

"I'll double back from here," Sephiroth said while blowing out the lantern.

Nodding Angeal glanced around their surroundings. "I've been around this perimeter at least three times, seems fine."

"Good," Sephiroth replied, "I'll see you when you get back."

When he got back? Then did that mean...

"Are you not going any further?" Cloud asked.

Sephiroth shook his head. "Angeal will take you from here."

Looking up to Angeal the man smiled at him before patting his back. "Zack will be waiting for you up ahead."

Nodding Cloud shifted his gaze back to the General before taking a few steps towards him.

"Thank you so very much," Cloud said with a bow. "I can't thank you enough."

"You're welcome Cloud," Sephiroth replied. "Remember what I told you."

"I will, thank you," Cloud said with one last bow before Angeal was placing a hand on his shoulder. "Let's go."

Angeal had just begun to guide him away before Cloud looked over his shoulder. But Sephiroth had already gone. A small smile touched Cloud's lips, Sephiroth had been known as a legend. Edo's deadliest Samurai...and behind all that, he was also a good man.

They headed farther away from the castle, but from the opposite direction of heading into town. They seemed to be going off into a more shrouded area and soon the castle was barely even visible. By the time it was completely out of sight Cloud had become pretty tired from walking.

"Are you okay?" Angeal asked when it seemed as if Cloud had begun to slow down.

"Yes," he replied while quickening his pace.

However it wasn't much longer before Angeal was coming to a stop. Looking around Cloud didn't see anything except for trees and what appeared to be a dirt road that they had now come onto. He gave Angeal a curious look before the man was guiding him further down the dirt road, and off to the side he thought he could see someone standing there but he wasn't sure. He stuck by Angeal in case it was somebody that they didn't want to encounter. But when they got closer he knew it was Zack.

"I think you are on the wrong side," Angeal said as they got closer. "I thought we were meeting back there, I got confused for a minute."

"This is the right side," Zack replied with a laugh as they neared, "good thing you didn't turn back around." Smiling at Cloud he stepped forward and wrapped him in an embrace that Cloud immediately returned.

"Hey," he spoke softly while placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Hi," Cloud replied with a smile.

Looking up towards Angeal Zack spoke up. "Everything was fine on the way here?"

"No problems," Angeal confirmed while moving away from Zack. It was then that Cloud realized there was a horse with bags strapped across his back and a small carriage connected to it. Angeal was going through one of the bags and Cloud turned to look at Zack.

"That's ours?"

"Yeah," Zack replied with a grin, "it'll be much easier to get around right?" Cloud gave a small laugh as Zack led them over towards Angeal. It was then that he really paid attention that Zack wasn't in his Samurai attire when he saw him next to Angeal who was. But of course he wouldn't be, he couldn't let people know that he was a Samurai from Edo...and well, he wasn't a Samurai...at least he wouldn't be when word spread that he had deserted.

Instead he was wearing a black kimono with his sword strapped across his back, securely in its sheath. And a sugegasa that Cloud knew he was wearing since they would be traveling, but he also wondered if he wore it to try to obstruct others view of him.

"Let me see your map again," Angeal spoke while Zack rifled through one of the bags and pulled out the map, unfolding it and handing it to Angeal. "Try to stay on this path," Angeal explained while marking the route. "I already circled some places that I think would be safe to stop at when you need to."

"I don't plan on making any stops until tomorrow before nightfall," Zack replied.

"Don't push it," Angeal suggested, "Try to get as far as you can by then but don't tire yourself out."

Zack nodded in understanding before glancing down beside Cloud who was now pressed closely beside him. The temperature was starting to drop and it was pretty cold by this point. Placing an arm around him Zack pulled him closer while assuring him that they would be leaving momentarily.

"I assume you'll have at least three days before any word on your missing will surface. Once they realize you aren't on assignment and haven't been accounted for then they will send a search out," Angeal continued to explain.

"We can be here by then," Zack replied while pointing to a place on the map.

"Yes, however don't stay there long. That town is small, much easier to be spotted," Angeal said.

"Alright," Zack spoke while folding back up the map once Angeal had made his last minute adjustments on it. "Being three days ahead of them is good enough."

"It'll have to be," Angeal replied with a sigh before holding out an envelope to Zack. "Take this."

"What is it?" Zack asked while opening it up.

"You'll need it for your travel."

"Angeal," Zack began while handing the envelope back. "I don't need this I told you I had more than enough saved to get by for some time."

"Zackary," Angeal said pointedly.

Letting out a sigh Zack placed the envelope in one of the many bags before securing it.

"Thank you," he replied.

Watching the exchange between the two men made Cloud realize that he had something for Angeal too.

"That reminds me," Cloud said softly while reaching into his bag and pulling out the folded piece of paper. He held it to his chest for a moment before looking at Angeal. "Um," he started before giving a bow. "I know you've already done so much for me. More than I deserve. But I...I wrote this letter...for my mom."

Pausing for a moment he looked down to the letter before he felt Zack place a comforting hand on his back. Looking up towards him he caught his smile and so he continued on.

"I was wondering, not now of course. But perhaps sometime far from now in the future...that you could give this to her?"

Taking the letter from out of the boys hands Angeal looked at it briefly before looking into wide blue eyes.

"It's just someday...I would like for her to know what happened to me. Or rather, that she just know that I'm alive and happy somewhere. I would hate for her to forever think that the worst happened to me. Or...that she blame herself for me leaving."

Giving a nod Angeal gave Cloud's shoulder a squeeze before smiling gently. "You have my word."

"Thank you...for everything," Cloud said sincerely. He was going to give another bow but instead he moved in and wrapped his arms tightly around the man.

Angeal returned the hug, gently patting him on the back a few times. Pulling away Cloud wiped at a stray tear that had fallen before Zack was leading him towards the carriage. It was small, just enough to fit one or maybe two people but it seemed comfortable. There wasn't doors but rather a large canopy cover over the top. Cloud figured he was going to be pretty cold seeing as how it was so open, especially once they got moving. But once Cloud was seated Zack was reaching down and had pulled out a thick woven blanket, unfolding it and placing it on Cloud.

"Is that better?" Zack asked, almost as if he had been reading Cloud's mind.

"Yes, thank you," Cloud replied with a smile as he pulled the blanket up to his chin. Zack returned the smile before turning back to Angeal.

"You had better get going, you want to be pretty far from here before the sun rises," Angeal explained.

"Yeah," Zack replied, but he didn't make a move to mount the horse. "Angeal I," he started before trailing off uncertainly.

"I know," the Samurai responded.

"Right," Zack started before moving towards the horse. Then he was stopping and took a few steps towards his mentor before wrapping him in a fierce embrace. Angeal was used to Zack's hugs, he always did it. After they had been apart for periods of time because of an assignment Angeal had come to expect them. But with knowing that there wouldn't be any more of these friendly hugs in the future...

Cloud felt his eyes begin to water again as he watched the two. He had been feeling like crying off and on a few times all day, the whole thing was so emotionally draining.

"Go on," Angeal said softly while gently pulling away from the embrace and taking hold of Zack's shoulders. "You'll be fine."

"I know," Zack said with a nod before putting on his usual grin.

"Cloud, I'm counting on you now to keep him in line," Angeal said jokingly with a smile.

"Of course," Cloud replied while returning the smile.

Pulling himself up onto the horse Zack took the reigns before giving a nod to Angeal which he reciprocated.

"Goodbye Angeal," Cloud said just as they began to finally move. The man gave a wave as he watched them ride away further into the night, and after a while he couldn't hear the loud sound of galloping at all. Looking down to the folded up piece of paper in his hands he let out a sigh.

_"It's just someday...I would like for her to know what happened to me. Or rather, that she just know that I'm alive and happy somewhere."_

"I hope that will hold true Cloud..."

* * *

**Authors Notes**: And here is chapter 20! It's long overdue so please forgive me! But at last they are on the road and to a better life...hopefully? Angeal has gone along with it, but whether or not he thinks they will be successful I think is still obviously debatable. And Sephiroth, well I hope everyone understands that he see's so much of his lost love Genesis in Cloud, simply because of their ordeal. And helping Cloud maybe gives him a sense of atoning for his sins. Where were all of these separate paths lead? Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, much appreciated! Until next chapter!


	21. Sacrifice

**Important Note: **Hi readers! Just so you all are aware, this chapter has been edited due to FFnet rules and guidelines. So if you would like to read the unedited version you can find this story at affnet. It doesn't affect the rest of the storyline, but things have been cut from here and so the longer version is on affnet. So please read whichever one you'd prefer!

Some words to know: Ronin-A samurai became masterless from the death or fall of his master, or after the loss of his master's favor or privilege.

Nemaki- Similar to a yukata but worn for sleep wear.

* * *

Blinking open his eyes he quickly squinted them as harsh rays of sunlight beamed down on him. But despite the bright sun that was present there was still a crisp chill in the air. Rubbing sleepily at blue eyes Cloud pulled himself up a bit, causing the warm blanket to partially fall off of him. It was then that he finally became aware that the carriage was not in motion. But more importantly there was no rider on the horse.

A sinking feeling suddenly crept into his stomach and he tossed the blanket completely off of him.

"Zack," he called a bit unsure as he already began climbing out of the small carriage. "Zack?" He continued on as he felt the panic steadily rising inside of him. He had just rounded the carriage when he smacked into a solid boy.

"Hey," Zack said gently while steadying Cloud, placing his hands on his shoulders.

"W...where were you?" Cloud asked with wide eyes.

"Just a few feet away looking over the map. I just wanted to give her a quick rest," Zack explained while nodding in the direction of the horse.

Letting out a sigh of relief Cloud half-heartedly punched the other on his arm. "Don't scare me like that."

Although the jab was done in a joking manner, Cloud's tone and the look in his eyes told Zack that he genuinely was really scared in those brief moments.

Pulling the blond into his arms Zack placed a kiss on top of his head.

"I'm sorry," he replied with sincerity before pulling back with a grin. "I'm surprised you woke up now, you've been out for a while."

"Have I?" Cloud asked and Zack nodded before continuing.

"It's good that you did though, we're really close to the next town so we'll make a stop there."

"Great, I could definitely eat, " Cloud replied. While they were out on the road he could only really snack on the things that they had packed up. And even then he never wanted to be too greedy about it. After all they had to make sure that it lasted them for a while. And it just didn't compare to a hot meal honestly.

"That's the first thing we'll do then," Zack spoke as he led them back towards the carriage. He helped Cloud in before automatically reaching for the discarded blanket and placing it over the other. Cloud couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his face at the gesture and he pulled the blanket more tightly to himself.

In a few moments they were back in motion, Cloud gazing about and taking in his surroundings that were quickly passing by as the horse kept up his steady stride. But after some time he felt himself dozing off again only to reawaken when he felt the carriage slowing down and various voices and sounds emerging. As they entered into the town he saw small vendors set up on the sides of the roads and people bustling about. And although the actual surroundings were different it still very much reminded him of home.

_'Wait, home?'_ Could he still even actually refer to it that way? He supposed not but then again it _was_ where he had grown up. He just didn't know...

Pulling the blanket off of him he set it beside him. The sun had risen higher in the sky and by this point it was warming up and the cold morning chill had faded. Coming to a stop Zack dismounted the horse before looking back to Cloud.

"Seguchi tea house?" He asked while pointing to the place that was off to the right of them.

"Sure," Cloud replied while preparing to step down, but Zack was beside him in a second to help him out. Cloud was going to protest but he had to admit it was pretty high up and he wouldn't want to fall.

"Let me just secure her," Zack began while reaching for the horses reigns. "Why don't you get us a table?"

"Okay," Cloud replied before turning and making his way into the teahouse. It wasn't very big and there was only a few patrons inside, which Cloud was glad for because he didn't want to wait a long time to eat. Finding a table off to the side he took a seat just as a young woman with dark raven hair pulled into a bun approached.

"Welcome," she said cheerily while taking a teacup from her tray and setting it before the blond,her ruby eyes sparkling all the while.

"Oh, one more please?" Cloud asked before she began to fill his cup.

"Of course," she replied while setting down another cup and filling it with hot green tea. "Take you time deciding, I'll be back shortly."

"Thank you," Cloud spoke while glancing at the menu.

"Welcome!" The woman's voice rang out again as another patron entered. Cloud looked up to see Zack give the waitress a smile in greeting and then he was making his way towards the table. Taking a seat across from Cloud he began removing his sugegasa and placed it beside him.

"Did you order yet?" He asked while scuffing a hand through his hair.

There was a brief pause before Cloud responded with no. He felt a little silly for noticing that Zack had sat _across_ from him and not beside him. But of course he would notice, Zack always sat next to him...it was what he had always done. Although it wasn't something Cloud was going to make a big deal about, but he did feel a bit odd.

"Hey," Zack began while reaching forward and sliding the menu away from Cloud, causing him to look up into blue eyes. "This is just for precaution," Zack explained while pointing back and forth between them. "Until we get further out you know?"

"Oh," Cloud started as a small blush graced his face. "Yeah of course, it's not a big deal," he finished while dropping his gaze and reaching out for his cup of tea.

A smirk appeared on Zack's face before he looked down at the menu. Honestly, his boyfriend really could be so transparent at times. It was really endearing.

"Here you are," the waitress voice broke in as she approached the table and set down two bowls of miso soup. "Have you decided?"

"Yes, may I have three yakitori along with rice? And a side of steamed vegetables," Cloud said as the waitress gave a nod of approval before turning to Zack.

"A large bowl of ramen and six of the tempura."

Giving a bow the waitress scuttled off to the back to put in their orders. It didn't take long at all before she was back at their table and setting down the dishes. It smelled so good and both Cloud and Zack instantly started in on it.

"You should've at least gotten something with some vegetables," Cloud started with a raise of his eyebrow when they were halfway through the meal. "It's all fried or greasy."

Stuffing a mouthful of ramen into his mouth Zack shook his head before pointing at the small bowl with his chopsticks.

"In the miso soup," he explained.

"That doesn't count," Cloud said with a small chuckle before taking a sip of tea.

Giving the boy a grin Zack continued. "You should know my eating habits by now."

Cloud gave a shake of his head before Zack started eyeing Cloud's food. "I'll have some of yours."

Pushing the dish of vegetables forward Cloud laughed when he noticed Zack had his mouth open, waiting to be fed. So picking up a piece of brocoli with his chopsticks Cloud leaned forward slightly and held it out to Zack who took the bite. Smiling Cloud went back to his meal as Zack continued to eat the remaining vegetables. They finished the rest of their meal in casual conversation and a certain playfulness that they hadn't gotten to share together in recent times. It was... nice, and perhaps a small glimpse into what their future could truly be like. And Zack held onto that with every fiber in his being. Just hearing Cloud's laugh and seeing him smile...he wished they could stay like this at the teahouse all day. But their meals were finished and more travel awaited them.

"Sure you don't want any dessert?" Zack asked.

"No, I'm full," Cloud said with a sigh. "I'll just finish my last cup here."

"Okay," Zack replied while putting back on his sugegasa. "Meet me out front? I'll go get her ready."

"Alright, I'll just be a minute," Cloud explained as Zack stood up from the table.

"No rush," Zack said with a grin. He paid the bill and then exited out of the teahouse. Cloud's gaze lingered on the entrance for a moment and then he was taking a sip of tea. Although it had only been a few days since they had left Edo Cloud felt a lot more at ease, and sure he had his moments of fear like he did earlier in the day when he didn't see Zack...but as long as Zack was there he took a great deal of his worries away. Smiling a bit to himself he finished off his drink before rising from the table.

"Have a nice day!" The waitress called to him as he made his way to the door. He gave her a polite smile just as he reached the entrance, but once his gaze fell onto the road outside he felt the blood drain from his face. He saw two men conversing...no, two Samurai from Edo to be exact. There was no mistaking that fact, he knew that uniform down to it's last detail. But what were they doing there! Surely they couldn't be looking for he and Zack. They were supposed to be days ahead of them, how could Samurai have caught up so quickly?

Ducking back inside the teahouse Cloud peered around the corner to continue looking outside. The two Samurai were still talking in the same spot as they had been before. They were exactly in the middle, if he stepped out they would most likely spot him. And Zack...wait, where was Zack? Didn't he say to meet him out front? Did they find him? Were there _more?_ Cloud felt his heart racing, what was he going to do? He couldn't just walk and he couldn't stay in the teahouse, he needed to find Zack.

"Excuse me," Cloud spoke up while walking further into the teahouse and catching the waitress attention. "Forgive me," he continued with a bow, "I know this might be a strange request from a patron, but do you have a back door to this teahouse?"

Cocking her head to the side the waitress hesitated. "Well yes, but it's connected to our kitchen so-"

"Please could you allow me to go that way?" Cloud pleaded.

The woman could sense the urgency in his voice, what was the cause of it she didn't know but she felt it wasn't right to deny his request. "Yes, follow me," she replied while turning and making her way towards the back with Cloud behind her. Once they were in the kitchen she pointed towards a door and Cloud gave her another bow in thanks. He noticed a few of the cooks giving him questioning looks but he quickly made his way towards the door. Opening it cautiously he glanced around before stepping out and shutting it gently behind him. It was quiet behind the teahouse, vacant aside from empty produce boxes and bags of trash.

Following the wall down to the end of the teahouse he glanced around the corner, looking down the alley that led to the road. He didn't see the two Samurai anymore, but then again maybe he just couldn't see them from this angle. Moving around the wall he slowly began to make his way up the alley. He accidentally knocked into an empty box and he quickly tried to steady it before it fell and caused any unwanted noise that may draw attention. But an arm wrapped tightly around his waist and a hand covered his mouth before he could even do so.

_'Oh no, they found me.'_

Letting out a muffled scream Cloud began to struggle against his captor.

"Shh, Cloud stop it's me," A voice he knew all too well whispered against his ear. Eyes widening he craned his neck around just as the other removed his hand from his mouth.

"Zack," he began with a sigh of short lived relief, "they're here! I saw-"  
"I know," Zack cut in while stepping ahead of Cloud. "Stay right behind me. The carriage isn't far."

Nodding Cloud stepped right behind Zack and followed him closely as they made their way down the alley. Once they reached the end Zack stopped and looked in the direction of the Samurai. They had ventured further down the road, away from the teahouse and Zack took that opportunity to act quickly. He pulled Cloud in front of him and led him in the direction of the carriage. Cloud quickly climbed in and sat back as far as he could, almost as if he could somehow disappear into the seat. Tipping his sugegasa lower Zack got onto the horse and started down the opposite direction of the Samurai. Cloud thought for sure that they were leaving but after some time he realized that the scenery remained mostly unchanged and that they were only going deeper into the town. And eventually they had come to a stop altogether.

Zack was dismounting the horse again before tying it up beside a building.

"Zack?" Cloud asked softly while sitting forward. "What are you doing?"

Unstrapping one of the sacks that was tied to the horse Zack slung it over his shoulder before moving to the carriage preparing to help Cloud out.

"We're going to stay here for the night," Zack explained. Cloud glanced up at the Inn that they were by and he opened his mouth before shutting it again. They were going to stay in the town? Now? When there were Samurai around?

"No Zack we need to leave," Cloud said while pulling back from Zack's offered hand.

"Not now," Zack replied, "we need to be off the road."

"But what if-"

"Cloud," Zack began firmly. "I'm not going to argue with you out here. Let's go."

Cloud still wanted to protest, and he probably still would. But he wouldn't argue outside, he knew Zack was right about that. They didn't need to draw attention. So taking Zack's offered hand he let him help him out of the carriage and into the Inn. An elderly woman greeted them at the front and she gave a bow when they entered. They both returned it before Zack was speaking.

"Is there a vacancy?"

"Yes," the old woman replied, "we have a few." Without another word she began to walk down a hallway and they followed behind her. Finally coming to a stop at a room towards the end of the hall she slid the door open before stepping aside and giving another bow. "Is this to your liking?"

Taking a quick glance into the room Zack nodded. "This will be just fine, thank you."

"We've just served lunch, would you care to eat?"

"No thank you," Zack continued while stepping further into the room as Cloud did the same.

"Very well then. Dinner is served just before nightfall. But please allow us to bring you some tea," the woman explained, not waiting for an answer before she slid the door closed to depart.

Letting out a sigh Zack set the bag down on the ground before removing his sugegasa once more. He had just set it down on the table before his eyes traveled over to the small blond who seemed to look both angry and fearful. But it seemed as if anger might've been dominating.

"Three days," Cloud started quietly. "Isn't that what you and Angeal said? That we would have at least a three day jump on them?"

"I'm sure that we do," Zack replied while crossing the room and closing the shutters to the windows.

"What?" Cloud began in confusion, "Zack they're here! There's no way that's true."

"Those Samurai I'm sure were from some different assignment," he began to explain before pulling out the map and sitting down at the table. "They're either coming back from somewhere they were assigned to or passing through. But they haven't been dispatched for us."

"Even if that were true it doesn't matter! If they see you or I it's still bad! Especially me, they know I'm missing and if they don't know about you yet I'm sure it still won't look good."

"Cloud you have to relax," Zack started while giving Cloud a pleading look.

"Relax?" Cloud asked incredulously, "How can I when there are Samurai right outside of these walls?"

"We don't know that there are any more than the two that we saw," Zack continued.

"We don't but that doesn't mean that there isn't! I knew this was going to happen...I knew it," Cloud began to ramble in a panic before running a hand through his hair.

"Nothing's happened," Zack started gently while rising from his seat and walking towards the other. "All we've seen is a few Samurai who have no idea that we're here. We'll stay the night, give them a chance to pass and then we'll continue on just as we have."

Letting out a shaky breath Cloud looked up into Zack's confident gaze. He seemed so unshaken by it all, but Cloud...he just couldn't bring himself to believe that this wasn't a bad situation.

"But what if they are going the same direction as us and not back to Edo? Won't we just inevitably cross paths at some point?"

"That's why I'm going over the map, it's good to have more than one route. The path less traveled, it would be much easier to evade them just in case," Zack explained.

"Angeal marked that map with what he thought was safest," Cloud pointed out as he thought back to the night that they departed Edo.

"He only gave a guideline and some good spots to stop at, it doesn't mean that we can't diverge from that path," Zack continued while reaching out to cup Cloud's face but the boy batted his hand away.

"No, that's not safe!" Cloud exclaimed as tears of frustration began to well up in his eyes.

"It's fine," Zack assured. "Cloud don't you realize that I've been in situations like this before while on past assignments? I know how to evade an enemy, and more importantly I know how Samurai think...I was one of them."

"This is different," Cloud disagreed, still not finding comfort or security in Zack's words. "You promised me that-"

"I promised you that I would keep you safe," Zack cut in sternly, "I didn't say that we may not have any encounters. I haven't broken my promise to you...and I won't."

Shaking his head a tear slipped from his eye and Zack's face softened.

"Cloud please don't cry," he started gently. He hated seeing Cloud's tears, and to know that he was so upset right now because of the Samurai's sighting was frustrating. But he understood Cloud's fears, he just didn't want them to consume him.

Wiping away the lone tear Cloud made his way over to the bed and curled up onto it, turning so that his back was facing Zack. He didn't want to talk anymore, he just wanted to be out of this town and far away from any Samurai. He just wanted to push those facts far away from his mind.

Deciding to give Cloud some space Zack took back up his seat at the table where he had unfolded the map. He studied it carefully looking for any other possible routes. He wouldn't lie that it was a bit of a difficult task, and he understood now why Angeal had chosen this specific way. While there was indeed other ways to go it was important that they were paths that could be easily traveled. Zack couldn't go taking Cloud ways that were filled with treacherous terrain. While Zack would've been able to easily get through it would be impossible with Cloud. He didn't have the proper training, and he had to keep in mind that Cloud hadn't traveled at all really. This was all so new to him. And then he had to take into account the weather. The days were indeed getting colder and snow was a definite possibility in the near future. He needed to find a completely safe way that was unknown and somewhat obscure. Now the question was where exactly would that be?

* * *

Opening his eyes he stared into the now dimmed room, noticing that an oil lamp had been lit. Stretching slightly he also noticed that a warm, soft blanket was draped over him. Zack had obviously done it when he realized he had fallen asleep. Cloud felt a warmth from the sweet gesture and he instantly started to feel guilty for his actions earlier. He didn't mean to come off as ungrateful, or to whine and cry but...it was still all so overwhelming, and at times he just didn't know how to handle it. But he was trying, he really _really_ was trying. And he had to remember that Zack was probably just as overwhelmed. Sure he didn't show it, Zack was always strong, his pillar of strength. But it didn't mean that it wasn't true, and it would be more than unfair to further burden him.

Shifting in bed he turned around and his eyes fell onto Zack who was still at the table. Although now there was a tray of food and a small bottle of sake on it. Looking up at the sound of his movements Zack gave a small smile.

"Hungry? Dinner was brought while you were sleeping."

Sitting up Cloud lazily slid out of the bed before making his way to the table and making sure to sit beside Zack. His subtle way of showing that he wasn't still angry.

"They brought sake?" Cloud asked while pouring a cup for Zack before pouring just a bit for himself.

"Yeah they said it was complimentary," Zack explained while folding up the map and setting it aside.

Taking a glimpse at it Cloud set down the bottle. "You've been studying that all this time?"

"Yes, but I'm done now anyways," Zack casually replied before taking a drink of sake. He didn't want to discuss the map or anything related to that right now. He didn't want Cloud getting upset.

Lifting the small cup Cloud took a sip also and Zack looked at him curiously. "Strong?"

Cloud was picky when it came to sake and he couldn't drink certain types at all."Not too much," Cloud replied before giving a small nod. "I can handle it."

Reaching forward Zack picked up a piece of Sashimi with his chopsticks as Cloud started with his soup. They ate in a somewhat comfortable silence before Cloud was pushing away his now empty bowl.

"Forgive me for earlier," he said softly while looking down to his hands that he had now folded on his lap.

Staring down at the smaller one beside him Zack shook his head in slight confusion. "What for?"

Looking up at the other in surprise Cloud blinked briefly. "For...being so difficult. And for doubting your decisions. I said I would trust you and so I shouldn't be second guessing or questioning you. I'm the one out of my element here, not you. So...it was rude of me."

"Hmm," Zack mused while setting down his chopsticks. "I don't think you were being difficult. I can understand where you were coming from, you're just concerned. I just want to make sure you realize that I'm doing what's best...even if you don't necessarily see it that way."

"No," Cloud quickly replied with a shake of his head, "I do realize that, I never thought otherwise I was just...worrying."

"It's alright," Zack said with a smile before Cloud was returning it. Then he leaned up to place a lingering kiss on his lips.

"It's been a long day," Cloud said with a sigh after he broke their kiss.

"It has," Zack replied in agreement. "Although you've slept through a nice portion of it."

Giving a small chuckle Cloud nodded as he placed the empty dishes back on the tray. He didn't know why he had slept so much, perhaps the days were just catching up with him. After all he had been so nervous and on edge their first day of travel that he didn't think he had really slept at all.

"We'll head out early, just before sunrise," Zack explained while rifling through the bag.

"Okay," Cloud replied as he sat the tray and the dishes just outside the door in the hallway. Sliding it closed he turned around to see Zack pulling out their nemaki to sleep in. He handed Cloud his before retreating into the small washroom and Cloud started to remove his yukata. Zack would change in there. It had sort of become the routine these past few days. Cloud figured that Zack was giving him privacy, but neither of them said anything about it. Cloud appreciated the gesture, but he also sort of missed those types of small intimacies and it painfully reminded him that there was a definite break in their relationship. He missed it...and Zack did too he was sure of.

He finished putting on his nemaki and had just climbed into bed when Zack emerged from the washroom and blew out the single oil lamp. The room fell into complete darkness and Cloud tensed a bit. Moving over towards the window Zack opened the shutters slightly to let in some of the moonlight.

"Better?" Zack asked while retrieving his sword that was by the table.

"Yes," Cloud replied softly as he watched Zack place his sheathed sword right beside the bed before he was climbing in also.

"Is that something that all Samurai do?" Cloud asked.

"Hmm?" Zack asked questioningly as Cloud moved closer.

"Placing your sword right beside you before you sleep," Cloud said while resting his head against Zack's chest. "I've noticed you've done that every night."

"Oh," Zack started in understanding before running his fingers through blond spikes. "Yeah. Just as precaution."

Nodding against Zack's chest Cloud let his eyes fall closed as Zack's fingers glided out of his hair to trail soothingly up and down his back. It was strange that there was so much about Zack that Cloud didn't know when it came to his life as a Samurai...or rather former Samurai. Cloud know knew that there was so much of that life Zack kept away from him, but being out on the road traveling now Cloud was getting more and more glimpses into it, a side that he rarely got to see. And it was a bit exciting but also scary in a way. Cloud always knew that Zack was a good Samurai, but to him Zack was always just happy and carefree. That was the side of him that he knew best.

"Cloud?" Zack asked almost hesitantly.

"Yes," Cloud replied softly.

"You know...I meant what I said earlier. I will keep you safe, no matter what," he explained.

Opening his eyes Cloud lifted his head to look up at Zack. He was staring up at the ceiling but shifted his gaze towards the blond when he felt him move.

"I know," Cloud said while looking directly into blue eyes.

"And that could mean...if there is any confrontation with any Samurai or whoever else we may encounter who would try to harm you...I'll stop them," Zack continued before pausing briefly. Cloud let out a breath as he understood what Zack was really saying, he wouldn't hesitate to draw his sword if he had to. It wasn't anything new to Zack, he had been in battles. And the only thing Cloud ever saw as a result from them was the occasional injury that Zack would come back with, but he had never actually seen a person cut down before him. It was definitely a big possibility in this new life however, in the situation they were in now.

"I never really liked the idea of you being exposed to things like that," Zack began with a sigh. "But I don't think that's something that I can promise to shield you from."

"It's okay," Cloud said softly with a brief shake of his head. "It's not something that can be helped."

"Yes that's true," Zack started with a slight frown. "I guess I'm more curious how you would look at me after seeing something like that."

Pushing himself up more Cloud held Zack's gaze. Was Zack worrying that he would somehow have a different perception of him somehow?

"What do you mean?" Cloud asked in honest confusion. "I'll look at you just the same, if not with even more respect in my eyes."

Zack's eyes widened a bit and Cloud shook his head.

"I don't know why you would think anything else," Cloud started while running his fingers through raven hair. "You left Edo...because of me. You abandoned your status of Samurai and became a Ronin because of me. You've put yourself at such risk because of me. And you said you would do whatever it takes to...protect me," moving his fingers down the side of Zack's face he stroked his cheek lightly. "How could I not be proud and look at you with such a deep respect and awe. You might've dishonored the Shogunate but...there's such great honor in what you've sacrificed for me."

Looking at the other speechless Zack sat up. He hadn't expected to hear all that, but he had to admit that he was glad that he did. For Cloud to reassure his worries meant more than anything to him. What Cloud thought of him was very important, Cloud's view of him was the only one he cared about after all. Reaching out he pulled Cloud towards him and the smaller one instantly folded himself into his arms.

Cloud closed his eyes as he melted into the embrace. Zack hadn't said a word but Cloud could feel his relief there in his arms.

"The bigger sacrifice would've been staying in Edo and losing you," Zack spoke before placing a kiss on top of blond spikes. And he meant every word of it, Cloud had been pulling away so much then. And if Zack had never discovered what had really happened he knew it would've only been a matter of time before Cloud became completely closed off and pushed him completely away. As to what would happen after that...he didn't like to think.

_'Losing me.'_ It was for him. It was all for him, everything that Zack had done was for him...and not just now, but always. He had always put him first and foremost. Pulling away a bit Cloud looked up into blue eyes briefly before leaning up and pressing his lips against Zack's. He reached up and wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling closer. He wanted to hold him and never let go, he loved Zack...so much. The emotion was so intense and gripping, it always was but especially now after reflecting on so much.

Zack held onto Cloud when the other pulled closer, wrapping his arms around his small waist. He was surprised however when he felt Cloud's tongue running across the seam of his lips. Carefully he opened his mouth and without hesitation Cloud's tongue slipped in. It had been...a long time since they had kissed this way. The last time they did Cloud was unnerved by it and quickly drew away. And after that Zack promised himself that he wouldn't do it again, at least not for a while. Cloud needed time to heal, and Zack was going to give him as long as he needed to do so. The last thing he wanted was to hurt him in any way. But this...Cloud had initiated this.

Their tongues were caught in an intimate caress and Cloud gave a small moan. It sounded a bit foreign to him and he realized that it was because it was such a long time since he had heard it. He felt a blush come to his cheeks before he was moving his hands, sliding them across broad shoulders and coming to rest against Zack's strong chest.

It was Zack who finally broke their passionate kiss and he found himself staring into Cloud's glossy eyes and flushed face. That look was one that Zack hadn't seen in quite some time and he had to try to calm his racing heart.

Clutching his fingers at Zack's chest Cloud leaned into him resting his forehead against his hands. He felt Zack run his hand up his back and his eyes closed at the sensation. There was a deep ache inside of him to feel more of Zack's touch...he needed to. It had been so long...

"I miss you," he spoke softly.

Raising an eyebrow Zack stopped his movements. Missed him? What was Cloud talking about, he was right there with...

"What?" Zack asked as he started to process the meaning.

Lifting his head Cloud looked into Zack's eyes before looking away a bit shyly. "I miss...being with you."

There was no misunderstanding those words and Zack took a moment to let it sink in. But perhaps he took too long because Cloud was looking back at him with a somewhat hurt look.

"You don't miss me?" He asked unsure before Zack was shaking his head and taking Cloud's hands into his, pressing kisses against his knuckles.

"Of course I do, more than you know," Zack started, "it's just I thought...that you may need more time."

"I've had time," Cloud replied. "You're you, Zack. Not the..." trailing off Cloud shook his head before he could even have the time to think of that sick man. His name was not worth the mention or the thought. "I just...miss you. Us."

Taking Cloud's face in his hands Zack looked into his eyes, looking for any trace of doubt or fear. But he didn't see any...not at all. Cloud was sincere with his words and it made Zack happy to know that. No more lies, not anymore. All of that had been left back in Edo also.

"I do too," Zack said gently before pressing a soft kiss to Cloud's lips. He pulled him towards him and Cloud threw his arms around his neck. The soft kiss grew more passionate and they both lost themselves in it. Now with no uncertainties behind it and now that they both had admitted how much they needed each other. There was a tenderness behind it that made Cloud's heart swell with love. And even though it had been so long since they had been together Cloud knew that just pure lust wouldn't win out. This wouldn't be rushed, because it was so, _so_ much more than just a physical act. It was the mending of their bond, alough it was never actually severed, but damaged. It was Cloud finally closing the door to that dark place he had been in. Leaving Edo was the first step, but he knew it would never truly actually close until he could separate what happened to him and his relationship with Zack. And until he could fully be Zack's again, the Shogun still had a hold on him. But those fears, and that nightmare were part of the past, and he wasn't going to let that man ruin him, his relationship or his future. It was time for a blank canvas.

Squirming a bit beneath Zack now that he was lying back against the bed with the other on top of him, he let out a soft moan as Zack kissed his neck and gently bit his earlobe. His eyes fell closed and his body practically shuddered. He had almost forgotten how Zack could make him feel with such just small touches and kisses.

His breathing had increased and he continued making small sounds of pleasure. And while Zack loved to hear them he was keeping a close eye and ear on the blond. Making sure that those things were _indeed_ from pleasure and not from fear or nervousness. He couldn't take it if he hurt him or caused him to recall any horrible thoughts. But as time went on he knew he was probably being paranoid, because Cloud seemed to be enjoying things just as much as he was and was losing himself in the moment.

He hesitated for a moment before gently working at Cloud's clothing. It wasn't completely off, but partially open and pushed down past his shoulders. Zack pressed kisses to his bare shoulder before moving his hand down his chest, stopping at his taut abdomen. Cloud let out a shaky breath and Zack kissed him.

"You okay?" He asked softly and Cloud nodded, the flush from his cheeks moving downward like it always did. Zack smiled at the display before kissing down Cloud's neck, to his chest and stomach. He pushed the nemaki completely away before placing his hands on Cloud's bare hips. Feeling his skin was amazing, and in a few ways he felt as if it were truly their first time together all over again. He wondered if Cloud felt the same. Hearing the hitch in the smaller ones breath Zack glanced up into his face before reaching out and grasping his hand in his. Small fingers tightened around his and Zack continued on kissing down his skin. Every inch of him he covered with a soft kiss, making sure that nothing went neglected. Touching and caressing him lovingly.

Cloud's heart was beating wildy, and he knew he was already beginning to unravel. Reaching up he began to pull at Zack's nemaki. He wanted to touch him, feel him. And as each second passed by his desire only deepened more. Zack helped in removing it and shrugged off the garment effortlessly. Blue eyes immediately fell to his form and small hands sought him out. Cloud took his time exploring Zack's body, he had committed every touch to memory before and he was simply recalling it. Biting his lip he moved his hands to the others chest, feeling the warm, smooth skin beneath his fingers and the muscles rippling. Beautiful, powerful and _his_. Those were the thoughts running through his mind before he pulled Zack down towards him and sealed their lips in a kiss.

He found himself wrapped in Zack's strong arms and a warm feeling coursed through him. He felt safe, content and loved so unconditionally. They stayed that way for a while, reveling in the moment and each others presence.

Everything around them became obsolete in that moment, it was only them, without any worries or distractions on their mind. It was love at its rawest and purest, and made them feel as if it was too much and yet not enough...not ever enough. They didn't want it to end, and wished that the night stretched on endlessly before them. But as they continued it was easy to tell that it wouldn't happen.

It wasn't much longer before Cloud was calling out Zack's name in a broken moan and squeezing his hand as he arched up against him. And Zack was following right after,shutting his eyes tightly. That blissful moment being the last thing he needed to push him over the edge. The darkened room was filled with the sound of their heavy breathing and their pounding hearts that seemed to course through their ears. Partially collapsing on top of Cloud Zack rested against him as he listened to his heartbeat. Cloud wrapped his arms around the others shoulders, letting his fingers gently brush through raven hair. He felt so...complete and content in that moment, and he wished that morning would never come.

Pushing himself up on one arm Zack looked into Cloud's still flushed face and he quickly leaned in, pressing a kiss against unsuspecting lips. Moving to the side of the blond he pulled him with him so that he was pressed up right beside him.

"I love you," Zack murmured into spiky damp hair while letting his hand caress his lovers bare back.

"I love you too," Cloud replied while pressing a kiss to Zack's chest, just above his heart. He felt comforted by the warm embrace he was in, the after glow of their lovemaking and just simply because Zack was with him. His eyes fell closed, and he felt himself drifting off. Although he really wanted to stay awake, to keep this night alive for as long as he could. But sleep eventually won out. Zack smiled down at him, he saw him continually blinking his eyes, no doubt trying to fight sleep. And while he was indeed a bit tired himself, he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of Cloud.

* * *

"Well then, if that about wraps up things," Elena spoke while scribbling some notes down in her folder. People began to stand from their seats at the conference table, preparing to leave out of the room. Angeal had just closed one of his folders and had stood up from the table when the Shogun called out to him.

"Oh Hewley before you leave," he began while adjusting his glasses slightly, "I've noticed that Zack hasn't been with you the last two meetings. I wasn't aware that he was on assignment."

"He's not your excellency," Angeal started with a bow, "however I did excuse him from duties for a while."

"Is that so?" Hojo asked while clasping his hands together and leaning on the table with his elbows.

"Yes," Angeal replied while tucking the folders under his arm.

"I see," Hojo said with a nod of his head. "Do you suppose he's using this time to search for Chamberlain Saito's son?"

"It's possible," Angeal started easily, "there's not a day that goes by that he doesn't try to search in some way."

"Or," Hojo began with a tilt of his head. "He's already discovered his whereabouts and has no intention on returning him back home?"

"You're Excellency?" Angeal asked while furrowing his brows.

"In fact, maybe he has no intention of coming back either," Hojo continued. Lowering her folder Elena looked at Angeal before looking back to the Shogun.

"I'm not sure I follow," Angeal said while narrowing his eyes slightly.

"I've heard that someone fitting Fair's description was seen just outside the towns limits a few days ago," Hojo explained, "but not only that, he had a companion with him."

Keeping silent Angeal kept a firm gaze on the Shogun and the man continued.

"I'm told it was a younger boy with blond hair, seems to me like that may be Cloud. Wouldn't you agree?"

"If it were then that means Zack found him and would be bringing him back home safely to his family," Angeal quickly replied.

"You would think that," Hojo said with a nod, "however I'm told that they were going in the opposite direction of here."

"You have to be careful on who you get your information from," Angeal started with a shake of his head, "I've been told nothing of this by my men."

"A samurai came directly to me with this information," Hojo explained. "I believe they were coming back from an assignment when they saw the two individuals. This samurai came back but the other two he was with followed the individuals. I imagine if it is indeed Zack and Cloud that the other Samurai will be able to confirm this."

Keeping his face neutral Angeal gave a nod in agreement. "This Samurai's name who reported to you?"

"He asked to be kept anonymous, I do hope you don't mind," Hojo replied with a smile.

"Of course You're Excellency," Angeal said, "I'll look into things on my end as well."

"I would appreciate that. After all the Strife family is very concerned about their son."

"Of course," Angeal spoke with a nod before turning to leave.

"Angeal? You do understand that if Zack remains absent for a substantial amount of time I will have to assume that what I heard is the truth. And if that's the case, he's dishonored me severely," Hojo explained quietly, "I realize he's your pupil, but even you know the consequence of such actions."

"Yes You're Excellency," Angeal said once more with a bow before turning and exiting the conference room. He saw Sephiroth waiting across the hall, his arms crossed and giving Angeal a questioning look. Obviously wondering why he had come out so late from conference. Angeal began to walk down the hall and Sephiroth fell into step beside him.

"They've been spotted already."

* * *

**Authors Notes:** And here is chapter 21! Sorry for the delay, my life has been sort of crazy lately. But alas here it is! I wanted to focus this chapter alot on Zack and Cloud and their starting journey, but more so on their relationship. Because with the previews chapters and all that had gone on with the Shogun they needed to have a chapter that dealt with the insight on their relationship, the ups and downs of the fragile state it was in when it came to Cloud's ordeal. I rewrote the scene between them a few times, since it was the first time after the rape I wanted to try capture the love and the bond between them. Hopefully it came across how I wanted it to! And the Samurai by the teahouse, not just a coincidence then? Hmm, until next chapter. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


	22. Ruin

Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters and don't make any money from the writing of this story.

* * *

Running his fingers through feathery soft blond hair Zack smiled slightly when the smaller one moved closer towards him, burying his face against his chest. He looked so content and peaceful now that Zack didn't want to wake him. But he knew it was for the best if they got an early start. If there were any Samurai around he wanted to get away before they were detected and get as far ahead as possible.

Letting out a sigh he let his hand gently trail down to Cloud's shoulder, his fingers idly caressing his skin. He was glad that Cloud had calmed down the night before after the Samurai sighting, the last thing Zack wanted was to have him even more worried than he was sure he already was. And that was the reason why Zack dismissed the sighting as just something by chance...but the truth was he _himself_ didn't quite believe that. Could it be true? Yes, of course, but his gut was telling him that perhaps they _were_ searching for Cloud. And he also wondered if they knew about his disappearance yet. But more than that, he was beginning to wonder if Reno had indeed kept his promise. More than anything Zack wanted to believe he could trust him, he was one of his closest friends...but with those two Samurai being in the exact same area as them...he had to at least acknowledge it as a possibility.

"Zack?"

Glancing down at the soft voice Zack smiled when sleepy blue eyes blinked open at him.

"Can't sleep?" Cloud asked while curling his arm around the other.

Shaking his head a bit Zack spoke quietly, "No, it's about time for us to be leaving."

"Leaving?" Cloud asked while pulling away slightly to glance over towards the window. The shutters were closed a little but open enough to know that it was still dark outside. "It's still really early."

"Yes," Zack started while leaning forward and pressing a kiss against Cloud's cheek. "But I wanted to head out before sunrise remember? It'll be safer that way."

"Oh yeah," Cloud replied with a sigh before slumping back against the others chest.

Letting out a chuckle Zack ran his hand up and down Cloud's back comfortingly. "Don't worry, you can sleep on the way."

Pulling himself up slightly Cloud shook his head. "Will you be okay though?"

"I'm fine," Zack replied with a grin while sitting up fully.

Nodding Cloud realized that Zack was used to waking up early in the morning to head out on assignments, he did it all the time. Once again Cloud was the one out of his element, he had to remember that.

He found himself watching silently as Zack made his way out of the bed and over to one of their travel bags. It wasn't until Zack started to rifle through it that it actually hit Cloud that they _did_ have to leave. That just the day before they had seen Samurai. That they could potentially be in a bad situation. They were still on the run so to speak. And for a moment he had naively forgotten about all of that. He had fallen into a comforting atmosphere after the night before that he and Zack had shared, and upon waking up he was still partially in that state. But not anymore. One night was all that it took to take his mind off of their current situation, but now in the early darkness of morning it was still all very real.

Walking back towards the bed Zack leaned onto it with a frown. Cloud seemed to have completely blanked out, and although he hadn't said anything his eyes told it at all.

"Hey," Zack started while grasping his chin. He was staring into blue eyes a second later before continuing. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Cloud replied with a short nod and a smile.

"Good," Zack said with a smile of his own before placing a kiss on Cloud's forehead. "Come on."

They got ready in a comfortable silence, although Cloud was still somewhat dragging his feet. A part of him just wanted to stay at the inn, at least it was safe there. However that would've been no different than when he was hiding out at Angeal's so he knew they had to trek forward. He had just finished securing his obi when his eyes trailed over to Zack who was now fully dressed and picking up his sheathed sword. With that in place he moved over towards the table that was in the center of the room before glancing up at Cloud and realizing he was being watched. He gave him a warm smile before speaking up.

"Come here," Zack said while reaching out his hand. Walking towards the table with a curious look Cloud took Zack's hand and let him guide him to sit beside him. He found himself staring down at the large map as Zack pointed to a specific area.

"We'll make this our stopping point for today, it'll be far away from here and it's less isolated than if we continued to the other town that was on the planned path."

Looking over the lines and trails of the map Cloud nodded. He could see the dark lines that Angeal had mapped out for them beforehand and could see where Zack had went back and changed things.

"Instead of staying down this path," Zack explained while tracing one of the black lines, "we'll be going up this way. It's more mountainous here so it'll be a little rougher but it's much more obscure."

Cloud liked the sound of that, it would keep them hidden instead of just traveling down a regular open road.

"Once we get to the next town we'll check out the surroundings, if everything is alright then we can continue on the original path. But if I for any reason think that there's a chance of conflict, we'll change back to the mountainous road."

"Why don't we just stay on the mountainous path? It's best just to be safe isn't it?" Cloud asked while looking into blue eyes. Zack held his gaze and nodded.

"It probably would, but it's much more difficult for travel. And we also have to take the weather into consideration, it could start to snow and up in the mountains it wouldn't be easy."

Pausing briefly Cloud let that sink in. "Because of the carriage? Let's just lose that, I can ride on the horse with you."

"I'd thought about that, we'll see how it goes. We would have to be much further away, we'd easily be spotted that way. They're looking for two people, we would stand out."

Cloud hadn't thought about that but he supposed Zack was right, the last thing they wanted to do was to attract attention.

"It'll be fine," Zack reassured the other, "we'll just push through until we make it into the next town."

Hesitating only briefly Cloud gave a nod before Zack was folding up the map and tucking it away. And then they were departing the quiet inn and stepping out into the early morning air. Cloud kept his eyes shifting this way and that. Although the streets were deafening silent at the time, he still wasn't convinced that they were indeed alone...he really hoped they were though.

He jumped a bit when he felt Zack's hand on his back, guiding him towards the carriage before helping him climb up into it.

"I don't think we'll be able to stop anywhere to eat, so we'll just have to eat what we have packed," Zack explained while lowering his sugegasa.

"That's fine," Cloud replied while sliding further back into his seat.

"It'll be a bit of a bumpy ride up ahead so just hang tight okay?" Zack continued while looking into blue eyes. Cloud nodded just before Zack passed him the blanket that he had been using daily since they started out. He reached out for it, his smaller hand brushing against the larger one before he found his fingers grasping tightly around the others. He didn't know why exactly...perhaps just to calm his thoughts, and Zack was always his comfort after all.

Not replying to the touch Zack simply squeezed Cloud's hand tighter. He knew his boyfriend well enough to read him inside and out, whether he said words or not hardly mattered. Zack understood.

Leaning in briefly he placed a soft kiss against the blond's lips. He meant for it to be brief, but when he felt Cloud push more into it he let it linger before reluctantly pulling away.

"Let's get going huh?" Zack asked as he glanced up at the sky and noticed that the first traces of sunlight were starting to making their appearance, changing the dark sky to a faint purple.

"Yeah," Cloud agreed while moving back and pulling the blanket up higher. Zack gave him another smile before turning and making his way over to the horse. He pulled himself up before giving her a few gentle pats and then he was taking the reigns and leading them off into the distance.

* * *

Approaching the castle doors the guards on duty gave a nod of acknowledgement to the woman before opening the doors for her. She gave them a smile of thanks while walking into the castle. The heavy doors creaked shut behind her and she shifted the bag of fabric in her arms as she moved down the hall. A few residents passed by her giving her those same sympathetic smiles that they had been giving her for weeks now along with small bows. She returned them politely but in all honesty she didn't know how much longer she could. It was just a constant reminder that her son wasn't there.

Letting out a sigh she hugged the bag closer to her. She had been trying to go about her daily activities as normal but her mind was never really fully occupied at the task at hand. When she made meals at home, she always made more than she should've, being so accustomed to cooking for three people instead of just two. When she woke up in the morning she constantly had to stop herself from knocking on Cloud's door, so used to waking him up for his morning lessons and breakfast. And when she fed Tama just the sight of the little cat reminded her of her son and how happy he was when he received it just before they moved into the castle.

She tried to stay busy, but truth was no matter what she was doing she would never truly be at ease until she knew where her son was. At this point...she was even being realistic. And if something terrible had happened to Cloud...she just needed to know. She _desperately_ needed to know. Even though she hoped with every fiber in her being that that _wasn't_ the case, she knew she would eventually need closure. The not knowing was too painful.

The sound of a familiar voice caught her attention and she glanced across the hall to see Angeal along with a few of the council members talking outside one of the conference rooms. She didn't see Saito with them though. Slowing her steps she halted altogether and kept her gaze on the Samurai. She really...wanted to speak to him. If anybody could give her any concrete information it had to be Angeal. Everytime she questioned Saito about what was going on, she always got the same response of "don't worry, they are searching and doing all that they can. Just be patient." And she was tired of receiving that response. She had been patient! And even though she knew she had no real right to intrude into any of the business of the council or anything...she was after all just the wife of the Chamberlain. But she was tired of being dismissed. If they knew something and were just hiding it from her she needed to know. She had a right to didn't she?

Sensing a pair of eyes on him Angeal glanced across the hall to see the blond woman watching him. She gave him a smile when he noticed her and in a second he had turned to the few people he was with and politely excused himself before crossing over to to the other.

"Forgive me," Natsumi said with a brief laugh as she bowed. "I know you're busy, I didn't mean to pull you away so abruptly."

"Not at all," Angeal replied with a smile. "We were just wrapping up some things from an earlier meeting."

"I see," Natsumi spoke softly while shifting her gaze to see the council members begin to walk away. They regarded her with brief bows of their own before continuing. "I don't mean to step out of line," she continued while raising blue eyes back up to the man. "I just wondered... if you had any updates at all."

Pausing only briefly Angeal shook his head. "I'm sorry. I wish I did." He thought back to the letter that Cloud had written for his mom, he wanted her to have it...but he knew it was still entirely too soon for that. He couldn't risk something like that being spotted by anyone else. It would have to be way after they abandoned the search for Cloud.

"Oh," Natsumi started while dropping her gaze momentarily. "I just...if you did know something...even if it was bad news I would still like for you to tell me. Please? Saito doesn't really speak to me about these things."

Giving a nod Angeal frowned slightly. What was Saito telling her then? Then again he supposed the Chamberlain was just as lost on this matter. Even though Angeal inwardly wondered if Saito felt guilt about his actions. Perhaps Saito figured Cloud ran away and he was too ashamed to tell Natsumi the reasons for it?

"You have my word," Angeal replied as the woman shifted the bag in her arms again.

"I did hear however," she continued a bit hesitantly. "That Zack has been gone for awhile...and he's not on assignment?"

Straightening up a bit Angeal let out a sigh. "That is true," he started with a nod, "I gave him some time off for a bit but what he's done since then I don't know."

"I've been hearing...things," Natsumi began while furrowing her eyebrows. Clearly displeased at the bad rumors that had been surfacing.

"I'm sure you have. It's inevitable at this point," Angeal explained. "But things spread around the castle and in town like wildfire. It doesn't always mean it's accurate however."

"Of course not," Natsumi said while looking back to Angeal. "If I go with my gut instinct...I think maybe Zack took the search into his own hands for Cloud. Maybe he...thought he could find him on his own."

"Perhaps," Angeal simply replied.

Natsumi let out a small laugh and shook her head. That thought actually comforted her. If Cloud was out there somewhere and possibly lost...knowing that Zack might've been looking for him...or even maybe had found him, made her happy.

"Did Zack ever tell you about when he and Cloud got lost in the woods as kids?" She asked while shifting the bag to her hip before Angeal tilted his head questioningly.

"I don't think I ever heard about that," he replied before reaching out and taking the bag that Natsumi seemed to be struggling with. She smiled at him in thanks before he was gesturing for her to lead the way and waiting for her to continue on.

"Those boys," Natsumi started while touching her fingertips to her temple in thought. "Sometimes they just didn't listen. We told them time and time again not to go out there but they went anyways. And the sun had gone down and they still hadn't made it home. We were all worried out of our minds...well Zack's mother and I. We went around town and didn't see them anywhere at all."

Then she was smiling and letting out a laugh. "Then when we made it back home and were still out front looking we saw them walking up the road hand in hand. Oh...I don't think I've ever been so angry and completely happy at the same time."

Angeal gave a smile at those words and listened as Natsumi continued on.

"Zack's mom and I yelled at both of them but...before she took Zack inside his house I stopped him and kissed him on top of his head. I told him thank you for bringing Cloud back home safe...I knew it was him that got them out of that mess...Cloud always hated the dark, I'm sure he would've just hid somewhere until morning if he was by himself."

They both shared a laugh before they were stopping at the woman's quarters. Her smile fell a little as she glanced at the door, knowing that on the other side she would only be greeted by silence and that her little boy would not be there.

"Do you think," she started gently, "that I'd be completely naive to believe that...maybe Zack could bring Cloud back home to me again? Just like that time?"

A frown settled on the Samurai's features and he shook his head. "No, I don't think it's naive at all."

Giving a bit of a nod she let her gaze waver. "Zack is just like a second son to me," she explained softly. "I can't...I won't believe the things that they're saying about him now. He wouldn't be responsible for Cloud's disappearance."

So she had _indeed_ heard all the rumors, Angeal thought to himself. Ever since the Shogun had been tipped off about Zack and Cloud possibly being spotted, the man had twisted it to make it seem as if Zack was the guilty one. That he had deserted and was a traitor. Not that Angeal wasn't expecting it, he just thought it would've taken longer. But of course the Shogun couldn't wait to sling dirt on Zack's name.

"Then don't," Angeal replied genuinely. Even though Zack technically was the reason behind Cloud's disapperance, he had no choice. And the real reasons were the Shogun and Saito. If Natsumi knew the real truth, she would understand. And as much as Angeal wanted to tell her, he knew that was something he couldn't do. In time she would know...whatever Cloud revealed to her in that letter, she would know. Whether or not he included the full situation with the Shogun and his father in the letter Angeal wasn't sure. He hadn't read it and he wouldn't. But when the time was right he would show it to Natsumi. "You know Zack...you know his character. Don't let these things you're hearing change any of that. People are just grasping for answers at this point. Eventually the true answers will come to light. I promise you that."

* * *

Coming to a stop Zack dismounted the horse before looking up ahead at the rest of the path. Their movement was becoming much more slow and harder to get through, and that was because the snow. He had anticipated it, but he hadn't expected the snow fall to be so heavy and come on so quickly. At least they had made it a good distance so far, traveling well into the night. But they still had a good ways to go.

Letting out a sigh he turned to look at the carriage that Cloud was currently sleeping in. The boy had the blanket pulled up to his nose. He must've been so cold, he had never really been out in weather like this for a long period of time.

Moving over towards the carriage Zack took in the situation. It probably would be best to unhook the carriage. The horse would move quicker without the added weight in the snow, and having Cloud ride with him wouldn't be an issue. At least until they made it past the mountains, in the next town it would probably be best for them to aquire another one though.

"Cloud," Zack spoke softly past the wind that seemed to be picking up just a bit. He was just about to shake the other awake when he heard what sounded like a branch breaking off in the distance. Freezing he shifted his gaze towards the wooded area. To anybody else they probably would've just taken it as twigs and branches breaking because of the wind, or a possible animal. But to Zack who was trained to pay close attention to his surroundings in case of an enemy threat, he took it to be something else. That and he had been hearing these sounds for a while now, hoping that if it was someone following that he could shake them. But it didn't seem as if that was the case.

Placing his hand on the hilt of his sword he kept his eyes scanning the area. He was so focused on locating the sound that he almost didn't realize Cloud stirring beside him in the carriage. Blue eyes blinked opened before Cloud was pulling the blanket more tightly to him. He was just about to drift back off to sleep when he noticed that they weren't moving. Sitting up slightly he glanced around to see Zack standing just a few feet away from him.

"Zack?" Cloud asked a bit confused. The other held up his free hand in a gesture of silence, his other staying firmly secure on the hilt of his sword. Noticing this Cloud sat up fully, letting the blanket drop away from him.

"What's wrong?" Cloud asked softly, now fully awake. When he didn't receive a response he climbed out of the carriage, his feet sinking into the soft snow. He took a few steps until he was standing right behind the other.

"Zack?" He asked gently. Peering up at the other he studied his face. For the moment Zack appeared to be a statue, he remained completely still aside from his eyes moving in different directions. He was _intently_ focused on something, what it was Cloud didn't know but he felt his heartbeat increase and a sinking feeling appeared in his stomach. Without another thought he moved close behind Zack, one of his hands gripping at his back. He saw Zack's arm move out beside him, almost as if to shield Cloud from whoever or whatever it was that was out there.

"Someone's here," Zack finally admitted to him. He didn't want to scare Cloud if he wasn't absolutely sure that they were indeed being followed, but he knew now that it was a fact. "No," Zack corrected quietly, "more than one."

Cloud's eyes widened and he clutched at Zack's back even tighter.

"Stay behind me," Zack explained calmly, keeping his one arm outstretched as he took a few steps back with Cloud closely behind.

Cloud didn't need to be told that, he didn't think he could move away from Zack at all in this moment. He was beyond terrified.

Keeping his gaze fixed before him, he narrowed his eyes a bit when he saw the shadows of three figures emerging. They had been spotted, they knew it. So there was no point in trying to hide any longer. As they walked further into view Zack quickly withdrew his sword before they got any closer.

"Turn back," he warned.

Taking another step closer one of the Samurai shook his head. "That's not in the orders. Only way we'll be going back is when we have the Chamberlains son."

Cloud let out a gasp. So they did see him then? He wanted to look past Zack at them to see if it were the same Samurai from before, but he couldn't bring himself to move at all.

"That won't be happening," Zack replied, still just as calm as before.

"Zack," one of the other Samurai spoke up. Zack shifted his gaze to him and he realized that he knew this one rather well, they had gone on many of the same assignments. "Just let us take the Chamberlains son back. I'm willing to say that you got away from us."

Zack couldn't help but to give an amused smirk at that. He supposed that the Samurai assumed he was throwing him a lifeline with that statement, but Zack had no intention of handing Cloud over in return for his life...and he also didn't intend to lose his life either.

"I'll pass," Zack continued before the third Samurai made a sound of disgust.

"You betrayed the Shogunate and dishonored your name for _that_ boy?" Shaking his head he gave a sneer. "Seems as if he's not only the Shogun's play thing."

Snapping open his eyes Cloud felt his stomach drop at those words. _Not only the Shoguns play thing? _But that...what...how would he know? He hadn't looked at any of the men since they emerged, but those words...he just needed to see who it was that would know about that. Peering a bit around Zack his eyes only briefly fell onto the Samurai and he quickly moved back behind the other while shutting his eyes tightly. That Samurai...he was one of the Shogun's guards. _He_ was standing guard along with another that night when...yes. Of course he knew what transpired.

A pained whimper escaped from Cloud from the memory of it all as he kept himself glued to the man before him.

It was that pained sound that pushed Zack over the edge. He didn't know exactly who that Samurai was, but Cloud seemed to recognize him. And the fact that he knew about the Shogun and what he had done...and that he had just referred to Cloud in such a way...

Zack was done with talking.

In a move that was almost too fast for Cloud to register Zack had pulled away from him and dashed across the distance to where the Samurai were. Cloud hear a loud cry of pain, followed by the brief sound of metal against metal and then sputtering and coughing. He had barely blinked when the last of the Samurai had fallen onto the ground with a soft thud. The only sound after that was his beating heart and the wind. His eyes widened as he took in the scene before him, three men laid perfectly still on the ground with Zack standing in the middle of them. He hadn't moved since the last one fell and Cloud shakily started to make his way over towards him.

"Zack," he practically squeaked out.

Readying his sword again Zack spoke up. "Stay behind me Cloud," he repeated while keeping his focus ahead of him. Cloud seemed confused but listened obediently, trying to keep his gaze elsewhere instead of the blood spattered snow.

Hearing more footsteps near Zack narrowed his eyes. Of course. It couldn't have been just the three. He watched more of the Samurai emerge from the darkness and he gave a bit of a smirk. He partly wondered if he should be flattered that the Shogun felt it necessary to dispatch so many Samurai for one Ronin.

He heard Cloud gasp, no doubt from seeing the other Samurai appearing before he felt a hand gripping his arm. Not taking his eyes off the men in front of him Zack spoke quietly to the boy behind him.

"I won't let them touch you," Zack started, "just stay back by the carriage."

Glancing back at the horse and carriage they seemed so far away from Zack when in actuality it couldn't have been more than eight feet or so.

"I," he started to protest gently.

"Cloud." Zack snapped quietly. Cloud got the message. Now wasn't the time to be arguing or doubting Zack's lead. Letting go of the others arm Cloud moved away slowly before turning and running to duck behind the carriage. He heard some voices speaking but it was too low for him to make out and then he was once again hearing one of those blood curdling screams. He jumped at the sound and then he was hearing the constant sound of clashing swords and movement. He wanted to close his eyes...he wanted to look to make sure Zack was okay...but instead he stayed behind the carriage grasping onto one of the wheels with his trembling hands while he waited for the comottion to cease. The horse seemed to be getting antsy, and he found himself holding his breath hoping that she wouldn't get scared and take off.

It was when his attention was directed at the horse that he felt a hand grab a hold of his arm. Turning towards the touch he saw one of the Samurai beside him and he and he moved to kick with all of his force. The man briefly reeled back from the kick to his stomach as Cloud scrambled to get up. He had just taken a few steps, finding it extremely difficult to run in the deep snow before the Samurai moved to go after him. He grasped at the back of his kimono and Cloud shook him off before stumbling forward. He was just beginning to crawl away when his ankle was grabbed. Trying to kick the other off again Cloud let out a scream when he felt the man begin to drag him back.

A thud came from the carriage and Cloud looked up just in time to see Zack scale the top of it before coming down onto the Samurai who was holding onto him. The man let out a yell as Zack's sword pierced through his back until the tip came out the front. Cloud looked on in shock as the man's grasp around his ankle fell away limply and then Zack was pulling the sword from out of him, catching the man by the back of his kimono for a moment so that his dead weight wouldn't fall onto Cloud. Quickly getting to his feet Cloud looked around, there was still more of them! He saw two of them quickly approaching just as Zack let go of the dead Samurai. He turned to face one of the others and as they got caught in fighting the other one looked towards Cloud.

Turning Cloud quickly dashed off into the wooded area, he could hear the footsteps behind him but he didn't stop to look back. He just kept going. He turned down a few different paths before continuing on. He felt his chest begin to burn but he just continued to run, still not looking back. But after awhile he only heard the sound of his footsteps and his breathing and so he slowed down a bit. Finally coming to a complete stop he turned and looked out at his surroundings. He could see tall trees and snow under a starlit sky...but that was it. He couldn't hear anymore footsteps, the sound of swords clashing or any terrifying painful screams. It was just...silent.

Moving over towards one of the tall trees he leaned against the trunk before sinking to his knees, trying to catch his breath and calm his heart. He moved behind the tree, sitting silently behind it as he kept his eyes scanning the area. Did he really in fact loose the Samurai who had been following after him? Or was he just trying to trick him? Make him think it was safe so that he could lure him back out only to catch him? But how far had he run from the carriage? That was where Zack was. And just how was he supposed to find his way back anyways?

Leaning forward on all fours Cloud crawled forward a little. He inspected the ground closely and let out a frustrated sigh when he realized that plan wouldn't work. His footsteps were already gone, quickly buried under the fresh snow that had continued to fall. There was no way he could follow those back.

But...he supposed he could find his way back. He hadn't run that far away...had he? Leaning back against the tree he decided to remain there for awhile. He needed to make sure that he was indeed alone before he went off trying to make his way back. He had already almost gotten caught once already, he couldn't do that again.

He wasn't sure how long he had waited there, but it seemed to be awhile and he was freezing now that his adrenaline had worn off. He was just getting ready to start trying to find his way back when he heard something faintly off in the distance. He froze for a moment, not sure what or who it was.

"Cloud!"

Picking himself up from the ground he moved from behind the tree when he heard that familiar voice call out to him.

"I'm here!" Cloud shouted back over the sound of the cold wind that seemed to be picking up. Zack moved towards him and Cloud unsteadily approached as well, his feet sinking into the snow with each step he took.

"Are you okay?" Zack asked out of breath once he was close enough.

"I'm fine," Cloud started while instantly wrapping his arms around Zack's waist and holding him tight. "I'm fine. I'm sorry I ran off like that I just thought-"

Pulling Cloud closer towards him Zack held him there. "Don't apologize, I'm glad you did. I'm glad you got away. It gave me time to catch up to the Samurai who was following after you." Pulling away slowly he continued. "We need to... go."

Cloud was just about to respond before Zack stumbled slightly and grasped his side.

"Zack?" Cloud asked softly while reaching out to help balance him before stopping altogether. Blood...on his hands? But where did that come from? He wasn't hurt and it wasn't there before. Was it from when he touched-

"Zack!?" Cloud cried in shock before the other shook his head.

"It's fine," Zack replied while keeping his hand clutched at his side. "Let's just...get back to the carriage. It's just up this way."

Nodding at the direction he pointed to Cloud was quickly at Zack's side, supporting his larger frame the best he could as he guided them back towards the carriage that seemed so much further off then he remembered it. He guess he must've really ran pretty far after all, either that or he had just gotten disoriented in the midst of all of everything.

"I'll get you in the carriage, let me ride the horse," Cloud explained gently. But he didn't receive a reply and before he knew it he had toppled over back onto the snow with the heavy weight of Zack on top of him.

"Zack!?" Cloud shrieked, his voice seeming to be completely lost in the howling wind. Using all of his strength to sit up he held Zack up against him before pulling back to look into his face.

"Zack wake up!"

Tears welled up in his eyes when he got no response and Zack's eyes remained closed and his body lifeless. No..this..._this_ couldn't be happening.

"Zackary please," Cloud cried before leaning forward and pressing his ear against his chest. He heard a steady thump resounding from within and he let out a shaky breath. Zack was unconscious, but still alive...for the moment. Looking over towards the carriage he mustered up all of his strength before standing to his feet. He placed Zack's arm around his shoulders and lifted him up as much as he could before slowly and unsteadily making his way towards the carriage. He fell about three times before finally reaching his destination and struggling with all his might to get Zack into the carriage. He climbed in next to him before glancing down at the path he had just gone down. All that soft white snow spattered with crimson. So much...

Shifting his gaze back down to Zack he carefully examined his torso, looking at the area that he had seen Zack grasp before. He saw the tear in his clothing and was able to locate the wound, it was very deep and very wide from what he could tell and it was _still_ bleeding.

Pulling at the sleeve of his own kimono he pulled as hard as he could before the fabric started to stretch and tear.

"Come on!" Cloud shouted through gritted teeth. After a bit more pulling and tugging he was able to rip off what was a decent amount of fabric. He reached around Zack and wrapped the fabric tightly around him, over the wounded area and pressed down on it firmly. Once that was secure he quickly climbed out of the carriage before hopping up onto the horse and taking the reigns. He looked at the direction that they were once going but...there was no way they could continue that way. That would only lead deeper into the mountains before they ever got to the other side. He had to turn back and go the other way, hopefully there would be a town or something nearby.

Not second guessing himself he pulled up on the reigns and turned the horse back in the opposite direction before heading off. He wasn't sure how long he had been going but it seemed to be a while, and the fact that they were moving much slower because of the snow only made it worse.

The sound of something loud snapping caught his attention before the horse reared up, nearly throwing him off as it let out a loud cry.

"Easy!" Cloud started in a panic while gently petting her mane. He couldn't chance having the horse getting spooked and running off. He needed her! But what was that sound? Looking back to the carriage he realized that it seemed to be leaning and it was then that he saw the back wheel had come undone.

"No," Cloud said to himself while dismounting the horse. Running to the back of the carriage he assessed the damage. There was no way that he could repair that. Shaking his head he climbed back into the carriage and took Zack's face into his hands.

"Zack? Can you hear me? You have to wake up," he spoke gently before pressing his ear back to his chest once more. With the loud howl of the wind it was almost impossible to be sure, but he heard it. That faint thumping, it was there.

"Zack please," Cloud begged while running his hands through his hair. Looking around at the darkness around them he felt completely lost. What was he supposed to do now? How could he get them anywhere when Zack was unconscious and the carriage was broken? Just how far could he get on foot with Zack's weight before the cold and the snow got to him?

Leaning against Zack Cloud curled his arms around him before letting his eyes drift close, the tears that he had been holding back finally escaping. Maybe...maybe this was what he was supposed to do. Just stay with Zack until the very end. They could go together. Maybe that was their fate after all. After everything they had been through...perhaps it was fate's way of giving them a way out, so that they could be happy in their next lives together.

Blinking open his eyes Cloud placed a kiss on Zack's cheek. He was just getting ready to curl up back next to him and close his eyes and wait for them to be carried off together to the next life when he saw a dim light in the distance. What was it? There seemed to be only darkness and trees around them on this road and he hadn't even thought that they were anywhere nearby a town yet. But it had to be something.

Pulling himself up Cloud stepped out of the carriage before reaching back and struggling to get Zack out as well. He couldn't give up, not just yet. He had to try, if there was even a _small_ chance he had to try. Zack wouldn't give up on him, not ever. Zack had sacrificed so much for him and he couldn't just throw that all away once things got difficult.

The cold from the snow was biting at his feet and fingertips and Zack's weight seemed as if it were only getting heavier with every step he took. He fell, and got back up and fell and got back up. But when he fell once more...he just didn't have the strength to get up again.

"I'm sorry Zack," Cloud said with deep regret. "I'm so sorry."

_'I couldn't do it...I'm not strong enough to protect you. Please forgive me.'_

The sound of a door shutting was barely audible in the wind but the footsteps approaching that got louder made Cloud glance up wearily. He saw a dim light that was getting closer and closer and finally the figure of a man came into view as he held a lantern out in front of him.

"What's going on out here?" The man asked as he came closer towards the two.

"Please help," Cloud finally spoke up once he found his voice again.

"What happened?" The man asked as his eyes widened upon taking in the sight of the two. Cloud remained on the ground clutching Zack tightly to him, oblivious to the blood that was on his hands and smeared across his face.

"Please help him, he's hurt," Cloud repeated while shifting slightly. The man looked at them warily for a moment before kneeling down beside Cloud and looking at Zack.

"What happened?" The man asked again while looking directly at Cloud. Now that he was closer Cloud could see that he was an older man, tall and with a muscular frame.

"We were attacked up in the mountains," Cloud explained. "He protected me but he got hurt...and I couldn't...couldn't get him into town because our carriage wrecked and then the horse-"

"Alright," the man cut in while reaching for Zack. "Alright. Let's get inside out of the cold."

Standing up beside the other Cloud held out his hands just in case but the man seemed to be taking Zack's weight just fine on his own. He followed him up the narrow path that now he could see led to a home that was tucked away in the hills.

"Papa?" A voice asked as a girl emerged from the doorway, her eyes darting between the man and Cloud.

"They're travelers that have been injured," the man spoke as he stepped inside the home with the girl following before glancing back to Cloud.

"What's his injury?"

"A stab wound, on his side," Cloud quickly explained as the man set Zack down and the girl appeared at his side. She began to work open his kimono swiftly before locating the wound and then she was off as she disappeared down a hallway.

"You said you had a horse along with you?" The older man asked while heading back to the door.

"Yes," Cloud replied while looking away from Zack briefly. "Just down the road, she was still hitched to the carriage so I don't think she could've gotten away."

"Well, I don't know if your carriage will be salvageable but we can't just leave that horse out in this storm. I'll go bring her up," the man explained before exiting the home. The place was filled with silence after that and Cloud quickly turned his focus back to Zack, not even bothering to take in his new surroundings. He heard footsteps approaching again and looked up to see the auburn haired girl setting down a tray with various items on top of it. She pulled out a rag and dipped it into what looked like hot water before pulling more of Zack's kimono away and pressing the rag against his wound.

"It's pretty deep," she said to herself before reaching over to the tray and picking up another item that Cloud didn't recognize.

Nodding Cloud spoke up softly before looking down to his own hands. "He lost alot of blood."

"Yes," the girl replied before glancing up at Cloud. "But it could've been more. You secured the material around him didn't you? That helped stop alot of it."

"Yeah...it's the only thing I could think of to do then," Cloud explained before reaching out and stroking Zack's hair. "Still I...he needs a doctor, the next town can't be too far away right?"

"It is," the girl started, "not to mention in this weather it would take twice as long to get there. He wouldn't last getting there. You got lucky."

Blinking Cloud shook his head in slight confusion.

"You said he needs a doctor," the girl continued. "Well he's got one."

Letting those words sink in for a moment Cloud's eyes widened slightly. "You're a doctor?"

"Why do you think my father brought you here?" The girl asked with a small smile as she continued to clean Zack's wound.

"Oh I...I don't know I just thought," Cloud started absentmindedly before leaning forward and touching Zack's face. "Will he...will he be okay?"

Glancing up the girl studied the blond's face. She could see the worry and concern on his tear streaked face and she gave a soft sigh.

"What's his name?" She asked gently.

Looking at the other briefly Cloud looked back down at the ex Samurai.

"Zack," Cloud said softly.

Nodding the girl reached back to the tray and took a sharp needle from off of it. "And yours?"

"Cloud."

"Well Cloud," the girl started while threading some material through the needle. "Zack is going to be fine. I've cleaned his wound, and now I'm going to stitch him up. He's lost a lot of blood but with some rest he'll be fine."

Letting out a shaky sigh Cloud nodded before taking Zack's hand into his own.

The girl watched the gesture curiously before tilting her head slightly.

"He must be very close to you," she began carefully. "Is he your brother?"

Cloud shook his head before squeezing Zack's hand tighter. He realized that he probably shouldn't have been so close to Zack around this stranger, but he honestly didn't care. If Zack could sense him somehow he wanted him to know that he was with him.

"He's my...my best friend. Ever since we were kids," Cloud explained while looking back to her. "He's all I have."

"I see," the girl replied as her face softened and another small smile settled on her features. "My father is all I have too. I understand."

Pulling the tray closer beside her she looked up at Cloud before pointing down the hallway that she had went down earlier.

"At the end is the washroom, you should clean up. You've been out in the cold and I'm sure a warm bath would do wonders for you."

Looking down at himself Cloud did agree, he looked terrible. His kimono was torn and tattered and he was stained with blood and freezing. But still that didn't matter.

"Thank you for the offer but I'll wait until you finish here," Cloud replied.

"I'd rather you not," the girl said firmly. "I have to stitch him, it can be a bit gruesome. Not to mention he'll probably wake up in pain. You shouldn't have to see that."

Cloud opened his mouth to protest but the girl simply gestured down the hall again.

"Go on. He'll be all done by the time you finish."

Deciding not to argue anymore Cloud gave a broken nod before rising to his feet. He didn't want to delay the doctor anymore and stand in the way of Zack being treated.

Giving a deep bow Cloud said another thank you before turning to move down the hall. He paused briefly before turning to look back at the doctor who was already getting ready to start the procedure.

"Forgive me, I didn't catch your name doctor."

Glancing up the girl gave a warm smile before speaking. "Cissnei."

* * *

**Authors Note**: Alas here is chapter 22! I apologize for the delay but life crept up on me pretty hardcore and alot of things just had to take a back seat for awhile. But! This is back to regular updates and chaper 23 is already more than halfway finished! Poor Natsumi, so sad for her to be left in the dark. But what will Cloud's letter reveal to her? And when she get's it will Cloud indeed really be safe? And will Zack be okay? It seems as if Cloud's worries have in fact come to life. Was it all because of the Samurai that were in the same town previously? And who in fact tipped off the Shogun about their whereabouts? Hmm, just as many questions are answered a whole slew of new ones come up! Thanks for reading and reviewing, I appreciate it! Until the next chap!


	23. Atone

_"Easy, easy," a soft soothing voice spoke up, seeming completely out of place to the searing pain that he was in at the moment. His eyes were shut tightly and he was gritting his teeth through it, but when he felt that piercing_, _burning pain again his eyes opened and he fuzzily made out a young woman leaning over him, pressing down on his shoulders when he jerked from the sensation._

_ "Papa hold him down,"she spoke while reaching across him and pressing something against his side. Shifting his gaze when he felt a stronger weight holding him down he looked up into an older man's face, his brows were knitted together and he faintly heard him mumble to relax._

_ "Not much further to go, just hang in there," the girls voice spoke again. _

_ Who were these people? And what on earth were they doing to him? Where...was he? _

_ His eyes slipped closed again but only for a moment before that same pain appeared at his side again. He tried to sit up as he let out a cry of pain but hands were on him again, holding him down, restraining him. But then he felt a gentle touch on his cheek followed by a quiet voice speaking his name._

_ Opening his eyes again the room and his surroundings spun around him. He shook his head a bit and squinted his eyes. Staring down at him were blue eyes this time._

_ "It's okay," the boy spoke softly while pushing some of his damp hair away from his face. "It's alright, I'm right here with you."_

_ "Cloud?" _

_ "Yes," the other replied with a nod of his head. "It's me. I'm right here, just focus on me okay?"_

_ He was just about to say something. Ask him what was happening, where were they...but he didn't get a chance before that sharp pain appeared again. _

_ "Shh shh," Cloud's voice came as he cradled his face in his hands and leaned down close. "I know, it's almost over just a bit more."_

_ The pain didn't seem to let up this time and he felt the room spin more around him, making him feel sick to his stomach and weary from it all. His eyes drifted closed once more and he faintly heard his name being called again before he became completely consumed by darkness..._

* * *

Blinking open blue eyes he squinted as he tried to focus his vision. Everything around him seemed so bright and hazy at first that he had to shut his eyes once more. Opening them again he let them roam around the place. Where...was he? He was in a room of some kind but it wasn't any that he recalled being in before. He was lying in a soft, warm bed with a heavy blanket draped over him. Glancing down he noted that his kimono was absent and that a white bandage was wrapped around his torso and across his chest.

_'Bandage...but why?'_

Frowning slightly he tried to remember just what had happened and why he was here like he was now. He remembered...snow...a lot of snow. And...Samurai? That's right, Samurai had followed them into the mountains when they were traveling and then-

_'Wait...we were traveling. That means-'_

Sitting up quickly Zack winced at the pain that shot through his side, but he ignored it for the moment as he quickly scanned the area. He was...alone? Then that meant...

"Cloud," he started to call out, only to realize that his throat was dry. He was extremely thirsty but that could wait. "Cloud?" He tried again, this time louder.

They were up in the mountains when the Samurai had appeared. He had been able to dispose of all of them...or so he thought. He remembered one of them following after Cloud into the wooded area and he had quickly gone after him, hoping to catch up to the Samurai before he found Cloud. And while he _had_ found the Samurai he had been caught off guard momentarily and the Samurai was able to land a hit. Then shortly after he came across Cloud and tried to make it back to the carriage and then...after that everything was a blank. Did he indeed get Cloud to safety? No...no he didn't. He must've passed out...so then that...did that mean that Cloud was still out there? Or were there more Samurai that followed after? Had they found Cloud and taken him back to Edo? Was _he_ himself back in Edo?

Feeling the panic begin to rise within him Zack had just started to exit the bed before the sound of the door sliding open drifted in the air.

"Whoa whoa whoa," a feminine voice sounded and Zack glanced up to see a petite girl with auburn hair enter into the room.

"So you're awake," she began while crossing the room and pushing back on the other's chest. "Don't go sitting up so abruptly, you'll rip your stitches."

Staring at the girl a bit confused she raised an eyebrow when she saw that he hadn't budged.

"Lay back," she commanded while using a bit more force against his chest. He finally complied and opened his mouth to speak but she continued on. "You don't want to have to go through getting stiched up again right? You didn't seem to enjoy it much."

"I..." Zack began while trailing off lost in thought.

"You don't remember?" The girl asked while sitting down beside the bed and reaching across Zack to begin undoing his bandage. "I don't suppose you would, you were a bit in an out of consciousness at the time."

Glancing down at the small hands that were working at the bandage Zack looked back up towards the other.

"Where exactly...am I?"

"You're at my house," the girl replied simply. "My papa found you out in the storm," she explained before glancing up into blue eyes and giving a small smile. "Lucky you."

While Zack should've been elated at those words the only sensation that he felt was his stomach dropping.

"Just me? Was there...someone with me?" He asked hesitantly.

Getting the bandage undone she gently pressed around the wound causing Zack to take a sharp intake of breath.

"Sorry about that," she replied before reaching over to a tray beside the bed and grabbing a small cloth. "I just wanted to make sure it's healing properly. It doesn't look to be inflamed much at all, that's very good."

Nodding Zack looked back up at her as she began to redress the wound. "So...was there?"

"Was there what?" She asked while glancing back at him. "Oh," she started with a shake of her head. "Yeah, my papa was able to retrieve your horse and belongings. Don't worry. Although the carriage was a lost cause."

Zack's eyes widened at those words and he felt as if his heart was going to stop. That was all that they found him with? So Cloud was nowhere around...surely that meant that the Samurai had found him? Did they...was he...?

"I...I can't. I have to go," Zack started with a shake of his head as he started to sit up.

"Go?" The girl asked while pushing back against him once more. "In your condition, in this weather? There's no way."

"I need to...I was traveling with someone and they might still be out-"

"Cloud?" The girl asked with a bit of a perplexed look.

_What? How d_oes_ she know his name?_

"Yes," Zack replied with a nod.

Giving a bit of a smile she shook her head. "You poor thing," she started while cupping his face briefly. "You really must've been out of it. It was a bit difficult having to stitch you up and it took a bit longer than I had expected. Not to mention I needed some assistance in keeping you restrained. Cloud was right there with you through most of it. You saw him then...but then you drifted off and you've been asleep ever since."

Stitching him up? Now that she mentioned it...he did recall some thoughts of being held down...and she did look a bit familiar now. But he still couldn't really make it out and if anything else thought it could've just been some dream or something.

Letting out a sigh of relief Zack's gaze fell onto the door. "So he's here?"

"Yes," she replied with a brief laugh. "He's helping my papa out in the garden. They're trying to salvage what crops they can, this storm did a lot of damage. In more ways than one."

Reaching beside the bed she picked up a pitcher of water and poured it into one of the small cups before holding it out to Zack.

"He's been in here with you everyday but I told him to take a break. He'll be really happy to know that you're awake though, he was really worried."

Taking the offered water Zack gulped it down before saying thank you. "I would...really like to see him. When he's not busy."

"Of course," she started while pouring him another cup of water. "I'll go get him. You just drink up, and I'll make you something to eat. You must be starving I'm sure."

"Thank you...very much," Zack started before the girl waved him off.

"Don't. Cloud's been thanking me alot. It's enough already. I'm a doctor, it's what I do," she explained with a smile before exiting the room.

Still trying to gather his thoughts Zack sat there in silence. He felt as if he had woken up in some sort of a dream and he was still trying digest it all. He still had a lot of questions...but those things could wait. The one thing that mattered to him the most was that Cloud was indeed okay. And now that that had been confirmed he felt the tension drift away from his body. Hearing rapid footsteps approach the door he shifted his gaze over before seeing the door slide open. And even though he was expecting Cloud...just the sight of actually seeing him physically, where he could actually see for himself that he was okay, made his breath catch in his throat.

Blue eyes stared back at him and the smaller one remained in the doorway unmoving. Almost as if he were trying to convince himself that Zack was really up and that it wasn't just his mind playing tricks on him. Stepping into the room he slid the door closed behind him. He remained still for a moment more before his feet began to move on their own, taking him towards the bed. No words were spoken between the two, Zack simply held out his arms and Cloud fell into them being wrapped into a fierce embrace while letting out a shaky breath. He held onto the other just as tightly, soaking up his warmth, listening to his heartbeat and feeling his breath on his skin. Alive. That was what Cloud's mind kept repeating. Even though Cissnei had kept telling him that Zack would be fine, that he was just resting...Cloud couldn't fully believe it until Zack was awake.

He felt his eyes begin to sting with tears that were threatening to fall but he quickly blinked them back.

"You're okay," Cloud finally breathed as he felt fingers thread into his hair. "You're okay."

Cloud had taken the words right out of Zack's mouth and he nodded in reply while pulling the blond closer towards him.

"I thought...I thought I was going to lose you," Cloud continued.

"I'm so sorry," Zack started, his voice heavy with guilt. The fact that he had put Cloud in such a situation was gnawing at him, and he couldn't help but to feel as if he had let him down.

"No," Cloud started with a shake of his head while pulling away to look into blue eyes that he had been so afraid that he might never look into again. "_I'm_ sorry. It's my fault you got hurt while protecting me. And I...I ran away. I shouldn't have, I didn't listen when you told me to stay by the carriage and-"

"No," Zack began while cupping Cloud's face and trying to stop the tears that he saw welling up in the others eyes. "It's not your fault. It's not, don't think that."

"I was so scared," Cloud continued, "I don't ever want to feel that again."

"I was careless. It won't happen again, I'm sorry to put you through that."

Wrapping his arms around Zack's neck Cloud held on tightly while strong arms wrapped around his waist.

"It's okay," Zack said gently. "Everything's alright now. It's okay."

"If it weren't for Cissnei Zack," Cloud started while pulling away once again but still keeping his arms around the others neck loosely.

"Cissnei?" Zack asked softly, "Is that the girl from before."

Nodding Cloud let his hand run down Zack's cheek briefly. "You probably don't remember meeting her earlier on. She said some things might be spotty for you. Do you...remember what happened?"

Furrowing his brows Zack let out a sigh. "I remember...being up in the mountains and coming across the Samurai. But...everything after that is a little vague. I remembered finding you but...I wasn't sure if you were safe. When I woke up here just now I thought...that you weren't with me."

Seeing the concern in his eyes when he uttered those words Cloud instantly moved back in and wrapped his arms around him. He just wanted to hold on and never let go.

"I wouldn't leave you alone," Cloud said softly.

"I know," Zack replied while wrapping an arm around Cloud's shoulders, "but I thought you may have been taken from me."

Cloud felt his stomach sink from those words. He couldn't imagine how Zack must've felt upon waking up in a strange place without knowing what all had happened. He knew he shouldn't have left his side! But, well he guessed Cissnei just didn't want him to worry. But now that he was there he wanted to fill in all of the blanks for Zack so that he wouldn't feel so confused.

"Nobody was taking me from you," Cloud started, "you got rid of all the Samurai back there. And then after you found me, when we were heading back to the carriage was when you passed out."

"So I did pass out all the way up there?" Zack asked in a bit of surprise.

"Yes," Cloud replied while looking up at the other, "we hadn't even made it to the carriage yet. I wasn't even sure that we would but...somehow I managed to drag you there."

Zack raised an eyebrow at that. He had to admit that was a bit shocking as well. After all if he remembered correctly that was a pretty good distance. And not that he thought Cloud was weak or anything but their size difference alone made it a difficult task he was sure.

"It wasn't until I got you into the carriage that I saw your injury...I thought that...I didn't know. But I could see the blood that you had already lost so I wrapped it as best I could and I decided to turn the opposite way, to try to find the closest town. There was no way we were going to be able to continue on the way we were going, at that rate you would've..."

Pausing briefly Cloud let his gaze waver as he thought back to those moments. Cold, scared and worried. Even now he honestly didn't know how he managed but he supposed at the time there was no room to over think things, he just did what he had to.

He felt Zack rub his back comfortingly and when he looked at him again he saw understanding in his eyes. He let out a soft sigh as he leaned against him again.

"I guess we made it a good ways down the mountain, I couldn't really tell with the storm but then the wheel on the carriage must've gotten stuck in the snow and it completely broke off. I thought for sure that was it...but then I saw a light coming from this house here. And I tried to get us as close as I possibly could to it. And that's when Kenzo found us."

"Kenzo?" Zack asked gently.

"Yeah," Cloud replied, "he's Cissnei's father. He found us and carried you back here the rest of the way, and then Cissnei took it from there."

Zack nodded as he took in the information before looking down when he felt Cloud's hand clench at his chest.

"If it weren't for them...before that I honestly was just going to give up. I thought it was impossible. I was just going to stay there in that broken carriage and wait for the end to come."

Not being able to hold back his tears any longer Cloud turned his head so that his face was hidden against Zack's chest. He felt like he had been holding in so much ever since they had arrived there. He wanted to be strong for Zack, and to have that same optimism that Cissnei had. And so he had been trying, and holding back his fears and worries, as much as he could on the outside anyways. But now...all of those overwhelming feelings just finally had to escape.

"But you didn't," Zack began gently while holding Cloud tighter when he felt the wetness of his tears against his chest. "And even if you had, you decided to stay with me. You would follow me... even till death?"

Not hesitating for even a second Cloud nodded.

"Life or death...wherever you go, so do I."

Zack had to swallow the lump that he felt rise in his throat at those words. He grasped the sides of Cloud's head before leaning down and placing a lingering kiss on top of feathery blond hair. Those words to him were love at it's purest and rawest, and he would always cherish them more than anything. After all he felt exactly the same way.

"You know," he started before placing another kiss on top of his head, "you say if it weren't for them...and I am very _very_ grateful to them, but if it weren't for _you_...getting to them wouldn't have even been possible."

"Me?" Cloud asked while pulling away and looking up at Zack with a tear stained face. "Zack I didn't do anything, I didn't even know what to do."

Reaching out Zack wiped away Clouds tears before a hint of a smile appeared on his face. "Really? Sounds like you bandaged me up and carried me off to get help."

"Bandaged? I ripped my kimono and wrapped that around you," Cloud explained with a bit of a scoff. "And it wasn't really carrying you more than it was dragging."

"Details," Zack replied with a wave of his hand before his small smile turned into a grin. "Either way those things probably saved my life."

"Well," Cloud started with a slight blush. He supposed when it was put that way that he had indeed helped, as unsure and clumsy as he was with it all. "You would've done the same for me."

"Yes," Zack simply replied while leaning down and pressing his forehead against the others. Their eyes met briefly before Zack leaned in the rest of the way and placed a soft kiss against Cloud's lips. He held the kiss for a moment, pulling away only briefly before capturing the others lips once more and feeling small hands against his bare chest. They gradually moved upwards, traveling over his shoulders and up his neck before tangling into raven hair as their kiss grew more passionate.

Circling his arms around the smaller ones waist Zack pulled him flush against his body and he savored the small moan that escaped from the blond.

"Cloud? Are you still in there?" A soft voice asked from the other side of the door.

The tender moment was abruptly shattered and they quickly broke their kiss. Cloud pulled away from Zack before standing up from the bed and crossing the room. "Yes I'm here," he replied while sliding open the door. He was greeted with a warm smile as Cissnei stepped into the room carrying a tray of food.

"I was pretty certain you could eat alot, and you definitely need your energy," she explained while crossing the room and placing the tray down beside the bedside table.

"You should've told me, I could've helped," Cloud spoke as he looked over at the meal.

"Oh it's no problem," Cissnei started, "besides I know you two needed a moment."

Cloud nodded before a slight blush graced his face and Zack gave a smile of appreciation.

"Thank you Cissnei," he spoke before the girl gave him a smile.

"You're welcome," she replied. "Eat everything, and then get some rest. I'm glad you're awake and feeling better but you still need to heal. So no leaving that bed until I say so."

Blinking briefly Zack gave a nod. "Understood. How long do you think it'll be until I'm alright to travel again?"

"Travel?" Cissnei asked as her eyes widened slightly. "What are you worrying about that for right now? Even if you have healed up, in this weather traveling is out of the question. You could easily end up back in the same situation."

"Well I-"

"Don't push yourself," she continued as Cloud made his way back over to the bed and took a seat beside Zack. "Let's just take it day by day alright? We've been managing pretty well so far."

"So far?" Zack asked with a tilt of his head before shifting his gaze back to Cloud. "How long have we been here?"

"It's been about five days," Cloud replied and Cissnei nodded in confirmation.

"Five days?" Zack repeated in shock.

"You see?" Cissnei started, "you obviously needed the rest. And you still do, so don't go trying to speed up the process."

"I think she's right Zack, we really shouldn't push it," Cloud added while placing his hand on Zack's arm.

"Of course," Zack replied while glancing back into concerned blue eyes before looking up at Cissnei. "We wouldn't want to outstay our welcome, but if it's fine with you we'll remain here for a while longer."

"It's no problem at all," Cissnei spoke. "However my papa would like to talk with you later. I suppose just to answer some questions that he had that Cloud couldn't particularly answer."

Cloud gave Zack a bit of an unsure look and Zack nodded once more.

"I'll speak with him whenever he'd like."

"Great," Cissnei replied with another smile. "But that's later. For now," she started while lifting the tray from the bedside table and placing it on his lap. "Eat. Then rest."

* * *

"Well then, if that about sums it up. I think today's meeting can come to a close," Elena explained while giving a sidelong glance to the Shogun.

"Indeed," the man replied with a nod of his head.

The conference room became filled with sounds of people getting up from their seats and exiting, not before giving parting bows to the Shogun. He remained seated with Elena standing beside him as mostly everyone left out of the room. However Angeal remained, gathering his documents and folders as Sephiroth waited for him beside the door.

Elena was speaking quietly to the Shogun before the conference room doors burst open. Everyone inside quickly looked over to the loud sound and Sephiroth reached for his sword, instinctively getting ready for a possible confrontation. But upon looking at the person who burst into the room he let his hand slip away. It was a Samurai...a somewhat frantic looking Samurai. Who he was though Sephiroth wasn't sure.

"What do you think you're doing?" Elena asked in disgust at the man's sudden entry.

Dropping to the ground the Samurai gave a deep bow.

"Forgive me," he spoke, "but I needed to see the Shogun right away. I have urgent news." Elena was about to speak again but the Shogun held up his hand to silence her.

"You may speak," Hojo said as he kept his gaze locked on the Samurai.

"Thank you," the man started before sitting up, "We found Chamberlain Saito's son."

Those words made Angeal's stomach drop but he kept a neutral expression on his face before shifting his gaze towards Sephiroth. He had an unreadable expression as well but Angeal was sure that he had to have been feeling the same thing at the mention of those words.

"You have?" The Shogun asked while leaning forward in his seat. "Is he alive?"

"Yes," the Samurai replied, "very much so. But we...were not able to retrieve him."

Raising an eyebrow the Shogun shook his head. "Why not?"

"He wasn't alone," the Samurai continued with a sigh, "He's with Zack Fair."

Hojo's eyes widened and he slowly leaned back in his seat while Elena let out a small gasp.

"So it was true," Hojo seemed to speak quietly to himself before the Samurai continued on.

"Yes, he...he disposed of everyone else...I was the only remaining, and I came back here."

"You deserted," Sephiroth stated while raising his head and looking down at the Samurai.

"I...I had no other choice," the Samurai replied shakily, "besides, I lost them in the mountains. And with just me remaining there was no way that I could've gotten the Chamberlains son."

A silence fell over the room after that, each of them getting lost in their own thoughts. Then the Shogun was letting out a deep sigh before looking over to Angeal.

"Hewley," he started sternly.

Not saying anything for the moment Angeal looked down to the Samurai. "You're certain you're not mistaken? You did run away after all. Was it indeed Zack that you saw with-"

"It was Zack Fair!" He shouted while turning a blazing gaze to Angeal. "No mistaking at all."

"So not only did he take the Chamberlain's son from his home, he also killed his former comrades," Hojo started quietly while folding his hands together. "Those were your men out there Hewley. Slaughtered because of your star pupil. What will you do?"

Crossing his arms across his chest Angeal gave a brief nod. "If it's as you say," Angeal started while shifting his gaze back to the Samurai. "I suppose sending more after them would be a bit risky. I could say I'm shocked that he easily got rid of them, but that would be a lie. Zack has always been one of the most skilled. He definitely wouldn't run," Angeal finished while narrowing his eyes at the kneeling Samurai.

"Indeed," Sephiroth agreed, keeping cool eyes on the Samurai.

"So what are you saying?" Hojo asked while furrowing his brows. "That sending anymore Samurai after him would be a waste? We'll just send more...ones that are more of a match," he explained with a wave of his hand. "None of these cowardly ones."

The Samurai looked away at that, hanging his head as they continued to converse.

"Yes that's a possibility," Angeal started before shaking his head. "But even then, they're certainly far, far away by now. And with no way of knowing which way they were headed or where they could be...would it be worth it?"

"This is true," Sephiroth broke in while taking a few steps away from the wall. "With nobody trailing them at this point we wouldn't know the first place to look. Sending out a bunch of Samurai to search would be pointless. Not to mention a waste of bodies that we could use for legitimate assignments."

"_This_ is a legitimate assignment," Hojo replied quickly.

"He's one kid," Sephiroth spoke just as quickly. "One who has taken up a sufficient amount of time, energy and expenses. And now even lives. At this point I would just let it go. It's not as if they could ever come back, leave them out there. They'll be exhiled."

A brief silence passed over them as Hojo let Sephiroth's words sink in. He had a point, and logically it was the best thing to do. Perhaps he was sinking too much time and energy into finding Cloud, but now that he was for certain that Zack was with him...he felt as if he had to find them. To show Zack that _he_ was the powerful one, and that he would pay dearly for trying to defy him.

"Zackary Fair is a traitor," Hojo started quietly while pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. "If I merely look the other way on this what does that say? He needs to be held accountable, as an example. So that others may see what'll happen if you betray the Shogunate."

Angeal knew this was more than that however. He knew that this was just the Shogun being stubborn. He could act as if he was "concerned" about Cloud and just wanted to return him to his family, and that he needed to make an example out of Zack's betrayal, but that wasn't fooling Angeal at all. And if the Shogun was so insistent on it and wasn't going to let up, then he figured he would just have to take matters into his own hands.

"If that's how you feel about it, then I'll go myself," Angeal stated calmly.

"You?" Elena asked in surprise as Hojo gave the other a suspicious look.

"What would just you going alone accomplish?" Hojo asked while leaning forward a bit more.

"A lot," Angeal said while looking at Hojo. "I can retrieve Cloud if he is indeed with Zack. And despite whatever the circumstances are I won't be harmed. I was Zack's mentor, regardless if he's betrayed _you_ or not he would never lift his sword to me."

Nodding Hojo leaned back in his seat as Elena gave him a questioning look.

"You are the head of the Samurai here..." Hojo began before Angeal gestured to Sephiorth.

"Yes, but now that General Sephiroth is back it changes things. So long as one of us is in Edo it shouldn't cause any problems."

"You mentioned that you could retrieve Cloud," Hojo started before looking at Angeal from over the top of his glasses. "And what of the ronin?"

"I'll do what I must," Angeal replied without a moments hesitation.

"Is that so?" Hojo asked with a bit of a smirk. "Even though he was your shining pupil for so long?"

"Even so," Angeal stated with a nod.

Pausing for a short moment Hojo contemplated it before giving one short nod.

"Very well then," he spoke while looking towards the Samurai who had reported to him. "I suppose it would be the most appropriate, and we wouldn't have to send out any others."

"It seems to be the best bet," Angeal agreed.

"How soon could you leave?"

"Right away if necessary," Angeal replied, "I just would need to go over some things with the General before departing."

"Very well," Hojo began with a nod before looking back to the other Samurai. "Is there anything else that you could tell Hewley that may be of some use to him before he departs?"

"There's no need for that," Angeal broke in while glaring at the Samurai who deserted. "I can track them on my own."

"You're dismissed," Elena said with a wave of her hand to the Samurai. He gave another quick bow and then he was exiting the room. Within a few more moments the rest of them dispersed from the conference room. Angeal and Sephiroth moved down the hall silently as they made their way back to Angeal's quarters. There was certainly questions running around through both of their heads, but they didn't dare to speak a single word out loud until they were in private.

Once inside Angeal made his way directly over to the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of his finest sake. Sephiroth had just taken up his seat at the table when Angeal sat the bottle down.

"So leave it all up to you," Sephiroth spoke, breaking the silence just as Angeal began to pour their drinks.

"What would you have me do?" Angeal asked while sliding the cup of sake towards the other. "It didn't seem as if he were going to listen to the just leave them out there idea."

"True," Sephiroth replied while picking up his cup, "however now you plan to bring Cloud back? And Zackary, there's no way you-"

"Of course not," Angeal snapped with a shake of his head. "I won't bring Cloud back here, and I definitely would do no harm to Zack. I just need Hojo to believe that."

"So what will you do?" Sephiroth asked.

"I should know roughly where they are," Angeal started before taking a drink. "We mapped out a general idea of where they would be traveling. And if they for any reason had to change it up because of the run in with those Samurai, I'm still fairly certain I could track them from that point. And I also know some of the places they may decide to settle at."

"Okay so you find them...and then?" Sephiroth asked.

Letting out a sigh Angeal ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know. Warn them. At least it'll buy them time, and they won't have any Samurai after them. And who knows, after the amount of time that I'm gone when I get back perhaps the Shogun won't be so focused on this anymore."

Taking another drink Sephiroth took in Angeal's words. He was right about buying them time. But how much? And after he came back empty handed wouldn't the Shogun just grow more frustrated, and if he did he would probably just send out others again. When would it end?

"When you do come back, I think you need to say that they're gone."

Glancing up from the table Angeal raised an eyebrow. "Gone?"

"Yes," Sephiroth replied, "as in they've perished. It seems the only way that the Shogun would give up this search for Cloud is if he were led to believe that he was dead. With him now knowing that he was spotted and that he's alive it just re ignited the spark in him. This will just turn into a vicious circle. Tell him that there was some accident, a run in or some encounter. Whatever it might be."

Nodding Angeal furrowed his brows. A vicious circle indeed, perhaps Sephiroth was right. But even then...

"Do you think he would accept it so easily?" Angeal asked quietly.

"That I do not know," Sephiroth replied with a sigh. "But it seems to be the best chance for them. Especially Zackary."

"For Zack yes," Angeal agreed before taking another drink. Zack's safety was the one thing that Angeal had feared for since the beginning of all of this. And he would do what was necessary to ensure that no harm came to him, but he only hoped that it would be enough.

"But I would be very wary of my surroundings," Sephiroth continued. "Hojo agreed to this, but the amount of trust he has in you I'm sure has dropped considerably since Zack is involved. He may already suspect that you wouldn't be honest...so he may have you followed as well."

"That thought already crossed my mind," Angeal spoke.

"Just be cautious," Sephiroth added while shifting his gaze towards the window. "We won't have to worry about this for much longer."

"Hmm?" Angeal asked while glancing up towards the other. "How do you mean?"

Remaining silent for a moment longer Sephiroth looked back to Angeal. "Don't worry."

Those words didn't sit well with Angeal and he leaned back while keeping his gaze fixed on his friend.

"Seph-"

"Just make sure Zackary and Cloud are safe. That should be your priority as of now," Sephiroth broke in while reaching forward for the sake bottle and pouring more into his cup. "Leave the things here to me."

"I'm not quite sure what that means," Angeal started quickly while narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Well then I'll leave you to ponder it," Sephiroth replied, letting jade eyes pierce directly into the others. Angeal's eyes widened briefly before he was leaning onto the table, searching those emotionless eyes for any more meaning of his words. He couldn't be sure, but he thought...he was starting to wonder...

"You haven't forgotten you made a promise to me," Angeal spoke lowly.

"That was a long time ago Hewley," Sephiroth spoke while lifting the cup of sake to his lips.

"And? Does that make it any less of a promise?" Angeal asked with shock.

"I kept my promise," Sephiroth continued calmly. "It's been years."

"Sephiroth-"

"More importantly _you _forget that I made a promise to someone else as well," Sephiroth explained. "Why do you think I even came back to Edo?"

* * *

**A/N: Chap 23 is finally up! There was some delay so forgive me, but this fic is coming to its end and so I like to kind of have the last chapters mapped out how I want them before I start to post so yeah. Zack is okay! For now, anyways. But it seems as if Cissnei and her father are a big help. And Zack got rid of the Samurai who were after them so that should mean they are in the clear? And with Angeal going out for them that should be better, but then again what exactly does Sephiroth seem to have up his sleeve? The ending of this chapter might've been vague, but it ties in to a previous chapter if you paid attention. And those that know me and my writing style, know that I LOVE foreshadowing! Haha, thanks for your reviews and feeback all, it's much appreciated. Till next chap! **


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